What do you look for in a review, what turns you off?

[The Nature Boy]

Brothers and sisters,

From a hobbyist’s perspective what do you look for in a review that makes you send that text to book a session?

what turns you off to a review and makes you say, “there’s something fishy here”

ladies, any advice you would give to the boys as to how reviews should be written? Any advice you want to give to the boys about how to provide constructive criticism if a client came to see you and the two of you didn’t click and now there’s a review coming?

would be cool to know what everyone thinks

 

[hungry101]

I hate vague reviews that read like the following:

Ahhhh she enters floating on a cloud. Her love is like, unlike a kumquat. Don't expect abbreviations from me....she flowed like fine wine and [sigh] danced on a feather and left as if on the wings of a dove...never more, never more, never more..Oh light through yonder window breaks, it is the dawn....etc. etc.

Translation 1: I'm an ass suck that wants to impress 20 year old escorts and try to be their friend and their hero. I give them a significant portion of my retirement income and I can't even fuck them.

She showed me a good time...

Translation 2: If I woke up 10 hours later in a pool of blood with my wallet and wrist watch missing I would still write she showed me a good time

I don't write negative reviews...

Translation 3: I am a useless shill.

When writing a negative review you have to be respectful. However, when you receive sub-par performance you have an obligation to report it. But get ready for the backlash. I loath, loath, loath, white knights. You, Mr. White Knight, are a useless tool! Do you have a review? Than write it. Otherwise stop trying to impress escorts. You are pathetic. I only take solace that on occasion, some of the white knights are nothing more than shills trying to suppress reviews. I even suspect that some white knights and reviewers may be, in worst cases, aliases for the agencies themselves. After all, this is a review board.

There is a lot of money out there to be made. There are some dubious people working in the background of cyberspace trying to promote one girl over another or one one agency over another or trying to destroy the reputation of one agency, or suppress negative reviews. There is a lot of money to be made out there...

A better topic may be What motivates the white knight? I used to think that the shill had a financial incentive. We have caught a few on this board. But more often not, the shill just wants to be a hero to these young women. Some want to be known as hobbyist of the year or king of Montreal.

 

[The Nature Boy]

Lol, I don’t understand the purpose of the “had a wonderful time, I don’t go into details, but do recommend.” If a SP does stuff with you and says don’t tell anyone by all means find a way to write a review omitting the details of what needs to be excluded, but to say the whole encounter without details can’t be mentioned is ridiculous.

I think writing a review with constructive criticism and even a simple “hey nice girl, cute girl, but we just didn’t click” adds some realism to the game. I think it actually helps the SP! I’ve seen a bunch of threads where a guy will come on and say “went to go see SP X based on all the over the top reviews and had a shitty fucking time. Thanks a lot shill!” Not saying it’s the fault of the guys who write the wonderful reviews but it’s the fault of the guys who go off on a poor guy for stating his experience lack luster experience. I’m guilty of white knighting, did it recently on a different forum, feel shitty about it. Totally not cool. I think if there more realistic reviews and guys aren’t bashed for stating there lack luster experiences the boys will be less inclined to write a revenge review? To them it will be more of a “oh well, shit happens” type of scenario instreadmof a blame game

 

[TheJames101]

reviews that are the most irritating to me are the ones where the reviewer constantly claims to know what the girl is thinking. "I just knew that she wanted to suck my cock as soon as possible" type stuff.

 

[The Nature Boy]

Don’t mind all that Mr. Suit, as long as they got the basic info like LFK/DFK, how many shots on goal, any restrictions.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Gotta chime in here.

Chemistry was good we clicked

Anything over a paragraph, do not really care at all about the poster,
Just my opinion but was she friendly, any defects like a hunchback, services you recieved and a little filler ( hotness ( her not you ), sexy outfit ( her not you ). Again, just what I like to read on this site for reviews
Hungry101.... :lol::lol:

 

[No_Church_InThe_Wild]

I usually enjoy the ones that have a good mix of humour and information. Chowzilla’s review of Elly comes to mind ( that style ) , hungry’s , luvdozer and many , many others that I can’t name now but I will soon enough remember and edit that information.

As for what turns me off ? Well it’s not so much something that turns me off . It’s more like when I see folks posting myriad reviews and all of them read as super extraordinary experiences ,,, then I just start to take them less seriously , that’s all.
If they happen to be really funny , well in that case I’m a bit more forgiving to them for being at least entertained :smile:
I mean yes it is possible to have only super amazing reviews but only if that someone posts a few reviews . But when all 50 of them are super amazing ( over the top ) then I start to wonder and become a sceptic to put it politely . I mean someone batting close to 1000% is unlikely with so many at bats , right ??

 

[laid_back_alex]

Post #2 Couldn't have said it better myself.

I'll also add: When the reviewer pats himself on his back because he supposedly gave the girl 10 orgasms

 

[That One Guy]

Yeah because girls never fake orgasms. They certainly wouldn't do it to get more repeat clients, oh no... LOL. Some of these dudes are delusional

 

[The Nature Boy]

As for what turns me off ? Well it’s not so much something that turns me off . It’s more like when I see folks posting myriad reviews and all of them read as super extraordinary experiences ,,, then I just start to take them less seriously , that’s all.

I mean yes it is possible to have only super amazing reviews but only if that someone posts a few reviews . But when all 50 of them are super amazing ( over the top ) then I start to wonder and become a sceptic to put it politely . I mean someone batting close to 1000% is unlikely with so many at bats , right ??

that certainly makes me a skeptic of the reviewer too. I’ve seen a few review threads that have been turned into shit shows and it’s sad. Sad because it kinda turns off potential clients to the provider too I think.

 

[hungry101]

I think part of the problem is that the Anti review/Fuck TER crowd has made a lot of headway with oversensitive Johns suffering from some sort of white knight/Sir Galahad complex. First of all, I like the girls and I would like to think that I am a good customer that they want to service. However, a purpose of reviews is to help men to make choices. Whomever it was that started TER did so because he was tired of getting ripped off! I remember my pre-TER days before wide-scale use of the net. I was never satisfied. Now many girls on twitter seem to want to go back to those days. If they can convince us that leaving abbreviations is tacky and passé we will leave them off our reviews. All reviews would read like the first example I listed on post #2. There is no talk of services and all is vague. (No, this was not an actual review from our favorite fake Doctor/reviewers form the other board that writes exclusively about seeing girls from a famous outcall only agency in Toronto so stop PM'ing me to ask). If services are not listed you don't have a review. This way the girls are more free to pick and choose what services they actually give. We may see a deterioration of services over time.

There is a lot of gray areas of reviews and we have to dance around a lot of issues. If I have a really good time I may say to the girl at the end "I'm going to review you is there anything you would like to see omitted from a final review?" Now because I ased the question I must honor her request to omit the fact that she allowed digits/anal play etc. But there is still a lot of useful things that I can report. If I have a sub par time, then I feel I am obligated to report it in a constructive manner. If I'm the only one that she refused to kiss it maybe its because I got nervous and just like Charlie on It's Always Sunny, I ate too much cheese just prior to the date? Or maybe I can see a pattern of bad reviews and others can choose to avoid this girl? I look for a pattern. One bad review: The guy fault? The girl had an off day? A pattern of bad reviews: Avoid the girl unless she makes substantial changes. Maybe she's on drugs at the moment etc? I don't know but just like the guy that started TER: I hate being ripped off.

I make a decent living but I can't afford to have a low batting average. Reviews are important.

 

[CLOUD 500]

I hate vague reviews without details like "I had a good time" or "I recommend her". I want details. Was DFK available was it good? BBBJ available? Details details. Be more precise otherwise it is useless. And another pet peeve I have those guys reviewing escorts of those backpage sites never post the full phone number they always have to write something like this 514-123-xxxx. What is the point of that? It is a review the number is public why hide it? What are you afraid of? It just makes it much more difficult for me to find the ad. I have to go through all those ads and kind of guess if it is the one that was reviewed. With a phone number I can search directly in google and it will usually take me straight to the ad. Guys post the full complete phone number.

 

[Halloween Mike]

What i like to see? Was the booking easy, was she on time, which services where provided. If you know she has no review thread yet, extra points if you ask about extras even if you don't intend to partake.

What i dislike : Stories that try to be erotic novels. I don't need 2 paragraphes of 15 lines to describe your 3 sex positons. Vague uninformative reviews like some peoples mention above, usually 4 lines max that just say they had a good time and recomand.

Chemistry is personal to each escort/clients relation, so even tough its totally fine to say when she made you feel at ease and it felt like seeing an old friend (i do as well), a review need to be more than that.

Fun fact : Did you know there is a Montreal thread on another board wich is US based (i saw a few members from here participate as well) that really does not have a lot of good words for merb? Calling a lot of members shill and white knights?

 

[jalimon]

Fun fact : Did you know there is a Montreal thread on another board wich is US based (i saw a few members from here participate as well) that really does not have a lot of good words for merb? Calling a lot of members shill and white knights?

Yes I saw that. But someone, probably a veteran, just calmed them down. Should not worry too much about it.

 

[UncleBob]

I prefer short reviews, straight to the point that gives details about services and look.
I really dont read very long and self-gratifying reviews.
I like to know if the Standard GFE was provided (DFK, BBBJ, DATY), the attitude and the "into it" level.

People, especially outside merb, are very quick to declare some members as shill, or their reviews cant be trusted.
The fact is that every body are different, some are picky and others are not.
I usually learn to know the reviewers tastes and try to read between the lines.
The more reviews the better, no matter what.

 

[The Nature Boy]

For me it’s not about how picky a client is. There are reviews that are being written obviously by some only for the sole purpose of personal advancement by the reviewer. It’s got absolutely nothing to do with personal writing style. Either the writer is trying to win favoritism with provider or agency. You will see it here, actually I’m sure you already have cause it flagrant sometimes.

Also, theres a lot guys who are writing honest experiences and some jumping down the reviewers throats? If there’s obvious lies being said about a provider than by all means defend them, but if your fav has had 10 recent stellar reviews and one guy says “hey me and her didn’t click, nice girl but I don’t think I’ll see her again” don’t jump down someone’s throat for that. Have some confidence in your favorite provider.

 

[Cruiser777]

I prefer short reviews, straight to the point that gives details about services and look.

I like to know if the Standard GFE was provided (DFK, BBBJ, DATY), the attitude and the "into it" level.

I usually learn to know the reviewers tastes and try to read between the lines.

Nicely put UB

Short review with all the basic details of GFE / PSE services (DFK to DATY to CIM or Greek, etc ) will be sufficient enough for me.

Seen long long reviews with all kinds of stories and still looking to what type of services were provided, lots of times no details / acronyms
other then , after and hour "I got my SOG"...LOL

MERB numbering seems to be out of wack (For looks). Accurate, more realistic numbers would be more helpful and avoid surprises.
My rule of thumb is to deduct at least 2 points, I have gone from expecting a WOW to WTF ? (Some MERBites have expressed the same view).
Average to above average most of the time should be 5, 6 and 7s, higher ones should be kept for the really good looking ones.
I know to each his own but can't give supermodel type of numbers for average looks.

 

[sharkman]

I look for the following in a review:

1) accurate descriptions of an SPs looks and body features compared to the photoshop pics from the agencies
2) what are some of the SPs most enjoyable social activities (without being it too personal)...social butterfly, outdoor activities, travelling, types of restaurants, etc.
3) basic details of GFE / PSE services...DFK / DATY / CIM / Greek, favorite positions, etc.
4) and some color that adds an element of fun to the review so that it does not come across as a stiff one paragraph scouting report of a quarterback

What I dislike is 1 to 2 pages of poetic prose written in quasi quatrain format that brings you back to the middle ages and where you need a fine-tooth comb and a magnifying loupe to extract nothing but gibberish!

 

[TheJames101]

Yes I saw that. But someone, probably a veteran, just calmed them down. Should not worry too much about it.

They didn't calm down, it's that a mod over there asked them to get back to the topic of reviewing girls. Curiously, nobody was banned...

 

[The Nature Boy]

Nicely put UB

MERB numbering seems to be out of wack (For looks). Accurate, more realistic numbers would be more helpful and avoid surprises.
My rule of thumb is to deduct at least 2 points, I have gone from expecting a WOW to WTF ? (Some MERBites have expressed the same view).
Average to above average most of the time should be 5, 6 and 7s, higher ones should be kept for the really good looking ones.
I know to each his own but can't give supermodel type of numbers for average looks.

ive yet to be disappointed optics wise in MTL. One guys 7 is gonna be another’s 9, and another’s 5 depending on how well they click. Never been a big fan of the numbering system.

Do you boys think there should be a time frame limiting a review popping up? Ie if you saw the SP a year ago, ie if you saw the provider over 2 months ago? When is it too long? Obviously common sense would dictate that if the last time you saw the provider Harper was PM, then lol, when has the statute of limitations passed?