Ask us anything part 3

[Sylar]

Have you ever refrainded from seeing a MERB member solely based on their comments on merb?
Vice versa. Have you reached out to a member to offer your services based on you liking their writing style?

I assume the question was for SPs, but I’ll answer anyway. I met @AirBo because I like his style and humor on the board.

 

[Julia Sky]

Have you ever refrainded from seeing a MERB member solely based on their comments on merb?
Vice versa. Have you reached out to a member to offer your services based on you liking their writing style?

Yes and it was the same guy in both cases.

I didn't want to see him because his posts made me think I'm not really his type, but I also really want to meet him because his personality is attractive. Lol it's a weird dilemma

 

[talkinghead]

Vice versa. Have you reached out to a member to offer your services based on you liking their writing style?

This is kind of off-topic and maybe a question for a mod but I've wondered about whether SPs can reach out to members, hoping for a date. (It happened to me a few times years ago but not recently.) Also, is it within MERB's policies for a member to post an ISO and encourage SPs to respond with PMs? Could I post: "ISO an SP who loves Frida Kahlo and MF Doom; if that's you, message me"??

 

[Workingman]

Yes and it was the same guy in both cases.

I didn't want to see him because his posts made me think I'm not really his type, but I also really want to meet him because his personality is attractive. Lol it's a weird dilemma

Personality trumps types imo. I used to think I had a type, but so many ppl have shattered that with thier personality and charm as an individual.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Have you ever refrainded from seeing a MERB member solely based on their comments on merb?
Vice versa. Have you reached out to a member to offer your services based on you liking their writing style?

I'll be frank. I used to be very wary of interacting with merb users because of bad experiences I've has in the beginning of my career as SP.

That being said, I have developed a lot of empathy and respect for some of the members here and I feel safe seeing some of my colleagues I appreciate as well a lot of gentlemen have been super nice and welcoming

However.. I will not dodge the question: if a merb user gives me his handle and I see that he posted a lot of negative reviews and disrespectful comments, I'm not likely to accept seeing him. This may not seem fair, but it's for my own safety and mental health

 

[Lunaseraphim]

This is kind of off-topic and maybe a question for a mod but I've wondered about whether SPs can reach out to members, hoping for a date. (It happened to me a few times years ago but not recently.) Also, is it within MERB's policies for a member to post an ISO and encourage SPs to respond with PMs? Could I post: "ISO an SP who loves Frida Kahlo and MF Doom; if that's you, message me"??

If you're seriously asking that question I love Frida khalo and mf doom lol.

 

[talkinghead]

If you're seriously asking that question I love Frida khalo and mf doom lol.

I was being serious, and I love them, too!--though I meant it more as a general policy question. A lot of men seek acronyms and innuendo (CIM, MSOG, greek), and I've been there, but these days I often seek nonsexual experiences (in addition to playtime) that might not show up on an SP's website or be known to clients. I enjoy having a nice bottle of wine (and/or 420, nothing harder or illegal) to end the day, putting on some tunes and an easy buzz, and having a fun, lively conversation: music, the arts, this hobby, goofy stories, etc. On the one hand, this isn't especially hard to find and there are lots of ladies who (seem to) enjoy hanging out like this; on the other hand, it's most definitely *not* something that all SPs can or want to do--and I don't think it's fair of me to expect it or even ask for it. For some SPs, talking is harder work than f%^ing. Luna, I can tell from your posts out here that you're the real deal, but I can say from experience that many SPs who advertise that they love "books, fine wine, museums, organic food, and yoga" ... are indulging in creative marketing. Shocking, I know!

 

[LC18]

Have you reached out to a member to offer your services based on you liking their writing style?

That’s solicitation so, no. I’m always excited when people mention they’ve read my posts on merb during the booking process.

Like what have you read?

 

[CLOUD 500]

[Anyone]

What is your definition of a fit body? When you see that on an ad or when a client gives you that description of themselves. What do you expect?

To me it means she has a tiny flat stomach and is somewhat toned.

 

[DouMan]

I was being serious, and I love them, too!--though I meant it more as a general policy question. A lot of men seek acronyms and innuendo (CIM, MSOG, greek), and I've been there, but these days I often seek nonsexual experiences (in addition to playtime) that might not show up on an SP's website or be known to clients. I enjoy having a nice bottle of wine (and/or 420, nothing harder or illegal) to end the day, putting on some tunes and an easy buzz, and having a fun, lively conversation: music, the arts, this hobby, goofy stories, etc. On the one hand, this isn't especially hard to find and there are lots of ladies who (seem to) enjoy hanging out like this; on the other hand, it's most definitely *not* something that all SPs can or want to do--and I don't think it's fair of me to expect it or even ask for it. For some SPs, talking is harder work than f%^ing. Luna, I can tell from your posts out here that you're the real deal, but I can say from experience that many SPs who advertise that they love "books, fine wine, museums, organic food, and yoga" ... are indulging in creative marketing. Shocking, I know!

Don't want to intrude and I really get your point @talkinghead but this must be tread lightly.

This approach may be more suited after multiple dates for certain providers and even then, there may be reason for caution in some cases. Often it may raise, if not a red flag, at least an orange one.

This approach will spook many since it very much resembles a regular dating site. Friendly interaction, suggesting social dates without paying and leading to "hey we're good friends we could have a free one right?".

Not for everyone and for those who may accept boundries must be clearly set right at the beginning and respected. This can easily and rapidly go in a very bad direction if not.

 

[LC18]

I can say from experience that many SPs who advertise that they love "books, fine wine, museums, organic food, and yoga" ... are indulging in creative marketing.

You brought a book to someone and they didn’t know how to read?

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I was being serious, and I love them, too!--though I meant it more as a general policy question. A lot of men seek acronyms and innuendo (CIM, MSOG, greek), and I've been there, but these days I often seek nonsexual experiences (in addition to playtime) that might not show up on an SP's website or be known to clients. I enjoy having a nice bottle of wine (and/or 420, nothing harder or illegal) to end the day, putting on some tunes and an easy buzz, and having a fun, lively conversation: music, the arts, this hobby, goofy stories, etc. On the one hand, this isn't especially hard to find and there are lots of ladies who (seem to) enjoy hanging out like this; on the other hand, it's most definitely *not* something that all SPs can or want to do--and I don't think it's fair of me to expect it or even ask for it. For some SPs, talking is harder work than f%^ing. Luna, I can tell from your posts out here that you're the real deal, but I can say from experience that many SPs who advertise that they love "books, fine wine, museums, organic food, and yoga" ... are indulging in creative marketing. Shocking, I know!

A lot of what you describe fits very well with the type of experience I can provide I love talking. As long as I'm getting compensated for social time, it's all good with me

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Don't want to intrude and I really get your point @talkinghead but this must be tread lightly.

This approach may be more suited after multiple dates for certain providers and even then, there may be reason for caution in some cases. Often it may raise, if not a red flag, at least an orange one.

This approach will spook many since it very much resembles a regular dating site. Friendly interaction, suggesting social dates without paying and leading to "hey we're good friends we could have a free one right?".

Not for everyone and for those who may accept boundries must be clearly set right at the beginning and respected. This can easily and rapidly go in a very bad direction if not.

For me if a client tells me he wants a lot of social time that isn't a red flag at all as long as he's willing to pay for it and as long as I know how long the date will last, how many hours of social time and how many hours of intimacy etc. I actually love this type of booking because I enjoy getting to know someone

 

[Sylar]

Don't want to intrude and I really get your point @talkinghead but this must be tread lightly.

This approach may be more suited after multiple dates for certain providers and even then, there may be reason for caution in some cases. Often it may raise, if not a red flag, at least an orange one.

This approach will spook many since it very much resembles a regular dating site. Friendly interaction, suggesting social dates without paying and leading to "hey we're good friends we could have a free one right?".

Not for everyone and for those who may accept boundries must be clearly set right at the beginning and respected. This can easily and rapidly go in a very bad direction if not.

I understood that he would still be paying the normal rate.

 

[talkinghead]

Don't want to intrude and I really get your point @talkinghead but this must be tread lightly.

This approach may be more suited after multiple dates for certain providers and even then, there may be reason for caution in some cases. Often it may raise, if not a red flag, at least an orange one.

This approach will spook many since it very much resembles a regular dating site. Friendly interaction, suggesting social dates without paying and leading to "hey we're good friends we could have a free one right?".

Not for everyone and for those who may accept boundries must be clearly set right at the beginning and respected. This can easily and rapidly go in a very bad direction if not.

You're not intruding at all and I appreciate your response! I'm genuinely curious what part of my post seemed to raise a red or orange flag. I'm especially interested in what part seemed to push boundaries, since I am ALL about boundaries. I don't ever want to do that, in person or in anticipation of a date. Many Indies offer social time, and I've done that--an hour in the hotel bar, two hours upstairs. If I'm using an agency, I just tell the booker that I like a woman who speaks English and enjoys talking; that's it, and I hope for the best. I'm not sure what it sounds like I'm after but it's really a couple glasses of wine and some smart conversation and laughter, along with the physical fun (!). I agree that "chemistry," whatever that means, may take a few dates. I think, though, I mean something else: two adults, respecting each other's privacy, shooting the shit and having some fun. And most of the time in Montreal that happens!

I hope this doesn't sound rude but I keep my expectations in check with agencies. It's different for me, though, with indies. I don't indulge as often as many men out here do, and I only book 2-3 hour dates. I can afford (in every sense) a meh experience with an agency girl, but it's a bigger investment with an indy.

I see that Sylar responded and YES, ABSOLUTELY, I'm talking about paying for a professional experience. I would never cross the line and suggest anything more. I actually prefer my personal/social life and my hobby life to be separate.

 

[Sylar]

You're not intruding at all and I appreciate your response! I'm genuinely curious what part of my post seemed to raise a red or orange flag. I'm especially interested in what part seemed to push boundaries, since I am ALL about boundaries. I don't ever want to do that, in person or in anticipation of a date. Many Indies offer social time, and I've done that--an hour in the hotel bar, two hours upstairs. If I'm using an agency, I just tell the booker that I like a woman who speaks English and enjoys talking; that's it, and I hope for the best. I'm not sure what it sounds like I'm after but it's really a couple glasses of wine and some smart conversation and laughter, along with the physical fun (!). I agree that "chemistry," whatever that means, may take a few dates. I think, though, I mean something else: two adults, respecting each other's privacy, shooting the shit and having some fun. And most of the time in Montreal that happens!

I hope this doesn't sound rude but I keep my expectations in check with agencies. It's different for me, though, with indies. I don't indulge as often as many men out here do, and I only book 2-3 hour dates. I can afford (in every sense) a meh experience with an agency girl, but it's a bigger investment with an indy.

I see that Sylar responded and YES, ABSOLUTELY, I'm talking about paying for a professional experience. I would never cross the line and suggest anything more. I actually prefer my personal/social life and my hobby life to be separate.

I am not even a SP and I would hang out with you.

 

[DouMan]

You're not intruding at all and I appreciate your response! I'm genuinely curious what part of my post seemed to raise a red or orange flag. I'm especially interested in what part seemed to push boundaries, since I am ALL about boundaries. I don't ever want to do that, in person or in anticipation of a date. Many Indies offer social time, and I've done that--an hour in the hotel bar, two hours upstairs. If I'm using an agency, I just tell the booker that I like a woman who speaks English and enjoys talking; that's it, and I hope for the best. I'm not sure what it sounds like I'm after but it's really a couple glasses of wine and some smart conversation and laughter, along with the physical fun (!). I agree that "chemistry," whatever that means, may take a few dates. I think, though, I mean something else: two adults, respecting each other's privacy, shooting the shit and having some fun. And most of the time in Montreal that happens!

I hope this doesn't sound rude but I keep my expectations in check with agencies. It's different for me, though, with indies. I don't indulge as often as many men out here do, and I only book 2-3 hour dates. I can afford (in every sense) a meh experience with an agency girl, but it's a bigger investment with an indy.

I see that Sylar responded and YES, ABSOLUTELY, I'm talking about paying for a professional experience. I would never cross the line and suggest anything more. I actually prefer my personal/social life and my hobby life to be separate.

Please do not see this as personal since it is far from being the case. By seeing your profile and description I, as most readers, see that you are honest and straight-forward with your intentions and therefore a provider would very likely feel very at ease with your request.

As many replied that as long as social time is understood to be on the clock, all is well.

I still stand though behind my words being true in too many cases that we have probably all witnessed. As I said in another thread "Faut être prudent car ce milieu demande pas seulement un éveil sexuel mais aussi une maturité émotionnel."

Once again my friend, sorry if my comment came across as personnel.

 

[talkinghead]

I am not even a SP and I would hang out with you.

Do you charge extra for an outcall to a 4 or 5 star downtown hotel? I do have my limits....

 

[talkinghead]

Please do not see this as personal since it is far from being the case. By seeing your profile and description I, as most readers, see that you are honest and straight-forward with your intentions and therefore a provider would very likely feel very at ease with your request.

As many replied that as long as social time is understood to be on the clock, all is well.

I still stand though behind my words being true in too many cases that we have probably all witnessed. As I said in another thread "Faut être prudent car ce milieu demande pas seulement un éveil sexuel mais aussi une maturité émotionnel."

Once again my friend, sorry if my comment came across as personnel.

Your comments came across as thoughtful, considerate, and ethical. I appreciate them. Respect!

 

[Sylar]

Do you charge extra for an outcall to a 4 or 5 star downtown hotel? I do have my limits....

No, I get booked so often, I can afford a monthly public transport ticket.