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Thread: The Savior Syndrome

  1. #1

    The Savior Syndrome

    Client X's taking a particular liking to Mademoiselle la SP, repeated bookings ensue, everytime longer, everytime more intimate, with an increased degree of confidence and trust. Everything works fine but the next thing you know, Client X's starting to feel responsible for Mademoiselle, like he's vested suddenly with rights in her or like maybe he needs to fix her problems, provided that she's got any and if these would be any of his business.

    So Client X turns into a control freak and soon enough he takes this all-too familiar appearance of nobilty which only serves to give good face to his irrepressible need to control. Conveniently: not only does he need to convince Mademoiselle that he's "doing good" but he probably also need to convince himself.

    Throw in a bit of delusion and the mindset of someone on a mission and, tadaaa, Mademoiselle just found her S A V I O R !

    Ladies, Gentlemen, thoughts? anecdotes you wouldn't mind sharing? Are saviours dangerous? Do they have an economical value?
    Last edited by z/m(Ret); 04-30-2007 at 09:52 PM.

  2. #2
    Veteran of Misadventures
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    I don't suffer from the Syndrome but I know some hobbyists who do. There is no known cure for this Syndrome, which is a progressive but usually not fatal disorder. The best treatment is the constant reminder that only Jesus saves, and He saves only those who want to be saved. If necessary this should be written on a blackboard every day 50 times per day or until headaches ensue.

  3. #3
    proud infidel
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    Seems to me client ''x'' is really more in search of a steady girlfriend
    fml

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Maria
    Viva la libertad, amigos mios...!!! Je ne crois pas qu'un homme, qui qu'il puisse être, ne doive dire à une femme ( dans le sens d'imposer....) ce qui est mieux pour elle...I don't believe that a man ( any man...) have the rights to say what she have to do to a woman....Un peu de paternalisme là-dessous aussi je dirais.... I think that is a little paternalism in this attitude...Peut-être qu'il a raison pour certains points..Maybe he's right for few points...Mais c'est le(s) choix d'une adulte, quoi qu'ils soient..But, that's adult's choice(s) , what they are..... Il faut les respecter..Need respect..
    Maria xxx
    ps...difficile la traduction bonyeu!!! hahahaha...hard to tranlate.......????
    Maria, I don't speak french but what you say comes thorugh clear.
    I've only repeated with the same SP max 4-5 times and never felt responsible, but maybe I'm a heartless bastard. On the same note my barber makes me feel guilty if I've had my hair cut somewhere else, so go figure!

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turbodick
    On the same note my barber makes me feel guilty if I've had my hair cut somewhere else, so go figure!
    Loyalty is very important to barbers!!!!!!!!!!! Years ago I had a barber who wanted to know where everyone in my office had their hair cut...........one time I went to a different barber with my father and had both are heads shaved, and when I saw my regular the next time he was deeply offended and insulted!!!!!! They believe they own your hair, once they have cut it...........

  6. #6

    Talking SP Saviors Support Group

    OK people, time for a group hug! There, it will be alright, you all cry now...
    Last edited by z/m(Ret); 04-30-2007 at 09:55 PM.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just Maria
    I think that is a little paternalism in this attitude
    Yes, but is being a straight sugar daddy any less paternalistic? Let's say a guy takes a lady "off the market" so to speak - the deal is, she does not work, and in return, he buys her a condo, a new car and gives her her very own American Express card to use, with a $50,000 credit limit. Of course, part of the deal will also inevitably include exclusive sex with the sugar daddy.

    Is this any less paternalistic than the regular guy who just wants to save the SP from.............whatever? If so, how and why?

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Ziggy Montana
    OK people, time for a group hug! There, it will be alright, you all cry now...
    Zigmeister: how very sensitive of you !

  9. #9
    Isn't saving a good thing, unless you are trying to save someone against their wishes?

  10. #10
    Mired in the red dust.
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    Quote Originally Posted by traveller_76
    ....Key here is 'looking for someone to save'... à la Pretty Woman. Actually when I was first starting, an older SP (mid 30s?) told me that these clients started turning up after the movie came out (guess she'd been around a long time). They aren't that hard to spot... They want to 'help' you, finance you, get you out of the biz, get you through school, etc, etc.....
    If you talk about Pretty Woman when discussing the Savior, then you also have to mention DeNiro's character in Taxi Driver. Travis Bickle (the lead character) probably expresses more realistically the loneliness and the volatility within men who are driven to "save" sex workers.

    When I hear men talk about how they saved a sex worker, my main thought, between yawns, is 'gimme a break'. One can't walk down St. Catherine's without stumbling over some person sleeping in a box, but these guys opt to save an attractive woman who carries a five-hundred dollar handbag and has a drawer full of underwear from Victoria's Secret. How noble.

    If any saving of a sex-worker is necessary, it should be done by other sex-workers and ex-sex-workers. They have the background knowledge and also do not act out of self interest. A sexual-service consumer who places himself in the role of counselor for a troubled young women is like a pedophile priest who takes charge of saving the soul of a troubled young boy. It is a recipe for disaster.

    I actually have my doubts about whether any man can help a sex-worker with emotional problems. Most of the time, men are the problem. If a man really wants to spend his money helping sex-workers with their problems, he should make a contribution to an organization like Stella. They'll know how to best use the money and they will have a better rate of success.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fat Happy Buddha
    If you talk about Pretty Woman when discussing the Savior, then you also have to mention DeNiro's character in Taxi Driver. Travis Bickle (the lead character) probably expresses more realistically the loneliness and the volatility within men who are driven to "save" sex workers.
    Perhaps, but Bickle was saving a child prostitute.

    Also, comparing the complexities of a real-world life with the superficial snippets of a two-hour movie, even one as good as Taxi Driver, let alone as crappy as Pretty Woman is folly, at best. Life might be a Cabaret, old chum, but is sure as hell isn't a movie.
    You are cordially invited to toss my salad. There's an app for that!

  12. #12
    Mired in the red dust.
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    Quote Originally Posted by YouVantOption
    Perhaps, but Bickle was saving a child prostitute.
    Is there really much difference between an emotionally-damaged prostitute and a child? Besides, age was not a major issue in the relationship between Bickle and the Foster character. The key issue in the film was Bickle's obsession with her (as well as his obsession with everything else). The movie would not have been substantially different if Iris (the Foster character) had been 19 or 23.

    Quote Originally Posted by YouVantOption
    Also, comparing the complexities of a real-world life with the superficial snippets of a two-hour movie, even one as good as Taxi Driver, let alone as crappy as Pretty Woman is folly, at best. Life might be a Cabaret, old chum, but is sure as hell isn't a movie.
    I agree with what you say about comparing real life with a two-hour movie. But is the relation between a sex-worker and a client real life? If it is, it is one of the most rudimentary forms of human interaction. It began millenia ago when females hung out along mountain paths, convincing cavemen on the way home from the hunt to give up a leg of antelope in exchange for sexual favours, and it hasn't changed fundamentally since then. Scorsese is probably giving a nod to this fact when Bickle has to buy Iris a hamburger to get her to sit down and talk with him.

    If anything, the client-sex worker relationship doesn't have the depth or complexity to warrant a two-hour movie. Why do you think Scorsese had to add a presidential campaign, an assassination plot and a side-relationship with the Sybil Sheppard character? Even in Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts had to be shown shopping just to give her character added depth. By definition, any movie about a relationship between a sex-worker and a client should really only be an hour long, and that's if you don't cut out the twenty minutes of shower scenes.

    Maybe one of the mistakes the Saviour makes is that he tries to turn into a full-length movie a very simple relationship that is best expressed by a thirty-second commercial spot. He forgets that when dealing with sex-workers, like in most relationships in life, the KISS principle (keep it simple, stupid) is best applied.
    Last edited by Fat Happy Buddha; 05-01-2007 at 10:17 AM.

  13. #13

    Smile A Man and His Antelope Are Soon Parted

    Quote Originally Posted by Fat Happy Buddha
    It began millenia ago when females hung out along mountain paths, convincing cavemen on the way home from the hunt to give up a leg of antelope in exchange for sexual favours, and it hasn't changed fundamentally since then.
    Within the time frame mentionned the "leg of antelope" has been replaced by the "chocolate" bar as coin of the realm.Somewhat of an anti-inflation, anti-HDH trend and a tribute to the highly successful "Save the Antelope" movement.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Holliday
    Saviours are especially dangerous to themselves. If there is an economical value, it's probably to the person they're hoping to 'save'. ... I will ask my psychologist friend about this & i'll post his observations later. His views my differ from all of the views posted, including my own.
    I would imagine that the saviour complex doesn't differ much from its manifestation in women who can't understand how they keep getting involved with men who cheat/beat and otherwise abuse them. Women who continually fall for the 'bad boy' personna thinking 'all he needs is the love of a good woman' usually end up in a bad way.

    I can't imagine becoming anyway involved with a criminal, drug addict, mentally ill person or yes, prostitute without being entirely clear on one's personal lines of safe involvement. I've seen several friends through bouts of mental illness and addiction and at a certain point I simply cut bait to avoid being pulled into the thunderstorm of such an existance, and refuse to validate their behaviour. That said, I am always prepared to be there to support and encourage them during their recovery.
    You are cordially invited to toss my salad. There's an app for that!

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fat Happy Buddha
    Is there really much difference between an emotionally-damaged prostitute and a child? Besides, age was not a major issue in the relationship between Bickle and the Foster character. The key issue in the film was Bickle's obsession with her (as well as his obsession with everything else). The movie would not have been substantially different if Iris (the Foster character) had been 19 or 23.

    I disagree. Age played a shocking point of reference as to the decay of the city, of urban life. remember when the film was released. In that context it was much much more a measurement of depravity than it is now; I'd guess that that was the first time child prostitution was noted in a popular film, indeed mention of such activities even in the press were rare as hen's teeth thirty years ago.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fat Happy Buddha
    I agree with what you say about comparing real life with a two-hour movie. But is the relation between a sex-worker and a client real life?
    It depends. in the context of a one-hour date, clearly it is not real life beyond the rutting. But I thought what we were discussing is a relationship that extended in some manner beyond the normal 'wham bam, thankyou mam' encounter.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fat Happy Buddha
    If anything, the client-sex worker relationship doesn't have the depth or complexity to warrant a two-hour movie.
    Have you heard of this new thing they have? it's called 'porno'.
    You are cordially invited to toss my salad. There's an app for that!

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