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Normal dating & true love after years of hobbying

ekzarh

Member
Apr 21, 2013
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69
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So I met a girl, who is smart, beautiful and amazing. We have a big enough gap of age, but I feel an amazing energy & connection.

We spent the last 3 days together (that I took as vacations from my family, as I am married). After a 3rd straight day of sex, I was so tired that I even lost my hardness in the middle of a long evening act (she came by the way).

Now I am wondering if I saw her “too much”, as I’ve never had multiple acts morning and night, multiple days in a row and now I also kind of started comparing her to the girls I saw (physically) while hobbying ..

Her BBBJ technique is not on the same level as the SPs I am used seeing (she is only in her 20s and obviously didn’t have as many partners) and I also kind of get a feel that physically I want a new girl even though emotionally I want her.

Did it happen to you guys, did you feel a bit too old and too “seasoned” in similar situations?

I think asking for a “break” in bedroom activities might be offensive and how do you deal with the urge to go and see somebody new?

What I am trying to say: did “hobbying” ruin my potential chance for true love? What kind of advices can you give?

P.S.
Feeling the need to vent out here :)
 
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Allnitelong

Member
Oct 18, 2020
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So I met a girl, who is smart, beautiful and amazing. We have a big enough gap of age, but I feel an amazing energy & connection.

We spent the last 3 days together (that I took as vacations from my family, as I am married). After a 3rd straight day of sex, I was so tired that I even lost my hardness in the middle of a long evening act (she came by the way).

Now I am wondering if I saw her “too much”, as I’ve never had multiple acts morning and night, multiple days in a row and now I also kind of started comparing her to the girls I saw (physically) while hobbying ..

Her BBBJ technique is not on the same level as the SPs I am used seeing (she is only in her 20s and obviously didn’t have as many partners) and I also kind of get a feel that physically I want a new girl even though emotionally I want her.

Did it happen to you guys, did you feel a bit too old and too “seasoned” in similar situations?

I think asking for a “break” in bedroom activities might be offensive and how do you deal with the urge to go and see somebody new?

What I am trying to say: did “hobbying” ruin my potential chance for true love? What kind of advices can you give?

P.S.
Feeling the need to vent out here :)
Not judging but..,Married with children, a 20 something year old attraction and you still crave somebody new? Quite a lot to juggle but all the power to you. Decisions decisions…
 

ekzarh

Member
Apr 21, 2013
59
69
18
Not judging but..,Married with children, a 20 something year old attraction and you still crave somebody new? Quite a lot to juggle but all the power to you. Decisions decisions…
I am not entirely sure about somebody new, just a thought that passed through my mind once I compared with my SP experiences.

Also, I am a bit new to the “too much” action issue and afraid not to be able to perform on a level of a 20y old (fucking like rabbit all the time) …

Lastly, it’s the fear of a “fire burning too quickly” and that eventually I’ll be out of wood, lol
 
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bobbyc

Well-Known Member
Aug 6, 2011
340
491
63
its all an illusion if your little boy had sex for 3 days non stop he's in love but that won't last i hope the connection you talk about is real because that's the only thing that could keep you together and when real life kicks in you are desperatly going to need to remind yourself of that, being in a relationship is all about how much both parties are willing to compremize for each other, sorry but thats reality
 

Gazoo64

Well-Known Member
Apr 6, 2017
335
646
93
Wow! First of all, how did you manage to take a “vacation” alone, despite having a family? I guess any excuse would work, but just wondering.

What’s your end game? If it works out with this young lady, you’ll leave your wife? Or you’ll keep having these 2-3 day flings with that lady, despite being married?

You say the sex is not as great as with SPs, but you’re having non-stop sex. As mentioned earlier, a relationship is built around more than just sex.

Anyway, not sure what advice to give you, as I have more questions than answers! lol!
 

gaby

Well-Known Member
Jul 31, 2011
10,195
6,818
113
Can't agree more....getting older ''an happy/lasting relationship is built around more than just sex'.........avec les années l'amour prend différents visages.....outre le sexe la communication/compréhension et le plaisir de vivre ensemble deviennent des éléments essentiels.....on est comblé par la vie quand ça se produit....nous sommes alors privilégié....
 

Paykah

Active Member
Nov 8, 2016
268
233
43
Did it happen to you guys, did you feel a bit too old and too “seasoned” in similar situations?
Haha... yes to all the above lol

Bro, I feel you. Let's cut right to it...this "hobby" will create distorted views of sex, relationships and even love.
You are in the middle of it all and you can't see your way clear. Like a boat in a storm and you can't possibly know what direction to navigate.

Take a giant step back and breathe, ;-)
Are you looking for love? sex? companionship? Find out what it is you are really in need of (even if that need is in fact an addiction). If you had to give up one thing, would it be the hot new girlfriend, the hobby or the wife? Could you give up two of them?

Losing the wood could be because you are in conflict with one or all of the above (?)

I'm playing armchair psychoanalyst only because I'm in the same ocean bro.
good luck
 

ekzarh

Member
Apr 21, 2013
59
69
18
Wow! First of all, how did you manage to take a “vacation” alone, despite having a family? I guess any excuse would work, but just wondering.

What’s your end game? If it works out with this young lady, you’ll leave your wife? Or you’ll keep having these 2-3 day flings with that lady, despite being married?

You say the sex is not as great as with SPs, but you’re having non-stop sex. As mentioned earlier, a relationship is built around more than just sex.

Anyway, not sure what advice to give you, as I have more questions than answers! lol!
Not sure about endgame yet, everything may be on the table.

The sex is great, it’s just the frequency is something I am not used to with a 20y older wife and even an SP (I do think anybody here goes to SPs every day for the whole day).

Plus it’s different, there is passion which kind of makes you overlooking things like certain inexperience, but somehow thoughts do cross my mind that that thing was better with “lady A” or “lady B” :) If I did not have the hobbying experience, I don’t think something like that would have happened.
 
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ekzarh

Member
Apr 21, 2013
59
69
18
I don't judge, but when you say "true love", do you mean your wife, the girlfriend or SPs? The answer will probably be a good compass for the next steps.
As I was hobbying for the last 10 years, I thought it would be clear there is no love to my wife and we’re there only for the children ..

True love with the girl I met.
 

ekzarh

Member
Apr 21, 2013
59
69
18
Wow! First of all, how did you manage to take a “vacation” alone, despite having a family? I guess any excuse would work, but just wondering.

What’s your end game? If it works out with this young lady, you’ll leave your wife? Or you’ll keep having these 2-3 day flings with that lady, despite being married?

You say the sex is not as great as with SPs, but you’re having non-stop sex. As mentioned earlier, a relationship is built around more than just sex.

Anyway, not sure what advice to give you, as I have more questions than answers! lol!
I take vacations in the summer for sport related activities, which is okay with my wife, so there was no problem there.

Not a sustainable plan in the long term and when the summer is over, lol
 

Sylar

Well-Known Member
Jun 17, 2019
851
2,163
93
I did not know your background, but I do believe that love can be possible even without sex. Sorry to hear that this is not the case for you.

How would true love with the new girl impact the marriage and the children? And does true love for you mean, not saying SPs any more?
 
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ekzarh

Member
Apr 21, 2013
59
69
18
Did it happen to you guys, did you feel a bit too old and too “seasoned” in similar situations?
Haha... yes to all the above lol

Bro, I feel you. Let's cut right to it...this "hobby" will create distorted views of sex, relationships and even love.
You are in the middle of it all and you can't see your way clear. Like a boat in a storm and you can't possibly know what direction to navigate.

Take a giant step back and breathe, ;-)
Are you looking for love? sex? companionship? Find out what it is you are really in need of (even if that need is in fact an addiction). If you had to give up one thing, would it be the hot new girlfriend, the hobby or the wife? Could you give up two of them?

Losing the wood could be because you are in conflict with one or all of the above (?)

I'm playing armchair psychoanalyst only because I'm in the same ocean bro.
good luck
Thank you and good luck to you :)

I did give up hobbying for now.
 
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