Have you ever gotten emotionally involved with an SP or a client?

[sapman99]

That's my story and I'm sticking to it

Sometimes the client manipulates the escort. Sometimes it’s the opposite. Sometimes, the situation manipulates both. This is such a story. I’ve been living this for 10 months now, and it made most forum threads on these matters seem irrelevant. You be the judge.

I met a new girl back then. From the first minutes of the initial date, I could tell something strong was taking place. There seemed to be a lot of wordless communication happening between the two of us. She never played “companion”. Quite the opposite, this outspoken free spirit opened up to me. Almost every time she revealed a new aspect of herself, I found myself of like mind. There was no way she was tailoring this discourse for me, she always spoke first. Besides, she is very agile in bed, and as far as I know has no need to “work at it” to get bookings. Like two people can in any situation, we were hitting it off.

After a few dates, I knew there was more to this than just an “ATF” (beurk, don’t like acronyms much). I told her I liked her a lot. She told me this was nice but that maybe in order to gain some perspective I ought to visit with others girls once in a while. Well, I was already doing this…

After a few weeks, we met again. This time, she was very, very happy to see me. She started opening up a lot more from then on. Even the sex, which had been quite amazing ‘till then, took on lovemaking overtones. I was falling in love.

We met a couple more times like this, and always something kept me from declaring my heart. The meetings were always very intense and touching, but the low points between the meets grew unbearable. Then one night, we talked about going shopping together the next day. This would have been our first “outside” outing. The next morning, she sent me a text message, excusing herself. I was devastated, this was when I had planned to what was on my mind.

I tried duos (now the secret is out) as an antidote, nothing would do. I was still pining for this girl. I sent her a text message asking for a coffee meet. She replied at length, saying she was intrigued, but scared. That if she blurred the boundaries, her world may tip over into chaos.

A few days later, I decided I needed I could no longer take this. I booked a meet through her agency and texted her, so she’d know in advance to expect something special.

I got a very nice B&B room, some roses, candles, and set about to wait. She arrived and saw the setup, I saw the gasp… After a few minutes she asked me what it was I wanted to tell her. I started saying “I’m in love with you”, stopped, said “no, this is wrong, not strong enough, I love you”. The result was strong. Even though she was fully expecting this, her look of utter surprise was complete. She started clinging to me and giving me little tender kisses on the neck while looking at me with wonder. It is not for me to say how she felt.

We had a wonderfully sweet night. She confided many things which seemed to be meant to explain her situation facing this. At one point, she took my hand and led me to the bed, three steps away. It was like a wedding procession in miniature, I will always remember those three steps. Foreplay was almost futile, we had to be in union. After just a little bit of it, she cried “condom, condom, condom”, urgently. We made love. Looking so, so very deeply into one another’s eyes, it was like a symbiosis. We didn’t have orgasms that time, too enraptured with our moment. We lay into one another’s arms after, spooning. She playfully put my hand on her breasts, not sexually but almost like she was giving them to me to keep for a while. Nevertheless, I knew this was “a moment”, that she wasn’t quite going to return my love, that she felt she couldn’t. I also saw her, in that cuddle moment, waver. I asked her if she was okay, she said “I’m fine, just had a bit of vertigo”. Oh, dear, so close…

Of course she had to go, driver waiting. You know the game… I was dejected for close to two months. Then I decided our moments together were still giving me reasons to go on. We had two excruciatingly sweet dates then. She was so glad I’d decided to see her again, and she seemed to need the kind of company I was giving her. A few times, she’d tap the pillow besides her like a petulant child and begged me to put my head down on it so she could rest her head on my shoulder. There was no faking there, she seemed to need it like a man needs water in a desert. On the second of those meetings, her need for affection reached a paroxysm. Let me tell you, I was more than happy to oblige. I thought for sure, all I needed to do was stay my course and things would progress naturally.

The next time, she appeared very cheerful, almost unnaturally so. I had bought some Champagne, not something I do every time. She drank a lot more than usual too. Was very sexual. As usual it was a very nice time, but I felt an edge. At one point, we had one of those moments, almost like we always do, where we find we agree on yet one more thing in life. I saw something strange in her eyes. It was almost like she had wished that, on this ONE thing, could we at least disagree once? Almost like it would make it easier to detach…

I pre-booked another date through her agency. The day of the meet, I sent her a text message saying how much I was looking forward to it. Mere minutes later, she sent me two terse replies begging me to call the agency and cancel, that she couldn’t do it, was unable to, that she was so very sorry. It wasn`t a scheduling conflict she was talking about... I replied that of course I would do as she asked, and asked about future meets. I got two words back: ``Forgive me...``. I never read so much anguish in so few words.

This is it. Draw your own conclusions. I have mine. I will only say that she is a very honest young lady, that she could have easily separated me from a whole lot more of my money and chose not to.

I sort of kick myself for having failed to just “stay in the moment”, but not really. For me it IS real love, I mean it can happen here, and it’s not like I was seeking it either. I just met her and couldn’t be silent… As far as she goes, I hope she doesn’t kick herself either for opening up so much. We had a very, very sweet time together.

And PLEASE don’t insult my intelligence and say I was taken for a ride. I’ve played this game a lot and for a long time now. I know the signs…

 

[MakeIt]

Sapman and Roxanna,

Its rare I post to these types of discussions but your experiences remind me that I've often wondered about an SP’s life after the work day is finished. To explain why, let me first answer the question of this thread. Yes, I've often been emotionally attached to an SP. When I started hobbying, I found it emotionally difficult to approach an SP because I'm shy and approaching a girl for sex for money was no easier that approaching a girl in bar which was almost impossible for me. I always fear rejection even with an SP. But my first experiences with incalls were good and I eventually found even better experiences with outcalls. I also found that I would prefer a date where I would spend some time getting to know her so there was some emotional commitment. I eventually realized the reason I do this is to enjoy the rush of the first time you are with a new girl(friend). This is where you meet a girl somewhere and if things work out well, you having wild sex by the end of the evening. And of course there is emotional response because that’s what makes the sex great. This only happened to me twice in my life, and since I'm now attached, an SP is the best and easiest way to get this thrill. Of course when it goes really well with an SP, its like a first night stand and there is SOME emotional involvement! IMHO, any guy who doesn't feel something for a girl when she is giving herself to you completely (physically and emotionally) is a clod or lobotomized. But I know in reality many guys are only interested in getting their rocks off or living the fantasy of being a porn star, and they also believe that most girls are also without emotion or feeling and are just there for a sexual service – but that’s not what I’m looking for – I’m looking for that emotional rush that comes from having great sex with someone you attracted to both physically and emotionally. The degree of the feeling depends on many factors, but there is feeling! I would also say the physical attractiveness of a girl is greatly enhanced by a smile and a positive attitude. I would say that I now often get a genuine girlfriend experience because I make the effort to set the stage that we’re both there for fun and her enjoyment is as important as mine. I know some merbites will scoff on this statement so you can refrain from commenting.

I did once get involved with a girl outside of the agency and it ended badly – I learned my lesson. The problem is that both clients and providers can easily get attached based on these short encounters - we only see each other for a few hours fantasy and then go back to our lives. If we try to move the fantasy into the real world (non-paying dates, weekends etc.) we may discover many issues about our personalities and lives that make it hard to stay together as a couple. Even with repeats and close acquaintances, the SP goes home after work or a friendly get-together like we all do and gets on with her life. I suppose you can become friends but there is always that sexual tension. The key is to accept that long-term couple relationships are very improbable between clients and providers. You can have emotional involvement, but you have to put it away after the encounter and not try and make something more out of it - not easy to do sometimes.

That brings me to what I've been wondering about - I know how I deal with being in this hobby - I'm attached which creates moral issues for me but I go home to a relationship (which is obviously not healthy but intact nonetheless). However, I believe that SPs must live in a social bubble since there is a social stigma attached to this profession. While there are exceptions, most girls live this job in secrecy which creates all kinds of problems that most people don't need to worry about. Clients do not live this problem because their livelihood does not depend upon this secret. Some SPs are attached and do the job in secret. Some SPs are in lousy relationships with guys who know what they do and don't care because they live off of it or they want to control the woman.

But many of the women, who are wonderful people to spend time with, are not attached for various reasons. And one has to really wonder why they aren’t attached given they’re fun, sexy and outgoing people. Reading Saps and Roxanna's post made me think that perhaps for many women in this profession, they fear getting attached to a client because they know that there will be compromises for them in how they earn their living and live their lives. Or worst yet, they'll get hurt in the end. After all, can you trust a man that you met while he was seeing SPs? Sure, everything’s great for a few months but will he go back to this easy fantasy world??? They may also fear getting attached to someone outside the hobby for the obvious fear of being discovered – what could be worst than falling hard for someone and continuing to work because you need revenue, and then being discovered and dumped by the BF who accuses her of being a wh*** and many other horrible things. This would be far more devastating than your typical boy-girl break-up.

I’m don’t want to generalize, but I really wonder if many (or most) SPs become socially isolated and to the point where having a long-term relationship is improbable. This is much more of an issue for SPs who stay in the industry for a long time which mean this becomes a long-term or life-long problem. Of course, I may be totally off-base here and all these SPs are in very happy relationships? Or maybe they’ve just decided that relationships with guys are a waste of time since they earn a good living and don’t need sex since they get all they want at work, and can buy a cat for affection. And they have GFs for conversation since you can't carry on a conversation with guys anyhow

My question for other hobbyists out there is do you ever wonder or care about your favorite SP’s personal life and relationships. Do you worry they’ll get a BF and retire leaving you to find a new favorite, or would you wish them the best of luck and a happy life?

MakeIt

P.S. – I would wish them the best of luck and a happy life.

 

[Dee]

Thanks for your post Sapman.

I think that most of us (to a greater or lesser extent) hear the irresitable Sirens' call and are wrecked on the rocks... few can have themselves tied to the mast as Odysseus did, hear the call and be unable to respond or, alternatively, like his men, have their ears blocked with beeswax and not hear the call.

Knowing what you know now.... would you rather not have gone through the experience or....????

 

[montreal_monk01]

Have you ever gotten emotionally involved with an SP?

Yes, it happened once but ... by pure circumstancial developments:
I used to have a lot of fun with an old time favourite sp, Leyla of Superchoix (no more in the Biz, she left the Biz 4 yearz ago). She was the typical sulfurous mediterranean hottie I am fond of. Since I never encourage ladies to flirt with me out of their professional environment, I kept things limited to my encounters with her through Super Choix. But she insisted a lot on inviting me to go out.
At the beginning, I was afraid to fall in the "sugar daddy" category, but to my surprise, she was very generous and she was always upset when I would offer her things. I've rarely seen a mistress covering a man with so much material and emotional wonders. It's normally the other way around.
I ended succombing to that, and we had a real fun love affair for about 2 years. Eventhough we travelled a lot together (both her and I were fond of travels covering historical locations, so we travelled a lot to places like Greece, Turkey, Jordania for the city of Petra and other biblical locations, Israel, Cambodia for the Angkor Wat's temples..etc) and had some sort of couple's life (but very liberal and fun since she was more of a mistress), I've always let her continue her job of sping. I lost track of her after meeting my current girl friend, but what great souvenirs.

 

[General Gonad]

He taught me a great lesson. Because of him, I know that there is no such thing as keeping your feelings secret, since sometimes, your feelings speak for themselves.
wow that was long for a quick reply.....

Roxy,

Thanks for sharing this story. You know clients assume that SPs are robots that can easily put up a magical shield to protect their emotions. I am sure most do but you just proved that given the circumstances SPs, like clients, are all too human.

GG

 

[simonpaul]

i meet an sp 2 years ervery thing went well for a while.w e had lot of diner togeter, hockey game,week end ect. my error was to fall in love with her, i lost my mind and rapidely i was consider by her like a sugar daddy nothing else.During that time she meet a new boyfriend and left me.Don t do the same ,never fall in love with a sp she will brooke you life.

 

[montreal_monk01]

i meet an sp 2 years ervery thing went well for a while.w e had lot of diner togeter, hockey game,week end ect. my error was to fall in love with her, i lost my mind and rapidely i was consider by her like a sugar daddy nothing else.During that time she meet a new boyfriend and left me.Don t do the same ,never fall in love with a sp she will brooke you life.

I am saddened to hear that this went wrong for you, Simonpaul. But I guess this (having a relationship with an sp) have same outcome as any relationship in the civvy life.
Without looking for it, I still had an amazing romantic relationship with an sp. I can't say if I'll repeat the experience (only time will tell), but honestly it was just another normal bg-gf relationship.

 

[hungry101]

i meet an sp 2 years ervery thing went well for a while.w e had lot of diner togeter, hockey game,week end ect. my error was to fall in love with her, i lost my mind and rapidely i was consider by her like a sugar daddy nothing else.During that time she meet a new boyfriend and left me.Don t do the same ,never fall in love with a sp she will brooke you life.

This can and will happen with non-SPs as well. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I am saddened to hear that this went wrong for you, Simonpaul. But I guess this (having a relationship with an sp) have same outcome as any relationship in the civvy life.
Without looking for it, I still had an amazing romantic relationship with an sp. I can't say if I'll repeat the experience (only time will tell), but honestly it was just another normal bg-gf relationship.

I have carried a relationship outside of the termas. I just won't let it get too serious because of the age disparity. But I really could fall in love with her. I am too old and too poor to keep her very long...But I do enjoy the sharply discounted roll in the sack

 

[Cookie Monster]

I've only been doing this for a few months but if I was actually looking for love, actual love, I would not be going to massage parlours. Talk about looking for love in all the wrong places.....

 

[simonpaul]

thank you for support i was so studid

 

[CS Martin]

I sent her a text message asking for a coffee meet. She replied at length, saying she was intrigued, but scared. That if she blurred the boundaries, her world may tip over into chaos.

And PLEASE don’t insult my intelligence and say I was taken for a ride. I’ve played this game a lot and for a long time now. I know the signs…

Been there, done that more times than I care to say. You were not taken for a ride. Sometimes these SP's lose themselves in the moment or moments. Believe it or not, the experience could have been even more intense. The bottom line is centered in bolded text.

Damn US Air overbooking, a rainstorm, the backup in customs........Was God trying to tell me something??

 

[marcetsam]

Your not stupid !!! It's easy to fall in love with a nice looking girl.
A lot of merbites did the same but wont say it.I did it once and was used......
Try to remember the nice moments and leave the bad one behind you,life is too short!!

 

[snoodle]

im in love with a few sp's

 

[simonpaul]

your right macetsam live his so short ,it his always beter to look at present and not at the past ,it his impossible to change the past ,we have to enjoy the present.

 

[gll]

it is very easy to lose control and fall in love. i am sure that most who have done this for a few years have a story to tell.

 

[Zatara]

I've only been doing this for a few months but if I was actually looking for love, actual love, I would not be going to massage parlours. Talk about looking for love in all the wrong places.....

If you involve yourself in this activity, you have to think of yourself sort of as a soldier of fortune. You are out for adventure, when this is over you move on to new adventures.

 

[Cookie Monster]

If you involve yourself in this activity, you have to think of yourself sort of as a soldier of fortune. You are out for adventure, when this is over you move on to new adventures.

Exactly what I meant. My little adventures last between 60 to 120 minutes at a time, if I enjoy myself I might return to see the woman in question. The absolutely essential thing to remember at all times is that these women are doing this for $$$, no exceptions. If I never forget that at least that leaves one less thing to worry about.

 

[TheDon]

In my early days in the hobby I was more susceptible to falling for an SP. Now it's just more emotionally detached and more physical.

 

[Labernard]

im in love with a few sp's

I am in love whit few gentlements !

 

[Gotsome]

My ex-gf is a well reviewed escort. We were together only for about 6 months. Being with her was one of the most exciting periods of my life. The sex proved too much for my penis unfortunately and, I had to have a circumcision to correct the strain on my foreskin. We still correspond as good friends. I have no regrets.