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How to quit the Hobby/Addiction?

Dragonatic

Banned
Dec 18, 2008
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Cured may be the wrong word, lets say a higher power did for them what they could not do for ourselves, and that is to stop drinking alcohol

Yea, there is a big difference between "to stop drinking alcohol" and "to drink alcohol normally without being addicted". Thats why I say that most of the people that go to a detoxification will never be CURED.

When you have to completely stop something to not be addicted again then its cause you still have a problem..... :)

Moderation is the way, not abolition! lol
 
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hungry101

Well-Known Member
Oct 29, 2007
5,838
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Yea, there is a big difference between "to stop drinking alcohol" and "to drink alcohol normally without being addicted". Thats why I say that most of the people that go to a detoxification will never be CURED.

When you have to completely stop something to not be addicted again then its cause you still have a problem..... :)

Moderation is the way, not abolition! lol
Is this true with heroin?
 

Dragonatic

Banned
Dec 18, 2008
421
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Is this true with heroin?

Yes why not? I know someone that was addicted to cocain (like if he was not able to get his cocain just for 1 day he was fucked up like hell..). Now he is cured, he just do cocain 2-3 times a year, and its at new years day/christmas... This is what I call "cured". He can still do cocain without getting addicted again. He just have to use moderation :)
 

gambler

New Member
Nov 1, 2007
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Healthy sex

The Big Book from AA (not the big blue book) says put this test to your sexual reltionships. Is it selfish or not ?


Anyway I hope I can have something inside me soon where people can Say I want that.. Thats the way it works for the founders of AA one drunk to another `"I used to be like you." And the other drunk says "I see something in this man and I want it and will do anything to get it!" The question is are you beat yet?
 

gambler

New Member
Nov 1, 2007
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Imperious Urge

I looked it up and it means Tyrannical, arrogant. Thats where I am now with the imperious urge, after going to the Health club locker room. Dr. Bill one of the founders of AA also had a sex addiction, he describes it as the imperious urge where to submit would mean doom and sure to drink again (Alcoholic Annonimous). Anyway Im an addict and as most addicts, started around 10 years old (dont call it love) unfortunatly my parents had no clue how to deal with it, seems one tyrant was replaced with another. Looking back I had no Idea. My only mistake was being nieve.

Yakushe the Medicine buddha says its first way to an untimely death and loss of vitality.

HOPE is the cornerstone and honesty the morter.


Pussy Monster.
 

Slippery

New Member
Mar 22, 2008
12
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Sounds like you've beat the scientists to the answer, but they're working on it.
Reward deficiency syndrome.
www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/109659204/abstract?CRETRY=1&SRETRY=0
 

gambler

New Member
Nov 1, 2007
76
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resentments

If you have a great deal of resentment and grudges you may be an alcoholic. The number one problem with alcoholics is the resentments the grude and brain storm were not for us, they may be a dubious luxery for normal men but for the alcoholic it means death.

By the way to go to an AA meeting all you need is the Big Book and an other alcoholic.

Back to resentments. They destroyed me as they have many other a fellow with this allergy. The Big Book has a plan for dealing with this problem that we could no more will them away than we could stop drinking with my own will power.

Mermaid !! Thank God I dont have the Obssesion to look at porn, the classifieds, girl watch, self sex. ahh dont even think about it too much.
Only the odd trip to a Massage Parlor. wo hun xihuan anmo nu zhongquo . tai mai le.
 

wtcpp5

New Member
Mar 21, 2010
26
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1
The problem with me is I just can't stop banging hot french canadian booty. I am just addicted to a woman's body and today I managed to cum twice with a smoking hot vixen SP. 20 mins of straight sex with just a few mins of intermission in between. This is the first time I have ever defied the so called refractory period. This is the closest experience I could ever had of time travel. I skipped the entire time frame for recuperation. It was an out of body experience and suddenly within minutes I was hard as a sword again, ready for a 2nd round of sex which I lasted over 10 mins. If an addiction that helps me defy recovery time, so be it!
 

gambler

New Member
Nov 1, 2007
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Make one thing clear

Its true the main problem is nobody likes me. Dont understand why so many girls wanted to marry me. so strange.

Anyway I want to make one thing clear. A real drunk guy was at an AA meeting last night, you know the type really far gone, knowing he needed held, was begging. His problem just wont go away . He doesen't understand that no one there can help him, the members are there only to show whats working for them and if your willing to follow a few simple steps it will work for you too.

BTW I know how very very hard it can be it not all smooth sailing. This guy is like me, his drinking my self-sex (masterbation). Sitting in a chair telling a preacher I needed help. If you seek a Higher Power it will come. Its not hopeless.
 
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gambler

New Member
Nov 1, 2007
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Me again

So I have not jerked off since that event above (im 56 now) but still cruse the massage parlors. Step seven listen to this from an AA book. Its about humility- For us AAs this learning Humility was unbelievably painfull. you have to start to lose my self centered fear.

I have had a few days curled up in a ball or rolling on the floor in agony, from one relationship or an other.

I could go strait to a parlor where I know they have good service, but instead go a quest because to go strait home to an empty house is just too painful sometimes.

My daughter is rushing me out of the Libary now.
 

Royal

Out of Order
Jun 25, 2010
140
11
18
Montreal
I'm retiring from the Hobby... gradually... I mean, at least when it comes to making new appointments and meeting new gems. It was kind of a thrill for a few months, but I'm worrying about the effect that this is having on my life... I want out and not feel that Christian guilt after the date or the worry due to the fear of risks associated with the hobby :p, at the same time, my brain is telling me it's fun, go for it... haha quite a struggle. So, no more SPs with the exception of a select few (they number 2) and those two I've decided no to see as often... I hope to be able to gradually lower my desire to see them.

Woosh... we'll see what happens and how I'm doing. I'll keep you folks posted.
 

duetoday

Member
Jul 16, 2008
372
19
18
between you and "them"
Well going to a clinic for sex-addiction did not do "good" for Tiger,he lost his "gift" for a while...
Now that he is divorced,he is a "player" again?...
Some of my friends play golf,play cards,play tennis,play charity,i just play....
 

daviddwilson

New Member
Oct 11, 2010
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First, I want to say that's it's a very interesting thread.

I understand fully what Erase is talking about. I just want to say that a psychologist will not solve the problem by himself. A guy got to figure out by himself if he got a problem with hobbying and at wich extend. As for the guilt. It's the same thing. The whole society claims that it's bad so one wy or another it gets to you. Personnally, I think that each case is different. We all do it for our own reasons.

I consider myself a controled sex addict. I'm addcit to porn and the more porn I see, the more I fantasize and it often end up with a SP. Since I,M busy and my live is well balanced, it's OK but if I was alone I don't know to wich extend hobbying could develop into a problem for me.

In my mind the key word is satisfaction. When I meet a SP and I'm fully satisfied, it's fine for a while, but when you got bad encounters and deception, you keep on going and going. So if you can't get any satisfaction quit because that's where it get dangerous.

The word says it all. It's a Hobby, not an everyday way of life.

This a great and highly informative topic.
It reminds us how we can just get addicted to this hobby without
realizing it. In my case, I am fortunate that there's some sort of self automation
that refrains me sometimes from abusive hobbying -> I can plunge in a momentum of addiction where I would -- for a limited time -- feel addicted to escorts. Then I would start getting fed up/annoyed and would all naturally stop hobbying for a while.
 

Turbodick

Member
Mar 28, 2007
615
3
18
Wow, looking at the views of this thread it is obvious that a lot of people on the board are aware of the possibility that they may be going too far with their hobby. I must compliment the board for letting this thread exist.
 

gambler

New Member
Nov 1, 2007
76
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0
Wish I had something useful to add because it seems to help keep me strait. I still f'd up but havent looked at porn, smoked, drank spanked the monkey in 4 months. AFTER years of trying only cutting of the internet worked. Then some bouts with depression, fatigue anaziety, horny as hell. I dont even think about it now. Although I still cant sit in front a computer without googeling craigslist .org.. Spend a lot of time fantasizing abaout the latest service. Resentments are under control. Now to deal with the dragon fear.


Burn into every mans concience that he can recover if he trusts in god and cleans house. That jumped out at me today. From the big book working with others.
 

bumfie

New Member
May 23, 2005
688
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Gambler, I truly believe that this world is about being accepting of others and one doing whatever floats one's boat. Giving up smoking? Great thing. Giving up web porn? Probably good. But I am not sure what is to be gained by giving up "monkey-spanking" or denying your God (if you believe in God)-given sexuality. If it means giving up bad relationships or seeing escorts because either of things have had a negative drain on the rest of your life, fine. But to feel one has to restrain from masturbating because it is evil, even if your testicles are beginning to look like overripe plums, well, I can't see it, but I would never judge you for what you think.
 

CockAsian69

Born to Pleasure Women!
Jul 30, 2005
473
11
18
Montreal
The first sign you have a problem is denial, of course, I do not have a problem... :)
CA OUT!
 

Thor

Member
Jun 24, 2010
59
1
8
Montreal
Hi

First time posting here.

I`ll try to elaborate my story. Sorry if my english is all broken, i`m semi bilingual....

First i`ll try to resume my background quick.
I was born with a congenital cardiac malformation. Got open heart surgery at 2 and 18 years old.
Between those 2 major surgeries, i had about 10 other mid to minor surgeries.
Now i`m 35 and my heart condition is perfect (touching wood)! Thank god and thank the medecine.

My personality is: shy guy, not to social. General lack of self-confidence. Always lived at my parents house.

At 13 my brother bought a Samantha Fox calander and that was it. I got horny about her and her boobs and started masturbation.....

My first girlfriend was at 17.
I had 3 girlfriends in a row in 3 years. Each one of them cheated on me.
Those events realy shocked and tromatised me.

Felt in love with a 4th girl which was a bad move. She was hot!
She had a boyfriend but she was always calling me, wrting little letters and telling me how she
liked me. She was teasing me and always talked about how her boyfriend was a jerk.

After 12 months she finaly dump him and i got out with her. It lasted a month and she left me for another guy.

At that point i made a pact with myself to never fall in love again.
A 7 year single status followed. That`s when all the SP exploring and addiction came in....




Now today in 2010

It`s been 8 years now i kinda struggle with the addiction.
Been around the subject with a psychoanalyst (6 months) i know it`s not long but still gave me clues.
I`m seing a psychiatrist for 8 years. I`ve been taking medications for about 10 years now to treat panic attack, depression and agoraphobia.
And also i`ve been seing a psychologist for almost a year now for a spoken therapy in addition to the medication.
See my objective is to understand my behavior and also why some humans behave like i do.
I`m not convinced about the theories that have been elaborate yet.

First i have to confirm that as far as the antidepressant goes, yes it can realy spark the sex addiction. It started like that for me.
Was introduced to 20mg of Paxil 10 years ago and was feeling so good, man i swear my life had changed drasticaly.
I got out of my 4 years reclusion in my home. I got a job which i didn`t have for 3 years. Made some friends at the office. Got a car. Got my sense of freedom back and i was totaly Euphoric about it. The sense of freedom was so intense, i felt i was living detached from time itself. I mean, instead of getting in sync with time, i was just letting myself go in the flux of time without stressing anything (including some deadlines in projects)...
So i started making money like i never had. My boss was very pleased with me. I got 3 promotions in 3 years.
And the weekends was SP time. I was seeing 1 SP each weekend.
And then it started to be twice a weekend or twice a week. Was also registering to dating sex website to try to ``save money``. But the final result was voften a deception. I also registered to phonelines dating like Lavalife. I got to meet a few interesting girls ans milf there. But still i had big telephone bills.

My expenses towards all the need for sex was getting so big i was barely able to pay my debts and obligations.
I realy got conscious that my behavior was out of control and exagerated compared to what it was before.
I spoke about it to my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me bipolar type 2 with Hyper Maniac (too high and too happy) tendencies and prescribed me a mood stabilizer.

It worked and it decreased a lot the SP rush but the fatigue that came with the medication was so intense sometimes i was almost
getting asleep while driving.

So we played with that stupid medication for years. I`ve been true all man! I mean all, Paxil, Zoloft, Effexor, Celaxa, Wellbutrin, Lithium, Lamictal, Rivotril, Ritalin, Ativan, Prozac at a point where i was realy angry and sad at the same time realizing the point that i`ve reached.

I felt like full of poisonous toxic medication...man!
But there was still long periods that went that i was feeling fine. Like for 1 year everythign could be resonable and balanced (my mood and behavior).

To a point where in 2007 i`ve brake my pact and met a girl which i felt in love with and got out with for 3 years. But man what a up and down ride it was. So troubling and sad! I cried so much because of all the confusion inside of me. It`s like i always was unshure of everything. She wanted us to live together. She dreamed about the house and the dog and the typical family configuration.

I was always feeling like my freedom was disapearing.
I was missing the time when i could go out randomly and pick a street girl or call an SP.
And guess what i did. I went back to that pattern and was with my girl.
She didn`t know about it.

I decided to take action and went consulting a Psychologist for a talk therapy. The medication was not working anymore or very less.

First thing i said to my psy was: ``i come here because i don`t know if i realy love my girlfriend and i cheat on her with SP and i feel bad. Please help me to stop this behavior.

I told her: I don`t have sex with my girlfriend anymore. Her she want, but i`m not aroused or excited by her anymore. Or, is it my libido who`s down.
She said: no it can`t be your libido, if your aroused by SP`s. But she said it was a paradox that i was excited by SP`s but not my GF.
Wow! i said. Your right that`s a paradox.
My brother told me: it`s normal after a few years you get bored always with the same person.......yes! that`s what i was opting for to!
But then my psy came with a theory that changed my thoughts forever until this day i can`t deny it. She said:

There is a cleavage, a sharp division between your girlfriend and the SP`s.
The way you love and see your girlfriend is more like your mother.
That`s why you tend not to have sex with her and not to have the same dirty sex you have with the SP`s.


As with the SP`s you realy can have sex for sex.

Your girlfirend is like your mother. Would you sleep with your mother?

Dude i swear i was shocked.

I started to realize that yes it`s true that my GF was someway maternal. She would cook for me, wash my clothes for me and was managing the bills and all....
Always complaining about her financial situation, she has 2 childrens, i had to addapt to all that and from where i came from, that was a big chunk to handle.

Cheating on her with SP`s was very painful and saddening for me. I felt unhappy and confused. Depressed again. Almost suicidal.
We started to play with the medication again.....secondary effects got me tired and sleepy has hell...

My girlfriend found out i was cheating. She went into my emails and discovered all that shit...man what a war it was.
Little did she knew i was in therapy to try to stop that behavior and maybe save my couple.

And to this day i`m still in therapy with my psychologist trying to understand my behavior.

My psy says that i need to become way more independant and autonomous.
Move out from your mother`s house and go live alone and try to learn to be a man....

Damm! Have i knew it all came down to this. No i have no more GF and i`m back at mom`s house.

I once asked my psy: if i was going out with the girl of my dreams. You think i still would cheat on her. Oh yes she said. For shure.
I said ``even if it`s the most beautiful girl of my dreams?`` She was convinced that in the mental state that i am, i would still cheat on miss universe.

Dude! That`s a hard hit!

Ok so enough of the psy`s versions.

Here`s my theory.
The way I see SP`s is they are there to please certain needs and fantasies.

I like the feeling of big boobs and i like bubble butts. I like soft toned skin. I like giving rimjob to a clean ass. I like receiving CIMWS. I like long and nice legs.

So how can i deny that? Is it wrong to like women with round butts and soft skin?

This is how i tend to analyse the situation. That`s where i`m at now. Trying to accept myself like i am or change?

Please help by sharing your thoughts.

I mean, nobody`s going to stop my desire for women....
 
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