Isn't it ironic that women are supposed to the ones that get attached/turn emotional quicker than men? And yet, here we are, mostly men talking about detaching ourselves from this hobby. Mind you, there's an element of addiction/self control involved. That certainly plays a factor in all this.
But the bottom line is, without emotional entanglement, quitting this hobby would be much easier.
Sex is 90% mental, so is our desire to be appreciated and liked/loved. Whatever one's motivation is from entering this hobby (I suspect it's usually physical), sooner to later, the mental part comes in, and things get complicated. Before you know it, you realize you are in for much more than what you bargained for. I'm as guilty as anyone else here. Before meeting my current ATF, I was ready to hang it up after a brief run of mostly physical encounters, only to be dragged head first into the minefield of "having feelings" for an SP.
So what can be done about this? Keeping things in perspective, or taking it slow, as suggested by several ppl here, sounds very reasonable, but is not easy to do, especially in the beginning (just like any addiction). Quitting cold turkey might work for some, but can be a little unnecessary if you do have good self discipline and can pace yourself (this does not apply to all your frequent posters here).
Seeking answers from this "community" of 50 shades of men's sexual psyche, is pretty tough simply because everyone is from different age groups, life experiences, personalities, etc. For the money we're paying SPs, some of that can and probably should be diverted to professional shrinks if you truly seek enlightenment.
This hobby is based on sexual fantasy and escape, like a porn video that you get to participate in, or an x-rated cake that can be indulged on occasion, if you will. If you TRULY treat it as what it is, you'll be fine. I get in trouble only when I lose this perspective, and start thinking "what ifs". Most men (myself included) are probably not equipped to handle such a delicate task for very long. Sooner or later, gratification turns into wanting for something more, or compensating for something that's lacking in real life that is not purely sexual.
But hey, this is what makes us human, including even the most die hard men. It's a journey that most of us didn't ask for, but since we're on it, might as well complete it to get to the other side. If you can conquer this, and lived to tell your tale, then you truly have reached new heights.
It's too good to be true but it's never too late to learn.
Keep your chin up and good luck to all of us.
