Ask us anything part 3

[DouMan]

Clients - do you become friends with other clients and hang out outside of here? If so, do you start discussing various providers in private messages with other men? I'm asking this question because often a client knew something about me that he wasn't supposed to know. If so, what is the purpose of this? What if it endangers the companion?

This situation is indeed disturbing but the venue is not always between Johns. I have heard much more gossip from providers concerning their competition than from colleagues.

Our conversations are more considering what we see noted, that is physical and services. That is why a very important lesson in this domain is NEVER discuss anything with anyone that you would not appreciate reading online. Unfortunately some are very voluble and too trusting concerning their personal life.

Too get a better grasp on certain people just listen how they talk about others, that will tell you how they will talk about you when you are not there. This rarely proves wrong.

 

[Flyingby]

Clients - do you become friends with other clients and hang out outside of here? If so, do you start discussing various providers in private messages with other men? I'm asking this question because often a client knew something about me that he wasn't supposed to know. If so, what is the purpose of this? What if it endangers the companion?

Yes we do
Yes we share
But the clients who I became friends with are similar to me. Meaning it should not endanger the provider.
I don’t share personal details in PM if I have not met the merbite.

 

[LC18]

[Clients]
My friend has almost convinced me to join her as a stripper but I had some questions for clients.

How often do you go?
Do you buy private dances?
Have you ever tried to see a stripper outside of the club?
If so, would you pay for her services or try to haggle it?

 

[Lunaseraphim]

This situation is indeed disturbing but the venue is not always between Johns. I have heard much more gossip from providers concerning their competition than from colleagues.

Our conversations are more considering what we see noted, that is physical and services. That is why a very important lesson in this domain is NEVER discuss anything with anyone that you would not appreciate reading online. Unfortunately some are very voluble and too trusting concerning their personal life.

Too get a better grasp on certain people just listen how they talk about others, that will tell you how they will talk about you when you are not there. This rarely proves wrong.

A question I have for you is how do you know that what is being said in private messages is true? A client could just be making it up. Same thing with providers. What if it's just sabotage and not gossip? A lot of people lie in this industry for some reason. I've had a person in the industry accuse me of poisoning her years ago. (hint it wasn't true)

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I personally have not become friends with or met up with another client in this industry. It's not really on my TDL. I have on occasion, however, discussed providers in private messages on MERB and its sister sites. These typically-very-brief discussions are very surface-level and about, like @DouMan said, matters that may help inform a booking decision (physique and services). The bulk of incoming messages are from users who saw a review I wrote and are reaching out because they have some follow up questions they want answers on before making a booking (I only respond to those whose vibes I don't find objectionable). I've never gotten a question asking about a provider's personal life or their sensitive personal information, and if I ever were to, I just wouldn't respond.

Echoing what @DouMan said, most of what I hear about an SP's life secondhand was volunteered to me, without my solicitation, by a friend, acquaintance, competition, or outright enemy of the SP. if a client knew something about you that he shouldn't have, I'd venture to say that he also could've heard it from another SP you either know directly or with whom you share a common client or industry acquaintance. I suppose this is why a number of SPs I see deliberately keep their social circle in the industry very tight.

Edit: I'm not discounting the possibility that the client could've heard it from some client ol' boys club/network/grapevine. I'm aware that they exist and have discussed it to some length elsewhere on the board.

Personally, I've had a lot of clients try to fish information about other providers from me, but I decided to keep it quiet. I don't really see the point in engaging in this gossip personally. What kind of questions do you get asked when you write a review? Do you feel like it's wise to answer these questions? I feel like in many cases, it could endanger the person's safety or mess with their business.

 

[DouMan]

A question I have for you is how do you know that what is being said in private messages is true? A client could just be making it up. Same thing with providers. What if it's just sabotage and not gossip? A lot of people lie in this industry for some reason. I've had a person in the industry accuse me of poisoning her years ago. (hint it wasn't true)

The line between gossip and sabotage here is extremely thin.

In such a case I would ask myself what is in it for the person? What do they have to gain or lose by sharing this information?

Besides discussing the physical and services already mentioned between collegues I have received way more negative or sabotaging remarks from other providers than anything else. In such cases I generally diregard their comments not having both sides of the story.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

The line between gossip and sabotage here is extremely thin.

In such a case I would ask myself what is in it for the person? What do they have to gain or lose by sharing this information?

Besides discussing the physical and services already mentioned between collegues I have received way more negative or sabotaging remarks from other providers than anything else. In such cases I generally diregard their comments not having both sides of the story.

That's interesting, and yes it's clearly sabotage. When I first started and information about me was shared, I didn't have any friends who were well known providers, so it was clients who talked about me. As I've mentioned in other threads, during the first 2 months that I worked, I planted some real and some false info to see if it would come back to me, and it did.

I'm realizing that maybe certain SPs have tried to pretend being friendly with me as a way to gather intel, and that sucks. I know I feel isolated in this business and may have shared too much with one or two people online.

One thing that I really wonder about is how the subject even comes up in the first place. When I'm with clients, I don't discuss other companions, that just doesn't come up. A few clients have talked about certain companions but I cut the conversation short by saying I didn't want to discuss the person. The only situation I can imagine this happening through is on this forum, in private messages, from other SP's who advertise here, or talking about a person who was given as a reference, or who gave the SP's name as a reference.

It's good that you disregard those comments because bringing something up about a colleague is highly unethical and shows a bad intention. A lot of providers don't actually know each other in person, and the rivalry and jealousy is all in people's heads. Sometimes I am a little envious of certain colleagues but I am not jealous and I would never do anything to compromise their safety or privacy. The existence of someone who is prettier than me or charges a different rate than me doesn't take business away from me. But I know a lot of companions don't see things that way. It's unfortunate, because I think we should be solidary instead of creating this climate of fear and envy..

In any case if I were you I'd tell the provider that someone is bad mouthing them, might save them a lot of trouble.

 

[sin]

My friend has almost convinced me to join her as a stripper but I had some questions for clients.

How often do you go?
Do you buy private dances?
Have you ever tried to see a stripper outside of the club?
If so, would you pay for her services or try to haggle it?

I used to go once or twice per year. On two occasions, a stripper offered to come to my hotel (free of charge).

 

[sin]

I used to go once or twice per year. On two occasions, a stripper offered to come to my hotel (free of charge).

Respect, being nice are often rewarded.

 

[LC18]

Respect, being nice are often rewarded.

I guess but that’s still surprising considering that they’re stripping to make money

 

[sin]

I guess but that’s still surprising considering that they’re stripping to make money

Both times were slow nights, I had dances with them at the club and they came after their shifts.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

@Lunaseraphim

Yes people talk, gossip and exchange truth and false information about whoever. It’s not specific to the escort world. In any workplace you will bump into that kind of shit, it’s human nature. As I keep saying, I don’t care what people say or think about me, because it’s none of my business.

Also, I do meet with 3 other merb members, we talk about a lot of different topics and that includes escorts and the escorting world. Talking about experiences, anecdotes and other stories is part of our entertainment nights. So? As far as I know we aren’t hurting anyone. Same goes when the girls are on their girls night out.

 

[CuriousGent]

Both times were slow nights, I had dances with them at the club and they came after their shifts.

If you don't mind me asking, how many dances did you have? Before leaving your hotel room they never hinted at expecting some compensation?

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

[Clients]
My friend has almost convinced me to join her as a stripper but I had some questions for clients.

How often do you go?
Do you buy private dances?
Have you ever tried to see a stripper outside of the club?
If so, would you pay for her services or try to haggle it?

I don’t go anymore, but I used to in my younger years, too often!

Getting take out freebies was not uncommon at all, I, personally, never had to pay for and never been asked money from a girl to get the night going.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

@Lunaseraphim

Yes people talk, gossip and exchange truth and false information about whoever. It’s not specific to the escort world. In any workplace you will bump into that kind of shit, it’s human nature. As I keep saying, I don’t care what people say or think about me, because it’s none of my business.

Also, I do meet with 3 other merb members, we talk about a lot of different topics and that includes escorts and the escorting world. Talking about experiences, anecdotes and other stories is part of our entertainment nights. So? As far as I know we aren’t hurting anyone. Same goes when the girls are on their girls night out.

I wasn't implying that it's bad for people here to become friends and talk about these topics at all.

 

[LC18]

I guess if it’s slow, might as well sit with someone interesting and chat. But to leave with them for free? Idk not really something I understand.

 

[CuriousGent]

[Clients]
My friend has almost convinced me to join her as a stripper but I had some questions for clients.

How often do you go?
Do you buy private dances?
Have you ever tried to see a stripper outside of the club?
If so, would you pay for her services or try to haggle it?

I used to back in college, stoped when I got in a relationship. I did get private dances, back then would mostly go to Solid Gold and some others

I tried a couple of times with a lady I would get dances that would encourage me to finger her when she did private dances but she said her boyfriend was always sitting at the bar when she worked, she would always leave with him at the end of her shift, never brought it up again.

Back then being a student probably would of haggled

 

[CuriousGent]

That's interesting, and yes it's clearly sabotage. When I first started and information about me was shared, I didn't have any friends who were well known providers, so it was clients who talked about me. As I've mentioned in other threads, during the first 2 months that I worked, I planted some real and some false info to see if it would come back to me, and it did.

I'm realizing that maybe certain SPs have tried to pretend being friendly with me as a way to gather intel, and that sucks. I know I feel isolated in this business and may have shared too much with one or two people online.

One thing that I really wonder about is how the subject even comes up in the first place. When I'm with clients, I don't discuss other companions, that just doesn't come up. A few clients have talked about certain companions but I cut the conversation short by saying I didn't want to discuss the person. The only situation I can imagine this happening through is on this forum, in private messages, from other SP's who advertise here, or talking about a person who was given as a reference, or who gave the SP's name as a reference.

It's good that you disregard those comments because bringing something up about a colleague is highly unethical and shows a bad intention. A lot of providers don't actually know each other in person, and the rivalry and jealousy is all in people's heads. Sometimes I am a little envious of certain colleagues but I am not jealous and I would never do anything to compromise their safety or privacy. The existence of someone who is prettier than me or charges a different rate than me doesn't take business away from me. But I know a lot of companions don't see things that way. It's unfortunate, because I think we should be solidary instead of creating this climate of fear and envy..

In any case if I were you I'd tell the provider that someone is bad mouthing them, might save them a lot of trouble.

Given the competitive nature of the business, I never really understood references from sps, I mean if you don't want to lose a client you give a bad reference hoping he comes back since he couldn't book the other provider, and if an sp doesn't like a colleague she could recommend a client she knows to be a jackass

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Given the competitive nature of the business, I never really understood references from sps, I mean if you don't want to lose a client you give a bad reference hoping he comes back since he couldn't book the other provider, and if an sp doesn't like a colleague she could recommend a client she knows to be a jackass

I don't mind at all if someone gives my name as a reference as long as it's truthful. I've found it helpful when I was given other members of Indy Companion as references, too, because there's a higher level of trust. However, you're right, the referral system is flawed. I would personally never recommend a client who's a jackass even to someone I don't particularly like.. but I know other people are different. There are one or two providers I won't take as references anymore because I've had too many bad experiences interacting with them. It's easy to tell when somebody doesn't want to be a reference and doesn't want to help you through their tone.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

To the disappointment of many users here I'm sure, my reviews are purposefully vague in certain ways. For example, I don't really do "play-by-plays" and I'm selective about which acronyms I share. Understandably, that invites follow up questions. The questions I receive are no different from the ones you'd see on any review thread. The user is reaching out to me privately for any number of reasons (e.g., they are shy to ask out in the open, they want answers more tailored to their specific needs/interests, or they're sensitive to the reputational effect of the SP if the answer to their question is negative and posted on their public review thread). Sometimes they are on the fence about seeing a provider or just need one more nudge to reach out. (Sometimes it's me that's reaching out). Like I said, I don't answer everyone or every question and I would never respond to a question about an SP's personal life (have yet to receive one). If an SP has a NRP and has made it known that they don't wish to be discussed on a message board, I honor that.
Here's a sample of the kinds of questions that come in: "does she do DFK?", "is she into kinky stuff?", or "how did you find her face/rear/breasts/etc?".
If I choose to respond, I caveat everything I say heavily such that the questioner understands that 1) YMMV applies and 2) my answer is based on my own subjective experiences and opinions (so as not to plant false expectations).
I should also note that I come away from every encounter with an SP caring about them and their well-being to some degree, including those with whom I didn't have a good experience (a super rare occurrence, fortunately for me). I would never knowingly share anything that I believed could endanger them. Tell me why you think answering such questions could endanger an SP's safety?

As for messing with an SP's business, I can see the case for that. However, 1) I don't believe I have the influence to single-handedly hurt an SP's business by answering questions from random MERB users like "does she DFK?" and 2) I do due diligence on every SP I see and rarely ever come away disappointed from a session (which is why my reviews are rarely negative), so my answers are typically favorable to the SP. I can't know for sure, but to the extent my answers are nudging clients on the fence about a provider to book her, I suppose I would be helping an SP's business, no? If in a hypothetical response I share that I received no anal (for the record, I'm not into anal) and CBJ because the SP has a CBJ-policy and that's enough to turn a prospective client away, I suppose I cost the SP's business, but is that the kind of client the SP wants business from? If I'm hurting an SP's business, which I don't believe to be the case, I don't think I'm doing so anymore than their review thread is.

Thank you for this answer, this is clarifying a lot of things for me!