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[pinotte]

La réalité dépasse l'imagination

Hé ben Maylee, elle est particulièrement délicieuse, cette anecdote (le genre de petit bérêt, je pense que ça s'appelle une kipa, comme dans «lâche surtout pas ta kipa !»). Quand tu disais que tu en avais vu de toutes les couleurs, je ne pensais pas qu'il pouvait exister tant de couleurs dans l'univers ...! On pourrait en faire un film de ces petites histoires. Un film à sketches, parfois drôles, parfois inquiétants, parfois pathétiques, parfois excitants. À côté de ça, on se sent ordinaires... Bravo pour l'ensemble de ton oeuvre ;-)

 

[BIDOUILLE]

Gant De Rubber

whaoo quelle bonne anecdotes lol .
Estime toi heureuse maylee chez crtain ils font ca au trvers d un drap a l aide d un petit trou dans ce drap.
im magine qu il est amener son drap warrrrfff.

 

[BIDOUILLE]

Le drap

Et non ce n est pas une legende les ultras pratiquent ce genre de relations ditent non coupables lol.
Comment veux tu ne pas avoir de relations avec des pensées non coupable quand t as la gaule lol ????????
Anyway lolmoi aussi je suis pret a payer pour voir une telle hérésie lol .

 

[wakeman]

Gants de caoutchouc

Maylee,

Ton client pressé aux gants de caoutchouc, c'est un Hassidim qu'on désigne aussi comme orthodoxes. Il a fait un méchant gros péché selon ses croyances.

En passant, pour jouir à une telle vitesse, çà devait sentir le caoutchouc brûlé! (Je pouvais pas m'en empêcher, c'est trop drôle.)

J'en reviens pas des anecdotes que tu nous racontes. C'est vrai que çà ferait un bon film à sketch, ou un livre du style des "Chrétienneries" ou des "Perronnismes". Quand est-ce qu'on commence à écrire le scénario?

Merci encore, mon amie! xoxo

W.

 

[BIDOUILLE]

bON ARTICLE

Force est de constaté que c est reellement une legende urbaine, l article est tres explicite.
Mais comme on dit il n y a pas de fumée sans feu,il faut bien que cette soit disant rumeur est pris ses fondements quelques part.

Peut etre avec le temps s est-on dépéché de caché ce genre de pratique , le debat reste ouvert,les personnes qui m en avaient parler étais des racidiques aussi , moins ultra car a Paris la communautée juives est plus ouverte qu ici mais tous de méme un doute persiste . lol

 

[Chuckles]

9/27/05, Maylee (The Playtex yellow gloves)

Ed. : Okay, okay, I missed this one while I was out. As per usual, any translation errors would be all mine, NOT the author's...


One day a client calls me and asks me if he can stop by. He has a funny kind of voice, and I am not sure that I am making a good bargain. But at that time, I advertised in the newspaper, and we get all sorts, it's all part of the game...


Then the client rings as foreseen on the hour...

Wow... I was really scared! It was a Jew, I don't know too much what one calls them, I think he was one of the Orthodox, excuse me for my lack of knowledge in this domain. Anyway, I don't say this to judge them, I don't judge anyone, but I know that the religion is super severe and that he would never find himself at our house...

I pass on the description to do it at the end. But with the costume, I knew that he wasn't a Quebecois

The guy enters, and seems nervous and suspicious, and I am afraid because he takes up the entire doorway he is so tall, and with his black costume and his tall hat, I don't feel at ease.

He guides himself into the room, and there asks me not very nicely :
You changed your sheets before?

I respond to him as stupidly as possible :
What do you think?

It's then that he says: I believe you.

I say : I hope so!

He says to me : Are you putting on gloves to touch me?

I look at him like he came from the planet Mars and I say : But no, let's see, I am going to wash my hands before you if you wish, but I am not putting on gloves nevertheless! How do you want me to give you a massage with the gloves on

Then he tells me : I don't want a massage.

I respond : Why did you come here in the first place?

He says to me : I want just a hj, that's all!

I say : That's not a good return for the price! You would do better to find a girl on the street.

He says to me : I do not want to make myself seen...
( I thought it was a good idea)

Then I said to him: Ok, you can undress yourself and I will rejoin you.

Then he says to me : Do you want to wear gloves?

I say : But no, see, I can't give you a hj with the gloves on, you aren't going to feel anything!

He says : It's not serious, I brought you some...

I sincerely hope that he is joking with me, but here I see that he brought yellow rubber Playtex gloves for washing dishes, size x-large... I have very small hands moreover!

I try not to laugh, but it's not easy.

Then I say : Ok! (in a not-very-convincing voice)

He undresses himself, I have to leave the room, as he is still restrained. I come back 2 minutes later, and he kept on a kind of white combination... I had never seen this, it was like the britches (sorry, translator taking liberties here ) like in the TV series "Little House on the Prairie"...

Here I tell him : Listen, it is going to be necessary that you remove those, because I will not be able to do anything with this, I put on your gloves, but there are limits!

He says : Ok, but don't look!

I respond : I have to look nevertheless to know when to leave

I really had the insane urge to laugh!

Then I begin the hj, the gloves remained on my hands, but of course they were too large. And what's more, he didn't want me to put on oil, then this made a funny sort of rubbing noise and this went badly!

I told myself, as long as he's paying, I am going at least to give him his money's worth, I am going to make him last for one hour. But he wouldn't have any of it, he wanted to come the quickest possible, a true marathon man!

Ok, this took nearly 3 minutes, and the whole time he kept his eyes closed, he didn't touch me, and held his little helmet glued by the head to be sure that he wouldn't lose it

He left also quickly like a thief, without saying a word!




Look : Big man, 6 foot 4, around 250 pounds. Long black coat, below the knees, black pants, white shirt. Tall black hat, with the kind of helmet stuck below on the head, (excuse me, I don't know what one calls this type of beret) the hair in rolls... At one glance not too sure of himself, a bizarre air, and not very likeable.

Personality : I don't know too much what to say, he didn't seem to me to have any personality

Repeat : No, I think that he still has to pray for his forgiveness!



P.S. : I have nothing against people of this religion in case I am accused of being prejudicial towards Jews

Maylee (the bad girl)

 

[Nemo]

This is a thread where you, (the service provider) can tell your stories of amusment, bewilderment, romance, or sexiness with your clients; or any other noteworthy and interactions with our "adoring public" as an SP.
Yes, ladies...this is your own little thread to VENT IT ALL! Had a bad date or dance, massage session? Had a boring date...or dance? Did you have an awkward massage or BDSM session? Did you fall in love..temporarily?, or permanently!? Did you marry him!?!

This is one of the best threads ever...
Any of of you, ladies, have any more stories to share?...
Magda? Maylee? Ronnie? others?...
thanks in advance...
_____
Nemo

 

[Emily]

My most embarrassing moment

Bon, pas où commencer...

Ça faisait déjà quelques temps que je pensais faire ce métier et j'ai entendu une semaine avant d'être disponible. L'agence était quelque peu miteuse, mais un des chauffeurs a été très rassurant en me donnant ses nombreux conseils.

Me sentant prête, j'appelle l'agence pour leur signifier ma disponibilité. Ils m'appellent une heure plus tard me disant qu'un chauffeur serait à ma porte d'ici 15 minutes. J'étais extrêmement nerveuse, timide, mais en même temps, j'étais sur l'adrénaline...J'aime bien l'aventure faut croire...

Je ne savais pas du tout qui j'allais voir, où, comment... Mais je savais que nous devions aller chercher une autre fille pour le même rendez-vous. Elle était bien gentille et me rassura un peu. En chemin, je demande au chauffeur où nous étions supposées aller. Il me répond que c'est deux gars qui ont téléphoné et qu'ils voulaient deux filles pour une heure. Bon, jusqu'ici, tout va.

En arrivant près de la destination, le chauffeur nous apprend que c'est dans un campus universitaire. On arrive sur place. Il y a deux gars qui nous attendaient. Jeunes, peut-être 19 ans. Pas laids non plus... alors, intérieurement, je me dis.."bah, ça va... je pense que ça ira bien"..et puis les deux sont super gentils.... mais c'est là que ces 2 gars nous apprennent que ce n'est pas pour eux... mais que c'est pour un de leurs amis qui fêtait sa fête et nous étions son cadeau... Ce qu'ils voulaient... deux filles... pour danser... devant une soixantaine de personnes...autant de filles que de garçons tous de mon âge!!! Ils étaient tous anglophones, j'ai perdu mon anglais en 3 secondes.

Je dis à la fille que je suis incapable de faire ça.. je suis coincée.. c'est impossible. Elle arrive à leur parler.....ouf.... Je n'avais pas trop envie de danser devant 60 jeunes de mon âge, saouls, dans une université... je ne m'y attendais pas du tout.. argh.

On s'est donc ramassée dans la chambre du fêté avec une quinzaine de personnes........... il fallait tout de même faire quelque chose. On était là. Je n'imagine pas si j'avais été seule!!!!

On a donc terminé l'heure avec un show de lesbiennes......

En tout cas, la glace a été cassé..... ce n'est pas peu dire!!! Ô_Ô
J'en suis encore traumatisée...

Apparence: Il y avait trop de visages, mais je dirais que je n'ai rien vu du tout...
Attitude: Jeunes fêtards, malgré que bien sympatiques et très compréhensifs.
Service: hum..
Repeat: je crois pas...

=)

Emily

 

[thisismethere]

bonjour emilie

Salut Emilie,

Je te connais pas.. J'ai lu quelques bons reviews a ton sujet...et tu m'intrigues.. Es-tu a Montreal? As-tu une page web ?(celles que tu as donnees sont down.. ).

J.

 

[wakeman]

Émilie intimidée!?!?

Émilie,

On ne s'est jamais rencontré, mais tes écrits et les revues qui te concernent donnent l'impression que tu es quelqu'un de dynamique et très sûre d'elle-même. Je suis surpris que tu ais jamais pu être intimidée par qui que ce soit. Comme quoi tout le monde est humain!

Merci de l'anecdote, j'espère qu'il y en aura encore beaucoup d'autres.

W.

 

[Chuckles]

Trans., Emily, 10/30, 1:09 AM

(Okay, okay, back to work... ) - C

Well, dunno where to start...

It had already been some time that I had thought of doing this job and I heard a week before being available. The agency was somewhat seedy, but one of the chauffeurs was very reassuring by giving me numerous pieces of advice.

Feeling myself ready, I call the agency to give them my availability. They call me an hour later, telling me that a driver would be at my door in 15 minutes. I was extremely nervous, timid, but at the same time, I was on adrenaline... I really believe it necessary to experience the adventure to be believed... (okay, artistic license here. -C )

I didn't know at all where who I would go see, where, what... But I knew that we would have to go find another girl for the same rendez-vous. She was very nice and reassured me a little. On the way, I ask the driver where we were supposed to go. He responds to me that two guys called and that they wanted two girls for an hour. Good, up until now, everything is going okay.

When arriving close to the destination, the driver tells us that it is in a university campus. We arrive at the place. There are two guys who waited for us. Young, maybe 19 years old. Not ugly either... then, inside, I tell myself.."bah, it's okay... I think that it will go all right"..and then the two are super nice.... but here the 2 guys tell us that it isn't for them... but that it is for one of their friends who was celebrating his birthday and we were his gift... What they wanted... two girls... to dance... before sixty people... as many girls as guys, all my own age!!! They were all anglophones, I lost my english in 3 seconds.

I tell the girl that I am incapable of doing this.. I am stuck.. it is impossible. She went to talk to them.....ouf.... I hadn't wanted to dance before 60 people my own age, drunk, in a university... I didn't expect this at all.. argh.

We then collected ourselves in the party room with 15 people........... it was necessary all the same to do something. We were there. I can't imagine if I had been alone!!!!

We then finished the hour with a lesbian show......

In any case, the ice was broken..... there isn't much else to say!!! Ô_Ô
I am still traumatized...

Appearance: There were too many faces, but I would say that I saw nothing at all of them...
Attitude: Young party animals (!), although quite sympathetic and understanding.
Service: hum..
Repeat: I think not...

=)

Emily
__________________

“Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of oneself.” ~ Charles
Chaplin

 

[Sadie]

After much, well, not that much, thought, I decided to write a review.

Whilst working at an incall centre as a dominatrix (I won't divulge which), I was told by my boss that I would have a 'mummification client'. For those who don't know, this is someone who gets off by being very tightly bound with something, usually seran wrap, so that they absolutely have no control over anything. This is when I was a very strict domme and absolutely would never never have sex with my clients (even if I wanted to). So this guy was short and chubby and cute (my favourite kind of guy if I had to pick). He wanted me to tape a funnel into his mouth and spit water into it too.
So, I bound him from head to toe in seran wrap. Everything except for his penis, which was standing out to attention. Now there was just a small problem. He was still standing, and I needed him lying down. So he shuffled over to the bed/bdsm platform thing, and, there being NO WAY I could have lifted this man, I kind of pushed him a bit until he fell onto the bed.
Then, to be quite thorough, I bound his feet up too, and his whole head as well. I poked 2 holes for his ears so that I could breath into them and say nasty dirty things and also scare him a little (hey, this was fun!) And then poked a hole in his mouth where I taped the funnel into, and spat some water in, took all my clothes off, and rubbed myself over him a bit.
It was soo fun, as he was totally incapacitated, and all he could do was groan in agony, having only a small hole in his mouth where the funnel was poked into, for an outlet. When the half hour was looming on us, I thought 'Hmm, I'd better jerk him off now'. But, feeling a little horny and getting off on the power, and also, his penis being the only part of his body that was not covered in plastic, I popped a condom onto him, and rode him. Unfortunately he came in 2 thrusts, so I didn't get to satisfy myself at all
But it was still worth it considering the aesthetic value of the sex. I wish someone had taped it

Sadie

I really enjoy performing mild domination in the cabin.

You would make a great dominatrix Magda. Did you ever consider this?

x Sadie

 

[Mod 2]

Moderation Action - Posts deleted

In order to keep this thread a welcoming place for the women to give their opinion and share their experience, I removed a few one-liner "will she review me" useless comments. Let's try to be more adults around here, mind you?

M2

 

[Chuckles]

Yikes... I will translate later, after I get back from my trip up north. Not enough time right now....

 

[metoo4]

Translation of Maylee's last post

Let's give Chuckles a hand.

Translation of Maylee's previous post:

___________

On a nice summer day, I had a paranoid style customer.


I still remember seeing him coming in:
"I think somebody saw me..."
"I'm not certain this place is safe..."
"I'm married... " (They always think they're the only one.)
"I'm afraid I will regret it..."
And more!

So I told him: "Listen, if you're like that, if you're afraid of everything, why did you come here?"

He answer: "You know, it took me a lot of courage to come here and I don't know if I'll be able to do it."

So, after talking with him, I told him he was going to feel bad like this, he was better to leave and everybody was going to be happy!

That's when he decided to stay.

It's not evident to give a massage to a customer who feel guilty and is unable to relax.

Anyway, he decide to take his wedding ring out before we start. Probably to to help him forget he was married.

He probably didn't take it off often because he had troulbe to remove it.

After he was done, he placed it on top of his clothes.

The massage didn't go very well. The guy couldn't relax, felt bad and didn't stop talking. Not very easy to get in the mood.

At the end, I was drained. This guy burned me out totally.

He then proceeded to get dressed but, while he was lifting his clothes, we heard the wedding ring falling to the ground.

He said" " NON, NOT MY WEDDING RING!"

I said: " No panic, it must be in the room. We'll find it, don't worry.

So, we turn the lights on and start searching like crasy, on our 4 in the room. We look but we can't find it.

Finally, it was obvious it had to be under the bed. Just a small problem there: I had a waterbed at that time so, no way we could move this.

The base of the bed was a box and, to cover this box, there was a wodden cover, not touching the ground. That left a space of about 6" all around the bed, between the cover and the base. No way to see under the cover because it was too close to the ground. I took a thin piece of wood and slided it under the cover. I couldn't see anything but I could hear the ring moving.

The guy was going nuts: "We must find this ring or my wife will kill me!"

To make a long story short, I finally got the ring out, after much trouble.

The poor guy put the ring back on and left my place looking like a crasy dog.

The morale of this story: When we can't assume what we're doing, better stay home.

Look: Small bals guy with glasses, about 55yo, 5'4", very skinny. Important detail: A set of false teeth that was badly adjusted. Every time he was talking, you could ear his false teeth clicking. That was hillarious! I figured he bought these false teeth for his wedding and never replaced it after.

Attitude: Poor guy. I pity him after all.

Repeat: No way, for shure!

___________

I guess the guy never went back to a MP and even less tried an SP!!

 

[Chuckles]

Metoo4, thank you kindly. It was a long yet relaxing weekend (even if I didn't have a chance to meet Maylee and discuss my translations ). Still, I'm glad to see the board didn't burn down while I was out!

 

[shijak]

second chance at greatness?

This thread has been completely inactive for about 4 months, so I thought I'd bump it to see if the recent crop of new lady members might be willing to add to it...! This has always been a fascinating topic for me, and I'd like to see some new stories...
(besides, I miss Magda's occasional contributions to this board and want her legacy to continue... )

 

[shijak]

euhhhhh....

C'est vrai, ça fait longtemps!
Et Madga, le première, l'initiatrice de ce thread, où es-tu? J'aimerais bien lire tes histoires
Et toi, Shijak, tu es la bienvenue, pas d'histoires à nous compter?
Maylee xxx

Enchante Maylee, mais je suis tout male derriere ce nick, et occasionnellement un client, donc je me vois disqualifie de participer a ce thread...Mais j'aime apprendre ce que les dames ressentent et vivent dans ce metier (toujours fascinant!)
I concur with Maylee: Magda, your absence is sorely felt!
(I can see where my name might be gender-confusing, but it's actually a martial arts term that basically means"commence" or "fight"- )

[to translate the beginning of my post: Pleased to meet you, Maylee, however i am all male behind this nickname, and a client occasionnally, so I'm disqualified from participating in this thread...but I'm greatly interested in learning what the ladies feel and go through while "working". It's always fascinating!]

 

[Chuckles]

*cough* Oops, that thread again...

 

[General Gonad]

Repeat : Not even drunk, not even If I'd be alone on earth with him and horny as hell.

LOL! Please don't hold back....let it all out!

Seriously guys, I hate those Hawaiian shirts...please burn them.

GG