Long term arrangements
- Thread starter r00t
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Good points, Patron. I also don't think SA will replace "what was lost." Though we still don't know what has been permanently lost-don't underestimate the ability of a market and buyers and sellers in that market to adjust to restrictions on their activities. A new stage of the "The War on Sex" has been launched but keep in mind that the "War on Drugs" has been going on for several decades and yet people who want to buy and sell drugs still find a way to do so.
As for budgetary considerations, as I have already noted, I spend the same per encounter with a local sugar baby as I would spend on an average escort. But for the same price, I get more time with a woman that I consider to be a more desirable and better looking than the average escort in my area. So I view SA the way some people view Airbnb or Uber, i.e., you get more for the same price or less. Nevertheless I understand that some people just prefer escorts the same way that some people just prefer hotels and taxis to Airbnb and Uber.
I agree that SA is mainly for arrangements in the area where you live and that it probably doesn't work well when you travel. However, I have had arrangements when I travel though I didn't use SA. In one case, I made an arrangement with a Filipina nanny in Singapore that I met on dateinasia.com. In another case, I made an arrangement with a Thai woman that I met in a HK bar (I told the story in the international section of MERB).
I have wondered whether SA might work for a visitor to Montreal. I think it could though given how well the escort scene works, you have to wonder whether it would be worthwhile for a visitor to Montreal to use SA. I don't know. But I'm tempted to at least give it a try.
Based on my experience with SA, I don't find that story fascinating at all. I would characterize as misleading and sensationalist.
The reality of SA is much more mundane than the picture painted by the story and the woman. I don't doubt that she has encountered some weird guys. I have heard the same thing from some women that I have met on SA and I'm actually glad to hear that. To me it means that it's not that easy for women to find guys who treat them with respect and kindness. It's not that different from encountering women in the escort world or civilian life. Yes, women want material benefits from men but they also want to be treated well.
I'm also very skeptical of her claims to not understand the nature of SA and her claim that she thought it was just another dating site. Yeah, right.
She knew exactly what she was doing and when it didn't work out the way she planned, she decided to generate publicity for her "career" (such as it is) as an actress. But I don't think it will help.
Do you mean it's not that hard for women to find guys who treat them all right? Otherwise it seems an odd thing to be glad about.
Based on my small sample size of SA women that I have met, it does seem to be hard for women to find decent, respectful guys on SA. My remark about that was partly in jest and partly serious. I'm not happy that any individual woman has had a bad experience. But I'm just noting that this fact presents an opportunity to guys who treat the SA women they meet with decency and respect.
Keep in mind that the women on SA are amateurs. They are taking a big risk by venturing into the realm of paid relationships. Also, they are seeking someone with whom they can feel comfortable meeting on a regular basis.
They will naturally be less tolerant of guys who treat them as if they were an escort with whom they would meet only one time just for sex. Yet there seem to be a lot of guys who don't appreciate that women on SA are more much more cautious and easily turned off by certain attitudes and behaviors than an experienced escort might not like but would shrug off. So that's an opportunity for guys who understand the point of view of women on SA. And so I'm glad that SA seems to be a realm where nice guys finish first.
For the record, I treat all women, whether civilians, escorts or sugar babies with decency and respect. That even goes for feminists.
I have yet to see a news story that treated Seekingarrangment.com accurately and fairly. There's always an undertone of disapproval, luridness and sensationalism. It's usually the same with news stories on escorts...though maybe worse.
I definitely have not taken anything I read in the media on SA seriously. All of the stories are written in disapproving, paternalistic, condescending tones, which presume that SA is merely a covert form of prostitution. My experience has been that SA encompasses a much broader range of economic transactions than are written about or imagined by most in the media.
In April Brandon Wade, founder and principal owner of seeking arrangement dot com posted this video in reaction to the passing of the FOSTA law.
https://youtu.be/QJi3H4NNTQE
It’s clear from his remarks that he is somewhat concerned that law enforcement could use the new law to intimidate and shut down SA in the same way that they did for other sites like Backpage, TER, etc. In the video he asks users of the site to report “escorts and prostitutes” that are using SA.
It would not be as easy to target SA as it was to target Backpage, but it could be done and I would not underestimate the determination of religious and gender feminist zealots to get rid of any website connected with the exchange of money for sex, even if it is a site like SA that characterizes itsel as a dating site.
I think Wade and his managers take this threat seriously and they are probably policing the site more strictly than ever. That might include reading SA private messages.
If you use SA, then I would advise you never to discuss financial arrangements in SA private messages. Take those discussions off the site to either in-person meetings, text messsages or phone calls.
Though I have not heard of law enforcement using undercover officers to entrap users of SA, it could happen. The best defense for a guy is to carefully screen potential sugar babies and always meet them first in person for a get-to-know-you session in a neutral location like a coffee shop. I think the risk is very small or non-existent at the moment but now that most of the major sex work sites have been shut down, you never know what could happen with SA.
https://youtu.be/QJi3H4NNTQE
It’s clear from his remarks that he is somewhat concerned that law enforcement could use the new law to intimidate and shut down SA in the same way that they did for other sites like Backpage, TER, etc. In the video he asks users of the site to report “escorts and prostitutes” that are using SA.
It would not be as easy to target SA as it was to target Backpage, but it could be done and I would not underestimate the determination of religious and gender feminist zealots to get rid of any website connected with the exchange of money for sex, even if it is a site like SA that characterizes itsel as a dating site.
I think Wade and his managers take this threat seriously and they are probably policing the site more strictly than ever. That might include reading SA private messages.
If you use SA, then I would advise you never to discuss financial arrangements in SA private messages. Take those discussions off the site to either in-person meetings, text messsages or phone calls.
Though I have not heard of law enforcement using undercover officers to entrap users of SA, it could happen. The best defense for a guy is to carefully screen potential sugar babies and always meet them first in person for a get-to-know-you session in a neutral location like a coffee shop. I think the risk is very small or non-existent at the moment but now that most of the major sex work sites have been shut down, you never know what could happen with SA.
I'm wondering whether any visitors to Montreal have ever used Seeking Arrangement to seek out a "short-term" sugar baby while traveling (especially to Montreal or Quebec City). If so, what was your experience?
Of course I realize that it's very easy, safe and relatively inexpensive to meet great escorts in Montreal. Been there, done that many many times. But meeting a sugar baby would be a different experience and variety is the spice of life.
I've had very good luck with a few SB's, one in particular, where I live. There are a lot of appealing women from Montreal and Quebec City on SA. I'm tempted to give this a try in preparation for an upcoming trip.
Of course I realize that it's very easy, safe and relatively inexpensive to meet great escorts in Montreal. Been there, done that many many times. But meeting a sugar baby would be a different experience and variety is the spice of life.
I've had very good luck with a few SB's, one in particular, where I live. There are a lot of appealing women from Montreal and Quebec City on SA. I'm tempted to give this a try in preparation for an upcoming trip.
Men who importunate women half their age earn the ridicule they receive. How many of us exhibited interest in middle aged or older women when we were in our twenties?
Q for anyone who knows about the registration process.... what stuff do you need to provide? email address, phone number.... or does SA, once logged in, have it's own Message box (kinda like here). They also prob need your real name and private info?
You just need an email address. SA specifically tells you not to use real names. SA does have messaging for those who register and pay. If you don't pay, you can not send or read your messages meaning that the date offers or responses go unread by you. There are various filters and settings to screen who can see your profile and whose profiles you see, by age, race, height, body type etc.
Eager is right. Though it's fun to create a profile on SA and just browse profiles of women, you do need to provide some personal info when you pay for a membership (as with any credit card transaction). Guys need a paid membership in order to exchange messages with other members. However, women do not need a paid membership to exchange messages with other members. DISCRIMINATION! ...Who cares.
Women can't tell whether a guy has a current paid membership so they will send messages to him not knowing whether he can read them and reply. So there is an incentive to pay for a membership.
But just a one month membership can go a long way. My most recent one month only membership resulted in 3 paid sexual encounters. One of the women became my current regular whom I have been meeting about once every 3-4 weeks for 2-2.5 hour encounters. And she's much younger than me. Take that, Lucy Holden (girl quoted in Patron's article)!
...Who cares. Women can't tell whether a guy has a current paid membership so they will send messages to him not knowing whether he can read them and reply. So there is an incentive to pay for a membership.
But just a one month membership can go a long way. My most recent one month only membership resulted in 3 paid sexual encounters. One of the women became my current regular whom I have been meeting about once every 3-4 weeks for 2-2.5 hour encounters. And she's much younger than me. Take that, Lucy Holden (girl quoted in Patron's article)!
Men who importunate women?
A man cannot "importunate" a woman...because importunate is an adjective, not a verb. Why didn't you just say "are interested in" or "try to date?" Don't try to use big words when plain English will communicate your meaning.
As for older men being attracted to younger women, that's a completely normal phenomenon based on the way we have evolved over millennia. Men, no matter what their age, want to mate with women who are healthy and fertile as demonstrated by youth and physical attractiveness. But most older men won't get anywhere with younger women unless they have $.
It's also normal for women to be attracted to men who can provide them with resources (i.e., a home, food, clothing, support for children, and lots of cash). Older men are often in a better position than younger men to provide those resources so it's natural for women to be attracted to older men. Ideally women want both access to resources and physical attractiveness and youthfulness in a man but they can't always find men with both. Sometimes they settle for the sign of future earning power in a younger man, such as a Harvard MBA or Med School degree.
As for the attractiveness of older women, I would say that some women can remain attractive up to and even sometimes beyond age 60. One of the three sugar babies that I met, one is 42 and she is still a very attractive woman- a real MILF. The other two are also MILF types but younger-30ish. I generally avoid interacting with any woman on SA younger than 25.
Men who importunate women?
A man cannot "importunate" a woman...because importunate is an adjective, not a verb. Why didn't you just say "are interested in" or "try to date?" Don't try to use big words when plain English will communicate your meaning.....
As for the attractiveness of older women, I would say that some women can remain attractive up to and even sometimes beyond age 60. One of the three sugar babies that I met, one is 42 and she is still a very attractive woman- a real MILF. The other two are also MILF types but younger-30ish. I generally avoid interacting with any woman on SA younger than 25.
1) Importunate was simply the first word which came to mind. It means to bother, not to simply to be interested. I prefer a precise "big" word to imprecise little ones.
It definitely does exist as a verb.
https://pasttenses.com/importunate-past-tense
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/importunate#Verb
It's nice of you to attempt to improve my English. It would be even nicer if your advice was correct.
2) I didn't state that older women couldn't be attractive, but only that young men are not usually interested in them. I agree with your argument that all men have evolved a preference for young women as they are, on the average, more fertile than older women.
You can't conjugate an adjective. It's meaningless to do so. It does not mean "to bother" (verb) But it can mean "bothersome" (adjective).
Both the online Webster and Oxford dictionaries define "importuante" as an adjective and only an adjective. You can add an "ly" and also use it as an adverb.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/importunate
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/importunate
Anon, I suspect your native language is not English. That's fine, but all the more reason not to use a big word when you are unsure of its part of speech.
English evolves. "Impact" was originally a noun, but is now commonly used as a verb and appears in the dictionairy as both now. Did you correct everyone who used "impact" as a verb? In the case of "importunate", it derives from a french verb and was certainly used in English as one. I have seen it in writing as one.
You cite two authorities which recognize importunate as only an adjective. I cited two which suggest otherwise. It is therefore not obvious that I am in error by using it as a verb. I find it amusing that with all the more serious errors in English usage that one sees on this and every forum that you chose to attempt such a piddly correction. Certainly, the meaning was clear.
I will give you some unsolicited advice - don't be condescending when providing unsolicited advice.
You cite two authorities which recognize importunate as only an adjective. I cited two which suggest otherwise. It is therefore not obvious that I am in error by using it as a verb. I find it amusing that with all the more serious errors in English usage that one sees on this and every forum that you chose to attempt such a piddly correction. Certainly, the meaning was clear.
I will give you some unsolicited advice - don't be condescending when providing unsolicited advice.
Lol. I had the same reaction. What you failed to consider is that perhaps "importunate" is a verb in Anon's native Bulgarian.Men who importunate women?
A man cannot "importunate" a woman...because importunate is an adjective, not a verb. Why didn't you just say "are interested in" or "try to date?" Don't try to use big words when plain English will communicate your meaning.
Anon does make the point that nouns and adjectives sometimes do morph into verbs. However, in each and every one of these cases, the word morphed is one in common use. "Importunate" is not in common use.
FYI, according to the OED, "importunate" is an adjective, and only an adjective. There is, however, a verb probably the word Anon intended "importune." End of story.
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