How to quit the Hobby/Addiction?

[latinbrother]

Sex is a drug

Erase,
I share your problem, for me sex is a drug and I realize I need it, I cannot quit, I have to deal with it and I don't want to quit. The hobbying is an escape to reality, a place to dream and enjoy pleasure. I realize that money was a problem at the beginning but also I feel motivated to work more and earn more, so I can reward myself every 2 or 3 weeks with a beautiful lady,
I like not only the sex but the fact to do something different and forbidden
excite more, even I feel like a secret agent calling from public phones, hidding information,inventing excuses, planning the sessions etc
My tip to control myself is when I'm horny and not money available I watch
a got porn movie and I spank the monkey. so I tell to myself I saved 200 box!!
and keep going.
I keep a record of every escorts encounter with my personal comments,
once in a while I reviewed and I realize that I had a lot and I have to stop, help for a couple of days.
The fact of being in Montreal surrounded with beautiful ladies does not help, and at summer with F1 and Nasquar events I become crazy !!
I understand your situation .
Cheers

 

[erase]

Thanks for the reply - I've kind of followed a similar pattern to you. I can stay away for a while, preventing things from really crashing down financially and otherwise. However I always go back, and usually before I build up enough of a financial cushion to make it a really wise idea.

After reading your post I did a rough calculation of all the encounters I can remember from the last 2 years. I came up with 38, and figure I probably spent around $7,500. This is kind of a scary number - it's not disastrous, but scary (and if enough other things go wrong it could be disastrous). It comes out to an average of 1.5 encounters per month, and about $300 spent per month on average. Yikes!! What was I thinking...

Please understand that I don't mean this to come off as preaching against the hobby - for many people this would be fine, remembering that it's over a period of a couple of years. However looking at my current financial situation I can't honestly say I wouldn't be better off having that money now or having at least used it for other things. On the other hand I can't pretend it would have all gone into a savings account...

Also some of the more astute among you may realize that, in spite of the 38 encounters mentioned above, I have not posted any reviews. I realize this is not very good MERB citizenship. However please understand that one of the things that made me realize that this is a *problem* for me was that after many encounters I felt a certain amount of guilt and depression. I usually stayed away from MERB from a while.

You may then ask what I'm doing here now - I'm not sure I know. I hope that writing this stuff is part of getting my situation together... maybe it's also of some value for others who want to consider the role the hobby is playing in their lives.

e

 

[footman]

When the hobby becomes a problem

Fellow hobbiest if you feel you are out of control & need to talk to a professional, I would suggest you get in contact with Dr. Marc Ravart who is a psycologist & sex therapy specialist. He is part of the Montreal General Hospital sexual addiction clinic. His fees are $110. per hour. Dr. Marc Ravart can be reached at (514)844-3363. His address is 600 Sherbrooke E. If anybody can help you, he certainly can.
Footman

 

[aReviewer]

Powerful drug

Sperm is a powerful and toxic drug. Our body wants us to get it out at all cost

a

 

[Ben Dover]

and if anyone wants to find out about all the hidden gems, atf's, girls who enjoy bbjtcim, greek, or whatever... Dr. Marc is your main man!!

 

[erase]

Fellow hobbiest if you feel you are out of control & need to talk to a professional, I would suggest you get in contact with Dr. Marc Ravart who is a psycologist & sex therapy specialist. He is part of the Montreal General Hospital sexual addiction clinic. His fees are $110. per hour. Dr. Marc Ravart can be reached at (514)844-3363. His address is 600 Sherbrooke E. If anybody can help you, he certainly can.
Footman

Thanks this sounds like a good resource - I googled his name and it certainly looks like he has a high profile in this area. I wonder if this kind of mental health stuff is covered by my employer's supplemental private insurance? My god that's almost as much as an SP Of course I also wish the SP's were covered... well I suppose if you count MP's they are, sort of.

Seriously, under some conditions this would be money well spent...

e

 

[erase]

One way i've found that was effective in controlling my urges was by not exercising (working out) anymore. Also forcing myself not to go to Mtl as often as i used to helped. When i used to exercise regularly last year or so, all i'd think about was sex-sex-sex.

Funny I've had exactly the same experience - exercise for me is a huge libido booster.

I'd be fighting my urges constantly & trying my best to find as many excuses as possible not to call any sps. A few weeks after i stopped my workouts, my libido went down considerably (to a normal level) and not having been to Mtl in over 3 months has kept my mind off the hobby.

I live here now - I was worried this would be a problem... and it is!

I also don't read the reviews section much anymore in order not to get tempted & try to stay in the Lounge section as much as possible.

This has been working for me - this thread has been kind of therapeutic and provides an alternative to the reviews. Thanks again to all posters.

Hobbying can still be fun & affordable when its being done moderately & by using common sense.

Yes I needed a dose of that - the problem with the addicted kind of thinking is that all logic and common sense go right out the window. This perverse kind of logic takes over where it just "makes sense" to blow your last $200 (and hours I can ill afford) on an SP. Actually it's not like it's really my last $200, but it might have been the last $200 I could easily hide. I was/have been engaging in a lot of "wishful thinking" about my finances - as mentioned earlier my cash flow is complex, with big payments coming in at unpredictable times. A lot in, and a lot out, with a healthy dose of credit. I have a positive net worth on paper, but if a few clients skip out on me I am hosed. I am trying very hard to stop this crap, and have had a few successes lately where a big load of $$$ came in and I resisted (or even better suppressed) the urge to spend a little bit of it on an SP. It's all gone to "sensible" things, which feels good.

I often see guys increasing their amount of trips to Mtl & bragging that they've been banging 2-3 sps a day every day & next thing you know, they disappear from the scene & people wonder what's happened to them. Eventually, no matter how much you're earning, you run out of funds & start getting into debt in order to feed your urges & obsession/compulsion with the hobby. It's no longer a hobby anymore & causing you more stress/problems than not. The best way to control these urges/temptations would be to avoid the boards altogether but for many people, this is even more difficult than decreasing the number of sps they see.

Scarey - I did not get to 2-3/day! 1-2 a month was plenty for me...

e

 

[karismatik]

The scary effect of hobbying for me is not only the money spent but the decrease in desire to meet a nice woman for a good relationship, the tiredness to go out and socialise, energy down, the empty bottle feeling
On the other hand we (the singles) only have 2 choices in instant sexual relief, your own boring hand or a phone call. To meet women in a bar for a one night stand is even worse. So where is the solution ? The lucky ones have "fuckfriends" and this is would be my prescription if I was a sex-therapist Classes 150$ p/hour.......

 

[hormone]

One way i've found that was effective in controlling my urges was by not exercising (working out) anymore. Also forcing myself not to go to Mtl as often as i used to helped. When i used to exercise regularly last year or so, all i'd think about was sex-sex-sex. I'd be fighting my urges constantly & trying my best to find as many excuses as possible not to call any sps. .

This is strange to me as I have noticed the exact contrary. The more I train, exercise regularly, the less I think about sex-sex-sex. I just think about... sex! Seriously, after a 130 km bike ride, or a few kms of swimming I don't really think about sex when I am single.

 

[erase]

Fell off the wagon

Ok - today I really convinced myself that I have a problem. I am sick.

Today, with some really critical time commitments, and no 'real' cash surplus, I hopped in the car and set up a date.

It's been a few weeks since the last one, and I was feeling good that I was avoiding it as it is really not a good time for me to indulge, given time and financial constraints.

Today I was stressed about other stuff, and just went on autopilot setting up the date even though it *really* screwed up my day (and will later screw up my week, and to a lesser extent my finances). I won't run out of money, but basically the day will come this month when it will take some creativity to "hide" todays expense from my wife. As much as it seemed like a good idea earlier today, the stress of this is becoming exhausting. I have become an expert at cutting things to the absolute limit in terms of time and money - I will get it done but the margin I leave gets thinner and thinner (and the results worse and worse, reliability suffering etc.)

One of the techniques recommended for gambling addicts is to put *all* money in a joint account where you just can't hide any spending. It sounds lame, but I might need to do this.

I think I'm going to call the dude mentioned in a previous post. I can't deal with this on my own, and it's going to seriously mess me up one day when my luck runs out. The guilt I felt after todays SP was unreal - classic addiction pattern (if I do say so myself).

Thanks again for the supportive posts and suggestions for professional help. Will let you know how it goes.

e

 

[Heynow]

Thank you

Hey guys,

I am glad to see this subject come up . Although I havn't read the whole thread with attention YET due to lack of energy. I will use every info I can for my well being later on. I am still recuperating from my numerous encounters this week and the hotel bills that will appear on my credit card shortly.

In my instance MERB has been a HUGE influence upon the frequency of my SP encounters lately. Many of these have not even been fully enjoyed because of the lack of planning on my part. The chemestry cannot be predicted. The mandatory GFE in the buisness is overrated. Rarely is it genuine.

Maybe this time the board will influence me in the other direction.

Turning your weekness into strength is the best way out. All the money spent, all the loans, the risks... May they return something positive. Maybe working for an agency or even oppening one is a way to be above the hobby and to erase the temptation. Once you see the girls you'd realize wich ones are worth the ride. The stress of trying every SP in an effort to find that magical encounter is becoming absurd.

Peace


I hope this makes sense...

 

[erase]

Hi -

I am glad to see this subject come up . Although I havn't read the whole thread with attention YET due to lack of energy. I will use every info I can for my well being later on. I am still recuperating from my numerous encounters this week and the hotel bills that will appear on my credit card shortly.

This totally mirrors my pattern - it's like some program is activated in my brain and, regardless of the consequences, I'm just going to "do it".

In my instance MERB has been a HUGE influence upon the frequency of my SP encounters lately. Many of these have not even been fully enjoyed because of the lack of planning on my part. The chemestry cannot be predicted. The mandatory GFE in the buisness is overrated. Rarely is it genuine.

This is also my experience. It's like I'm looking to recreate something extremely specific, which does not necessarily even have anything to do with the looks or skills of the girl. Chemistry is everything, but of course it's very hard to create real chemistry in one hour (and time and financial constraints on my end have limited things to one hour). I *have* had a small number of really mind-blowing encounters, where there was a real connection. However more often than not (through no fault of the girl's, obviously) it just wasn't there and that's where the crushing guilt comes in (i.e. I just blew $200 and an afternoon and maybe a bunch of hours scouring the web and waffling over what to do and who to call - it's bloody exhausting).

Maybe this time the board will influence me in the other direction.

I've had one encounter (mentioned above) since starting this thread and I really regretted it because it was at a really stupid time for me. It's not that I have a problem with the general idea of the hobby, just how I've been participating.

Turning your weekness into strength is the best way out. All the money spent, all the loans, the risks... May they return something positive. Maybe working for an agency or even oppening one is a way to be above the hobby and to erase the temptation. Once you see the girls you'd realize wich ones are worth the ride. The stress of trying every SP in an effort to find that magical encounter is becoming absurd.

That's an interesting idea, but I don't think I'll go that route. You hit the nail on the head though - it's like an endless gambling spree trying to find the perfect, magical encounter. It is indeed absurd.

I am a sex addict - for me escorts are like heroin, and spanking the monkey for two hours on internet porn is the methadone. The latter saves a lot of money and a little time, but it still is a problem (if I add up all the hours).

Peace

Likewise - thanks for the quote and good luck.

e

 

[monsieur]

sex addiction

Hey there,

Good to read you ! A lot of what you wrote mirrored my situation. I also wake up in the morning with this "urge". I work by myself (got no boss), so sometimes i can spend the whole day in front of the computer, checking out reviews. And I've only met an SP once ! I'm usually more into MPs.

I fight the addiction much the same way you do: i beat off and think "good ! i saved 200$", or I do something else like visit friends and such, but eventually, the urge becomes too big and i gotta go. This is often a spontaneous gesture: I'll go wherever is opened. Oh and I'm single, btw. Good-looking, I can get girls if I want... But MPs are so easier !

I don't exercize much so I think going to the gym could maybe vent my mind a little (contrary to what other MERBites' experiences are).

But don't you go thinking money (or lack of) is a symptom of the problem. If you're a millionaire, then you might never realize you have such a problem. I think one has a sex addiction when all they can do is think about it.

A good way to solve this problem is either to see a specialist, or be strong and find yourself another hobby so you think about something else. But I think it's pretty much like smoking: you can't just "lower" the frequencies of your encounter. And even if you do, did you lower the amount of time you spend THINKING about possible encounters ??? I don't think so... So if you gotta stop, don't think about coming back, IMHO...

 

[Mr_Happy]

erase: I am in the same boat. I am married with problems, a huge stress load at work with 60+ hours a week on salary (not a penny extra)with so many other things going on socially and financially in my life.

I opened an account with a line of credit to use for these encounters to keep it hidden from the wife. Over time, well i just dont want to think about how much i have spent. I dont drink, do drugs, smoke, gamble or anything like that. I am however sex addicted. I think the wife knows of my ways, because i always ask for some, but im lucky if she is in the mood once a month.

I fantasize about the girls i have met, and going to meet from the posts on here. I am like others spanking the monkey and thinking i have just saved some money, since im not rich by any means. I even do this daily even more than once.

But I love the sex.... I love the new girls every time... I love the new tricks i learn with them.... Right now even talking about it i long for some action... I know I am addicted, but I dont know how i would cope with my life without the hour of ecstasy. and for that hour, it is pure ecstasy for me as long as it is with the right girl, and merb has helped me find many.

Even as a young kid, i was extremely horny from a young age, always wanting. I kept it to real gf's, and friends until i spent some time in thailand.... Then after experiences with amazing girls, even many at once, it made me to start to p4p and the excitement around it.

Sometimes after a meeting, i feel bad. Mostly about money, sometimes the "what if" i would catch something, even though i do play safe. I wonder if I am a bad person/spouse/parent for doing this, maybe i am maybe im not. But i really dont know how I would release all the built up sexual energy. Some of the excitement is the hiding it, planning it, driving there feeling like a kid on xmas eve.... and i love it, i love knocking on the door awaiting the big surprise.... and for that hour or so everything in a blur of lust.

I dont know why i am putting this on here, it does feel a little better to get it off my chest. sometimes i want my wife to find out, maybe to get me on track, maybe to help me with my needs more i dont know.

I do understand that this is a addiction. I have friends who pay more for the rush of extreme sports, with just as much risk or more, and are happy with it. then again maybe im just justifying it to myself.

erase, and others like you, you are not alone. Maybe a merb meeting for those who would like to talk about these issues might be an idea, like a AA meeting. A forum in bangkok had meetings once a month or so, but after they had many girls there for any needs..... Wow, i really cant get them out of my head.... I love pussy and the excitement around it. I crave it and need it, just like a drug..... I have been like this for over 15 years, and dont know how to get rid of it, or if i should. You are not alone.

 

[gambler]

set a date

First thing is to set a date in the future mine is today set 45 days ago, to get off internet porn chat sites. Hope I can do it because this life seems to be a bad path. Going to keep on with MPs, at least there human and theriputic. But wont get cought up in the progression of CBJ to to CIMFIA to GFE, to DFK etc etc... I was succesful stopping drugs and alcohol with the dysfunctioal family therory but this is going to be hard I know it.

Allow me to recall stopping drugs New Years 15 years ago, after getting drunk headed downtown to c SW and spun out in the Villa Maria tunnel so lucky no accident, then pick up a real babe around St. Laurent, those were the days, blonde great tits so freindly guess I`d like to meet someone like her again.

The problem with this is that I havent suffered like with the other addictions. ie. Drinking got so sick and in so much physical pain all I have to do is remember lying in bed with a new level of pain in my throat and no problem dont need that again. Or having a hash cold being sick all the time. When I think back on sex addiction well it sort of gets me horney.

What to do when I`m borred and lonely out of my mind.

Bad spelling, well I was fantacizing way back in grade school during class. My neighbours mother wore her sweaters so spetacularly with long bushy dirty red hair full lips voluptious figure.

What do I want? A good wholesome relationship and or peace and contentment.

Shy with Angziety and erotic memories

Day one, I`m here not at asiancamodels.com

Dont belive I`ll make it.

Happy New Year and I am so glade 2007 is history.

 

[latinbrother]

An alternative solution is to become member of forums like lavalife of reseaucontact where you can fish and have free sex. Takes time and patiente is like hunting, one of my friends do it all the time and he has free an
authentic sex, the problem is that you won't have the 18-25 year old girls that we are used to have with the escorst agencies. The preys are around mid 30's, they are desesperate to meet a man, the trick here is to go directly to the point, propose only to have sex, nothing else, no dinner, no cinema no dates, nothing. Set the rules. I don't do it because is a dangerous game for me and I could make costly mistakes

 

[erase]

Good to read you ! A lot of what you wrote mirrored my situation. I also wake up in the morning with this "urge". I work by myself (got no boss), so sometimes i can spend the whole day in front of the computer, checking out reviews. And I've only met an SP once ! I'm usually more into MPs.

I think that, as you say, "unstructured" jobs are particularly dangerous for guys like us, who are prone to getting sucked into the hobby. I've only tried a couple of MP's - it ranged from bad to great, and I did appreciate the somewhat lower cost.

I fight the addiction much the same way you do: i beat off and think "good ! i saved 200$"...

I'm usually happy about saving the $200, but the time spent beating off with porn is sometimes almost as bad as the money spent would have been.

or I do something else like visit friends and such, but eventually, the urge becomes too big and i gotta go. This is often a spontaneous gesture: I'll go wherever is opened. Oh and I'm single, btw. Good-looking, I can get girls if I want... But MPs are so easier !

As I mentioned before, I am actually married - I am carrying a *big* risk in doing this stuff. I sometimes have opportunities to have "real" affairs, but in a way this would be more dangerous and I have avoided it (ironically part of my rationalization for the hobby - less messy than a "real" relationship, although in a way that's what I suppose I'm seeking).

But don't you go thinking money (or lack of) is a symptom of the problem. If you're a millionaire, then you might never realize you have such a problem. I think one has a sex addiction when all they can do is think about it.

You are absolutely right that it's not just the money - the thing that really makes this a problem for me is that I am having encounters when the most basic common sense would tell you it's a Really Bad Idea. This could be because of the time spent, the money, or the effect on relationships.

A good way to solve this problem is either to see a specialist, or be strong and find yourself another hobby so you think about something else. But I think it's pretty much like smoking: you can't just "lower" the frequencies of your encounter. And even if you do, did you lower the amount of time you spend THINKING about possible encounters ??? I don't think so... So if you gotta stop, don't think about coming back, IMHO...

I will probably try to see someone about this - you mention a really good point that, even if you aren't going out and having encounters, just the fact that you're *thinking* about sex all the time can still be a problem. There are times when I am thinking about it and it's really not appropriate.

Ironically I ended up giving up most of the other hobbies I had because my wife is so controlling of every second of my time that it was just not worth the endless fights - the irony is that, since hobbying is kind of a secret thing, it's the one area she can't control (yet).

e

 

[erase]

erase: I am in the same boat. I am married with problems, a huge stress load at work with 60+ hours a week on salary (not a penny extra)with so many other things going on socially and financially in my life.

Hey Mr Happy, welcome to the thread!

I opened an account with a line of credit to use for these encounters to keep it hidden from the wife. Over time, well i just dont want to think about how much i have spent. I dont drink, do drugs, smoke, gamble or anything like that. I am however sex addicted. I think the wife knows of my ways, because i always ask for some, but im lucky if she is in the mood once a month.

Dude - I should not be giving any advice, but the one really important principle regarding money in this is *don't* start borrowing to support this habit (or gambling or whatever). Once you get to this point, especially if you're married, it can really be the road to disaster. I've crossed this line a few times, but not too bad. I think the rule (IMHO) has to be that you only set up a date if the following conditions are met:

1) you are paying for it with money you already have
2) the payment won't prevent you from paying any upcoming bills or expenses
3) you are not carrying any substantial credit card balances (otherwise you should put the money on the card - spending it on an SP is just like borrowing it in this case)

I'll admit I've violated these rules myself in the past, but am going to try to stick to them if I can.

I fantasize about the girls i have met, and going to meet from the posts on here. I am like others spanking the monkey and thinking i have just saved some money, since im not rich by any means. I even do this daily even more than once.

Likewise - I expect that if a lot of people knew how many guys were like us they'd be quite freaked out.

But I love the sex.... I love the new girls every time... I love the new tricks i learn with them.... Right now even talking about it i long for some action... I know I am addicted, but I dont know how i would cope with my life without the hour of ecstasy. and for that hour, it is pure ecstasy for me as long as it is with the right girl, and merb has helped me find many.

I hear you - on those occasions when things click, it is an awesome experience. In thinking about going "cold turkey" the thing that surprises me is how *sad* I feel to contemplate giving it up entirely.

Sometimes after a meeting, i feel bad. Mostly about money, sometimes the "what if" i would catch something, even though i do play safe. I wonder if I am a bad person/spouse/parent for doing this, maybe i am maybe im not. But i really dont know how I would release all the built up sexual energy. Some of the excitement is the hiding it, planning it, driving there feeling like a kid on xmas eve.... and i love it, i love knocking on the door awaiting the big surprise.... and for that hour or so everything in a blur of lust.

I have been feeling worse and worse after my encounters - I will try not to have anymore until the conditions I mentioned above are all met. The whole "secret mission" thing is indeed exciting. As I mentioned to a previous poster, it's kind of like the one part of my life that's still really "mine".

I dont know why i am putting this on here, it does feel a little better to get it off my chest. sometimes i want my wife to find out, maybe to get me on track, maybe to help me with my needs more i dont know.

Sounds corny, but it always seems to help to know that you're not the only one in whatever situation. BTW the one thing I am pretty sure about is that I do *not* want my wife to find out (picture: divorce, losing kids, public humiliation, etc. etc.).

I do understand that this is a addiction. I have friends who pay more for the rush of extreme sports, with just as much risk or more, and are happy with it. then again maybe im just justifying it to myself.

It's like anything I suppose - I like a glass of wine, but only have one or two drinks a week and no desire to have more. For me, drinking is fine. But for a real alcoholic it's disaster. There are surely degrees of addiction, and I don't want to go from problem to utter ruin.

erase, and others like you, you are not alone. Maybe a merb meeting for those who would like to talk about these issues might be an idea, like a AA meeting. A forum in bangkok had meetings once a month or so, but after they had many girls there for any needs..... Wow, i really cant get them out of my head.... I love pussy and the excitement around it. I crave it and need it, just like a drug..... I have been like this for over 15 years, and dont know how to get rid of it, or if i should. You are not alone.

The meeting idea is cool - should let this percolate for a while to figure out how to manage the obvious concerns about confidentiality etc.

Good luck keeping it all together,

e

 

[erase]

First thing is to set a date in the future mine is today set 45 days ago, to get off internet porn chat sites. Hope I can do it because this life seems to be a bad path. Going to keep on with MPs, at least there human and theriputic. But wont get cought up in the progression of CBJ to to CIMFIA to GFE, to DFK etc etc... I was succesful stopping drugs and alcohol with the dysfunctioal family therory but this is going to be hard I know it.

One of the things I got addicted to years ago, and got off, were these phone chat lines where you could supposedly call to talk to other singles. This was *deadly*! I got so sucked in, and was thinking about it or on the phone all the time. There were heavy per minute rates (not for trolling - just for actual conversations) and I racked up a (for me at the time) big-ass credit card balance. Of course the whole concept was a complete rip - don`t know if there were any real girls on it (as opposed to hired shills to keep guys like me paying). Really quite stupid, since I could have had loads of SP encounters for the dough I laid out. Still, the idea of a ``real`` encounter for me could still trump a paid SP deal, but this is a dangerous fantasy.

Allow me to recall stopping drugs New Years 15 years ago, after getting drunk headed downtown to c SW and spun out in the Villa Maria tunnel so lucky no accident, then pick up a real babe around St. Laurent, those were the days, blonde great tits so freindly guess I`d like to meet someone like her again.

Congrats on getting off the drugs. Interesting story - glad nobody was hurt...

The problem with this is that I havent suffered like with the other addictions. ie. Drinking got so sick and in so much physical pain all I have to do is remember lying in bed with a new level of pain in my throat and no problem dont need that again. Or having a hash cold being sick all the time. When I think back on sex addiction well it sort of gets me horney.

The time during which I ``disappear`` is what`s making me suffer, but that`s my situation.

Day one, I`m here not at asiancamodels.com

Dont belive I`ll make it.

Happy New Year and I am so glade 2007 is history.

Thanks and good luck - like me, you should consider seeing a mental health pro.

e

 

[erase]

An alternative solution is to become member of forums like lavalife of reseaucontact where you can fish and have free sex. Takes time and patiente is like hunting, one of my friends do it all the time and he has free an
authentic sex, the problem is that you won't have the 18-25 year old girls that we are used to have with the escorst agencies. The preys are around mid 30's, they are desesperate to meet a man, the trick here is to go directly to the point, propose only to have sex, nothing else, no dinner, no cinema no dates, nothing. Set the rules. I don't do it because is a dangerous game for me and I could make costly mistakes

Interesting idea - this is dangerous for me though. As I mentioned above, I got really addicted to phone chat and adultfriendfinder-like "singles" sites a while ago. Realized it is a very expensive and completely fraudulent ripoff. Compared to these (and my experience was a while ago - the sites you mention might be better), spending money on SP's seems almost responsible! I can't remember the name, but the phone chat line I used had big advertisements in the Montreal Mirror. It was a total rip and I stupidly spent loads of $$$ for zero actual encounters.

Nonetheless the sex addict in me is curious - for me these sites would have to meet three requirements:

1) actually be real, with real girls posting (not just fake shills)
2) provide some degree of anonymity
3) not be extortionately priced

I should probably avoid... I am curious - why do you say it's a dangerous game?

Thanks though,

e