i try many imeto quit the escort buisness but i hink it is impossible when you mneed human contact
How to quit the Hobby/Addiction?
- Thread starter Mother_rekcuF
- Start date
Very funny...I might try your way...one day!I don't post much but here is my 2 cents. (also english is my second language, so bare with me)
If it wrecks you financially you need to stop period. If you lack emotional connection (Something i never did need and no I'm not joking) than stop also because you will never find it here. We all have our crutch to fill the void in our lives (a void that will never be fully filled. It's human nature) so if to you, it becomes to be like gambling or hard drugs or whatever seek help. I'm sure there is a sexoholic anonymous or something similar somewhere.
Personally, I budget it all and go for it when the time is right. Too many men get in a relationship and it might be great in the beginning, but it slowly turns into a rut. A routine. And SO many compromises. If your stuck with someone who isn't open-minded enough in terms of sexual fantasies, your shit out of luck. And even if its great in that department, you have the rest of everything to deal with (again, compromises). Why the fuck would I quit with all the accessibility of it all? Money? yes, of course If i'm in a slump I can't hobby as much I want to. But the good thing is, as i get older, My libido is decreasing (and thank god for that, 10 year ago It was off the charts!) so I don't spend much on it anymore.
also,I cannot possibly be attracted to ordinary women , i just can't. The irony is, of course, I'm not much to look at either. But i can't force myself to find an average looking girl attractive. Even if she is smart enough to have a decent conversation with, I'm not gonna feel like trying to go any further. Mind you these days, most females think we owe them everything, are shallow materialistic bitches without common sense (just look at the profiles on dating sites, Prince charming doesn't exist morons!) and the older they get, the crazier they are (single or married). Too much baggage, too much whining like spoiled brats, Always about their needs. One way street compromises. Married men giving up in order not to get into an arguement even if it pisses them off...(sigh!)
And you castrated québécois males are enjoying being treated like dogs it seems! So many of you are dominated by your wifes and girlfriends it's unrreal! In other parts of the world, it's the exact opposite and it is brutal! (and many ways worse of course don't throw bricks at me yet!). An equilibrium has never been reached. Man/women relationships are a FUCK NO in my book. I also don't want children so there is another strike on my record. My interests do not blend with theirs, call me selfish all you want, but to force myself like so many of you to go so far off what really makes you happy just to get laid...PASS!
That's why the hobby is the best alternative. No hassles, you cut the middleman and you actually save money. but, I hear you say, what about love? Believing in love is like believing in santa claus, it's cute when you're a kid but you had better grow out of it quick. It is a social construct in order to get the human specie to reproduce and nothing else. Just like marriage is a religious institution created to keep the flock of sheeple in check. I believe in neither. Happiness? A concept nothing more. It differs from person to person. I've also never seen a relationship, marriage etc where I said " I wouldn't mind being in that one myself ". I am not miserable in the least. I have reach the point of no return. I'm now too old for the 20 something crowd and the 30,40's are not a viable option. I will hobby until my body disagrees with me or the ladies reject me for being too old.
If it wrecks you financially you need to stop period. If you lack emotional connection (Something i never did need and no I'm not joking) than stop also because you will never find it here. We all have our crutch to fill the void in our lives (a void that will never be fully filled. It's human nature) so if to you, it becomes to be like gambling or hard drugs or whatever seek help. I'm sure there is a sexoholic anonymous or something similar somewhere.
Personally, I budget it all and go for it when the time is right. Too many men get in a relationship and it might be great in the beginning, but it slowly turns into a rut. A routine. And SO many compromises. If your stuck with someone who isn't open-minded enough in terms of sexual fantasies, your shit out of luck. And even if its great in that department, you have the rest of everything to deal with (again, compromises). Why the fuck would I quit with all the accessibility of it all? Money? yes, of course If i'm in a slump I can't hobby as much I want to. But the good thing is, as i get older, My libido is decreasing (and thank god for that, 10 year ago It was off the charts!) so I don't spend much on it anymore.
also,I cannot possibly be attracted to ordinary women , i just can't. The irony is, of course, I'm not much to look at either. But i can't force myself to find an average looking girl attractive. Even if she is smart enough to have a decent conversation with, I'm not gonna feel like trying to go any further. Mind you these days, most females think we owe them everything, are shallow materialistic bitches without common sense (just look at the profiles on dating sites, Prince charming doesn't exist morons!) and the older they get, the crazier they are (single or married). Too much baggage, too much whining like spoiled brats, Always about their needs. One way street compromises. Married men giving up in order not to get into an arguement even if it pisses them off...(sigh!)
And you castrated québécois males are enjoying being treated like dogs it seems! So many of you are dominated by your wifes and girlfriends it's unrreal! In other parts of the world, it's the exact opposite and it is brutal! (and many ways worse of course don't throw bricks at me yet!). An equilibrium has never been reached. Man/women relationships are a FUCK NO in my book. I also don't want children so there is another strike on my record. My interests do not blend with theirs, call me selfish all you want, but to force myself like so many of you to go so far off what really makes you happy just to get laid...PASS!
That's why the hobby is the best alternative. No hassles, you cut the middleman and you actually save money. but, I hear you say, what about love? Believing in love is like believing in santa claus, it's cute when you're a kid but you had better grow out of it quick. It is a social construct in order to get the human specie to reproduce and nothing else. Just like marriage is a religious institution created to keep the flock of sheeple in check. I believe in neither. Happiness? A concept nothing more. It differs from person to person. I've also never seen a relationship, marriage etc where I said " I wouldn't mind being in that one myself ". I am not miserable in the least. I have reach the point of no return. I'm now too old for the 20 something crowd and the 30,40's are not a viable option. I will hobby until my body disagrees with me or the ladies reject me for being too old.
Having been twice married, I have to agree with the above sentiments. I'm still in my 2nd marriage and will remain so. Nonetheless, the romance is gone and we rarely have interesting sex. I have a regular that satisfies my needs completely and another few for quickies. Sometimes I sample something new jut to spice things up if I feel bored.
If you asked my wife if her husband is happy in his marriage, she would tell you "absolutely". And if she's happy, then I'm happy.
If you asked my wife if her husband is happy in his marriage, she would tell you "absolutely". And if she's happy, then I'm happy.
Who would be recommended to see for help? Psychologist? Sexologist? Sex Anonimous (the one I found sound like they want to convert me to religion...)?
Saying this because since January, I have been in depression that caused me to see SP much more often than usual and this caused me to borrow money from close ones and its biting me back. I used to see a SP just once a month but I feel like seeing one every week.
I remember when I first started, I was seeing a sexologist and she helped me find what was the reason that keep me going to see a SP at such a young age. We found out I was just seeking companionship or love from a woman... when I started in a professional school and met new friends, my need of SP was going away. Until I quit because its wasn't the job I was looking forward.
Slowly, my head starting to think of seeing SP just for sex and have fun talking with, so this wasn't a good idea because that lead to me going back to seeing SP regularly. And then my newly met friends, we had a fight this year, even though we reconciled together, its just not the same as before, like there permanent scar between ever since. The facts and made our other friends keep their distance with me has shown me how manipulative he is.
The fact I was exposed to porn at a very young age because of my brother doesn't help, we can say its gave me a preference on top model/stripper looking women. I am not saying I will not a date a GND woman but if I see a photo of a sexy stripper or top model, I will be stimulated to see a SP. Especially when I live in Downtown which is surrounded by Strip Club every corner.
I spent one whole year trying to find something I would like for a future job but nothing come up. I have no one close that know my situation except my brother but he never been a moral guy, he in fact encouraged me to see a SP for my first sex since I never got a girlfriend and I ended with a not so attractive SP who was like 10 years older than me as my first experience... with time I started learning where to check and all but my first experience is something I rather forget.
I just don't know where to go...
Saying this because since January, I have been in depression that caused me to see SP much more often than usual and this caused me to borrow money from close ones and its biting me back. I used to see a SP just once a month but I feel like seeing one every week.
I remember when I first started, I was seeing a sexologist and she helped me find what was the reason that keep me going to see a SP at such a young age. We found out I was just seeking companionship or love from a woman... when I started in a professional school and met new friends, my need of SP was going away. Until I quit because its wasn't the job I was looking forward.
Slowly, my head starting to think of seeing SP just for sex and have fun talking with, so this wasn't a good idea because that lead to me going back to seeing SP regularly. And then my newly met friends, we had a fight this year, even though we reconciled together, its just not the same as before, like there permanent scar between ever since. The facts and made our other friends keep their distance with me has shown me how manipulative he is.
The fact I was exposed to porn at a very young age because of my brother doesn't help, we can say its gave me a preference on top model/stripper looking women. I am not saying I will not a date a GND woman but if I see a photo of a sexy stripper or top model, I will be stimulated to see a SP. Especially when I live in Downtown which is surrounded by Strip Club every corner.
I spent one whole year trying to find something I would like for a future job but nothing come up. I have no one close that know my situation except my brother but he never been a moral guy, he in fact encouraged me to see a SP for my first sex since I never got a girlfriend and I ended with a not so attractive SP who was like 10 years older than me as my first experience... with time I started learning where to check and all but my first experience is something I rather forget.
I just don't know where to go...
Look Pal, we are not psychologists here, so no one can help you with your depression.
But consider for a moment that your problem may not be that you want to see and bang beautiful women.
Who would not want that?
Your problem may be that you can't afford to pay for them.
****
In short, you may need a financial advisor, just as much as you need a psychologist.
I'll give you a few pointers:
NEVER borrow, for any reason, especially not for a woman. Do that and they will see you are weak and they will milk you for everything.
The only way back is to pay off your debts, get a job and put some money in the bank.
****
Until then, stay the heck away from the SPs.
And the first step to do that is to get away from the boards.
The hardest thing about quitting any addiction, (gambling, dope, cigarettes...and yeah broads) is staying away from the friends and other idiots who enable that addiction.
So get out of here, go make some money, and when you do come back.
Until that happens, your new best friends are the porn sites.
I am no professional, but I have never seen or heard of any depression that cannot be cured instantly by an hour with an SP....
Ya I have never heard of any depression that cannot be cured instantly with crack, doesn't mean I would recommend it. That's like trying to treat the symptoms rather than the cause. Also if you meet a bad SP it's very possible to be even more depressed after the session than you were before.
First thing I would recommend if you truly are depressed is start taking some 5-htp to raise your serotonin levels. Low serotonin levels can be causes of addiction and obsessive compulsive disorders. Secondly, take control of your life. Young guys should not be seeing SPs period. These are your prime years. If all you see are SPs then when will you ever learn how to meet and talk to a woman? When you're 30? 40? 50? and all you've ever known are hookers and your whole life has passed you by and you're in debt up to your ass? Habits are hard to break so it's better to form good ones from the start.
As for the guy saying he can't pick up because he has no muscles. I know plenty of fat guys who do great with the ladies. It really does come down to personality and confidence. All the muscles in the world won't help you if you have no game. And if you really want muscles, then they have these things called gyms. Nothing worth having comes without hard work. Now get out there and start changing your life one step at a time!
To: M. Batista Mason
M. Mason: it's good you recognize you have a problem...I am not sure a sex therapist can help you much. Actually coming to this board is a good thing because alot of us have had the same problems. I think patient group therapy (I don't know if this is the right terminology; I've been away too long from psycho-pathology) could be helpful.
Good thing you recognize you have a spending problem. Like others have said, do NOT go into debt to hobby. Budget your spending by year or quarter. When you hit the limit for the year or quarter, stop until New Year or the next quarter.
I was going to spend only 50% of what I spent last year (as part of my austerity program). I end spending 80% by the beginning of July. I knew I had to stop. I am not saying this is easy but you need to start somewhere. You need to set goals.
I knew I won't be able to quit the hobby but I wanted to limit my spending and just hobby less frequently. I didn't succeed in meeting my goal this year but at least I decreased my spending. Next year, I'll definitely succeed.
Looking for love in the hobby is harder than winning the 6/49! You should not look for love here. You are looking for quick and easy sex.
M. Mason: it's good you recognize you have a problem...I am not sure a sex therapist can help you much. Actually coming to this board is a good thing because alot of us have had the same problems. I think patient group therapy (I don't know if this is the right terminology; I've been away too long from psycho-pathology) could be helpful.
Good thing you recognize you have a spending problem. Like others have said, do NOT go into debt to hobby. Budget your spending by year or quarter. When you hit the limit for the year or quarter, stop until New Year or the next quarter.
I was going to spend only 50% of what I spent last year (as part of my austerity program). I end spending 80% by the beginning of July. I knew I had to stop. I am not saying this is easy but you need to start somewhere. You need to set goals.
I knew I won't be able to quit the hobby but I wanted to limit my spending and just hobby less frequently. I didn't succeed in meeting my goal this year but at least I decreased my spending. Next year, I'll definitely succeed.
Looking for love in the hobby is harder than winning the 6/49! You should not look for love here. You are looking for quick and easy sex.
Yeah, if you're looking for companionship by seeing an SP, that's bad. Buying anything unnecessary that you can't afford, that's bad. I wish I could give some advice though. Maybe try and keep holding out for as long as you can? Going cold turkey might not be feasible.
Also if you're depressed you should probably get out of your depression before you start looking seriously for a companion... Also like you met all your new friends, friends come and go. And searching for love, you said you spent a year on it but many people spend many many years.
Also if you're depressed you should probably get out of your depression before you start looking seriously for a companion... Also like you met all your new friends, friends come and go. And searching for love, you said you spent a year on it but many people spend many many years.
To: M. Batista Mason:
I read you are trying to find a job/profession. That is the only cure. These girls are here for fantasies and they will be with you for the rest of your life and you will have to accept that. Nothing wrong with seeing them but less frequent, spending some time and energy build a profession no matter how lousy it is. At least you earn some money for things you really like to do. Believe me a little bit distraction help you not feeling lost.
I read you are trying to find a job/profession. That is the only cure. These girls are here for fantasies and they will be with you for the rest of your life and you will have to accept that. Nothing wrong with seeing them but less frequent, spending some time and energy build a profession no matter how lousy it is. At least you earn some money for things you really like to do. Believe me a little bit distraction help you not feeling lost.
alot of SSRI's out there that can help your situation. ask ur doc abt meds like zoloft or anafranil. are u being followed by any psychiatrist?
Sorry for the late reply. I managed to find a job which helped me feel better. While I still want to see SPs, I have a better control of it.
One other way would be to consult a doctor & explain to him that you cannot control your libido anymore. Tell him that you jerk off 3-4 times a day and it's starting to cause problems in your personal & professional lives. Ask him if he could prescribe you medication to decrease your testosterone levels.
Well to go back to Batista Mason, there is a good point there, since last june, I found a more fulfilling job and since then, I am less impulsive about hobbying. I have more control. Sometimes I feel more free when the urge to hobby is absent. But still, it doesn't mean I am fully recovered.
I still have the addiction, it doesn't go overnight. I tried to leave this hobby for years now but to no avail… However the need to hobby is less present but you never know, sometimes it just grabs you out of nowhere before you know it.
I still have the addiction, it doesn't go overnight. I tried to leave this hobby for years now but to no avail… However the need to hobby is less present but you never know, sometimes it just grabs you out of nowhere before you know it.
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