I've "almost" gotten involved a couple times. There was one time in particular that stands out though. I met this girl at an agency totally randomly (this was before I discovered any of the review boards). In addition to being one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, I was struck by how well we connected on a personal level. We had lots in common in terms of our life experiences, views, passions and so forth and I found myself completely enchanted by her overall magnetism and presence. Of course, I left after "the hour" reminding myself that I should't kid myself into thinking that the elation and attraction I was feeling was mutual. After all, I thought, it's part of her job to make me feel like that, isn't it? Suffice to say for the next couple days I couldn't get her out of my mind and, having heard somewhere that her agency had a website I, eager to see more of her, decided to look for it on the internet. It was while doing this that I came across PERB (the west coast equivalent of MERB, for those not in the know). Of course, the first thing I did was search for reviews of this girl and lo! I was not surprised to find that she was one of the most popular and well reviewed women on the Island. Reading her reviews I was not surprised to find that there were quite a few fellows out there who left her glowing presence in the exact same frame of mind that I did. Knowing this, I became even more convinced that the elation I was feeling was more due to her overall magnetism and lovliness than any reciprocal feelings she had for me. Nonetheless, I felt like sharing my amazing experience with this girl and from that came my first ever review of an escort. To my great surprise, some time after posting it I received a PM from the lady in question telling me that it was not all in my head and that she had felt a tremendous personal connection to me, more than with any of her other clients. She had a boyfriend at this point (who knew about her work, though he didn't like it) so the two of us just agreed to be friends (she even started signing her PMs with her real name, which I thought was significant). Some time later I was back in the city in question and when I randomly called her agency (this was before I discovered the wonders of prebooking). Uncharacteristically, the lady in question here was available immediately and, without hesitation, I agreed to see her. I didn't think anything of it at first, but after I was in her presence I felt a conflict within me-- on the one hand here was this woman who I had recently started to become friends with, and on the other I had just given her a stack of 20s with the idea that she take her clothes off and let me ravage her beautiful body (sidenote: this woman had the most wonderful breasts I have ever beheld, and given that I have seen both Eva of Eleganza and Helene de Lasalle, that's no small praise). What's the problem, you ask? Well, I was having trouble getting over this certain mental hurtle-- if she was truly my friend, could I continue to do this? While I knew that she would have gone through with it had I persisted-- we were both laying there very semi-clothed-- I could see in her eyes, through to the person behind, that she was craving some sort of vindication of my professed friendship. She wanted to know that I really liked her as a person, and not just a mind-blowingly beautiful body. To make a long story short, my conscience won the day and we spent the full hour just talking, with nothing sexual beyond some spooning and mutual caresses taking place. In the time since, we attempted to meet up a few times socially but, alas, due to things popping up from both of our ends, it never ended up working out. I became quite busy with my job and we basically stopped communicating (she since left "the business"). The point I guess I would like to get across in this somewhat long winded exposition is that, even though it's sage advice much of the time, people are still people and there is no reason in principle that a mutual, loving relationship or friendship cannot be had between an SP and a client-- there just has to be a lot of communication and mutual understanding for it to work, I think. We have no real say who we fall for-- we just fall, that's the whole idea.
Have you ever gotten emotionally involved with an SP or a client?
- Thread starter General Gonad
- Start date
General Gonad said:
You have to know when someone's feeding you a line of bullshit. GG, can you tell when an SP is leading you on? I get the impression your expecting more than these SP's are willing to give. They are in this for the money...not emotional connections. Im not saying all the SP's are out to string you along...but if they see $$$ then almost all of them are willing to play you. If a wife cant give the emotional connection someone is looking for, one can always search for someone on the side...as long as they arent an SP.
"Something refreshingly honest"...please go into detail what you mean by this statement.
"Trained in the art of sensuality"...are you implying they are trained differently from the other 99.9% of the women out there who arent SP's? If so please explain how.
Emotion, trust, security, dependability, support...all of these should be searched for OUTSIDE the hobby.
breadman said:
I have to agree with Breadman on this.
Unlike a lot of hobbyists, I have zero expectations of developing any relationship with any SP. That doesn't mean I "wham bam and thank you ma'am". I treat the ladies with respect and as I would treat a girlfriend. I just don't expect any of them to ever become a girlfriend outside the contours of the session.
I have been seeing escorts for a long time. For some reason, and at least for me, I find it very easy to keep things "professional", and not develop "emotional bonds" such that I would ever want to have an ongoing relationship or friendship with any SP. I suspect if I had problems keeping things "professional", I would have stopped a long time ago, and I would have sought out a steady girlfriend to satisfy such yearnings.
I don't have those feelings, however, with SPs. I do sometimes get those feelings with non-SPs that I meet in my personal life. But even then, and maybe this will change, but I have no severe yearning or desire to be in a monogamous relationship.
No offense to GG, because he is not alone, but I think that he may be the kind of hobbyist who is in an unsatisfying (on some level) monogamous (or theoretically monogamous) relationship and the SP is then looked at as being someone who fills a void that is not being filled by the official SO. I personally don't find this to be a healthy attitude, as it makes the hobbyist prone to seeking to fill a void that really cannot be filled.
To me, there is purity and simplicity in confining one's expectations with an SP to personal sexual satisfaction. Because that's what you are paying for. You are not paying for a sexual surrogate or a surrogate significant other. Nor are you paying for the right to act as "savior", and I do not mean to single anyone out by saying this, because more than a few of you have a savior complex.
Make her job easy. Treat her well, and like you would treat a girlfriend. But at the end of the day, your only expectation should be to have received personal sexual satisfaction.
EagerBeaver said:
Couldnt have said it better EB.
I meet new women, do the dating thing...but im not trying to find 'that special someone' in every singe women I meet. You cant force them to be the 'one'. So until then I see whoever is available and enjoy every one that cums along...
I can't relate to a client who gets into an emotional dependence on an escort, perhaps because I see escorts only as a visitor to their city. But I have formed bonds with some escorts that maintained our business relationship (and friendship) over several years.
By the way, no one here would blink if I say I love my car, love my country or love my job. Why can't I say I love my escort?
By the way, no one here would blink if I say I love my car, love my country or love my job. Why can't I say I love my escort?
RobMtl said:
HOnestly, how can you say that when you write review of girls like they are pieces of meat? I'm no religious fanatic, not at all, there is no God. ugh, I don't want to create problems, but the escort I knew best never thought negatively of anyone, though she knew if affected her self esteem, in a negative way. Then you are thinking, this guy is a hypocrite. Basically I'm here to ease my pain. I've already done that with her. She's out, and I'm not trying to convert anyone out of it, as some of these girls just love sex. Some of it do it just for the money, so it isn't so pleasant for them.
gamelessdork said:
I think it's more true to say that pretty much all of the girls do this just for the money, while there are some who, in addition to this, also enjoy the sex/affection to some degree (the women in this latter category are the ones who tend to make better escorts).
Robin said:
When you take your escort friend out for dinner and drinks, who pays?
Robin, you really cant have both...a business relationship and friendship. Just doesnt work for this 'business'. You might get a better business relationship by keeping in touch...but business is business.
Do you buy your car from the same dealer/saleman every time? If so, do the two of you hang out and have dinner and drinks?
You can have a friend who happens to be an escort...and hang out with them....as long as you dont have sex afterwards.
angeleyes said:
This is definitely true. For me, I came to this business the same way that Naughty lady did - I was doing it anyway - why not got paid for it? I was older than most when I entered this business, I was single, horny as hell, going out alot and sleeping around alot, I would have preferred one man, but I was too sexual to wait for a "loving" relationship to develop and so, no relationship did.
Thus, I can clearly say I am doing it for both reasons (money and because I LOVE sex) - oh, and I am not into that Brad Pitt type (never have been) so alot of my clients are the same type of guys I went with anyhow.
Nothing much changed really - now instead of being a slut - I'm a whore (I am using language I don't normally use - but it makes it clear that the only things that REALLY changed are my pocketbook and symantics (sp?). I am not sure if I could go back to being a slut (haha) not because I am any less horny, but because I am no longer excited by giving it away - I want something in return, emotionally (a relationship), or money.
xoxox
Anik
Last edited:
Bravo Anik!
I applaud your openness and honesty! I find you to be a very valuable contributor to this community and for most part always enjoy your posts.
Thanks for contributing!
SK
I applaud your openness and honesty! I find you to be a very valuable contributor to this community and for most part always enjoy your posts.
Thanks for contributing!
SK
Just-ass-weet said:
Though, alas, we've never met, I have no problem believing you.
I inadvertantly came across your review page at The Erotic Review site and what I saw was page after page of reviews that were consistently off the charts. Whatever you do, you evidently do it very well, and according to your legions of admirers you definitely enjoy it (something very difficult to consistently fake). Cheers! You make good points. This hobby makes it easy to think and act like a friend even though money is involved.breadman said:
Robin said:
It's tough to swallow but at the end of the day, it really is primarily all about money. Sometimes there is an illusion of a friendship but true friendships rarely spawn from financial agreements.
I call some SPs to see how they are because I genuinely care about them but can I honestly say we have a true friendship? No, it is a strange relationship where they know more about me than I do about them. I do not really know if they are being nice to entice me to see them again or if they are genuinely nice and care about me. I try not to dwell on this and I prefer to maintain an arms-length relationship with SPs as long as they are SPing.
GG
General Gonad said:
Im guessing these are Indy's...cause agency's wouldnt like knowing that you've got the private numbers of their girls.
So the question is...what's the most often that you've called an escort after seeing her and not rebooked? If your calling and calling and not seeing her again than you are wasting her time and minutes on her phone.
Like my buddy Jackyo said on the subject of tipping in Germany, and it applies here..."If you like the girl, see her again..."
p.s. If your just calling to talk, they have 900 numbers for that.
Last edited:
breadman said:
Yes, they are mostly indies but I do not call them often - maybe once a month or every two months to see how they are doing. I have recently called an agency lady but this is not to book her behind the agency's back (I cannot get into this on the boards but the agency owner knows that I communicate with her).
I always ask them if they have time to speak and if they don't, I wish them well and hang up. They never make me feel as if I have to book them but it's always lurking on my mind.
I remember one SP, Gabrielle Luv, refused to speak with me after we met because she "doesn't have time to socialize unless it's for an encounter." Initially, her attitude turned me off but after some thought, it was her right to refuse speaking with me "off the clock". As I stated above, these are strange relationships.
GG
For what it's worth
OK, here goes….
Well, a lot has changed since I contributed to this long-lived thread in April. I have met a lot of Montréal working girls since then, and they are quite unlike the girls I used to meet in the past… I’ve also personally met a few gentlemen who have fallen for the missies…
I can certainly see how easy it is to fall under the spell. I’m not immune. After all, sex is only a part of what these girls do. They also provide companionship, and some of them really shine in that department.
I’ve come to some conclusions and have drawn up a set of rules to guide my conduct in this area. Since I drew them up, I am free to break them at anytime.
Strangely enough, if I ever decide to invite one of the girls for dinner or a trip (including compensation for time), it would definitely be someone I have a good bond with, yes, but also someone I feel detached enough about to know it’s business for the both of us.
BTW, apart from my recent Montréal experiences, I was good friends with an escort in Toronto for 4 years. We hung out and went out together, helped one another, etc. But this was an exceptional relationship, I now see: there never were any gray areas, sex was paid for, everything else was “au gratis”. Even so, I always knew there was no possibility of more, and accepted it.
OK, here goes….
Well, a lot has changed since I contributed to this long-lived thread in April. I have met a lot of Montréal working girls since then, and they are quite unlike the girls I used to meet in the past… I’ve also personally met a few gentlemen who have fallen for the missies…
I can certainly see how easy it is to fall under the spell. I’m not immune. After all, sex is only a part of what these girls do. They also provide companionship, and some of them really shine in that department.
I’ve come to some conclusions and have drawn up a set of rules to guide my conduct in this area. Since I drew them up, I am free to break them at anytime
.- It’s up to the girl. What I mean is, it’s usually pretty obvious to these girls when we’re falling for them. If they want to act on that, they should say something.
- It stays in the hotel room until it’s a real relationship. I’m not saying it’s wrong for you other guys to have dinners and trips with the girls. But if you’re paying “clock-time” for that, then it’s a business engagement for the girl, no matter which shade you paint it. Once you open up that Pandora’s Box, it will be very hard to close it and change it into something else.
Strangely enough, if I ever decide to invite one of the girls for dinner or a trip (including compensation for time), it would definitely be someone I have a good bond with, yes, but also someone I feel detached enough about to know it’s business for the both of us.
BTW, apart from my recent Montréal experiences, I was good friends with an escort in Toronto for 4 years. We hung out and went out together, helped one another, etc. But this was an exceptional relationship, I now see: there never were any gray areas, sex was paid for, everything else was “au gratis”. Even so, I always knew there was no possibility of more, and accepted it.
sapman99 said:
I have come to the conclusion that it is extremely difficult to have a deep relationship with an SP you've met as a client. It is easier for them to retire and meet someone else that will never know about this facet of their lives.
GG
Yabbut
I've also found the reverse is true: it's difficult to have a deep relationship with a significant other when you're seeing escorts, and the SO is none the wiser.
Not pointing fingers here, this is MY life being used as a basis for this observation. In fact, opening up about this to my (ex) SO has had surprisingly positive results!
I also feel for the poor ex-SP who does not have enough confidence in her partner or relationship to eventually open up about this aspect of her past. How deep of a relationship can it really be, then?
I've also found the reverse is true: it's difficult to have a deep relationship with a significant other when you're seeing escorts, and the SO is none the wiser.
Not pointing fingers here, this is MY life being used as a basis for this observation. In fact, opening up about this to my (ex) SO has had surprisingly positive results!
I also feel for the poor ex-SP who does not have enough confidence in her partner or relationship to eventually open up about this aspect of her past. How deep of a relationship can it really be, then?
Last edited:
Difficult, but possible. More than we think.
GG,
Here you nailed it. Right into the head. I faced that fear of an SP to get deeply involved with her client. On the other hand, she attracts parteners based on a same vibration quality, therefore hers won't be too different even after retirement, despite her efforts to hide the past.
General Gonad said:
GG,
Here you nailed it. Right into the head. I faced that fear of an SP to get deeply involved with her client. On the other hand, she attracts parteners based on a same vibration quality, therefore hers won't be too different even after retirement, despite her efforts to hide the past.
sapman99 said:
No comparison. It's easier for me to keep this activity separate from my long-term committed relationship. I am not advocating this and yes, it can harm your relationship, especially if you tend to neglect problems. But it can also help you pass through a tough time in your life.
I would never open up about this to my SO and risk hurting her. NEVER.
sapman99 said:
Are you serious? Are you saying that an ex-SP that keeps this to herself hinders her prospects of enjoying a deep, committed relationship?
A little empathy here sapman....if I were an ex-SP, I wouldn't share this part of my life with my significant other. Some things are best kept for one's self.
GG
Last edited:
Similar threads
