How do you get over the emptiness…

[lastsamurai]

Howdy all,
I have been lurking around here for a while and want to share my story to get some criticism and sympathy. After all, you all are the closest to me next to my family.

Here it goes. My wife of 22-year marriage decided not to sleep with me anymore after a big fight. That was 18 months ago and over 60% was my fault. Fast forward, I am a much better man now but she is a very strong-willed lady whom I respect. I do not see how I could win her back to bed any time soon. She has never been with another man in her life and was a virgin when we got married (different culture then back home). She is the kind of woman that if I left home for 10 years and came back one day, she would ask me what do you want for lunch. I was thinking about divorce but the problem is that not only are millions at stake, but I am also just a big child at 50 years old. I never cooked a meal or washed a shirt in my entire life. Basically I moved from my mother’s house directly to my wife’s. Anyway long story short, I started looking for alternatives and found a girl I liked. She is 21-year old nursing school student and escorting to pay for her tuition. Her beauty is out of this world in my books and it was the best experience for me. But after a while, I left sessions with this kind of emptiness. So I thought maybe I should diversify a bit. I tried a few more girls but it just made me sick (sorry). I do not look much but my standards are really high. The city I live in does not really have that many talents and I just can not lower my bar. Then I thought if I really need some emotional connections, I probably should just find a sugar baby. So I signed up on SA. The first girl that contacted me was not looking for money. She is actually from a relatively wealthy family and just could not find her dream man. I told her I was not looking for long term relationship but she said she does not care. Anyway we are on and off for a month now and I am not sure where this relationship goes. And I am feeling more empty now than before. I never thought finding a sugar baby was taking this much time considering that I have a romantic tongue that can melt gold. Any thoughts what I should do if you were me?

 

[Flyingby]

Try not to find love or any emotional attachment. Do it for the physical aspect only. Go see pse girls. Gfe girls. Agency. Indy. Whatever. Book time for sex only. If you only bang an hour. Book an hour. Don’t get to know the ladies too much or any of their lives. Those are their lives to keep to themselves.
fyi. I knew where your story was going the moment you wrote you found a 21 year old you liked.
my recommendation. Find one you like. And see her every other session. Don’t repeat twice in a row without seeing another girl in between
Second fyi. Irrelevant but. Seems like 50% of sp are nurses. And they all come from the north shore

 

[cloudsurf]

What do most Samurai do when they fuck up ?
I`m not saying that you fall on your sword but I would advise you to see a marriage advisor as opposed to trying to fill the void with a non caring sex worker

 

[Flyingby]

I would advise you to see a marriage advisor as opposed to trying to fill the void with a non caring sex worker

Oh c’mon now Cloudy. If every guy saw a marriage counselor instead of an sp. the marriage counselors would be the ones getting breast enhancements and driving a Mercedes. The sp would all be broke

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

I can only emphasize on @Flyingby advice, never get involve emotionaly with SWs, any kind of SW! And yes, SBs are SW, no matter how they try to make it look as if they are not.

What is really puzzling me with your post is you only have 1 month as a member here and you state, we, merb members, are the closest to you next to your family!!!

Gee dude! No wonder you feel this emptyness!
You need to make some real friends, get out of your house and family, do some social activities on your own. Build a circle of friends that you appreciate and trust.
No one can go through an entire life without having a balance between their social/marital/family/professional/friendship relations.

 

[Biggie Smalls]

You have a "romantic tongue that can melt gold" but cannot convince your wife to get in bed with you after a fight? Maybe some introspection and soul-searching is in order?

 

[Fradi]

Set a date 10 years from now to see your wife again, until then see SP as many as you want and have them fuck the crap out of you.
Running after a woman that doesn’t want you SP or civilian makes zero sense.
Running after a wife that has stopped sleeping with you for 18 months makes even less sense.

 

[lastsamurai]

Try not to find love or any emotional attachment. Do it for the physical aspect only. Go see pse girls. Gfe girls. Agency. Indy. Whatever. Book time for sex only. If you only bang an hour. Book an hour. Don’t get to know the ladies too much or any of their lives. Those are their lives to keep to themselves.
fyi. I knew where your story was going the moment you wrote you found a 21 year old you liked.
my recommendation. Find one you like. And see her every other session. Don’t repeat twice in a row without seeing another girl in between
Second fyi. Irrelevant but. Seems like 50% of sp are nurses. And they all come from the north shore

Thanks. Yeah I have been looking for another girl with the same quality but could not find anyone that is even remotely close. Living in a US city as a Canadian expat does not help.

 

[lastsamurai]

What do most Samurai do when they fuck up ?
I`m not saying that you fall on your sword but I would advise you to see a marriage advisor as opposed to trying to fill the void with a non caring sex worker

Thanks. I have been talking to my wife to see a marriage counselor for a while but she just does not want to go. We were from a different culture originally.

 

[Marsouin]

The first girl that contacted me was not looking for money

Joke if the year … don’t be so naïve.

 

[lastsamurai]

Oh c’mon now Cloudy. If every guy saw a marriage counselor instead of an sp. the marriage counselors would be the ones getting breast enhancements and driving a Mercedes. The sp would all be broke

Amen

I can only emphasize on @Flyingby advice, never get involve emotionaly with SWs, any kind of SW! And yes, SBs are SW, no matter how they try to make it look as if they are not.

What is really puzzling me with your post is you only have 1 month as a member here and you state, we, merb members, are the closest to you next to your family!!!

Gee dude! No wonder you feel this emptyness!
You need to make some real friends, get out of your house and family, do some social activities on your own. Build a circle of friends that you appreciate and trust.
No one can go through an entire life without having a balance between their social/marital/family/professional/friendship relations.

Good advice. I do have a circle of friends and co-workers to go out and have a drink once in a while. When I said you guys were the closest, I meant I could only talk about this stuff here. I am planning to take my dark side to my grave.

 

[lastsamurai]

Best advice I have read in years. Absolutely perfect. And he should get a dog. Cats are great, but if the marriage ends, dogs are easier to transport to a new place. And it is your dog, not hers.

A wife your age for food, laundry and cleaning, a constant stream of hot young girls for sex, with seeing you favorite (or favorites) every other time, a pet for companionship, and if I read it correctly the post says he is a millionaire or multi-millionaire.

That is a better life than about 90 percent of merb members. Especially the ones who don’t live in Montreal.

It would be better if the wife was fun-loving, but you can’t have everything.

Thanks. I think what you were saying was I am spoiled. Patron, I think you are a very logical guy and I like your posts a lot. In fact, I read almost all of them. One thing I always wanted to ask you is that after sleeping with 150 beautiful women, did you ever feel a need for a real emotional connection with a woman?

 

[lastsamurai]

You have a "romantic tongue that can melt gold" but cannot convince your wife to get in bed with you after a fight? Maybe some introspection and soul-searching is in order?

I did get her to marry me in first place, didn’t I? I guess after 22 years, I am not at top of my game any more

 

[zelazfan]

Sounds like you are still emotionally attached to your wife.

As other members have pointed out, the SPs/SB may be a good release your physical needs, but does not solve your problem.

Don't think there is an easy answer for you, and would wonder about advice you get from a hobbying board. Having said that, I would agree with cloudsurf that you may need professional help. But if you think the situation is not salvageable, go with what Patron said.

 

[lastsamurai]

Set a date 10 years from now to see your wife again, until then see SP as many as you want and have them fuck the crap out of you.
Running after a woman that doesn’t want you SP or civilian makes zero sense.
Running after a wife that has stopped sleeping with you for 18 months makes even less sense.

Thanks. This was exactly what I was planning to do and not out of spite. Mainly because I do not have many good years left. But after all, I am not such a tough guy as Patron or you.

 

[sweetolivia]

I think if you are saying that divorce is not really an option and you still love your wife finding someone you have a connection with that will not leave you feeling void is risky. Because eventually those feelings might grow and grow and then you will want to divorce your wife for this new person. It's inevitable. That being said you maybe should try to sit with her and communicate exactly what you have told us in order to do the work to salvage your marriage. Leaving one person for another one is usually a recipe for disaster anyways so I would say try to fix it or leave and then go find someone that makes you feel better. But with that being said you have to be able to feel full without another person because then part of your happiness depends on them and can be removed at any time. I think your needs go way above sex at this point! Your marriage is not supposed to make you feel so void. What do you think ?

 

[lastsamurai]

Sounds like you are still emotionally attached to your wife.

As other members have pointed out, the SPs/SB may be a good release your physical needs, but does not solve your problem.

Don't think there is an easy answer for you, and would wonder about advice you get from a hobbying board. Having said that, I would agree with cloudsurf that you may need professional help. But if you think the situation is not salvageable, go with what Patron said.

I think our marriage has evolved over the years. And I’d like to think our marriage is like two hands now. One hand probably does not like the other one and most of the time, one hand does not even realize the existence of the other one until one day, one of the hands disappears. We have two kids and it would be causing a great pain if we parted our way. But in the meantime, I am as horny as a bull.

 

[cloudsurf]

I was married almost as long as you when my marriage crumbled. It was me who lost interest in sex and marriage. I wasn`t in the mood for escorts , but I was in the mood for spicy flings with married women as long as they were young and hot.
Within 3 months I started a long term relationship with a much younger very sexy and beautiful (single) Quebecoise lady. We were both looking for love and along with the emotional gratification came great sex. I didn`t see my first escort till that relationship ended 10 years after we met.
I think that`s what you are looking for. BTW I never saw a marriage counselor.

You know the expression shit or get off the can......well have a real serious talk with your wife and if she refuses to meet you half way then mention divorce and see how she reacts. Unfortunately covid has put a crimp into socializing but travelling and putting your golden tongue to work is your best bet to meet a new love.

 

[lastsamurai]

I think if you are saying that divorce is not really an option and you still love your wife finding someone you have a connection with that will not leave you feeling void is risky. Because eventually those feelings might grow and grow and then you will want to divorce your wife for this new person. It's inevitable. That being said you maybe should try to sit with her and communicate exactly what you have told us in order to do the work to salvage your marriage. Leaving one person for another one is usually a recipe for disaster anyways so I would say try to fix it or leave and then go find someone that makes you feel better. But with that being said you have to be able to feel full without another person because then part of your happiness depends on them and can be removed at any time. I think your needs go way above sex at this point! Your marriage is not supposed to make you feel so void. What do you think ?

Thanks for the advice. I guess I was just tired to win my wife back.

 

[sweetolivia]

Thanks for the advice. I guess I was just tired to win my wife back.

I can imagine!! Must be really frustrating but she has to also understand you are her husband she has duties as a wife towards you. Maybe if you mention divorce like other members have said that might make her realize that you are a human you have feelings and needs that need to be tended too and she is not holding up her side! Harsh conversations sometimes give us woman a holy shit I need to get it together moment