Long term arrangements
- Thread starter r00t
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I agree. That’s why I and several other merbites have not entered into true long-term arrangements that involve weekly or monthly allowances. We treat SA like an advertising site for “amateur” escorts. We make initial contacts on the site, and exchange some messages without touching on financial details.
Then we meet the woman at a coffee shop or restaurant and if we both click, then we negotiate a per-encounter rate for each meeting. There is an unspoken understanding that the arrangement might continue as long as both parties remain satisfied with the deal.
My arrangements have lasted varying numbers of encounters: 1 time, 2 times, 13 times and 2 times. Yes, it takes time to research, exchange messages, meet offline and negotiate a deal. It’s not like calling an agency or walking into a massage parlor and getting almost immediate satisfaction.
But given how much the moral panic about paid sex has negatively impacted the commercial sex business in most of the U.S, SA is a worthwhile and sometimes very rewarding alternative for guys.
The people who post on Seeking that haven’t actually used the service don’t get what’s on there. What’s on there is everything from personalized booking of escorts to PFP per meet arrangements to weekly and monthly arrangements to sexy/nude pics arrangements, to dating to platonic social eye candy arrangements, all of which are negotiable. There seem to be a lot of people, or perhaps sheep, who have been brainwashed to believe that the website is for rich dudes only. It’s beyond laughably false. The downside to the website, in reality, is the time commitment needed. For a single guy with a reasonable amount of free time it’s doable but for many it’s not. My ability to use the website successfully improved over time (there are rules to be learned) and earlier in this thread I posted the basic rules that one must use to achieve success on that website.
I have continued to see a lady I met on the website for 2 years. I would estimate we have 5 friendly (platonic) social lunch or dinner dates, for which I do not give her an allowance, to every 1 sexual dinner date, for which I do. That’s just how it happened to evolve over time but there is no such thing as a standard arrangement. An arrangement is whatever 2 people mutually negotiate and want it to be.
I have continued to see a lady I met on the website for 2 years. I would estimate we have 5 friendly (platonic) social lunch or dinner dates, for which I do not give her an allowance, to every 1 sexual dinner date, for which I do. That’s just how it happened to evolve over time but there is no such thing as a standard arrangement. An arrangement is whatever 2 people mutually negotiate and want it to be.
If you don’t mind wasting your time and meeting up with a bunch of desperate ladies, I say go for it
You sound like a taxi driver stereotyping Uber drivers as inferior. It’s unbecoming for you to look down on women who choose to make some money by selling sex in a manner different from how you do it. Do you think you’re selling something different?
Seeking is to MERB what AirBnB is to hotels and what Uber is to taxis. It’s competition with a different business model. Different business models are easy to insult, but these must also be feared. Competition is good for the consumer.
I am in no way judging or insulting women on SA. Until last week I had an account.
I’ve just noticed SA was full of time wasters men and women.
I also like poor assumptions
Yeah Eager Beaver is right - there really are range of girls and scenarios on Seeking that run the entire spectrum of sex work. There are even girls on there who are treating is an honest to goodness dating website. It really is anything and everything. It just takes time and effort in a way that dealing with an agency in a place like Montreal does not take.
It does include many time wasters, but if you are comparing Seeking to escort agencies you are missing the point. As Eager Beaver points out in the other thread, there are all kinds of girls on Seeking that are offering a broad range of arrangements - not just straight pay for play. Some of that time wasting is actually people figuring out whether they are a match or not. Its just different.
The hunting for the good one is what makes it so much more fun and rewarding. When you find the right one the sky is the limit. This is more similar to dating. The arrangements come in all ranges and types there are no set rules. Now booking an escort to me is what I call the pizza delivery experience. Not really my thing. The setup is just too business for my liking. It is a different game. Different strokes for different folks.
It’s the above, plus the fact that on Seeking most girls will have (at least in their private area) full face and body pics. And if they don’t they will send them via text off the website once you establish a rapport and they give you their number. You will never get a facial pic from most escorts, even indies.
Potential AirBnB guests message me and ask me if my room is clean and will they be able they fit all their stuff in it.
Yes, my well-off buddy said SA was too much like dating.
I would encourage everyone who wants to discuss this topic to go to the SA thread somethingelse posted in comment #2. Before you initiate a thread, you should do a search. SA has been discussed in great detail with some members offering their experiences.
This is the classic "different strokes for different folks".
Having said that, IMO, SPs and real life dating are at the opposite ends of the spectrum. You choose either pricey convenience or time consuming but free (at least to start). The 2 endeavors are completely different and can never be confused with one another. This makes my life simpler, and it's greatly appreciated.
SA, however, straddles and blurs the line between the two. It's elastic, as in it can veer towards one end or the other, depending on your arrangement with each individual SB. Some ppl prefer this, as it offers flexibility. Others find it too complicated and time consuming. Both views have its points. I lean towards the latter.
It comes down to what you are looking for. Just Sex? Romance? A bit of both?
If it's just sex, then surely SP is the simplest way to go. There's something to be said about keeping life as simple as possible (for those who say it's cheaper to find those rare SBs who charge less but are just as good; well, power to you. For me, all the time that's needed to search & find those gems, plus the disclosure of personal info are just not worth it.
If it's for romance, then SPs are definitely the wrong place to look. On SA, unlike in real life, you are still only meeting girls who've been "pre-screened" to have indicated that they're willing to trade sex for money, at least in some capacity. Their #1 motive is still money, which isn't the best foundation for love, wouldn't you agree? Also, you are only seeing one segment of the dating pool, because not every eligible female will be on SA. You are missing out on all the others.
The 3rd option is the most intriguing. This is for guys who want it all. They want to play all the fields. Probably see SPs, as well as SBs, maybe dating in real life too. If you are one of them, god bless you. You clearly are operating on a higher plane than me. I can barely manage to keep one lady happy at any one moment.
As I mentioned before, I greatly appreciate the simplicity of SPs. Life is complicated as it is. They provide a welcome break now and then. When I look at SA, my number one reaction is always "careful what you wish for".
Having said that, IMO, SPs and real life dating are at the opposite ends of the spectrum. You choose either pricey convenience or time consuming but free (at least to start). The 2 endeavors are completely different and can never be confused with one another. This makes my life simpler, and it's greatly appreciated.
SA, however, straddles and blurs the line between the two. It's elastic, as in it can veer towards one end or the other, depending on your arrangement with each individual SB. Some ppl prefer this, as it offers flexibility. Others find it too complicated and time consuming. Both views have its points. I lean towards the latter.
It comes down to what you are looking for. Just Sex? Romance? A bit of both?
If it's just sex, then surely SP is the simplest way to go. There's something to be said about keeping life as simple as possible (for those who say it's cheaper to find those rare SBs who charge less but are just as good; well, power to you. For me, all the time that's needed to search & find those gems, plus the disclosure of personal info are just not worth it.
If it's for romance, then SPs are definitely the wrong place to look. On SA, unlike in real life, you are still only meeting girls who've been "pre-screened" to have indicated that they're willing to trade sex for money, at least in some capacity. Their #1 motive is still money, which isn't the best foundation for love, wouldn't you agree? Also, you are only seeing one segment of the dating pool, because not every eligible female will be on SA. You are missing out on all the others.
The 3rd option is the most intriguing. This is for guys who want it all. They want to play all the fields. Probably see SPs, as well as SBs, maybe dating in real life too. If you are one of them, god bless you. You clearly are operating on a higher plane than me. I can barely manage to keep one lady happy at any one moment.
As I mentioned before, I greatly appreciate the simplicity of SPs. Life is complicated as it is. They provide a welcome break now and then. When I look at SA, my number one reaction is always "careful what you wish for".
Yes, I have seen that. It seems like a bad idea to confuse romance with "arrangement". Now does that mean a purely romantic, long-term relationship can't develop, of course it's possible and it probably happens from time to time.
I don’t know how much of this is real and how much of this is mental gymnastics to provide distinction between SB and escort in the SB’s mind. The mental gymnastics of justification can be extreme and they don’t need to make any sense in your mind, only the SB’s. Don’t accept anything you read at face value.
I met a SB in Montreal one time around 4 years ago. Beautiful girl- around 20 years old, mixed French Canadian and Bajan. She made it clear to me that sex was not available on the first date, but it might be on the second date, if she liked me and I had good manners. The reasoning was that “I am not an escort.” Thus by ruling out sex on a first date, she carefully delineated and distinguished herself as a SB and not an escort.
It doesn’t need to make sense to you Sambuca, and I respectfully submit that if you try to apply your own sense of logic to SB statements in their profiles, you are wasting your energy. I quickly learned the language of Seeking and the logic of Seeking is different. I try and read it and interpret it as an archeologist would hieroglyphics. I don’t look for sense and meaning but only the bottom line.
I did have sex with that lady on the second date. Once a second date happened, then it was destined. She was what I would call a PFP screener- never has sex on a first date but will on the second provided that you pass her tests, whatever they are, but usually that you aren’t creepy and don’t look like Jabba The Hutt’s younger brother. That particular lady was very big on manners and politeness. I remember that. Impolite dates wouldn’t have had a second date with her.
There are many PFP screener types on Seeking, but as noted above, there is everything on that website. There is something on there to satisfy almost every person if they have the time and energy to look for it.
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