The Hobby and Loneliness

[Gee]

Pardon the typos board stiff, The board time stamp seems to be incorrect since I posted this at after coming home at about 7am and was pretty drunk and tired.

unless it took me 3 hours to write this... hmmm, time sure flies. not likely.

anyway, I'm surprised I even found the bold and submit buttons


naughtylady: you'll find that most true introverts are like this, when you spend so much time looking at yourself and relying on yourself, it tends to become like a relationship. At first it's great, then you start noticing the quirks that annoy you, maybe try to change them before accepting them and after a while you know yourself well enough to feel like your an old married couple.

Unfortunately I can't cheat on myself, or I would get jealous and never hear the end of it.

 

[Gee]

maylee: I'm lucky that I'm not as bad as some others, I only do this once every year or so. If some of the people I know and some of the people on this board that do this on a monthly/weekly basis are anything like what I describe.

Well I can't really begin to imagine how awful it must be for those who are addicted and are even just a little like me.

 

[orallover]

Not much on the hobby activity side of things (just 1 and I keep it to myself). However I have to admit... better to spend the free time with fellow hobbyists from the board(s), hanging out at various locations on and off the island instead of alone.

You keep it to yourself? you are being selfish. share with us...
Yeah, hanging out with you, breadman, spagetti.. ops, spartacus and TG_Toronto was fun. we should do it again some time.

 

[protagoras]

There was another thread asking about the addictiveness of the hobby. I think it is extremely addictive. I am chasing the ultimate experience with young women more than half my age.

There is another aspect with it. It is also extremely lonely. The girl comes to you; she stays for the allotted time period and then leaves.

With a girlfriend or wife, she does not leave. There is time to talk, joke or go out to have something to eat.

Now, I know that some guys are in relationships that are not what they used to be and the hobby is an outlet. And those WISH that there wives would leave afterwards. But joking aside, if you are single and you are doing this for a substitute for intimacy, then it can be lonely.

I wanted to get your feedback on the question.

Hey guys,
The rule of the three Fs applies: Find'em, Fuck'em, Forget'em.

For those who like me are in a steady relationship with a woman, seeing SPs is only fun on the side. Have you ever heard of the concept «no strings attached»?

If you are alone I believe that seeing SPs can be damaging. It's sad but some mongers may tend to suffer from dependent personality disorder...
In the first place, it's better to find a girlfriend which is a non-pro. I don't want to be harsh but p4p (pay for play) is not even an ersatz to a sound love relationship.
Playing is not working. We play with Sps while we work on a love relationship

 

[picasso]

Oliver

Thanks for sharing your personal story. Would you say having a kid or two from your marriage will have really altered the course of your life story there? Eleven years of marriage is a long time. It's about 2X the average for the US.

Cheers,
Picasso

 

[Regular Guy]

With affection

A great discussion and one perhaps all should read! The most touching posts I have read from both sides are all about loneliness. That’s a tough one. But as some have pointed out there are no guarantees with relationships and they take a lot of work. They have the potential to involve a lot of emotional turmoil when the match is lacking in some way. For those who have found a best friend and lover, hugged their little ones by an open fire....well it can be the ultimate thrill of anyone’s life. I know. It was in many respects the happiest time of my life. Losing it was a testament to how well we must choose (or perhaps are lacking - we are not all cut out for it.) The pain was real. But I have many happy memories and videotapes (yes I was one of those nuts to whom everyone yelled, “Down in front!”). So I can say, “Been there! Done that!” My young ones are off to University. For dd, The WW and Jim I say yeah , find yourself a girl to share that part of life with. Maybe deep down it’s what you are really searching for. But understand also there are many who choose to remain single and are as happy as life allows. For those of us who have experienced a relationship over many years, well we may have a different perspective. Like the rest of humanity sp’s come in many different packages and I am not speaking about what they look like but who they are. When Ronnie said, “There has been more than one person I have met in this business where I have said to my self afterwards if only we had met under different circumstances... that is where she gave of herself. What a fortunate guy! There are moments of genuine “clicking” and though new to this I have read enough posts from others to note that it is a tangible thing. So I don’t know about the rest of you but I am happy right now to live life on my own terms. But there is nothing in the world like sharing precious moments with a potential soulmate. To feel that about someone and in someone’s eyes and to share genuine affection is that trip to paradise. Those moments would be pure magic. Maybe there lies the addiction(and for some sp’s as well?) These girls should be treated like gold. And please spare me the but she wants your money lecture. My ex could spend it faster than any sp could relieve me of it. Wouldn’t it be great if both sp’s and clients could choose each other. Is there an sp for everybody? But isn’t it just that kind of fantasy that keeps the guys coming back? Maybe.........I don’t know.