i find my sexual interests have evolved over the decades I've been doing this. I'm more into kinks and fetishes now. I have been lucky to develop many friendships with many women who I've been with multiple times and I sometimes feel embarrassed to mention to those ladies that i want to explore new things. With some of them I don't bother because I've come to learn their boundaries very well, but some are open to exploring, but even with those ladies I don't really know how to approach asking whether they would provide certain services. And it's not just embarrassment, it's a sense of not wanting the lady to think I'm some kind of perverted weirdo. Any advice?
Ask us anything part 3
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For me this is very vague and it really depends what the kinks and fetishes are. A lot of providers are knowledgeable about those.. I think your best bet is to open the conversation with women who are open to exploring, or seeking women who are more well versed in kinks. More and more I cater to kinks and fetishes personally and I find them fascinating, but there are certain things that are off limits for me. I do very well with men who have kinks that are more on the worship and submissive side, but I am not into certain types of roleplay and kinks that would turn me into the submissive or make me feel degraded. (once again that is subjective)
Yes an sp can satisfy many kinks that a vanilla partner may not dare as it’s so liberating and you feel like all your stress is coming out shamelessly !
I have some clients that were unable to discuss it in person so they texted me and the next time I could just make it happen without having an uncomfortable talk about it
I ask for the kink conversation in text, before meeting while finding out what they like and are into. I want to know what someone is looking for before agreeing to set up an appointment. I want to be sure we are compatible before meeting to avoid disappointment on their part.
Kink is even mentioned, in passing but to catch the attention of those looking for it, in my clipboard opener post I try to remember to share with everyone in our first few messages, to make it easier to bring up the topic without makeing it uncomfortable for them to ask. I want to encourage open communication from the start of contact.
I personally struggle with boundary talk, face to face or in the moment, not likeing deviation from what I am expecting, so I do the kink interview in writing, so I always have it to fall back on in the future. Without the written kink conversation, I will block any barriers that fall under my kink terms. (Like Doms, who try to dom, while not being approved for the kink, will be put in their place by my dominant/brat side. I will set my barriers without the need for words.)
In true form, the kink scene respects boundaries and contracts, our messages become that contract before we meet for the scene. Boundaries stated, mutual expectations met. I vet my kink expieriences.
Those open to explorative options will have it stated in their marketing. Just look for mentioning. If it isn't mentioned it isn't offered, but it doesn't hurt to ask if they offer extras.
Sometimes it is being offered threw a different marketing persona too. Some may even offer, but not provide a menu of what they offer, because kink is often a YMMV situation. We don't want to have to offer everything to everyone.
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It's a very good point.
Sometimes or even most of the time, talking about it sounds weird or even creepy so by text or email helps a lot to verbalize it.
I totally understand it because I’m a bit shy too and there are some kinks that are very hard to explain in person. I also wouldn’t want to see the person’s reaction when I tell them about my kinks, it’s better if they can have the reaction they want, away from me
When I explain my kink:I totally understand it because I’m a bit shy too and there are some kinks that are very hard to explain in person. I also wouldn’t want to see the person’s reaction when I tell them about my kinks, it’s better if they can have the reaction they want, away from me
That is very true
since I became a SP I started becoming a lot more knowledgeable when it comes to kink. It's just important to figure it out with the SP. Since I posted my comment yesterday, I thought about it a lot and I realized that with a client that I have good chemistry with and that I trust, I may be way more open to exploring certain things, and I have been in the past.Like Rebaynia said, sometimes men think they can be ''dommes'' but they are not really practicing kink or well versed in it. Hence my apprehension when it comes to certain things. It also depends on my mood for me and on the context, I recently engaged in roleplay with a duo partner and it was kinda fun. The client was pleased as well. lol
No! I’ve always wanted the woman to dominate it’s just sooo hot and with such a rush! I used to bring my collar and leash to my favourite woman at a strip club! Vanilla is too ordinary and you are either kinky or not ! Listen to what’s making your heart beat fast!That is very true
Like Rebaynia said, sometimes men think they can be ''dommes'' but they are not really practicing kink or well versed in it. Hence my apprehension when it comes to certain things. It also depends on my mood for me and on the context, I recently engaged in roleplay with a duo partner and it was kinda fun. The client was pleased as well. lol
I know people have probably asked you this before but i was just wondering and always wanted to ask, that your first time doing this and your decision to fully commit to doing this i know you have rent to pay and bills but what made you look past the risks and not be scared. It mustve been hard mentally. And when you do get use to being an escort dont you look at men differently and doesnt it kindve changed the way you see relationships... You make like 300 to 400/hr so your fully dependent you can technically say i dont need men, my time with them is very valuable im the prize atleast thats what i think.
I wanted to be one at one point because i like satisfying women but i made an ad and only men replied... Then i got married and she want to leave because canada is too cold but now im alone again and my confidence is down as well. I always think about stop going to strip clubs and stopping the hobby but its how i cope. My question to you is do you genuinely like your clients and they can take you out for fun like to laronde or something that doesnt have sex attached to it without being monetized because the client just wants to have fun and hes a regular who wants you to be open to the possibility of just having a good moment with you. Its basically like saying i pay your rent, your car, your lifestyle, do i ever get a chance to spend actual you wanna spend time with me time or is that just the arrangement and theres nothing any guy can do about it. I know answers may vary, i just want to see if going to these places like massage parlours and seeing these women if off the back im labeled as a loser etc... thats why i havent done it in a long time only strip clubs because when a stripper likes me shell just stay at my table and hang out whether the club is alive or empty just buy her one or 2 dribks to be nice. Im sorry if this was long just want to know how im seen in the eyes of an sp or mp.
Because the client just wants to have fun? No.
If I ask you? Yes, maybe.
If I texted you ‘hey let’s go to Barleys for breakfast’ out of the blue, I wouldn’t expect you to pay more than the food.
If you text me I’d like to take you for breakfast Sunday
Then I would expect you to pay me.
1 is me volunteering, 2 is you requesting my time. Replace the activity with anything you’d like, still the same but also that’s mostly why I never text people that I want to go somewhere
3rd option if I really like you, you request my time and I give you a huge discount
If someone actually paid my rent it would be VERY different but no one currently is paying for that. Is your boss paying your rent? No, he’s paying you a salary and you pay your rent with it. Semantics you’ll say…
It depends on the person. I can offer my perspective. Even if I've had bad experiences, being an escort actually gave me faith in men because I met a lot of men who treat me very well and who are trustworthy. I also see shades of grey in people's behavior.. nobody is a total asshole or a perfect angel and that's okay.
But you have to make the difference between a client provider relationship and a real romantic relationship. They're not the same. I still feel the desire to have a romantic partner personally and I don't expect them to act the same way as my clients.
What has changed is that boundaries are more and more important to me no matter what kind of relationship. Being an escort in a way have me an opportunity to practice healthy boundaries. I see certain red flags a lot more easily now. But I also see green flags more easily.
I won't expand on this too much.. My friendships and relationships with other people are much healthier now tho.
The answers will vary. Personally I do really like many of my clients. My decision not to hang out with clients for free doesn't have anything to do with our connection not being genuine.. it's because I want to maintain certain boundaries. What you're describing sounds like a sugar baby relationship but without compensation and I doubt anybody is interested in that.. but maybe if you see an escort enough times, she will make the decision to hang out with you off the clock. I have heard of this happening. It's just not something I would personally do because I don't like blurred lines. A lot can go wrong in a situation like this
If you are looking for a romantic relationship with an SP you are barking up the wrong tree.
It is a job for them, a way to make a living and pay their rent.
Does it happen ? Only in extremely rare circumstances and it is even rarer for it to last.
Can you be friends with an SP and do things together sometimes outside of a client provider relationship.?
Yes but even that is rare and it may take years of seeing each other regularly, establishing trust and being able to keep the 2 relationships apart and not take advantage of each other.
I would never look for or want a romantic relationship, for one the age gap is far too wide the work itself does not lend itself to relationships lasting and I figure that the lady deserves to have a loving relationship with someone her own age and be happy just like I have had most of my life with the lady I will always be in love with.
Friendship I can handle and it is an extremely nice thing to have an SP who you have a connection with, who you trust and who trusts you.
They are women just like any other, some are gorgeous, intelligent and really a pleasure to have as a friend.
It is a job for them, a way to make a living and pay their rent.
Does it happen ? Only in extremely rare circumstances and it is even rarer for it to last.
Can you be friends with an SP and do things together sometimes outside of a client provider relationship.?
Yes but even that is rare and it may take years of seeing each other regularly, establishing trust and being able to keep the 2 relationships apart and not take advantage of each other.
I would never look for or want a romantic relationship, for one the age gap is far too wide the work itself does not lend itself to relationships lasting and I figure that the lady deserves to have a loving relationship with someone her own age and be happy just like I have had most of my life with the lady I will always be in love with.
Friendship I can handle and it is an extremely nice thing to have an SP who you have a connection with, who you trust and who trusts you.
They are women just like any other, some are gorgeous, intelligent and really a pleasure to have as a friend.
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