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Ask us anything part 3

Fradi

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On a more serious note, I do mention that I am Asian while giving an approximate description of myself. It just makes things easier even if it is not required as part of the screening process.
Like at a border crossing mention only what they ask for lol.
 
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Lunaseraphim

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[Clients]

Why do you feel the need to mention that you’re white? Most of us either have a form on our website or if you message us will send you a few things we require to book. Even when we don’t ask for race, some of you will mention that they’re white. Why?
I am really disturbed by that as well. I couldn't care less that a client is white or not, it doesn't make me feel safer to know that someone is white, and it's become a red flag for me when it's mentioned in a very short intro by someone who doesn't want to screen. Some providers ask for ethnicity and I think in some cases it's because they are racist, and that's not everyone. In some cases, I suspect people ask for it to have a detail about the client's physical appearance since many clients refuse to provide photos.. However, I don't ask for ethnicity and I really don't like someone giving me almost no info except that they are white/caucasian.

I've actually had clients lie about their ethnicity and that really disturbed me, not because I wanted them to be white, but because it's a lie and I felt like they were trying to trick me into seeing them. It's really strange to me.
 
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Lunaseraphim

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Have you ever deeply missed someone that you meet as a client that no longer wants to see you again
Can answer yes or no without details if it’s too heartbreaking
Yes, I often miss clients who stopped booking me, but I don't take it personally.. I don't assume it's because they don't want to see me again. I often imagine they can't afford to see a SP at the moment, got a partner, or something similar. There was a client I got along with really well that I saw a couple times last winter. He took me on a dinner date and he would bring me flowers and chocolate. I really liked this person.. He didn't book me for a while and I assumed that he got a gf.. Then out of nowhere I got a message from him. He booked me for 2 hours, and it was a no call no show. I was pretty upset. He never wrote to me again after that.

Sometimes I'm sad because I had an amazing booking with someone I really connected with, and I don't see them again because they don't live in Montreal or even in Canada. I've felt a bit heartbroken a few times hehe
 

LC18

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it doesn't make me feel safer to know that someone is white, and it's become a red flag for me when it's mentioned in a very short intro by someone who doesn't want to screen.

That’s an interesting point. It could be the reason they mention their race yes, they want us to feel safer but then that would be racist of them to assume we wouldn’t feel safe with a client of another race

Also, not to you in particular but to everyone reading this thread.

Familiarize yourself with race, ethnicity and nationality. They don’t mean the same.

If someone asks for my nationality I will say Canadian, if they expect someone white that’s their problem.
 

Lunaseraphim

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That’s an interesting point. It could be the reason they mention their race yes, they want us to feel safer but then that would be racist of them to assume we wouldn’t feel safe with a client of another race

Also, not to you in particular but to everyone reading this thread.

Familiarize yourself with race, ethnicity and nationality. They don’t mean the same.

If someone asks for my nationality I will say Canadian, if they expect someone white that’s their problem.
I definitely see what you mean. I'm aware that nationality is really not the same as race/ethnicity but I struggle telling the difference between those 2 other terms. I'm sorry if I made a mistake.

I think when clients volunteer to tell me that they are white but refuse to provide much more info it feels suspicious to me, and I know there are a lot of providers who are racist and say "no gentlemen of x race" in their profile, but that doesn't mean everybody else feels that way.. I don't personally feel safer knowing someone's white. I haven't had better experiences with white clients than anybody else. I think for SOME clients it's a shortcut that's supposed to make us feel "safer" because they don't want to provide other info.
 

curly

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I'm curious. How often do "engine failure" (not able to get hard) happen to your clients? I'm not talking about not being to get it up after three rounds of steamy sex, I mean not at all during a session.

Is it a common thing, like several times a week, or a once a year incident? Does it happen to young and nervous clients, or to older clients with less hormonas? Do you take it personal,
 

LC18

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Is it a common thing, like several times a week, or a once a year incident? Does it happen to young and nervous clients, or to older clients with less hormonas? Do you take it personal,

Keep in mind that meeting someone for the first time can be stressful. Meeting someone for the first time and having sex with them? Super stressful.

I’m not keeping an excel spreadsheet but it does happen that people cannot get hard or struggle to cum. They feel bad but it’s normal, I don’t take it personal. It usually works out the second time they see me. When our bodies feel more familiar to each others.
 

Julia Sky

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Charming the escort is definitely part of the fun for me :)

I have this person on mute so didn't see his reply until I saw yours, but you're not alone, it's pretty common for clients to have your mindset :) Also, "charming" as an adjective means pleasant in general, polite, friendly and likeable. I do think it's a client's job to be all these things so idk what he was on about.
 

curly

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I’m not keeping an excel spreadsheet but it does happen that people cannot get hard or struggle to cum.

I understand. It's the frequency I'm curious about. And to be transparent, and show that I'm not despising anyone, I'll admit it did happen to me also. And, as you say, it was mostly first time sex with a new partner.
 

Lunaseraphim

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I'm curious. How often do "engine failure" (not able to get hard) happen to your clients? I'm not talking about not being to get it up after three rounds of steamy sex, I mean not at all during a session.

Is it a common thing, like several times a week, or a once a year incident? Does it happen to young and nervous clients, or to older clients with less hormonas? Do you take it personal,
It really depends honestly.. It's not super frequent but once in a while I get an older gentleman who tells me he doesn't do well with condoms. It's not that these gentlemen failed to get hard, but when it's the time to put the condom on, they aren't turned on anymore. It makes me wonder why they are booking a SP because obviously you need to be wearing one during sex. I don't take it personally when these things happen because I know it has nothing to do with me.

Sometimes like Lena said it takes more than one booking for the client to feel comfortable enough to ''perform'' (I hate using this word in that context but it's usually how the client sees it and it's unfortunate)
 

Cap'tain Fantastic

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It makes me wonder why they are booking a SP because obviously you need to be wearing one during sex
I can, sometimes, suffer from the condom syndrome. Imho, it is something that can be explained by the fact that for the first 15 maybe 20 years of my active sexual life, condoms were not something you would often encounter . It was those years, people my generation grew up with free sex, group sex and the Oh glorious "pill", no real worries about STIs, even in my teenage years all the girls seemed to be on the pill.

It took us some serious effort to adapt to the AIDS/HIV era, and sometimes our brains would still refuse cooperate. I, personally, am able to get around it, but it takes some mental gymnastics!

That being said, don’t get me wrong here, I never ever tried to obtain bbfs and never will, don’t get me started!
 
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Lunaseraphim

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I can, sometimes, suffer from the condom syndrome. Imho, it is something that can be explained by the fact that for the first 15 maybe 20 years of my active sexual life, condoms were not something you would often encounter . It was those years, people my generation grew up with free sex, group sex and the Oh glorious "pill", no real worries about STIs, even in my teenage years all the girls seemed to be on the pill.

It took us some serious effort to adapt to the AIDS/HIV era, and sometimes our brains would still refuse cooperate. I, personally, am able to get around it, but it takes some mental gymnastics!

That being said, don’t get me wrong here, I never ever tried to obtain bbfs and never will, don’t get me started!
I think that's normal honestly! Nobody enjoys using condoms even when it comes to bjs.. When I used to work at spas I only offered cbj for safety concerns (that's not the case anymore, don't worry guys!) and I absolutely hated it, it made me gag. I think it's also normal to not use condoms during intercourse in a monogamous relationship.. However, I think like you said it's possible to adapt to condom use during sex. :) It takes practice and I think a lot of it is psychological. It's a requirement when seeing SP's to learn how to enjoy sex with a condom.
 
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