How to quit the Hobby/Addiction?

[Slippery]

Star-Man- Impressive realization. The research is with you. Critical thinking/ judgement takes the longest to fully develop, and those parts of the brain do continue developing (becoming more wired, lets say) through early 20's, these days. Probably why college students act so foolishly (can't explain the rest of us).

While I'm throwing in my psychologist knowledge, couple more things for the record:
Gambler and Erase - Paxil is actually often prescribed to decrease obsessive compulsive behavior these days. No reason why it should increase it. Only thing coming to mind is that these kinds of new antidepressants can be very activating in general. Able to do more when on them than when in a total slump.
The SP thing does seem like a quick fix, and those of us with mild or not so mild mood issues are more susceptible to needing/benefiting from the quick fix. Some people seem to have a higher threshold for stimulation, need more to keep their attention, and can't be satisfied easily with the monotony of everyday life. ADHD. Perhaps Erase said this, but ADHD and mood issues are highly correlated in the general population. For people with ADHD, like myself and probably most merbites, things are not as reinforcing for them in general, and reinforcers extinguish quickly. Erase made a good point about difficulties in working towards things requiring delayed gratification. Classic ADHD. Can be feuled by experiences. In my opinion, kids not learning as well in school these days is probably related to hours spent in high-stimulation screen activities (TV, electronic games). This stuff renders their teachers a duller version of Charlie Brown's teacher than ever. Most kids would rather play Wii than fight the elements playing a real game of baseball outside. So what we do (indulge) can certainly exacerbate what our genetics (ADHD) dictate. Back to drugs. No reason Paxil should make things worse, and given the side effects, may even help a sex addiction. Stimulants for ADHD may or may not help. The Harvard Mental Health Letter says some drugs, like Wellbutrin and BuSpar may actually increase desire, so may want to stay away from those. What about finding a partner who loves sex and refuses to let it get old? Easier said than done, I suppose. And perhaps sex with a spouse will always get old (?). Wish I could find someone who's not found that to be true.

 

[Slippery]

Most of these Montreal escorts probably have a lot of fun in their jobs (does seem fun). But even those who don't enjoy it so much probably have learned to enjoy it, by necessity. Guess you don't need to feel bad for her!

 

[minotaur24]

A good question

Hello Star-man, your question about the girls is definitely an issue. I used to feel terrible about their side of the situation and I generally overtip or tip very heavily because I feel, perhaps rather an old-fashioned idea, that what I'm paying for is for a person to give me something that has hidden costs for her, and I feel I should pay more than the "going rate". On the other hand, I don't frequent high priced escorts - first I can't afford it and second, well, the market is the market. I can get what I need for less than that. A contradiction, perhaps, but who ever said that a human being has to be contradiction free?

Over the years, I've come to believe that we are all responsible for our own actions, no matter what social pressures are in play as well. Women who have been abused or who are drug addicts may turn to prostitution because they see this as "normal", but they are still responsible for these choices. Not all women who have been abused become escorts. And not all escorts are sexually abused women. We do these things because we are who we are, whether we are "john" or SW. It gets too messy to try to take responsability for the choices that other people make.

That said, I've been with SW who have a really crappy attitude. I don't like it, and I don't go back, but I do give them the benefit of the doubt. It seems to me to be a metier with hidden costs, but then, my "hobbying" also has hidden costs, as the discussion here highlights.

 

[erase]

Gambler and Erase - Paxil is actually often prescribed to decrease obsessive compulsive behavior these days. No reason why it should increase it. Only thing coming to mind is that these kinds of new antidepressants can be very activating in general. Able to do more when on them than when in a total slump.

This was a really interesting and insightful post! For one thing, I don't want to suggest that anyone should necessarily avoid medication for depression or ADHD if they come to that decision with their psychiatrist (I know it's sometimes hard to see specialists in QC, but please try to see a psychiatrist for this and not get the meds from a GP if you have a complex situation like a lot of us probably do). One thing I've heard reported is that some of the serotinergic drugs (a lot of the antidepressants) can trigger manic behaviour in individuals who are susceptible. But that's up to your psychiatrist and you... and you still might be better off overall with the meds, just to realize that if you get the right trigger it could be easier to go into a binging mode. To generalize, I think binging can happen in two sorts of situations: the first is when you're in a kind of 'deficit state', where you are feeling down and need to cheer yourself up. Antidepressants will probably help avoid this. The second vulnerable situation is when you're in a 'surplus state', like you just got a bunch of money or had some success and you want to celebrate. It's possible that some antidepressants could make you more prone to the celebratory binging... I think the latter could also be true of drugs for ADHD, which tend as Slippery says to be stimulatory.

Just my speculation though - not medical advice and all that stuff. Questions to ask a psychiatrist (which I am not) if you are considering these drugs.

e

 

[erase]

learned to enjoy it by necessity, reminds me of soldiers who sort of get used to killing people after 5 or 6. Doesn't seem so bad.

It's not that I need to feel bad for her its like I'm wondering if its more like a brain washing after your in it for a while.

I know she was sad to start and was only going to do it for a week, so, is it just way better than expected, or do they get desenceitized???

I think comparing with soldiers killing is a stretch - it's not in the same league in terms of the emotional trauma involved (some might argue but I think that's nuts; sex = killing?!?). I also think there aren't many jobs that don't involve some kind of brainwashing at a certain level... not that this is bad. You just start to identify yourself as part of a community and look at things the way people in your line of work do.

If she's sad, she should quit. If she's ok with it, I would suggest she needs to keep some long term goals in mind. I've met girls (escorts) ranging from fairly simple types who (to be blunt) probably weren't going to go that far in another walk of life, to very bright university students, to savvy businesswomen who had made a good life out of this. Rarely I did sense that someone had been traumatized and yes, this is very upsetting.

To me it sounds great that you're considering her perspective, but I wouldn't beat myself up too much.

e

 

[erase]

Gangs and/or human trafficking?

I'm still very curious about one question I asked earlier -

Has anyone ever heard any concrete evidence suggesting that any of the escorts we've written about here is controlled by a street gang or is a victim of human trafficking?

You hear all the time (on the news) about street gangs whose activities 'include prostitution'. Is this just bad reporting? Where are these girls? (not that I'm interested in being a client).

You can PM me if the info is too sensitive - I can offer my word (for what that's worth on the internet) that I won't forward the info. Just for my own personal knowledge I'd like to know (and no, I'm not law enforcement).

Also - maybe out of respect for the operators and users of MERB this is just not the place to discuss this level of illegality (at least not openly) for any number of reasons. On the other hand if there's bad sh*t like this going on it would seem a shame to ignore it.

e

 

[erase]

I'm not saying its the same as killing, not even close, I just meant you can get use to anything, like a surgeon is used to blood but a first day med stufent is probably going to pass out. maybe thats a better comparison.

Sorry if it sounded like I was saying you were equating the two - I know you weren't.

The brainwashing thing is because i've heard some very similar language from a couple of people and i don't know, seemed weird.

The med school analogy is a really good one - it's a subculture where members do stuff that's outside the realm of everyday experience... one could argue that few professions are as brainwashed as doctors (listen to any resident for about 30 seconds). Again I'm not saying that this kind of brainwashing is bad, or mean to disparage physicians. It's just that there's very strong indoctrination (probably a better word for it than brainwashing - both for physicians and escorts).

Hearing very similar language in describing the field is very typical - that being said I'll bet you could also find escorts (and physicians, and soldiers) who could provide unique and eloquent perspectives on their profession. Probably these would be the ones who are more mature and have been at it for a while.

Just my $.02

e

 

[hungry101]

I'm still very curious about one question I asked earlier -

Has anyone ever heard any concrete evidence suggesting that any of the escorts we've written about here is controlled by a street gang or is a victim of human trafficking?

You hear all the time (on the news) about street gangs whose activities 'include prostitution'. Is this just bad reporting? Where are these girls? (not that I'm interested in being a client).

You can PM me if the info is too sensitive - I can offer my word (for what that's worth on the internet) that I won't forward the info. Just for my own personal knowledge I'd like to know (and no, I'm not law enforcement).

Also - maybe out of respect for the operators and users of MERB this is just not the place to discuss this level of illegality (at least not openly) for any number of reasons. On the other hand if there's bad sh*t like this going on it would seem a shame to ignore it.

e

I have wondered this myself. In another thread in the lounge (that was deleted by the author) I said that I was fairly certain that the girls that I was seeing were not forced or coherced into this line of work. They seemed to come and go as they please and were fired for the same reasons as anyone else would get fired...poor reliability and poor service etc. Most of the girls had a day job - teacher, registered nurse, auto mechanic, a travel agent - or were students. Heck I even met an Indy MILF with a husband and 3 kids that she was sending to Catholic school. She and her husband were swingers. I ended up talking to her husband on the phone for a 1/2 hr when his wife was late for our appointment. Kind of weird but it takes all kinds.

A few of the MERB members thought that the number of girls that were forced into prostitution was quite high. The good news is that everyone participating in the thread believed that the agencies - the Eleganzas, Devilishs, Xxxtase etc. - were not the ones forcing the girls to work. They believed it was the gang banger boyfriends. On the one hand, I was releived to know that my favorite agencies were not forcing anyone to work against their will. On the other hand, if the problem was the agencies it would be a lot easier to spot and fix. If there are gang banger boyfreinds acting as pimps and abusing and threatening these girls to work, this is a little more insideous and harder to solve.

I maintain that in the professional world that I live in there are many stay-at-home husbands that enjoy watching TV on the coach and playing golf all day while their wives work. I asked how is this any different for SPs with lazy boy friends?. The answer was that the girls are threatened with violence if they don't work. We never did settle this but if this is happening I am very troubled that I am contributing to this and I do not think that it should be ignored.

One poster said that 90% of the girls were forced into working against their will. How could this be? My annecdotal evidence begs to differ. But these are liberals that have degrees in the social sciences and subscribe to books that are written by man hating feminists that place the white male behind every evil known on earth.

 

[erase]

I have wondered this myself. In another thread in the lounge (that was deleted by the author) I said that I was fairly certain that the girls that I was seeing were not forced or coherced into this line of work.

Thanks for the post - sorry I missed your lounge post. I'm trying to stay away. Gotta run now, but I'm still curious about this issue. Sounds like you really got a lot of insight into the backgrounds of the women you met. I never met an RN!

e

 

[erase]

Hey, my affliction made CNN!

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/09/05/sex.addiction/index.html

Things have improved a lot, but the article hits home.

e

 

[hungry101]

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/09/05/sex.addiction/index.html

Things have improved a lot, but the article hits home.

e

I read the article and took the SAST and scored a 12. And no I was never abused. I must be tht rare 20% that was not abused as a kid.

 

[erase]

Very sad story

This caught my eye via the link in "The Lounge"

https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=39783

Anybody who is having problems as discussed in this thread would do well to read it. It`s in French with an English translation somewhere.

Stay well,

e

 

[hungry101]

"Your answers HAVE MET a score on basis of six the criteria that indicate sex addiction is present."

Got a 10. I wonder how many girls here are sex-addicts

JAG

Juzt_a_girl, Maybe you and I can meet for some group therapy next time I'm in town. But I know its a problem....I'm tyoing on a web site at 2:35PM when ishould be sleeiping arent I?

 

[gambler]

addiction

"Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of whisley in my milk it couldn't hurt me on a full stomach. I ordered a whiskey and poured it into the milk. I vagulely sensed I was not being too smart, but felt reassured as I was taking the whiskey on a full stomach." The experiment went so well that I ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk. That didn't seem to bother me so I tried another."

He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic. Yet all reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk.

Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain insanity. How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight, be called anything else?
Alcoholic Anonymous 3rd edition

Be forewarend if you use this method the 12 step is as important as the first. You may be in a contract with a power greater than yourself who requiers you to multiply your talents. Also watch out for satan (revelations
chapter 12 line 17) and I'll tell you he'll come so quick you wont believe it.

 

[Cliff Nobles]

I didn`t read every posts but I also have trouble at stopping this hobby. Its a very long story. There probably a lot of error since my English is not perfect and I never typed so much in 1 post.

How should I starts... well its started when I was around 6~7 years old. My brother show me some porn magazine and my bed was in the living room, so sometime my brother watched softcore porn on TV and go back to his room to sleep and forget to close the TV. While the light of the TV wake me up and well I get to watch it. That`s when I started liking curves and get easily distracted by girls.

During High School, when I got my computer, I found that my brother downloaded porn on it and its made me started searching for my own pictures and videos. I also started having a habit of masturbating like each day, which still happen today. Then when I was 16 years old, I bought my first porn Magazine since the guy was sure I was 18 years old and just told me to just be sure to be not caught, since he also let me buy beers.

Since I bought my first magazine, I started visiting multiple stores to start collecting and eventually bought my first VHS, which started my taste for videos over pictures. But that also when I realised I got a addiction to porn, since with all the magazine and videos I bought was more than 100$ and those were money for dinners at school. Every time I watched a VHS and came, I cut the tape and threw the VHS cassette hoping its will help but it didn`t.

When I was 18 years old, while I had female friends, they all had boyfriend and I respected their fidelity and well I never had a girlfriend since I am always shy to talk to a girl I find attractive or a complete stranger. But I wanted to experience sex since when I look at porn, its great because of all the moaning and orgasm even thought I was aware of the acting. So I thought sex with or without affection/love/connection should be the same. Which I was wrong.

So since I wanted to experience sex, I tried to find escorts but I had no clue where to find them. I started in a place called ``Studio XXX`` and had a private dance. It was 40$ for minutes but only watching and caressing if I paid 20$ more. I don`t know why but I paid a second session immediately after, I guess its was because I find the girl pretty and was also my first time having a naked woman in front of me. When I left, I was disapointed and almost no money left.

Then I heard Massage Parlor, tried it, paid 120$ I think for Thai. Left disapointed again... then it was Strip Club, had a Contact Dance, well the stripper was very kind, we get in conversation where I never had a Girlfriend and she was suprised and that I was shy to see a girl. She then gave me advice and stuff. We were into our conversation that she forgot to warn me in which song we were at. It was the fourth song and 40$ but I only had 25$ but she was ok with it because we both forgot about the musics.

Talked a little bit again after and left. Even thought I wanted to see her again and talk, I decided to not go back to a strip club. Then I hear about escorts but ask some info in a porn board which lead me here. I was still confused about the services and asked many questions. Started reading reviews and went on my first experience.

My first experience was disapointing again. I could had refused her when I saw her but I didn`t want to make her feel bad so I stayed. Older than the age mentioned, no emotion on face, no affection. I just felt not loved/liked again.

Then I read a review about escort with GFE experience, I found one and went to see her. Well... all her ``GFE`` were extra like kissing 20$, 40$, Anal 60$, TC 60$. I blindly paid all that except anal thinking she will be like a girlfriend with me... which wasn`t. Her face look like she was addict to drug and seeing how much she loved the money I gave her, I felt she loved the money more than me. No emotion on her face during the intercourse, which me made feel like I was forcing her to do something she didn`t like, which is a turn off for me.

Then I panicked and thought I got something because of my first . So I went to a clinic to test and explained to the nurse. Who introduced me to the sexologist. Since then we had many meetings, explaining my past and all. She came in conclusion that I am looking for love, a serious relationship, not just sex. And that my sex addiction was influenced in my past and that when I feel sad and lonely, that I use porn as a relief or something. While she tried to help me, my habit didn`t change.

I did see a third escort, I wouldn`t say disappointed because she didn`t stare at me emotionless. She was a kind woman, even if she was shy and not very social. But still enjoyed talking to her. Then I decided that stop that hobby.

Then the sexologist introduced me to a psychologist. hoping that she would be more successful. Explained her everything and concluded I am depressed. Then I tried meeting people throught Craigslist and Meeting site. But no results.

After like 4 months not seeing a escort. I visited the board to see what new and read a positive review. So I went to see her but I guess she was YMMW. My experience wasn`t that great either.

Then I tried a Independant after reading some very positive reviews. Very disapointed, spend 200$ for the first time, wasn`t GFE at all, tried to have a conversation but she show that she didn`t care and we pretty much stay silent.

Then I went to my psychologist who asked for specialist to interview me. Which I did and still concluded that I am depressive. So I went to see my doctor who been following me with the psychologist and sexologist and recommended my anti-depressive pills.

The doctor is in vacation now but a new one replace her. She didn`t gave it yet because she wanted to know me more before giving the pills, so she could compare me before and after taking the pills.

I used to have like 3000$ and its now like 200$, I started going back to school to finish my high school french and join a professional school for computer. I am having a hard time regaining all the money because I keep struggling to not see another escort or pay porn related stuff. I also started collection figurines and got addicted to it too, so its not all the sex/porn fault.

Since I have no job and never manage to get one. My mother give me money, 30$ each week for dinner at school. But I rarely eat the dinner so I can save them and regain my money. But as said before, I have trouble keeping the money. Now I am almost not social, unmotivated but that`s something else related in my past. No matter how hard I try to stop this hobby or watch porn, I just can`t stop it.

While I still have a good friend who stick with me since Primary School. Seeing the same person every week, start getting boring especially when he spend the whole day in front of his computer. Sometimes he even forget I am in his house...

Because I lost my motivation, I never work at school and I used to do muscle-building in a gym but since my membership expired and I didn`t had the money to renew it, I stop. Lost my motivation to continue it at my house. I even started to be bored of everything I liked to do like playing video games, walk outside (mostly because I am walking alone) and visit my friend. And the death of my father in April definetely didn`t help.

Right now, I don`t really know what to do. I made a appointment with my doctor next Monday and see what will happen.

Damm Simon i feel for you man!

I know what it is, i`ve been thru that and i`m still fighting the addiction.
I use to have a good job and every weekend spend $200 on escorts, massage, sonas, internet porn....you name it.

I even got robbed.

I think we live in a world of temptations. And i think man is not always in total control of himself and his thoughts even though he`s sane. That`s the scary part. The only thing helping us is our conscience.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_addiction

 

[Jack_Bauer]

Damm Simon i feel for you man!

...

Yeah, me too. It's odd that Simon would share this kind of information on a site that is dedicated to help "hobbysts" but it is a cry for help nonetheless and should not be dismissed. Ultimately the answer (as lame as it sounds) lies within. This is no hobby but an endeavor that can involve laying our feelings bare. If too much is expected from any given session or interaction, it can lead to self-doubt and frustration. Bottom line, it's a paying service. I once read that providers "cum twice" on any given encounter -- once when you pay them, and the second time when you get the hell out of their face and leave their premises. If you think about it, they're no different than any other personal service. Escort/massage services are the last place where one should be looking for intimacy, on the level that Simon appears to be aspiring to. But, the fact of not finding it in those services, will probably eventually lead him to someone who will love him and accept him unconditionally for who he is and his ability to love someone back. He needs a relationship. Sometimes you need to find rejection in several circles, to be able to get to the next step and find someone who like Simon, values a personal and continuous relationship that is not solely predicated on the exchange of money for sexual services.

Simon, it's a business like any other. It serves its purpose if you don't have expectations that are too high. You're dealing with fallible human beings who are trying to make a living and who most likely, are not even all that sexual. I would guess that most of them ended up in the "hobby" (I hate that word, it's like building toy airplanes with genitalia glued at both ends) for all the wrong reasons, or perhaps, because their own dreams never materialized. Or grew up in abusive environments. Had jerks for parents. Or whatever other curve life has dealt them.

Simon, for all you know, all the girls that have "let you down" are fucked up beyond repair or even hope. You should be thanking them for having allowed you to pierce the illusion of a perfect, plastic sexual encounter without blemishes, by allowing you a taste of their own bitterness. The good news? You're just a little of out money, which you'll make back through hard work. And staying away from these providers.

Oh yeah. The other good news is that the doctor you're seeing is probably a bigger gouger than the sex providers who let you down. You'll figure it out eventually cause none of them can really get into your head. They're all just pulling stuff out of their asses for the most part. Growing up from certain situations in our lives can be goddamn painful and a lot of it looks hopeless. But, there is no other way to overcome it than by going through it. One day you'll look back and hopefully put it all in perspective and figure out that you're the only one who can decide when it's time to take another path.

Obviously, if none of the sex provider options you tried have worked, you already have the beginnings of an answer. No one is that unlucky. Even a client with unrefined tastes manages to land upon a sex provider who is at least a great actress for an hour and actually leads you to believe that you're better looking than you are, that your tool is amazing, that she "loves" you like no other client and that you can get a bigger glimpse into your potential by dropping more money on her.

So Simon, I'd take it in stride. Save your money. And try real relationships that eventually lead to intimacy that is not solely reliant on sex. I believe this is what you're after. Sex in a real relationship is pretty unbeatable. If you have it, you can then see the recreational component of an escort for what it is, rather than what you'd like it to be. Escorts can't fill the void of someone's existential quest any more than your $140 is going to fully satisfy their need for money. Plus, those people you've dealt with, are pros. They probably saw right through you cause you're struggling with expectations about sex and you're probably wearing your emotions on your sleeves. So the real cunning ones out there probably figured they could get to your money by giving you less and some of them even took advantage. But, the ultimate victim is yourself. You can't be a victim unless you take on the role. Time to move on, Simon. You deserve better.

Hey, I'm no psych but that's my take for what it's worth. It's funny, I started to expect less from people and I find myself pleasantly surprised at every turn. Imputed mediocrity is indeed your best friend. Simon, you sound like a nice guy. Those around you who disagree, can go screw themselves. Have a good one.

 

[THEHITMAN]

I didn`t read every posts but I also have trouble at stopping this hobby. Its a very long story. There probably a lot of error since my English is not perfect and I never typed so much in 1 post.

How should I starts... well its started when I was around 6~7 years old. My brother show me some porn magazine and my bed was in the living room, so sometime my brother watched softcore porn on TV and go back to his room to sleep and forget to close the TV. While the light of the TV wake me up and well I get to watch it. That`s when I started liking curves and get easily distracted by girls.

During High School, when I got my computer, I found that my brother downloaded porn on it and its made me started searching for my own pictures and videos. I also started having a habit of masturbating like each day, which still happen today. Then when I was 16 years old, I bought my first porn Magazine since the guy was sure I was 18 years old and just told me to just be sure to be not caught, since he also let me buy beers.

Since I bought my first magazine, I started visiting multiple stores to start collecting and eventually bought my first VHS, which started my taste for videos over pictures. But that also when I realised I got a addiction to porn, since with all the magazine and videos I bought was more than 100$ and those were money for dinners at school. Every time I watched a VHS and came, I cut the tape and threw the VHS cassette hoping its will help but it didn`t.

When I was 18 years old, while I had female friends, they all had boyfriend and I respected their fidelity and well I never had a girlfriend since I am always shy to talk to a girl I find attractive or a complete stranger. But I wanted to experience sex since when I look at porn, its great because of all the moaning and orgasm even thought I was aware of the acting. So I thought sex with or without affection/love/connection should be the same. Which I was wrong.

So since I wanted to experience sex, I tried to find escorts but I had no clue where to find them. I started in a place called ``Studio XXX`` and had a private dance. It was 40$ for minutes but only watching and caressing if I paid 20$ more. I don`t know why but I paid a second session immediately after, I guess its was because I find the girl pretty and was also my first time having a naked woman in front of me. When I left, I was disapointed and almost no money left.

Then I heard Massage Parlor, tried it, paid 120$ I think for Thai. Left disapointed again... then it was Strip Club, had a Contact Dance, well the stripper was very kind, we get in conversation where I never had a Girlfriend and she was suprised and that I was shy to see a girl. She then gave me advice and stuff. We were into our conversation that she forgot to warn me in which song we were at. It was the fourth song and 40$ but I only had 25$ but she was ok with it because we both forgot about the musics.

Talked a little bit again after and left. Even thought I wanted to see her again and talk, I decided to not go back to a strip club. Then I hear about escorts but ask some info in a porn board which lead me here. I was still confused about the services and asked many questions. Started reading reviews and went on my first experience.

My first experience was disapointing again. I could had refused her when I saw her but I didn`t want to make her feel bad so I stayed. Older than the age mentioned, no emotion on face, no affection. I just felt not loved/liked again.

Then I read a review about escort with GFE experience, I found one and went to see her. Well... all her ``GFE`` were extra like kissing 20$, 40$, Anal 60$, TC 60$. I blindly paid all that except anal thinking she will be like a girlfriend with me... which wasn`t. Her face look like she was addict to drug and seeing how much she loved the money I gave her, I felt she loved the money more than me. No emotion on her face during the intercourse, which me made feel like I was forcing her to do something she didn`t like, which is a turn off for me.

Then I panicked and thought I got something because of my first . So I went to a clinic to test and explained to the nurse. Who introduced me to the sexologist. Since then we had many meetings, explaining my past and all. She came in conclusion that I am looking for love, a serious relationship, not just sex. And that my sex addiction was influenced in my past and that when I feel sad and lonely, that I use porn as a relief or something. While she tried to help me, my habit didn`t change.

I did see a third escort, I wouldn`t say disappointed because she didn`t stare at me emotionless. She was a kind woman, even if she was shy and not very social. But still enjoyed talking to her. Then I decided that stop that hobby.

Then the sexologist introduced me to a psychologist. hoping that she would be more successful. Explained her everything and concluded I am depressed. Then I tried meeting people throught Craigslist and Meeting site. But no results.

After like 4 months not seeing a escort. I visited the board to see what new and read a positive review. So I went to see her but I guess she was YMMW. My experience wasn`t that great either.

Then I tried a Independant after reading some very positive reviews. Very disapointed, spend 200$ for the first time, wasn`t GFE at all, tried to have a conversation but she show that she didn`t care and we pretty much stay silent.

Then I went to my psychologist who asked for specialist to interview me. Which I did and still concluded that I am depressive. So I went to see my doctor who been following me with the psychologist and sexologist and recommended my anti-depressive pills.

The doctor is in vacation now but a new one replace her. She didn`t gave it yet because she wanted to know me more before giving the pills, so she could compare me before and after taking the pills.

I used to have like 3000$ and its now like 200$, I started going back to school to finish my high school french and join a professional school for computer. I am having a hard time regaining all the money because I keep struggling to not see another escort or pay porn related stuff. I also started collection figurines and got addicted to it too, so its not all the sex/porn fault.

Since I have no job and never manage to get one. My mother give me money, 30$ each week for dinner at school. But I rarely eat the dinner so I can save them and regain my money. But as said before, I have trouble keeping the money. Now I am almost not social, unmotivated but that`s something else related in my past. No matter how hard I try to stop this hobby or watch porn, I just can`t stop it.

While I still have a good friend who stick with me since Primary School. Seeing the same person every week, start getting boring especially when he spend the whole day in front of his computer. Sometimes he even forget I am in his house...

Because I lost my motivation, I never work at school and I used to do muscle-building in a gym but since my membership expired and I didn`t had the money to renew it, I stop. Lost my motivation to continue it at my house. I even started to be bored of everything I liked to do like playing video games, walk outside (mostly because I am walking alone) and visit my friend. And the death of my father in April definetely didn`t help.

Right now, I don`t really know what to do. I made a appointment with my doctor next Monday and see what will happen.

Simon your story almost brought tears to my eyes man.I hope you are able to get motivated and finish school.Find a great job or business and hopefully meet the girl of your dreams.The one thing that I`ve understood is that if you do something compulsively sooner or later it dies out and you don`t want to do it anymore.When I started in this hobby I was young and I would sometimes see an escort 2 or 3 times a day.Now as a few yrs have passed if I do it once a week or every 2 weeks i`m ok.Eventually it will be once a month.All the best.

 

[erase]

Update

Hey SimonK,

Glad to hear you pulled it together. Keep it up!

On my end, I managed to stay away for about a year, and that really helped me to get things together also. I managed to get my finances totally in shape, and a number of aspects of my personal life as well.

Unfortunately I figured that with my newfound control I could partake in the occasional encounter, and promptly managed to get my first "real" STD - will post about this in another thread...

I suppose I should take it as a strong message/lesson that I should have stayed on the wagon.

 

[ProFinder]

addicted

I am really addicted to this sport.

I find im spending way too much money and rarely leave my place. I sold my house and moved into an apt,,,, and am eating for my savings. I read all the reviews on this board and then try out.

I dont even feel like theres a point going out anymore. Since I just order in.

It has been going on for a number of years .... but now im running low on cash. Spent close to 400K on SP's.

One time I order 7 in one day! thats my maximum!.

Are there any help groups I can go to to help me out with my problem? Let me know guys I need help.

Profinder.

 

[gambler]

Celexa

Hi

I've been on 40 mg tabs a day for 4 months, I still indulge in porn and massage but that overwhelming compulsion is not as strong, I sort of think this is a waste of time and close the page. Problem now is overwhelming lazyness (sloth) an other vice.

Good luck

I wonder what went through Erase's head before he called for service. (ie: if i mix milk with the scotch it wont hurt me)