Approaching women

[Rebaynia]

My hunch is that quite a few women nowadays would love to be stay at home moms, but fear the stigma. Isn't that crazy that we've come to this? Raising a child.

Let's acknowledge that the cost of living crisis is not helping at all.

I couldn't be a stay at home mom. I tried when I was unemployment and also had to be on welfare for a while, for unemployment to pay for my schooling (I was 25 with 2 kids, and needed to make more of myself then that. And unemployment was my only way to get further education. If i went to work i would loose that opportunity. ) I needed to work to feel like I could add value to my self-worth. I applaud trad-wives, the whole point of feminism was for equality, so women could choose to make that choice, and not have to rely on the decisions of men to survive. But if she is in a relationship, and they both want this kind of home, then all the power to them, and I'm happy they found a complimentary relationship for their needs.
Feminism wasn't ment to overpower men, it was designed so women's livelihood wasn't dependant on men, and keep them trapped in unhealthy relationships. But it also stands for if that is what they want/need for their happiness, reffering to both people in the relationship, then it is a beautiful thing.
The economy does play a role in this though. It is 1 thing for someone to support just themselves on say 30,000/year, it is another thing entirely to support oneself on that compared to supporting 2 adults and possibly children on that same amount. And the idea that the money belongs only to the person earning it completely devalues the other partner. And I say this coming from relationships where I was the one often supporting them, as a civi, i wasn't an SW. So roles reversed. Admittedly I didn't trust men for a relationship where I had to rely on him, the hims I had dealt with in relationships proved they couldn't be trusted as providers for the home. I provided for myself and my kids, and the man was the addition, not me and my kids being his addition.
Thankfully my relationship now isn't like that, but he handles his household, and I handle mine. One day it will be blended, but that will be when both our kids are ready and in the next stages of their lives, for easier transition.

 

[Nachoy]

I get you for your point.
But I must say, as much as I desire the kinky, the most outlandish things are reserved for my master only. I had enough serious relationships that I wouldn't share my fantasies with, because they wouldn't understand. And I wouldn't do them with anyone else either. Only within the acceptance, love and trust I have with my master do I allow him the knowledge of everything. I couldn't trust someone who didn't whole heartedly love me know me to my core, or do any of that with me either.
And with all that, it's mostly vanilla with people I meet, or they get just as much as I allow of them to see that side of myself. Clients have limits, my master/love/life relationship doesn't, because I know he can be trusted not to go too far.

How did you develop the Fetlife with the kinks and the master-slave relationships
I’m generally vanilla with all my relationships but recently friend wants to introduce me into the lifestyle
I think he is a munch specialist and like to organize get togethers.
Did you observe for a while if it was for you before jumping in?

 

[Rebaynia]

I will share this on this topic. If anyone has ever seen the movie "Deliverance" 1972 with Burt Reynolds, and Jon Voight among others, they would know there was a brutal rape scene in the movie. It was a man, raping another man, and telling him to "squeal like a pig boy", a subtle hint at what this rapist was doing on the farm in Appalachia growing up, lol!

Before the movie was released feminist organizations in the US, and indeed globally, protested loudly about this rape scene and the depiction of another man raping another man.

Why?

Precisely because it was another man raping another man, and not a woman, therefore it did not benefit their cause. Yes, men understand that women are raped by men, no doubt about that. What seems to fall by the wayside is that men rape other men, and it is never talked about. One needs to venture no further than any prison in Canada or the US where this is a daily occurrence and reality. Men do not talk about this shame.

Shame on these feminist organizations for attempting to deny a male reality, rape. They are the same organizations that attempted to have misandry eradicated from the dictionary and failed miserably, just like they did with the rape scene from Deliverance.

That is their error. The very fact that a man can be made to suffer the same fate at the hands of another man, should only be viewed as a confirmation about how unsafe anyone in a vulnerable situation can suffer SA. My thought when seeing this post only backs up that awful meme that circulates, which would a woman prefer to be alone in the woods with, a bear or a man. Same can be said for a man, a bear or a man. We never know the intentions of another human being, but we know what the bears intentions are, and are more able to avoid them.

 

[Rebaynia]

How did you develop the Fetlife with the kinks and the master-slave relationships
I’m generally vanilla with all my relationships but recently friend wants to introduce me into the lifestyle
I think he is a munch specialist and like to organize get togethers.
Did you observe for a while if it was for you before jumping in?

It was something always within me. I had crazy fantasies before internet porn became so prevalent. Having fantasies that were just in my mind before I knew there was even a thing about it. Having my partner enjoy sharing me with others was often a constant reoccurring one. (One of those things I couldn't share with my past relationships, and actually only got braught up when I was already locked in, in this one.) But I knew I wanted a solid D/S relationship back when I was a young teenager, I just wasn't going to settle for just any dom though.

I went to my first few events while I was in a long term relationship, with someone who was safe to explore with because i wasn't all that emotionally invested in him, saw him as a good toy. And was exposed to quite a kinky array of options. I thought everything facinating, and exciting. But I was the dominant one in that relationship, and my desire was to expierience these things as a sub to the someone I dreamed I would choose to belong to one day if I was so lucky.

I had been to a munch, I found the people so facinating, and also went to an orgy party planned by someone 6 years ago, but was shy to get involved, and only seemed to gravitate to the 1 M/S pair that was there, and bonded as we spoke about nipple clamps. I was on the outside looking in for many years. Being educated hopeing one day I would find my someone. I had many doms over the years try to play dominate, but I would overpower them and they would submit to me, which I lost intrest in them instantly when they did. Had a few more offer to educate me in the mean time so I could start experiencing, I refused, because to me, I am more picky about who I chose to allow to dominate me, and submit to, than I was about choosing a regular relationship. He had to earn the right for my submission, and that didn't come easy. Even for him the first contact was about 16-17 years ago, and only really started to get to know him about 11 years ago. It was a long time friendship before we ever became a couple, often in single moments between relationships because we were both the type to put our relationship 1st, and cut contact with possibilities to give those relationships the best chance for success. And he isn't the type to have revolving temporary relationships. When he commits to someone it is all of him who commits, they just weren't compatible in the end. Too much compromise when you have to shut down a whole part of your being and desires to be with someone, we both learnt that lesson. We found eachother, and don't have to compromise our core selves together, we enrich and expand on it together.

 

[Enjoying life]

He tells me she is miserable and stubborn and can’t believe he looks at porn after the relationship! WTF. I find it so healthy to engage in kinky stuff as it’s good for the mind! Being closed minded with a very low libido is actually very unhealthy! Thank God I’m not a vanilla!

Rebaynia is very sexy!​

 

[maymay]

Shitting where you eat is no bueno but very fun because you get a constant whiff of it

funny expression but exactly

 

[Fradi]

Perhaps on the surface but it's also true in his case. He cheats, but apart from this he is very loyal to his wife, as his dog is to him. I have observed it. He just isn't getting something from her that he needs.

He is a cheat period nothing loyal or respectful about it.
Marriage is a commitment based on respect, love and especially trust.
You want to see escorts and chase pussy, separate or get divorced but stop this bullshit about being loyal and he still loves his wife bla bla bla.
More than likely he is scared of being taken to the cleaners if he gets divorced or separated so he prefers to be a lying scumbag cheat.

 

[Enjoying life]

He is a cheat period nothing loyal or respectful about it.
Marriage is a commitment based on respect, love and especially trust.
You want to see escorts and chase pussy, separate or get divorced but stop this bullshit about being loyal and he still loves his wife bla bla bla.
More than likely he is scared of being taken to the cleaners if he gets divorced or separated so he prefers to be a lying scumbag cheat.

He’s tide into money with her and he knows it!

 

[EagerBeaver]

He is a cheat period nothing loyal or respectful about it.
Marriage is a commitment based on respect, love and especially trust.
You want to see escorts and chase pussy, separate or get divorced but stop this bullshit about being loyal and he still loves his wife bla bla bla.
More than likely he is scared of being taken to the cleaners if he gets divorced or separated so he prefers to be a lying scumbag cheat.

I do believe he is in love with his wife, and I think he believes he is loyal to her except strictly in the monogamous sexual sense. From having observed his interactions with her I believe there is love in their marriage and that he is a good provider/father/husband.

Would she consider it loyalty if she knew the truth? Probably not. But my point in making that post is that I think there is a little bit of a gray area here. It's very easy to call every married man who sees escorts a lying, cheating scumbag. Many probably are. However, I have known him for over 20 years and I just don't see him in that light. I think the sexual adventure part of his marriage has checked out and he needed that to be fulfilled elsewhere. I think only that aspect of their marriage has checked out, from my observation of him and his wife socially.

The only time I ever got angry with him was when he involved me in one of the lies he told his wife about why he was going to Montreal. The lie was revealed when his wife called him and he picked up the phone while standing next to me and had to explain to her where he was and what he was doing. I got very upset with him and warned him to never involve me or my name in the lies he told his wife about why he was in Montreal, again.

I try to avoid being too judgmental here. I think in his head it gets rationalized. One time he acknowledged his infidelity to me and told me a long story about finding out as a teenager about his father cheating on his mother, and confronting him about it. And the point of the story seemed to be that he knew he had followed in his father's footsteps after the judgmentalistic attitude of his youth. I think everyone may have different reasons, and my post was meant to suggest a modicum of sensitivity to his without overt judgmentalism.

 

[Enjoying life]

I do believe he is in love with his wife, and I think he believes he is loyal to her except strictly in the monogamous sexual sense. From having observed his interactions with her I believe there is love in their marriage and that he is a good provider/father/husband.

Would she consider it loyalty if she knew the truth? Probably not. But my point in making that post is that I think there is a little bit of a gray area here. It's very easy to call every married man who sees escorts a lying, cheating scumbag. Many probably are. However, I have known him for over 20 years and I just don't see him in that light. I think the sexual adventure part of his marriage has checked out and he needed that to be fulfilled elsewhere. I think only that aspect of their marriage has checked out, from my observation of him and his wife socially.

The only time I ever got angry with him was when he involved me in one of the lies he told his wife about why he was going to Montreal. The lie was revealed when his wife called him and he picked up the phone while standing next to me and had to explain to her where he was and what he was doing. I got very upset with him and warned him to never involve me or my name in the lies he told his wife about why he was in Montreal, again.

I try to avoid being too judgmental here. I think in his head it gets rationalized. One time he acknowledged his infidelity to me and told me a long story about finding out as a teenager about his father cheating on his mother, and confronting him about it. And the point of the story seemed to be that he knew he had followed in his father's footsteps after the judgmentalistic attitude of his youth. I think everyone may have different reasons, and my post was meant to suggest a modicum of sensitivity to his without overt judgmentalism.

Does he pay all the bills or his wife works too?

 

[EagerBeaver]

Does he pay all the bills or his wife works too?

They both have very good jobs. I am guessing he makes deep 6 figures (maybe 250K) and she makes low 6 figures or high 5 figures. No question he could get raked in a divorce especially under the law here.

 

[Enjoying life]

They both have very good jobs. I am guessing he makes deep 6 figures (maybe 250K) and she makes low 6 figures or high 5 figures. No question he could get raked in a divorce especially under the law here.

Not an easy situation

 

[Fradi]

I do believe he is in love with his wife, and I think he believes he is loyal to her except strictly in the monogamous sexual sense. From having observed his interactions with her I believe there is love in their marriage and that he is a good provider/father/husband.

Would she consider it loyalty if she knew the truth? Probably not. But my point in making that post is that I think there is a little bit of a gray area here. It's very easy to call every married man who sees escorts a lying, cheating scumbag. Many probably are. However, I have known him for over 20 years and I just don't see him in that light. I think the sexual adventure part of his marriage has checked out and he needed that to be fulfilled elsewhere. I think only that aspect of their marriage has checked out, from my observation of him and his wife socially.

The only time I ever got angry with him was when he involved me in one of the lies he told his wife about why he was going to Montreal. The lie was revealed when his wife called him and he picked up the phone while standing next to me and had to explain to her where he was and what he was doing. I got very upset with him and warned him to never involve me or my name in the lies he told his wife about why he was in Montreal, again.

I try to avoid being too judgmental here. I think in his head it gets rationalized. One time he acknowledged his infidelity to me and told me a long story about finding out as a teenager about his father cheating on his mother, and confronting him about it. And the point of the story seemed to be that he knew he had followed in his father's footsteps after the judgmentalistic attitude of his youth. I think everyone may have different reasons, and my post was meant to suggest a modicum of sensitivity to his without overt judgmentalism.

These are all just excuses plain and simple.
I have little sensitivity or sympathie for someone who cheats and lies.
Is it being judgemental, yeah you can call it that or call it the truth, take your pick.
Yes he may be a good provider and a good father that is something entirely different.


If they would have an open marriage or she knew and was ok with it that would be entirely different.
Men try to justify being a lying cheating scumbag by the old excuse of not wanting to hurt her, when in actual fact they mean I don’t want to end up being taken to the cleaners.
There are many reasons marriages, relationships break up, cheating is usually right up there near the top.

 

[EagerBeaver]

These are all just excuses plain and simple.
I have little sensitivity or sympathie for someone who cheats and lies.
Is it being judgemental, yeah you can call it that or call it the truth, take your pick.
Yes he may be a good provider and a good father that is something entirely different.


If they would have an open marriage or she knew and was ok with it that would be entirely different.
Men try to justify being a lying cheating scumbag by the old excuse of not wanting to hurt her, when in actual fact they mean I don’t want to end up being taken to the cleaners.
There are many reasons marriages, relationships break up, cheating is usually right up there near the top.

I was hoping your posts would stimulate the "lying cheating scumbags" on this board, that is the married hobbyists, of whom I am certain there are many, would post to defend themselves, and perhaps giving reasoning such as you have suggested. I have been single my whole life and am not among their number, but only posted to mention the gray areas involved with this type of sweeping judgmentalism based on my own feelings about a friend who is among them. That being said, I am not their union counsel, and I will let each of them step up to respond to your post as they see fit.

 

[Fradi]

I was hoping your posts would stimulate the "lying cheating scumbags" on this board, that is the married hobbyists, of whom I am certain there are many, would post to defend themselves, and perhaps giving reasoning such as you have suggested. I have been single my whole life and am not among their number, but only posted to mention the gray areas involved with this type of sweeping judgmentalism based on my own feelings about a friend who is among them. That being said, I am not their union counsel, and I will let each of them step up to respond to your post as they see fit.

My point is very simple and yes I am sure there are many married men on this board who cheat and will disagree with my view of cheating and lying.
There are hundreds of reasons and excuses for it and yes we have all had friends and probably still have friends that fall into this category.

There are no gray areas just excuses and arguments to ease people’s conscious or to prevent them from being sued in court and being ruined financially.
It is also true that it takes 2 to make or break a relationship and men and women can be equally responsible and are both very capable of cheating and lying to justify their actions to themselves it is not gender specific.
Yes there are consequences to being honest lol. and for lying and cheating.
There is also the issue of people are human and frail and do make mistakes that they regret and may never repeat.
I am not advocating a break up or confession in these cases, but it is not a gray area, you did in fact cheat and lie and will have to live with it.

If your relationship / marriage is not working out or happy then dissolve it and move on, unfortunately when there are children involved they become the innocent bystanders of failed relationships.

 

[Enjoying life]

I was hoping your posts would stimulate the "lying cheating scumbags" on this board, that is the married hobbyists, of whom I am certain there are many, would post to defend themselves, and perhaps giving reasoning such as you have suggested. I have been single my whole life and am not among their number, but only posted to mention the gray areas involved with this type of sweeping judgmentalism based on my own feelings about a friend who is among them. That being said, I am not their union counsel, and I will let each of them step up to respond to your post as they see fit.

It’s either marry the nice guy or scumbag ! Scumbag always wins it seems!

 

[maymay]

It’s either marry the nice guy or scumbag ! Scumbag always wins it seems!

My work buddy got into a relationship with a married women, i kept telling him i did that at 23 with a women that had a boyfriend, she kept bashing him, she came at my house and gave me the best sex i ever had, this still stands, i am 48 now. She was thunder and lightening, but what i did not know is that i was her way out of a bad relationship, some women cannot be alone for too long they need to monkey branch (cheat and leave there current boyfriend husband for someone else) needless to say cheaters are cheaters, and sadly most people think that they will never get cheated on. My work buddy called me last night and she dumped him, she got the divorce and now she is free, worse is that for her age she is a stunningly beautiful women, and my friend is well short etc, so that women is gonna be able to get a lot of men.

I feel sad for my buddy but i warned him many times the red flags were everywhere, but he did not listen to me, i was too high on is cloud.

I am not saying all women are cheaters, because this is not true, some people get in relationships and it works, sadly for me it did not, i can honestly say that my ex girlfriend was a good women and not a cheater we both agree to end our relationship that was going nowhere, but there are so people who would rather cheat there way out of a relationship.

Guess i am alone again in the lap of luxury.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Rebaynia is very sexy!​

True

 

[Enjoying life]

True! Also love your blue eyes! Heh!

 

[Rebaynia]

True

Lol. Oh dear, so are you. .