How to quit the Hobby/Addiction?

[No_Church_InThe_Wild]

Well obviously not everyone needs to quit. Not everyone is the same or has the same set of circumstances.
But for some folks this pastime can become problematic in the long run.
This 15 year old thread is littered with posts from Merbists claiming addiction problems and voicing their concerns about the dangers of this hobby. Some do have more addictive , compulsive personalities than others which is destructive for their lives . It’s a serious problem.
In the end like most things in life moderation is the key.
A good way to manage this is to take breaks and practice restraint and self control from time to time .
Like a previous poster mentioned, taking gaps in between visits is the way to go .
But what if your a local where availability and quality are so easy to get and it’s much tougher not to overindulge.
Throw moderation to the winds and the greatest pleasures bring the greatest pains. Democritus

P.s. all the best in your struggles OnlyDoggy

 

[jalimon]

Could not have said it better No Church

And it's now my turn to cut back. I have to be honest I for one simply think the amount spent for this was just too much. Does not make sense.

Also I need to say something has been bugging me big time for a few months now. It's hard to describe because it could be pretty harsh for the girls to hear this.

You know there is always a bigger fish in life. I feel like a small ATM versus the big bank john
And the girls in this? Well no matter who you are, how cool you are and all... It does not enter the equation. Down the road who you are does not mean a fuck. We guys in this are just a device that provides cash. So of course the girl will always follow the big bank john. Why would they not...

I will take a break and only see occasionally some north shore local girl. You may say I am too sensitive in this... Well yes you are right. That is why I need a break (or I need a regular girlfriend...hum...).

Cheers,

 

[Fradi]

, ^^^^^
I would tend to agree with most of this and this is the case probably more than 90% of the time.
Then by shear luck you find one who actually enjoys being with you ( yes the $$ has to be there) and does everything she possibly can to keep you.
I doubt it doesn’t mean a thing who you are, the way she is, no amount of money would be enough to compensate.
Before you think I have totally lost my mind for this lady, the answer is , yes I am totally addicted, but we both stay mostly within boundaries.
I have lived my life and know what it is to be with the woman of your dreams, and I would wish this young lady the same kind of love and happiness with someone, but while she is going to remain an escort I will keep seeing her. It just feels so much better than with anyone else.
Now if I was 20 years younger it would be a whole different game, I would never let her go.

 

[cloudsurf]

Fradi…..waiting for her review .

 

[Fradi]

Cloudsurf,

You can read it. It is Gabrielle Garnnier.
I see her often, not often enough for me.

I see others just to make sure I don’t get completely addicted, or at least that is what I tell myself lol

 

[Flyingby]

Cloudsurf,

You can read it. It is Gabrielle Garnnier.
I see her often, not often enough for me.

I see others just to make sure I don’t get completely addicted, or at least that is what I tell myself lol

Jalimon’s point is that no matter who you are. Cash is king. Would gabrielle see you without the cash?

 

[Fradi]

Flyingby,

Had you read my post 395 you wouldn’t be asking this , I believe I said the money has to be there.
Having said that, I pay others also and never have the same kind of experience.
I am not complaining, I can honestly say I have never had a bad experience with any companion, quite the opposite they have all been amazing and unique in their own way and I have repeated with quite a few.



Let me ask you this and Cloudsurf also, I am sure both of you have been with one that just absolutely rocks your world and you can’t get enough of her, well she does it for me.

I am not 21 so I have no illusions that she or any other companion half my age would see me for my stud like qualities, and luckily I don’t have a problem paying for it.
It beats dating someone my own age and listening to all their baggage and most I wouldn’t sleep with if they paid me.

 

[heliragedeleted]

I think I`m going to change my name to:
Guy Chet Ottomatic

 

[Flyingby]

Sorry Fradi. I misread. I though when you said that you meant you thought it was something different in the sense of a relationship
Yes I agree some sp are better at their job than others at making us feel special. I also have one.
I have to slap myself back to reality every now and then

 

[cloudsurf]

I remember one popular escort responding to my question as to why she got into the biz. Her response was that she loved sex and was fucking several guys a day while attending sex clubs.
One day she decided that she might as well get paid while having fun. After 7 years she is still an escort but only works on days when she is horny..

So I agree with Fradi. Every escort is in it for the money, but not every one JUST for the money.
If a girl is popular and/or loves sex and adventure, then there are certainly other motivations besides money.

 

[jalimon]

I think I`m going to change my name to:
Guy Chet Ottomatic

haha Of all the answers you are the one that got it right. Before I change my name too I will take a break

 

[Fradi]

The true prostitue understand this and abides by it... until a better offer comes along. The latter is universal. Decency/courtesy simply do not exist in the world of prostitution. That is business through and through and something you should not and cannot fault them for..Change your mentality.

Do not let this get in the way of being a better person for actual women. Use the prosti so you can be better for your wife, gf, or tinder hook ups. Get

Sorry, all this sounds more like sour grapes and someone who was hurt by thinking there was something there that wasn’t.

First I know what a life time of being with the woman you love and dream about is like.
Nothing will ever come remotely close to that.
Because of that when I started seeing escorts, I was never expecting that kind of relationship and still don’t.

All I wanted was great intimacy with someone who will treat me with the same kind of respect and kindness that I am willing to give.

I literally went through hundreds of websites and kept coming back to the same gorgeous woman all the time.
little did I know that she would be even more gorgeous inside, I have been seeing her ever since, I don’t think I need to name her again.

As I said I have seen others and repeated with them and they are all fabulous women some are mature and experienced and know how to treat a man, others are young and have this child like inquisitive quality, some are like a hurricane and just completely blow you over. Then there are ones you can’t resist because they have a stunning look and face like Katrina.

Above all yes it is about the money for all of these ladies , including my ATF, does that change the fact that they are all women and have their preference, I will always believe that any women that is worth anything, if you treat them like they are special, they will react in a like manner.

Just don’t be naive and try to replace a real love relationship with an escort, that doesn’t mean that they cannot and will not prefer seeing you we are all human and prefer one over another even escorts and even when money is involved.

 

[Cubbie]

Isn't it ironic that women are supposed to the ones that get attached/turn emotional quicker than men? And yet, here we are, mostly men talking about detaching ourselves from this hobby. Mind you, there's an element of addiction/self control involved. That certainly plays a factor in all this.

But the bottom line is, without emotional entanglement, quitting this hobby would be much easier.

Sex is 90% mental, so is our desire to be appreciated and liked/loved. Whatever one's motivation is from entering this hobby (I suspect it's usually physical), sooner to later, the mental part comes in, and things get complicated. Before you know it, you realize you are in for much more than what you bargained for. I'm as guilty as anyone else here. Before meeting my current ATF, I was ready to hang it up after a brief run of mostly physical encounters, only to be dragged head first into the minefield of "having feelings" for an SP.

So what can be done about this? Keeping things in perspective, or taking it slow, as suggested by several ppl here, sounds very reasonable, but is not easy to do, especially in the beginning (just like any addiction). Quitting cold turkey might work for some, but can be a little unnecessary if you do have good self discipline and can pace yourself (this does not apply to all your frequent posters here).

Seeking answers from this "community" of 50 shades of men's sexual psyche, is pretty tough simply because everyone is from different age groups, life experiences, personalities, etc. For the money we're paying SPs, some of that can and probably should be diverted to professional shrinks if you truly seek enlightenment.

This hobby is based on sexual fantasy and escape, like a porn video that you get to participate in, or an x-rated cake that can be indulged on occasion, if you will. If you TRULY treat it as what it is, you'll be fine. I get in trouble only when I lose this perspective, and start thinking "what ifs". Most men (myself included) are probably not equipped to handle such a delicate task for very long. Sooner or later, gratification turns into wanting for something more, or compensating for something that's lacking in real life that is not purely sexual.

But hey, this is what makes us human, including even the most die hard men. It's a journey that most of us didn't ask for, but since we're on it, might as well complete it to get to the other side. If you can conquer this, and lived to tell your tale, then you truly have reached new heights.

It's too good to be true but it's never too late to learn.

Keep your chin up and good luck to all of us.

 

[OnlyDoggy]

It isn't sour grapes. It's absurd to think you'd strike a friendship or GF with a prostitue and I never thought otherwise. Forget the rest.

 

[Fradi]

They aren't women to me anymore. Just things to use while respecting the instructions they put forward about consent/etc

You will eventually learn women are women prostitute or civilian, you can have a great time with both, they actually can and will like someone who treats them with warmth and kindness, money or no money.

You actually think this kind of mindset will get you somewhere with civilian women, they like the same considerate respectful person that escorts do.
If we are talking strictly as a job, do you like going to work where everybody respects you and values your company ?

btw I never look for a girlfriend when I see an escort GFE is just a fantasy. Friend yes, of that I am sure, no amount of money would be enough for the type of connection I have with this lady. That is an entirely different thing

 

[OnlyDoggy]

You're mistaken. I was saying I will no longer view escorts as civillan women in any way, shape, or form. That doesn't mean I won't respect every single one of their limits regarding the services they offer. Consent is paramount in sex. But disassociating their existence as human beings is necessary, I realize, for me to enjoy their services without stress to them or myself. That is all.

 

[Fradi]

Onlydoggy,

Sorry but you were using some some pretty strong language to convince me otherwise, which looks like you have realized also and deleted.

Now you decided to put back that they don’t exist as human beings to you Wow.
do you actually think before you write or after.

I suggest you don’t use your handle when booking lol.

 

[OnlyDoggy]

I mean, if you put out a bunch of great reviews and have a bunch of references that could attest to how well you treat them in person, it wouldn't really matter. Escorts have sex with people whose views they dont support or like in anyway all the time. I'm sure John's do to. The world still turns.

Maybe I am a bit sour. Lol. But not for the reason you put forward or think.

Enjoy Gabrielle. I've read she's a great kisser.

 

[Fradi]

If you can treat them well and write good reviews with an opinion like you have, you should be up for an actors award.


I don’t think any self respecting escort or woman would want to be with someone that had this kind of opinion of them.
As far as escorts having sex with people who they don’t like, again the good ones I doubt will want to see someone they don’t like a second time. The ones that will are not worth seeing anyway.

In any case if you can’t tell the difference between an escort that couldn’t care less whether it is you or a coke bottle, then maybe you shouldn’t be seeing women at all especially if they make you feel that way.

Anyway I am done with this thread , I don’t plan on quitting, and I absolutely adore women civilian and escorts they have shown me nothing but love and kindness.

Yes she is a great kisser which is just one of her many magical qualities.
She is also the kindest and warmest human being that I have met in a long time.

 

[OnlyDoggy]

There is no if. I already do treat escorts well. That won't change much. Likwise, I will be accepting my oscar because I could still write glowing reviews, if I felt so inclined. They're just words. Maybe give some awards to the providers able to feign attraction to various clients too...

None of this will have an impact on how I treat or think of other regular women. There is a huge difference between them and civillan women.