Is this not prejudice?

[suikoden_45]

Recently got into a disagreement with my brothers fiance about myself being in the military, she said "she could never date anyone who is in the military," I responded that this is a prejudice she holds and then that's when the conversation got unpleasant. Just trying to figure out if this is a prejudice or a simple preference or if I'm way off the mark? If I were to say I would never date an escort, police officer, stripper, politician, etc. and lumped everyone into the same category before actually meeting the person, would this not be prejudice? When I think about all the jobs in the military (marching band, cook, postal service, mortuary affairs) I find it hard not to take it personal.

 

[ManApart]

I wouldn't say prejudice, just ignorant.

 

[lgna69xxx]

I'd say it is more Personal Preference more so than prejudice. To each their own. Who really cares? I have heard the exact opposite where many ladies only want military guys.. again, who cares?

Recently got into a disagreement with my brothers fiance about myself being in the military, she said "she could never date anyone who is in the military," I responded that this is a prejudice she holds and then that's when the conversation got unpleasant. Just trying to figure out if this is a prejudice or a simple preference or if I'm way off the mark? If I were to say I would never date an escort, police officer, stripper, politician, etc. and lumped everyone into the same category before actually meeting the person, would this not be prejudice? When I think about all the jobs in the military (marching band, cook, postal service, mortuary affairs) I find it hard not to take it personal.

 

[sweetwater]

I wouldn't say prejudice, just ignorant.

And totally disrespectful. I guess that might make it a prejudice after all. Yes, that is a prejudice.
Thank you for your service, suikoden_45. :thumb:
Sweetwater

 

[anon_vlad]

A young acquaintance of mine told me that half the women he meets immediately lose interest when he admits his occupation - teacher. Sadly, military personnel are even more severely underpaid. Perhaps that is the underlying reason for her to abhor military men. The military culture, as depicted in the media, doesn't appeal to all either. In any case, let's hope that she and your brother live happily ever after and she never dates anyone else (military member or not) ever again.

Prejudice? I think that many a billion women worldwide are prejudiced against poor men and just as many of us (men) look past unattractive women.

 

[muffinbuffer]

Of course it's absolutely prejudice, by definition.

Prejudice refers to judging before one has enough specific data to be informed (pre-judging), usually on the basis of some superficial and easily identifiable attribute.

Although prejudice is a loaded term, it's not always bad and it's often unavoidable. I have a prejudice towards lithe brunettes. They may not be bendy, snug, and give great blowjobs, but I tend to gravitate towards them as if these things were true before I have any way of knowing if this is actually the case. Preferences for blondes, against fake tits, for Fords vs. Chevies, against a particular national cuisine, for Air Force over Navy, etc. are all very common and gloss over vast ranges of individual variation and exceptions to whatever is the perceived rule.

I suspect what was really meant by asking if this is prejudice (since it's obvious that it is) was really whether it was fair or rational. It is of course neither of those. That's also the nature of prejudice.

It does sort of raise the question of why this matters since presumably you don't WANT your brother's fiancee dating anyone in the military.

 

[evillethings]

Recently got into a disagreement with my brothers fiance ...

suikoden, the important thing here is to remember that it's your brother's problem... i mean fiancee! :lol:
seriously, let it go... if she's too thick to realize it would be insulting and potentially taken personally by a member of the family who's in the military, then there's little to no hope of her realizing her statement could have any possible negative tones. bottomline: it'd be like arguing with a piece of wood!

however, if you want the silver lining... again remember you're not the one engaged to this dense piece of [ insert childish name calling term here ]!

longshot: maybe she meant it in sappy "i'd never want to risk losing my guy to combat" type way... like i said, it's a longshot that's where she was coming from.

 

[suikoden_45]

A young acquaintance of mine told me that half the women he meets immediately lose interest when he admits his occupation - teacher. Sadly, military personnel are even more severely underpaid. Perhaps that is the underlying reason for her to abhor military men. The military culture, as depicted in the media, doesn't appeal to all either. In any case, let's hope that she and your brother live happily ever after and she never dates anyone else (military member or not) ever again. Prejudice? I think that many a billion women worldwide are prejudiced against poor men and just as many of us (men) look past unattractive women.

I agree, no matter what someone always will find something to not like about you, unless your a celebrity and are perfect, but it's how you react to bias/preferences that matter...thanks.

 

[longtimers]

Recently got into a disagreement with my brothers fiance about myself being in the military, she said "she could never date anyone who is in the military," I responded that this is a prejudice she holds and then that's when the conversation got unpleasant. Just trying to figure out if this is a prejudice or a simple preference or if I'm way off the mark? If I were to say I would never date an escort, police officer, stripper, politician, etc. and lumped everyone into the same category before actually meeting the person, would this not be prejudice? When I think about all the jobs in the military (marching band, cook, postal service, mortuary affairs) I find it hard not to take it personal.

suikoden,
Let's say military is there not for making a product, not for making money... I can go on and on but at some point they are their also to kill people legally. I can compare this to the mafia at some level. Would you say you work for the mafia... as a driver... a gun expert... a pimp!?!? I think that's more of what your brother fiance is thinking of.
But I have to say she's full of prejudice.

Longtimer

 

[StefanoUS]

Recently got into a disagreement with my brothers fiance about myself being in the military, she said "she could never date anyone who is in the military," I find it hard not to take it personal.

Don't worry about it suikoden. Many women are intimidated by real men, they like the more effiminate guys like that pussy Steven Tyler from Aerosmith.

Thank you for your service to your country.

 

[wasisname]

Don't worry about it suikoden. Many women are intimidated by real men, they like the more effiminate guys like that pussy Steven Tyler from Aerosmith.

Thank you for your service to your country.

Maybe some women prefer their dudes not to be brain washed, dumb and knucke draggy.

The military attracts a certain type in the absence of conscription and there is a brain washing procedure. Granted some people are worse than others. I've know people who were quite sane, and others who made Patrick Bateman look normal.

 

[Ricky bonds]

prejudice, and preference...what a fine line that is.
i think the fact that she wouldnt date someone in the military could stem from a fear of having her boyfriend killed in action, or from a political point of view.
believe it or not, some people are very anti-war, and dont believe in solving violence with violence.
..... so in your case i think that would be her personal preference.

an odd example of the same type of fine line is my taste in women..and an argument that got out of control due to what i believe is my personal preference.
i have many jamaican,haitian, and sudanese friends... and it is very clear that i have no issues with any race,culture,colour,creed,or religion..
however, in my tastes of women..i just feel no attraction whatsoever towards black women.
i would never date one, and the 3 encounters ive had were not pleasent at all..so i choose to not see any, or sleep with any.
but as a friend, for sure..i love everybody.
anyways, a lady friend of mine who happens to be jamaican got really pissed off when we discussed this, and she says that isnt a preference..it is racism.
i feel that its my choice, and my right to choose, and feel what stimulates me sexually...but apparently some find that a form of prejudice.

 

[Siocnarf]

i feel that its my choice, and my right to choose, and feel what stimulates me sexually...but apparently some find that a form of prejudice.

Personnally, I'm a sexist, because I refuse to sleep with men.:lol:

Whether its preference or prejudice it really depends on her reason. Saying all military people are bad would be prejudice, saying you just don't like them is a preference

 

[HG Hunter]

Interesting. When I read what the lady had said, the first reason that popped into my head was that she may not want to become emotionally attached to or fall in love with or married to someone who is in the military because of the possible danger and risk that it involves.
It may be somewhat narrow minded on her part, but if that was her reasoning, then she would likely never want to be with a cop or a firefighter, etc.

 

[hungry101]

Of course it's absolutely prejudice, by definition.

It does sort of raise the question of why this matters since presumably you don't WANT your brother's fiancee dating anyone in the military.

Because Suikoden_45 was insulted. Why make a blanket statement like this? Maybe she is concerned that her boyfirend would be away too often and she would worry that he is putting himself in harms way for very little return? These are ligitimate concerns.

 

[suikoden_45]

prejudice, and preference...what a fine line that is. i think the fact that she wouldnt date someone in the military could stem from a fear of having her boyfriend killed in action, or from a political point of view. believe it or not, some people are very anti-war, and dont believe in solving violence with violence. ..... so in your case i think that would be her personal preference. an odd example of the same type of fine line is my taste in women..and an argument that got out of control due to what i believe is my personal preference. i have many jamaican,haitian, and sudanese friends... and it is very clear that i have no issues with any race,culture,colour,creed,or religion.. however, in my tastes of women..i just feel no attraction whatsoever towards black women. i would never date one, and the 3 encounters ive had were not pleasent at all..so i choose to not see any, or sleep with any. but as a friend, for sure..i love everybody. anyways, a lady friend of mine who happens to be jamaican got really pissed off when we discussed this, and she says that isnt a preference..it is racism. i feel that its my choice, and my right to choose, and feel what stimulates me sexually...but apparently some find that a form of prejudice.

this really seems to me the gist our disagreement, thanks.

 

[Turbodick]

Recently got into a disagreement with my brothers fiance about myself being in the military, she said "she could never date anyone who is in the military,"

I find it hard not to take it personal.

She's your future relative so let it go. You should just appreciate that she is straightforward and not a deceptive person. There's a lot to be said for this quality.