How do you stop this?

[bodick7]

One thing to realize, Pablo, is that you're asking advice to a bunch of guys who haven't been able to stop, or simply just won't stop. Fortunately, mommy Lena is here to speak the truth and help you make sense of this insanity.

As advice, please don't propose him a 3some with mummy

 

[LC18]

One thing to realize, Pablo, is that you're asking advice to a bunch of guys who haven't been able to stop, or simply just won't stop. Fortunately, mommy Lena is here to speak the truth and help you make sense of this insanity.

If they knew how to stop I believe they wouldn’t come here so often. But some are on here just to laugh and chat

 

[bodick7]

Cassé!...but at same time it's all about networking

 

[Sylar]

@LC18 is right. Instead of coming here or LL etc ... join a bible group

Ah, missionary!

 

[masterfreak]

Y a pas de recettes miracle pour arrêter de voir des escortes.
Moi je dirais à tous les merbistes de moins de 40 ans mettez votre énergie, argent, temps sur un autre hobby.
C'est clairement une addiction qui peut être dangereuse pour tes relations amoureuses futures tes relations sociales aussi.
Après 40 ans tu as plus d'expérience de vécu, tu sais ce que tu veux et tu peux mettre ton énergie, argent et temps la ou tu veux.
Moi j'ai fait une croix sur mes relations amoureuses je vais chercher de l'affection en voyant des escortes.
J'ai eu la chance d'avoir une longue relation amoureuse avec enfant et jamais je vais comparer cette période de ma vie avec celle que je vie maintenant.
Je suis pas malheureux aujourd'hui c'est juste un bonheur différent.
Une relation amoureuse heureuse demande beaucoup d'investissement à plusieurs niveaux,ça en vaut la chandelle.
Pour moi cette activité est un hobby comme plein d'autres, je suis en contrôle de la situation.
Je pourrais facilement arrêter si j'en ai plus envie.
C'est important d'avoir plusieurs intérêts dans la vie pour apprécier le moment présent.
Si votre vie tourne autour d'un seul intérêt peut importe lequel vous êtes dans le pétrin.

 

[2fast2slow]

its an addiction, but not necessarily destructive if you can afford it and have other interests that create more natural, organinc connections in life. So you dont have to stop, just make more money and have other interests.

 

[Hemme]

Truth… change of thoughts and scenery make the difference

Right.
Try thailand lol!

 

[AlmostMidaged]

I can only stop when I am in a relationship with someone who I have sworn exclusiveness too. At that point I don't bother looking up ads. I quit porn sometime last year and it's made it much easier to not stumble my way over to looking up sexual stuff online. Nowadays, if I am online and start getting horny, I'll close/move the screen away and start picturing someone + scenario to spank my unlimited sperm bank. Basically, I can only stop when it's in sacrifice for someone else. Otherwise, I just let myself indulge because I deserve it. Don't we all deserve a little fun?

 

[ekzarh]

How you stop ? By finding someone who does it all for you, but for free.

Based on my thread it may work, but creates so many other issues. It is an addiction and you need a really strong motivation …

I stopped and have hopes - for good, but I understand there is a high chance I might be back for the “drugs” again.

 

[ekzarh]

Basically, I can only stop when it's in sacrifice for someone else. Otherwise, I just let myself indulge because I deserve it. Don't we all deserve a little fun?

Very well said, I’d sign under every word.

 

[Rebaynia]

Lol... asking a bunch of sex addicts how to stop being a sex addict... . Even sone of us SPs are sex addicts ourselves, or we wouldn't be able to enjoy, or keep up with what we do.

Only thing I can think of was religion that filled a void for a while, but eventually the draw to sex was always too strong... damn even went into depression for a period of my life in relationships because of a bad sex life.

If your wanting to stop to get into finding a relationship, or something more fulfilling, then look for your someone, and quit when you find your relationship.

If it's for money reasons, stop looking at LL when your wanking, and switch to pornhub. At least there what your seeing isn't a click and a few messages away from showing up at your door.
One of my faves before flash games became a thing of the past was newgrounds adult only games. Boy did that ever open my eyes to a lot of intriguing fetishes and desires yet to try lol.

 

[Julia Sky]

Even us SPs are sex addicts ourselves, or we wouldn't be able to enjoy, or keep up with what we do.

Meh! I love sex but wouldn't say I'm an addict. It's only an addiction if it negatively impacts your life in my opinion. But also this is a dangerous slippery slope, because it isn't true that every escort is a nympho. I know escorts who are secretely asexual, even! After all, this is a job. We don't have to love our job for it to be valid. You and I are privileged enough to be horny as hell but that isn't every escort's reality !

 

[transatlantic]

For those whos done this hobby for a while, how do you tell yourself to stop when you have to? I decided to come to a stop but my nang nang down there tells me it just wants more..

Maybe not fully stop but you might slow down.....eventually. I use to come up every 5-6 weeks stay 3 nights and appointments every night. Nowadays I'm in town every 3 months and maybe just 1 or 2 appointments. As I get older, the urge is not as strong. That coupled with talent pool being not as great as it used to be helps with me staying away.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Lol... asking a bunch of sex addicts how to stop being a sex addict... . Even us SPs are sex addicts ourselves, or we wouldn't be able to enjoy, or keep up with what we do.

Only thing I can think of was religion that filled a void for a while, but eventually the draw to sex was always too strong... damn even went into depression for a period of my life in relationships because of a bad sex life.

If your wanting to stop to get into finding a relationship, or something more fulfilling, then look for your someone, and quit when you find your relationship.

If it's for money reasons, stop looking at LL when your wanking, and switch to pornhub. At least there what your seeing isn't a click and a few messages away from showing up at your door.
One of my faves before flash games became a thing of the past was newgrounds adult only games. Boy did that ever open my eyes to a lot of intriguing fetishes and desires yet to try lol.

I'm not a sex addict personally and many escorts I know are not..

I've struggled with addiction in the past and while I think there is nothing wrong with booking escorts and I even encourage it (lol) or I wouldn't have business, I think certain behaviours we have may be compulsive and unhealthy, particularly when it leads to the following issues : mental health disturbances, inability to think about other things, physical health problems, financial issues, problems with relationships, problems with work etc. I agree with Julia said. You can love sex and not be a sex addict. You can be a wine connaisseur and not be an alcoholic. You can work retail and not have a spending addiction. Something becomes an addiction when it interferes in your life very negatively

I think there is a way to get out of an addictive pattern no matter what the addiction is. I've had friends who recovered from being heroin addicts, so it's possible to recover from this as well. There's a reason wh people become addicted to something.. It's because we have struggles and we experienced difficult things. We try to numb emotions that are difficult to face such as loneliness, trauma, heartbreak, etc. The more you try to numb it the worse you feel because the good chemicals that you get from indulging in your addiction are temporary, and the shame that you get from engaging in these behaviours and the issues that your addiction cause in your life make everything worse and worse and it becomes a cycle.

I recommend to invest in healthy relationships, different hobbies and learning new skills. Harm reduction takes time, and you may need therapy for this. Giving yourself small goals, identifying triggers (such as : what are some emotions or situations or things that trigger me to indulge in my addiction?) and trying to avoid them, having empathy for yourself, developing empathy for people generally, and slowly replacing harmful actions with positive ones that nourish your soul are some ways to heal from this.. Developing healthy habits as well, like sleeping well, meditating, enjoying nature, eating well, exercising etc. You kinda have to rewire your brain. And I know it sucks but you have to face these painful feelings and try to deal with them in a healthier way.. like confiding in someone, spirituality, therapy, writing, making art etc

 

[Allnitelong]

I'm not a sex addict personally and many escorts I know are not..

I've struggled with addiction in the past and while I think there is nothing wrong with booking escorts and I even encourage it (lol) or I wouldn't have business, I think certain behaviours we have may be compulsive and unhealthy, particularly when it leads to the following issues : mental health disturbances, inability to think about other things, physical health problems, financial issues, problems with relationships, problems with work etc. I agree with Julia said. You can love sex and not be a sex addict. You can be a wine connaisseur and not be an alcoholic. You can work retail and not have a spending addiction. Something becomes an addiction when it interferes in your life very negatively

I think there is a way to get out of an addictive pattern no matter what the addiction is. I've had friends who recovered from being heroin addicts, so it's possible to recover from this as well. There's a reason wh people become addicted to something.. It's because we have struggles and we experienced difficult things. We try to numb emotions that are difficult to face such as loneliness, trauma, heartbreak, etc. The more you try to numb it the worse you feel because the good chemicals that you get from indulging in your addiction are temporary, and the shame that you get from engaging in these behaviours and the issues that your addiction cause in your life make everything worse and worse and it becomes a cycle.

I recommend to invest in healthy relationships, different hobbies and learning new skills. Harm reduction takes time, and you may need therapy for this. Giving yourself small goals, identifying triggers (such as : what are some emotions or situations or things that trigger me to indulge in my addiction?) and trying to avoid them, having empathy for yourself, developing empathy for people generally, and slowly replacing harmful actions with positive ones that nourish your soul are some ways to heal from this.. Developing healthy habits as well, like sleeping well, meditating, enjoying nature, eating well, exercising etc. You kinda have to rewire your brain. And I know it sucks but you have to face these painful feelings and try to deal with them in a healthier way.. like confiding in someone, spirituality, therapy, writing, making art etc

Agree 100% but not easy regardless…

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Agree 100% but not easy regardless…

No, it's definitely not easy.. healing from traumatic experiences and emotional wounds is really hard and takes a long time and you have to have empathy for yourself.. it's a one day at a time type deal. When you have an unhealthy relationship to something nothing can satisfy you anymore, over time you always need more and more and you feel disgusted with yourself and with what satisfies the craving. I think there are many good and healthy reasons for seeing escorts but I think everyone should benefit in questioning themselves..

 

[2fast2slow]

Maybe not fully stop but you might slow down.....eventually. I use to come up every 5-6 weeks stay 3 nights and appointments every night. Nowadays I'm in town every 3 months and maybe just 1 or 2 appointments. As I get older, the urge is not as strong. That coupled with talent pool being not as great as it used to be helps with me staying away.

i disagree about the talent pool not being as good. I have been an active hobbyest for almost 30 years in this city and we have never had so much choice! We tend to compare every new experience to our best past experiences. Like a drug. We want this 'hit' to match or even better our last best hit... Over time it gets harder (no pun intended) to get that hit in this hobby, at the prices we perceive we used to pay, as our sexual brains become desensitized.

I remember browsing the backpage of the Gazette newspaper or the Montreal Mirror for ads..10 to 15 ads with a phone number..thats all you had...we have come a long way.

It still requires work and monetary risk to find good encounters, but good encouters there are. Like never before.

 

[MCTJ]

We tend to compare every new experience to our best past experiences. Like a drug. We want this 'hit' to match or even better our last best hit... Over time it gets harder (no pun intended) to get that hit in this hobby, at the prices we perceive we used to pay, as our sexual brains become desensitized.

I wish more hobbyists would understand this!
My basic knowledge of psychology as it relates to addiction (including sex addiction, which applies to many of us) allows me to state that this statement is 100% correct!

 

[E666]

No, it's definitely not easy.. healing from traumatic experiences and emotional wounds is really hard and takes a long time and you have to have empathy for yourself.. it's a one day at a time type deal. When you have an unhealthy relationship to something nothing can satisfy you anymore, over time you always need more and more and you feel disgusted with yourself and with what satisfies the craving. I think there are many good and healthy reasons for seeing escorts but I think everyone should benefit in questioning themselves..

I’m gonna sound a bit dramatic lol but I’m actually fine.. things could be worst and I’m working on this addiction everyday. Some days are really hard and some days I forgot that I have this addiction. Read my entire post, I got some good tips.

I easily spend 200 to 500 a week. I am in my early 30s now but I actually started when I was 17. I had a big beard very young so they never checked my ids at bars and salons. So I lost my virginity with an escort actually in a salon.

I never got a gf because of this addiction and I don’t have any savings although I make close to 150k a year. I spend a lot of money in therapy and I even tried hypnosis (which is actually working the best now).. but I just can’t stop.

It’s very specific issue with escorts. I’m a really funny and good looking.. every time I go to a party or a rave.. I always end up bringing girls home. But I just can’t cum unless she’s an escort.

I’ve even dated couple of escorts from seeing them so many times so they became close and stop charging me.. but that never last more than couple of months till the honeymoon phase runs out. Maybe I haven’t found the one yet lol

Look, there’s one thing that helped me a lot (I was 7 months sober last year) and I always try to fall back into this routine every week but I just love my regulars now days.. they been treating me so good… I can’t stop now lol

This is what worked for me:
- understand that you’re constantly edging. If you look at ads/reviews everyday. You’re actually edging yourself and building up the momentum till you text one of them and book a session to climax. It’s a cycle. So understand what cycle you’re on and cut the momentum by journaling and meditating (or whatever helps you - I play guitar for couple of minutes to break the cycle by putting the phone away. When I’m calmed, I start to journal).

- Get a physical alarm clock. Stop using your phone. I get the carvings in the morning or late night.. so I actually lock away my phone on a timed box and put it in another room.

- make sure you start the day right. Start the day by meditating and then a bit of journaling and then look at your phone.

- hypnosis really helps. My hypnosis therapist “installed” some phrases when I was put on hypnosis. The issues is that I don’t want to say it. One of my powerful phrase is “je suis libre de toutes mes dépendances” and I’m off my phone right away… once I was about to knock on a door and I said the phrase and I was able to walk away. But the issue is that 95% of the time… I don’t want to say it. It’s an addiction and I want to keep going… that’s the main issues.

I have all the solutions to stop…. But a big part of me is comfortable here and doesn’t want change.

Thanks for reading, I hope I helped someone. If you need the number of my hypno guy, DM me. Or if you got any questions let me know.

 

[Sylar]

Thanks for sharing. I am curious if / how this addiction has impacted you financially. Did your spending on SPs increase proportionally compared to your salary since you first started or is it now a higher/lower % of your disposable income?