How to quit the Hobby/Addiction?

[malboro_man]

I try myself to quit since last december.I am in the same situation Malboro, i spent over 200k in the last 15 years,now i realize that it is the time to think about my retirement.

Wow! You're a bigger spender than me. I did a calculation today. My 15k wasted is a low estimate. It's at least 22k. That's 20% of my spending wasted.

I am a sex addict but I have it under control. My secret is that i do not live ajacent to any hobby meca and I refuse to hobby at home. I also plan out my sessions and I make sure they are special even if this means I have to pay more. This way I can budget and every date seems special.

Does every session feel like a special treat? Do you savor and look forward to these meeting? Do you regret them later that evening or the next day? You should answer Y, Y, and N. If not consider a hiatus.

This is a really good advice.....I'd have saved 20+k if I did this instead of wasting $ on some ugly fat chick.

 

[gambler]

I used to spend a great deal of time looking at porn and massage parlors. Dont regret it all, had some great times and woudnt change it anything. I may go tommorow. What I didnt like was the loss of control and the obsession.
The standard medication only made matters worse. This is what I did.

- Stopped drinking alcohol.
- After weekly aa meetings went for a massage. 6 months
- Looked at porn with some masterbation.
- 2 years ago during lent prayed for control and the impulse lifted it just went away.
- tried to help here in the form "when hobby becomes a problem (I believe this is key).
- still spent a lot of time in adult chat rooms.
- this lent I prayed everyday for no thoughts . (for 6 weeks I forgot about sex)

But I am back here with an appatite and some impulse, but not an insane obsesive compulsion. Havent had a drink in 2 years and dont plan to drink because I dont want to spend hours trolling for the perfect hooker.

I have learned a lot about the human condition. I would like to say all is well but it isnt.

 

[Gentle]

Easy like for anything else !

1-Decide once and for all
2-Get leverage on why you have to change (plus and minus)
3-Do it
4-Try again if it didn't work

If you tried and it didn't work... try again until you succeed.

Sometimes it's because you didn't get enough leverage (reasons) to quit.
Or...simply that you didn't really decide to quit once and for all.

 

[Xing Yu]

Ce qui mà bcp bcp aidé, cest que jai perdu mon permis de conduire, et j'habite dnas une petite ville où il n'y a pas grand chose!

 

[hungry101]

I dont want to spend hours trolling for the perfect hooker.
.

Gambler - Good news! I have found her. Her name is Deanna and she is a Hungarian working at FKK Oase in the Frankfurt area in Germany. read my report in the Escorts in other cities and then go to ISG and search Oase. She does exist!

 

[Numerati]

This only applies to Americans who frequent Montreal or other parts of Canada to hobby. If you want to stop let your passport expire. It's that simple really. I know many will not hobby in the US because the service is bad, it is expensive and not worth it, the quality of the women is below par and not to forget illegal. Plus given the crackdown by authorities of My Secret Club, Montreal has put an almost total halt to directly touring their girls to the US. For those who want to stop this helps too.

 

[THEHITMAN]

I would avoid watching any porn or anything that would stimulate the mind and body.Also masturbation may and may not help.For some if they masturbate they won't need to hobby and for others if they masturbate they might feel like they have to.It's a case by case situation.Also avoid drinking,drugs,sugar or having anything that is an aphrodisiac.

 

[Matos]

Je dois dire aussi que depuis que j ai refusé de payer mon renouvellement de permis de conduire le 21 juillet 2011 moi aussi j ai moins l'acces facile et me décourage plus, mais je continue de regarder des filles sur des sites porno ou des escortes sur les sites web, une fois par 2 mois,j appel une fille simplement pour entendre sa voix et me parler et je dis que je la rappelerai probablement plus tard, et ca me passe

Je suis aussi un croyant tres fort en Dieu et j aimerais dire que JE pense que nous sommes ici bas sur terre pour travailler a controler nos pulsions d animaux et notre corps avec notre esprit. Je ne bois pas d'alcool, je ne me drogue pas, je ne vois plus d escortes depuis 6 mois environ, (Le plus longtemps j ai tenu a été 10 mois l an passé) et je n ai pas de femme et ni de copine ou conjointe et ni d enfant. Donc il est autant difficile pour moi d arreter ce Hobby qui m'a détruit a petit feu.

J ai pensé aussi a aller a la soirée rencontre sexe anonym, cependant West Mount est trop loin de chez moi et plus d auto, ca me permettrait en chemin de m égarer et de m arreter dans un satané bordel. On m a dit souvent d aller aux danseuses ou masseuses érotiques, la pulsion sexuel pour moi est un malheur et non une chose positive a 31ans.

Je crois que j en ai assez dis et bonne chance a tout ceux qui essais et qui veulent arreter et merci a Merb aussi de nous permettre d échanger sur le sujet. Si y en a qui veulent discuter, je suis ouvert. Send me a PM.

 

[FunLuver]

It s a shock treatment... Google Images of the possible diseases...
Enough seen :s

 

[SamKlemmons]

A good way to quit the hobby is STOPPING READING THOSE KIND OF FORUM. If you want to go on diet don't look on the pastrie's store everyday. Rather go and search for help from your friends (real ones) or a therapist who will help you to find the reason why you are addicted. Anyway, it will cost you less than hobbying regularly and it is tax deductible... Good luck!

Great post.

One of the biggest challenges in quitting dope/booze for most users is that all of their friends are users too. So if you want to quit dope/booze you need ditch your friends first ...

The hobby is the same way.

Spend an hour a day on the boards and you'll end up in an SP's arms in no time....

 

[barolo999]

you might try going to a sex anonymous meeting and they could direct you to a number of resources...

I'm in my late 20' and been doing this sex scene from the age of about 18. My first language is French so bare with me. I don't know how much money I must of spent (1000's). Take today for example I spent $200.00 at a strip joint. I have a gf I live with and I'm very happy with her, really. This shit is like a bad drug, I'm not sure why so man glorify this world. IT's not really a hobby as many refer to it, but rather an addiction.

We might think of the sex scene as a form of entertainment or hobby, but nothing good comes of it. If we play tennis, we develop our body and social skills. If we play chess or read, we develop our minds. What do we develop in this hobby? Nothing but lust, loss of self-control, shame, depression, loneliness, loss of social skills, separation from family and friends, loss of time and MONEY!

How can I stop?

Share thoughts[/QUOTE]

 

[anonguy]

I dont know, I found looking at porn leads to looking at escort sites which leads to booking an appointment... and once you book, you have to go.

 

[suikoden_45]

I dont know, I found looking at porn leads to looking at escort sites which leads to booking an appointment... and once you book, you have to go.

...its a vicious cycle indeed.

 

[TheDon]

The key is keeping yourself busy and not having any time to look at porn which eventually leads to booking an SP.

 

[evillethings]

i had to look back to see who started this thread and when... originated in 2005, then simonpaul revived it in march 2012. nice.

i think ricky bonds (where is he these days) would say it's a "rich man's sport." "sport fucking." hobbying. true enough.
making it sound like an addiction isn't going to help. it's not an addiction. it's a choice, plain n simple.

you just have to tell yourself you want out and ur out.
there's no magic trick.
just tell yourself to stop.

 

[Halloween Mike]

you just have to tell yourself you want out and ur out.
there's no magic trick.

I keep telling myself to not buy beer, work for 2-3 days, then eventually i will buy some... Its not that my body need it, hell i have bad headache and a dirty dry mouth the morning after but rather i love the sensation it give me when i do some stuff. In my case its either a martial arts movie or a juvenile comedy(a la american pie) followed by some gaming either on Gears of War or in a fighting game. Sometimes i skip the movie if buddies are already online and such... And i get so MUCH more fun. I don't play GOW3 anymore when im sobber... i try but i leave after 3-4 games(when im drunk its hours of GOW) Dead or Alive 5 was just release and yet yesterday i felt like playing... but no beer, did 1 match and left... i won but nearly loose and i was like... shit i don't even feel like playing it right now. Yet give me some beers and it change completely. Same goes for parties and such, no beer im the shy guy in the corner just looking around. Gimme beer and im a chatterbox.

So to go back on escorts, i keep telling myself the same things, after i do one meeting, i tell myself "ok that was cool, your satisfy now, don't do it again until a few months" but if my money permit it... well... look at this summer... for the first time in years i had a steady job unlike my previous part time jobs, and i got 3 times in the summer, 2 girls at a time...

I guess it dosen't help that i look at a lot of porn every day, i never had a girlfriend since my adulthood(i had some in my teens, yet never had sex) and i guess porn became a solution for me, then strippers and finally when i learned about it, the escort scene. Now that i saw many hot as hell chicks, i guess its even worst for the girlfriend factor, cause before i was just shy, not im shy AND selective yet i should not be considering i aint what you would call attractive...

So well im hook on this like a junky... and honestly i fear i may end up having sex only this way for the rest of my life...

 

[Siocnarf]

shy AND selective

That is priceless. :lol: (not laughing at you by the way, but it is rather funny)

Don't feel bad. Some people end up having no sex at all. Or worse: with just the one wife.

I had a similar conundrum about beer and that's why I decided to lay off the booze and consolidate my spendings on escorts. When handled wisely, this hobby is not that much more expensive then any other one. I never tried collecting Picasso's or egyptian artifacts but I suppose it does not come cheap either. Some people just have an addictive personnality and they need professionnal help with their addiction. Unless they are lucky enough to meet a therapist who will love them for themselves and cure them for free.

 

[evillethings]

... So well im hook on this like a junky... and honestly i fear i may end up having sex only this way for the rest of my life...

you could change how you approach these sessions... instead of just meeting for FS and all the other fun stuff, take something else away from each session. seeing hot girls in the business should give you a confidence boost, not just a hard-on. then just translate that into your regular life and go meet some ladies. there's someone for everyone H-Mike! :thumb:

anyway, doesn't sound like you're addicted. just sounds like you like sex with cute girls.

 

[evillethings]

... Some people just have an addictive personnality and they need professionnal help with their addiction. Unless they are lucky enough to meet a therapist who will love them for themselves and cure them for free.

i agree with you on that first part but the last line about a therapist helping... not always and there's no silver bullet.

in fact seeing a therapist can be harmful to many ppl as you're relying on the opinion of 1 individual to validate or help you.
i've seen ppl who've been destroyed by therapy alone.
it does take some self control and awareness before a person to stop engaging in the addiction.

 

[Halloween Mike]

well evilethings, i pay good money for these sessions, and all, so of course i want my money to be worth it. This summer was special... i was able to come 1 time per 3 week or so, but usually it was more of a 1 time per 3 months. Now i may go back to that format so its at least that... but no these encounters don't give me a boost in confidence at all. As soon as the girl enter and confirm, i know whats gonna happen. Im talking to her and(specifcally a new girl i never saw) im just thinking "can't wait to start action" Sometimes i talk, take a break and im like "thats it" after saying what i do in life and what hobbies i have. It kinda mean "so were are done with the nessessary blabla" lets go into action" . In other words i know why she is there, i know whats gonna happen, and whatever she think of me, if she confirm it mean its gonna happen. Im not here to seduce her, interest her, and for all i care she can think what she want of me as long as during the session its good and the service is fine. Don't gett me wrong, i always try to be the best possible i can, but im not in the attractive class, and i know some of these girls will probably talk to there friend or fellow escorts co-workers later and mention "i hope next client is better looking, that one was fat" or whatever. I mean i wash to be super clean, i try to be the nicest i can, but im still a fat dude who pay girls to sleep with them and that they are miles above my league.

So goes back in real life... it aint my money that will get the girls(im not rich at all) and like i said if i find a girl unnatractive i will not make a move toward her, and the problem is, with years of porn, seeing escorts and such, my standards of "attractives" have got highter.

Worst thing and all is probably when i see a slim dude that i find "good looking"(not in a homo way, but you know what i mean, a guy can say another guy is good looking) and his girlfriend is barely attractive, even on the chubby side... a girl i would not even care to get... and that dude is looking a mile away better than me.... There sometimes even very fat girls, not just chubby, but really fat, who looks bigger than me(and even being fat, im still a tall dude with large shoulder, i just lack training right now so i got a "bedaine") and these girls get guys and/or have kids... and on ocasion there chum is not even that badly looking.

So in other words... im screwed cause the one that would interest me are out of my league and the ones in my league dosen't do anything for me. Not saying i would not want to be there friends, but in an attractive side of thing.

Guess my cousin was right when he said porn has dirt my mind and got me out of reality...