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Thread: More political humour...

  1. #1
    Lover of Life
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    Jul 2006
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    Western Canada
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    More political humour...

    I received this as an email the other day and some of them made me chuckle.

    Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

    Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

    Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's
    daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him,
    and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

    Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade
    with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

    The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our
    highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

    A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
    multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
    without regulation.

    The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
    speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

    If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

    A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies,
    then demand their cooperation and money.

    Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing
    health care to all Americans is socialism.

    HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at
    heart.

    Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
    creationism should be taught in schools.

    A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
    offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which
    thousands die is solid defense policy.

    Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
    Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
    Internet.

    The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
    George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

    Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
    conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers
    for your recovery.

    What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but
    what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.

  2. #2

    Hi here is some humour to light up your day!

    What does a sexy linguistic wear on vacation? A diph thong.

    If you slay two poets with well throuwn pastry would this be killing two bards with one scone?

    Why the magician inquiry got no where? Too much smoke and mirrors.

    Have a relaxing day!

    Juliana
    Dont worrry about the world coming to
    an end, it is already tomorrow in Australia.

  3. #3
    Real-life political humor: watching Dubya misread his cuecards during tonight's address to the nation. This guy mispronounces so many words that he'd make an excellent replacement for the departed Ron Reusch (or for Debra Arbec if she ever chooses to grace us with her departure).

  4. #4
    Working rage-aholic
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    Quote Originally Posted by angeleyes
    If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

    .........................

    Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
    creationism should be taught in schools.

    .........................

    A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
    offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which
    thousands die is solid defense policy.

    .........................

    Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
    conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers
    for your recovery.
    These are my favorites...the whole thing is brilliant, though.

    I enjoy Rush Limbaugh as much as I often disagree with him. He has a sense of humor, unlike Sean (Pat Boone) Hannity and so many other cheesy conservatives.

    The problem with Rush and people like him is that they're hypocritical blowhards. I have a friend who's a religious conservative in Maine. She belongs to a church that preaches against homosexuality, sexual 'deviancy', drug use, etc. Ironically she is the epitome of all that she believes is wrong.

    Though she lied to herself about it for some time, she is gay. She uses drugs. She's got a recent DWI. She married a man, but didn't move in with him and has never lived with him-they both date other women.

    She was indoctrinated with these baptists at a young age and it's taken her a long time to accept that she can't live the lifestyle they preach.
    Why are homely people discriminated against...we're the majority

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