Addicted to Porn?

[Loutre]

So here's the deal. Hopefully, some of you will have some thoughts that you can share.

The last two times I've started dating someone, I've found it very slow to get an erection with them and hard to maintain it. It usually improves some over time, but it is definitely contributing negatively to the relationships.

By contrast, I can easily get rock hard watching porn and I can maintain that erection for over an hour easily.

I seem to have programmed my arousal pattern to respond to porn rather than a live girl - even one I am attracted to. It's not that I watch a lot of porn, it just seems to turn me on a lot more than being with a woman. I'm not happy with the situation

I'm not a hobbyist per se, but I have on occasion dabbled with experiences ranging from very enjoyable to not very. The situation is the same with an MP or SP - slow to arouse and hard to maintain an erection.

I was thinking that it might make sense to find an understanding SP or MP to see if I can work through this with them. Any thoughts you may have will be appreciated.

 

[TigerWould]

Interesting, friend of mine in high school and cegep had the exact same problem. Eventually he faced the fact that he was actually gay! No joke. He was denying it all through his teens and even early 20s. We were all wondering how he couldn't get hard ons with girls when we were having trouble keeping it down...even just holding hands with a girl we'd get hard! He dated many girls and his problem persisted. Now he's come out of the closet and I hear he's very happy. Oh ya, he also loved porn. Not saying you're gay but your story brought back memories!!

 

[Loutre]

Interesting, friend of mine in high school and cegep had the exact same problem. Eventually he faced the fact that he was actually gay! No joke. He was denying it all through his teens and even early 20s. We were all wondering how he couldn't get hard ons with girls when we were having trouble keeping it down...even just holding hands with a girl we'd get hard! He dated many girls and his problem persisted. Now he's come out of the closet and I hear he's very happy. Oh ya, he also loved porn. Not saying you're gay but your story brought back memories!!

Thanks for the thought Tigerwould. I know many people who have been straigtht (married with children) who have later decided that they were gay - both men and women. And I know two women who were adamant lesbians who got into relationships with men when they wanted to have children. I think in North America the majority of people are mostly straight, some people are bi-sexual, and a few are exclusively gay throughout their lives. I have several times shared physical intimacy with men (at an open summer camp) and never wanted to do anything more. In the same context with women, I have had to watch myself to keep the touch from becoming too sensual. I've never found a man that I wished I could be sexual with, and the vast majority of women I would want to except for the many social conventions that prevent this.

Maybe it is partly age as certainly when I was younger sometimes just walking next to a girl and feeling the tension build... it's can be hard to walk unobtrusively with a hard on. Probably it's partly the slowing down with age, and I would accomodate that excepy for the difference in my response when watching porn and being with a woman. I'd like to switch the response.

I've thought about cialis and viagra, but it doesn't seem to be a physiological issue, but probably a faulty learned arousal pattern. If I was to try to change the arousal pattern with an MP or SP, can anyone make a recommendation? I would think someone who is not in a rush to get the job done so to speak.