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Off limits questions [please respect merb’s rules]

bodick7

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Dec 27, 2012
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No, I’m not. But your face may look noticeably bigger in person. Hence the ID comment.
As I'm not fully bilingual, I'm not sure I understand your comment...
 

Fradi

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Apr 9, 2019
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Around the corner
"Are you married?" - I am not, but I still find this a very questionable thing to ask. I would imagine that it could bother someone who is.
Actually I wouldn’t really mind and It would be kind of normal seeing as I still wear my wedding ring even though my wife passed away 10 years ago.
Actually I wear hers also on a chain. I doubt that I will ever take it off it is just my way of always having her close by and remembering the wonderful years we spent together as a family.
 

Fradi

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Apr 9, 2019
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Around the corner
Two questions I find offensive and I hate when asked.

  1. Do you have a girlfriend? Annoying as hell. If I had one I would not be booking an escort or need to.
  2. Where are you from? I hate this question. I am born in Canada. Just because I do not got white skin or blue eyes does not mean I am not Canadian. I like to leave it as that. As far as I am concerned my country of origin is Canada.
Now this question I find very offensive but only applies to strippers:

  1. They often ask me that I do not drink? I usually order Perrier or Cola. And they are so interested in what I am drinking and think I am an alien from another planet because I am not drinking alcohol. Who cares what I am drinking. Stop asking weird questions about what I am drinking.
The first 2 I can understand the drinking I think it is just natural curiosity on their part and a way to make some light conversation and perhaps to get to know a little about you. I don’t think it is that intrusive there are many people that don’t drink, some because of religion, some because they are recovering alcoholics and some simply because they don’t like the taste of alcohol and prefer a soft drink or Perrier water.
 
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Oberstdorf

Active Member
May 20, 2021
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  1. Do you have a girlfriend? Annoying as hell. If I had one I would not be booking an escort or need to.
  2. Where are you from? I hate this question. I am born in Canada. Just because I do not got white skin or blue eyes does not mean I am not Canadian. I like to leave it as that. As far as I am concerned my country of origin is Canada.
MY opinion on this :

1. "If I had one I would not be booking an escort or need to". Not everyone is like you. I understand it might be offensive to you, but most of the time they are just trying to make conversation.

2. Again, probably just trying to make conversation. They are probably asking what's your ethnicity. How are they supposed to know that you are born and raised here if they don't ask?

Again this is just my opinion but you shouldn't take it too hard if a SP asks you that since they don't know those questions are offensive to you.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's valid feelings.
 

Sylar

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Jun 17, 2019
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5- Do you live in trees ?
( omg I did get that question when I first arrived in Canada. I was shocked.).
Now people ask questions like : How do you use to live in your country?
( I simply answer that I use to live in a big town in a big house with two garage; cars ; a personal driver to pick us from our private bilingual school; a housekeeper; personal teachers at home to help us with our studies both in French and English.)

6- Are you really black?
( I hate this one because I use to think I was really dark in complexion until I arrived here in Canada and people were expecting to see all black people with really dark complexion. NO; we come in different complexions: dark, light, brown etc).
(Even though I do have some old roots from Brazil but that’s another more complex story lol)
What the actual fuck...
 
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CLOUD 500

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Jan 10, 2005
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The first 2 I can understand the drinking I think it is just natural curiosity on their part and a way to make some light conversation and perhaps to get to know a little about you. I don’t think it is that intrusive there are many people that don’t drink, some because of religion, some because they are recovering alcoholics and some simply because they don’t like the taste of alcohol and prefer a soft drink or Perrier water.
Depending on some girls, it is the way they ask as if I am a weirdo for not drinking alcohol and it is unthinkable. There are a few reasons that I can think of why they do this.

  1. The more drunk clients, the more dances they buy. It is a proven fact.
  2. I suspect some clubs tell the girls to try to get clients to buy drinks, that is after all how they make their money.

I just find it so odd why they are so preoccupied with what I am drinking. They can make other conversations that are more interesting then questioning what I drink.
 
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CLOUD 500

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MY opinion on this :

1. "If I had one I would not be booking an escort or need to". Not everyone is like you. I understand it might be offensive to you, but most of the time they are just trying to make conversation.

2. Again, probably just trying to make conversation. They are probably asking what's your ethnicity. How are they supposed to know that you are born and raised here if they don't ask?

Again this is just my opinion but you shouldn't take it too hard if a SP asks you that since they don't know those questions are offensive to you.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's valid feelings.
True say. My being offensive is more related to a reason personal to me. I do think it is their way to make small talk and each person is different. On my end it is line of questioning I strongly dislike, again for reasons personal to me, it might not apply to others.
 

Oberstdorf

Active Member
May 20, 2021
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  1. Where are you from? I hate this question. I am born in Canada. Just because I do not got white skin or blue eyes does not mean I am not Canadian. I like to leave it as that. As far as I am concerned my country of origin is Canada.
I just wanted to precise/explain a bit more with an example.

Let's take SPs that aren't white (Asian, Latina, african (American-african), Indian, Arab). Even if they are born and raised in Canada (are canadian 2nd, 3rd generation), they will be described with the term that defines them the most. (Chinese, Japanese, Korean, african, Middle Eastern, European, Russian etc)

Imagine you book with a girl where the description says Canadian/quebequoise (you expect a white ish person), you show up and she's asian/indian/Ebonie/Arab.
It would waste your time if you aren't attracted to her. And she will be hidden for people looking for her style.

Thanks for reading me.

Ps: I'm not trying to offend you in anyways, just had something to add. Hopefully that can clarify that asking that question isn't purposely mean or filled with bad intentions.
 

Blofinger

Member
Aug 9, 2022
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I ask it to everyone when I notice their first or last name doesn’t sound typically Québécois. Or sometimes I try to guess it and will ask “Are you from Neverland?” and the person can answer with “No, I’m from Oz.”
Hmmm. I don't think you should assume that only "french surnames" are from Quebec. Me, I am from "over the rainbow"!
 

LC18

Incall Downtown Montreal & outcall anywhere
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Sep 8, 2020
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Hmmm. I don't think you should assume that only "french surnames" are from Quebec. Me, I am from "over the rainbow"!

I didn’t even mention “French last name” so I don’t know where you got that information from
 
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Julia Sky

Supporting Member
Oct 29, 2016
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Whenever I ask people what their ethnicity is or where they're from (which never happens during the booking process and never as an ice breaker either haha, it would be very weird), it's mostly just because I wanna talk (or we're already talking) about food and love to hear about different cuisines from the people who grew up eating it! I'm a big foodie and discovering food from around the world is one of my favorite things.

I hear the concerns, though, and I wonder if there's a way I could word the question without the risk of offending. The intent is never to make my client feel uncomfortable, of course.
 

Blofinger

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I didn’t even mention “French last name” so I don’t know where you got that information from
I was trying to make a joke. Maybe I misunderstood the reference to "when I notice their first or last name doesn’t sound typically Québécois."
 

Julia Sky

Supporting Member
Oct 29, 2016
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"OMG, by any chance would you know (xyz)? You look so much alike you could be his father"

HAHAHAHAHA I was guilty of doing something similar once. Asked a guy "omg are you xyz's (first name only) son?" because he had the same nationality and job and was just as hot as the son in question but it had been a few years since I'd seen him so I wasn't sure.

Narrator : it was NOT the person I thought it was, but the question made him laugh and I still see him 6 years later haha

Edit : I must add that I knew them from civilian context, they were not clients. I would never ask a client "is my other client your dad?" LOL
 

bodick7

Well-Known Member
Dec 27, 2012
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J’ai récemment fait cette erreur and inversant deux collègues similaires :oops: gros fail…
Oh…certaines réparties que l’on croit pleine d’humour nous font rendre compte que l’on marche parfois sur un fil de fer.
 
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Thor Jr

Late Night Stud Muffin
Jul 24, 2008
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The question most asked is what do i do for a living, so just to keep it simple and not be in any way offensive. I simply tell them that i am an international Jewel thief and i am in town to steal some of Montréal's very previous gems, and tonight, i am starting with you.

This seems to bring laughter to the conversation and keeps the conversation going.
 

LC18

Incall Downtown Montreal & outcall anywhere
Supporting Member
Sep 8, 2020
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The question most asked is what do i do for a living, so just to keep it simple and not be in any way offensive. I simply tell them that i am an international Jewel thief and i am in town to steal some of Montréal's very previous gems, and tonight, i am starting with you.

This seems to bring laughter to the conversation and keeps the conversation going.

Smooth ;)
 
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