i find my sexual interests have evolved over the decades I've been doing this. I'm more into kinks and fetishes now. I have been lucky to develop many friendships with many women who I've been with multiple times and I sometimes feel embarrassed to mention to those ladies that i want to explore new things. With some of them I don't bother because I've come to learn their boundaries very well, but some are open to exploring, but even with those ladies I don't really know how to approach asking whether they would provide certain services. And it's not just embarrassment, it's a sense of not wanting the lady to think I'm some kind of perverted weirdo. Any advice?
I ask for the kink conversation in text, before meeting while finding out what they like and are into. I want to know what someone is looking for before agreeing to set up an appointment. I want to be sure we are compatible before meeting to avoid disappointment on their part.
Kink is even mentioned, in passing but to catch the attention of those looking for it, in my clipboard opener post I try to remember to share with everyone in our first few messages, to make it easier to bring up the topic without makeing it uncomfortable for them to ask. I want to encourage open communication from the start of contact.
I personally struggle with boundary talk, face to face or in the moment, not likeing deviation from what I am expecting, so I do the kink interview in writing, so I always have it to fall back on in the future. Without the written kink conversation, I will block any barriers that fall under my kink terms. (Like Doms, who try to dom, while not being approved for the kink, will be put in their place by my dominant/brat side. I will set my barriers without the need for words.)
In true form, the kink scene respects boundaries and contracts, our messages become that contract before we meet for the scene. Boundaries stated, mutual expectations met. I vet my kink expieriences.
Those open to explorative options will have it stated in their marketing. Just look for mentioning. If it isn't mentioned it isn't offered, but it doesn't hurt to ask if they offer extras.
Sometimes it is being offered threw a different marketing persona too. Some may even offer, but not provide a menu of what they offer, because kink is often a YMMV situation. We don't want to have to offer everything to everyone.
