Cheating

[JerryRogers]

Hi everyone,

So there is something I don’t understand. If you have a wife or gf, and are seeing SPs regularly, it is possible that at some point you might catch something. Your wife would know that you have been cheating and essentially your life is TOTALLY fucked! Is there something I’m missing?

Dying to see someone - been a while - but I’m worried about this.

Cheers,
Jerry

 

[2fast2slow]

in that case just do everything covered. you can still kiss and maybe a little daty

 

[sene5hos]

Hi everyone,

So there is something I don’t understand. If you have a wife or gf, and are seeing SPs regularly, it is possible that at some point you might catch something. Your wife would know that you have been cheating and essentially your life is TOTALLY fucked! Is there something I’m missing?

Dying to see someone - been a while - but I’m worried about this.

Cheers,
Jerry

Yes Jerry it might be a little stressful, but tell yourself that life goes by relatively quickly.

If you watch the train go by each time, one day it won't pass.

Personally, I have been meeting since ten years and have had absolutely nothing.

As for your partner, you can meet someone else, and you don't have to tell them everything.

I understand that there is always a risk, the best advice I can give you is to meet independents on this site, because they get tested every 3 months, even some every month.

 

[IamNY]

When the risk is worth the reward you’ll be ready.

 

[Fradi]

I believe cheating only applies if you feel love towards the girl. Like, if you do things as a lover would do, you know what I'm talking about... LOVE. When you're in LOVE, when your wife/GF becomes less important in your life.

But if you don,t feel any attraction whatsoever and only uses the masseuse as a professional service, same as any regular providers, dentist, physio, doc etc. then you're not cheating.
Sometimes you feel the physical need to release yourself, and once done, you come home loving your wife/GF as much, on even more, you should be OK with it.

Perhaps you can use this explanation to your wife or significant other if she catches you, I would like to know how effective it will be lol.
Cheating is cheating period, trying to convince yourself otherwise is pure BS but if it works for you it is just another fantasy and this one you are not paying for.
Right now worrying about catching something and passing it on has been made much worse, before you only had to worry about STD which is always a risk now you also have Covid in the mix.

Personally I didn’t cheat, but I was totally in love with the woman of my dreams, but I am sure many have all kinds of valid reasons or live in an open relationship or actually dont think it is such a big deal. We are all different.

 

[cloudsurf]

I believe cheating only applies if you feel love towards the girl. Like, if you do things as a lover would do, you know what I'm talking about... LOVE. When you're in LOVE, when your wife/GF becomes less important in your life.

That`s bullshit. When you fuck someone other than your partner ....you are cheating. No matter what type of psychological cover you wanna put on it.
When I was married i didn`t see escorts but I had affairs with temporary girlfriends..... I was cheating no matter if I loved them or not.

 

[sene5hos]

For having happened to me, but vice versa. It was my ex who told me that she had fucked during a convention. She told me she wanted to stay with me, but for me it was never the same again. And finally we got divorced.

I spoke about it with a friend who was cheating on his wife, and I strongly advised him to never tell his wife about it.

Whether it's one or the other of the partners who cheat, often it's that there is already sand in the gear.

Everyone's reaction is different, it will be necessary to see for each case.

 

[Francoquart]

The cheating concept is at fault here. Are we supposed to be bound by the fake boundaries that society has created for control purposes, and cheat on our true nature? Monagamy is the "cheat". We need to accept that neither men or women were destined to be monogamous. Sex and love needs to be treated separatly. So NO cheating is not cheating.. Sex is sex, it is about lust. Cheating concerns love, respect, unselfish deeds... You can love someone and lust another. This monogany concept is in my opinion a lame excuse for safety..

 

[Redskin]

Got an std by receiving unprotected oral. The worst part was telling my girlfriend(now my ex); we both had to take the medication.

I wouldn't practice unprotected sex with an escort in the future. I know its really tempting but no matter what other people might say the risk is high.
I went into a private place that screens a lot of sex professional, I believe them when they tell me the risk is high as they see them regularly. Its not just trowed facts.

But still each their own tolerance to risk.

As for the ethical aspect...
Modern society would definitely consider that cheating. But society cannot decide on a contract between two people.
It only regards you and that person, and that other person is the only one that should decide if its OK with her or not. But if you want to be ethical you need to ask her beforehand.

I hear you @Stan Smith when you say its only physical and I kind of agree. But still a physical interest in someone hold some feelings that might hurt your lover.
I know my ex didn't seem to mind me seeing a professional for a quick release, but she was questioning if I was finding her attractive enough.
Also would you mind having your girlfriend/wife go see male escort? Don't know how I would feel about that...for sure I would ideally want to know as I wouldn't trust how safe it would be.

Now personally, I'm currently single so it's not an issue. Still prefer to date multiple girls outside of the escort industry. Only service I get is massage.
Now whenever I get in a relationship is where I'm not sure, because I know the urge will become real. I don't think I would be able to ask her (risk to lose her) rather than to chose to cheat on her.

 

[Stan Smith]

Perhaps you can use this explanation to your wife or significant other if she catches you, I would like to know how effective it will be.

Obviously you're missing the point. Has nothing to do with my GF/wife, but only with how I feel about myself.
But it's OK, I understand some people do not think farther than their nose.

 

[mr_scorpio]

It is cheating as long as your significant other would not approve of this type of activity. Convincing yourself otherwise is not being truthful.

 

[chowzilla]

Hi everyone,

So there is something I don’t understand. If you have a wife or gf, and are seeing SPs regularly, it is possible that at some point you might catch something. Your wife would know that you have been cheating and essentially your life is TOTALLY fucked! Is there something I’m missing?

Dying to see someone - been a while - but I’m worried about this.

Cheers,
Jerry

YUUUUP! I've heard stories of girls who caught something and transmitted it orally, so the johns had it on their face and crotch. Wives found out, and life crumbles to oblivion. I've heard of only 1 story, where the wife believed her husband caught an infection some other way.

All in all, it still comes down to the odds of catching something and eventually reaching to you. Most of the time its mal-practice.

 

[sene5hos]

It is cheating as long as your significant other would not approve of this type of activity. Convincing yourself otherwise is not being truthful.

Cheating on your partner = it's cheating.

Cheating on your partner and telling her = it's not cheating, it's frankness, but you risk losing her.

If the trust is no longer there, it will be very difficult to pick up the broken vase.

First very important advice = wearing a condom.

 

[Stan Smith]

It is cheating as long as your significant other would not approve of this type of activity. Convincing yourself otherwise is not being truthful.

There is no "cookie cutter" response to this. All depends on how you feel about yourself. Some guys are not in a relationship and feel bad about themself doing the hobby. I have a couple's life, and a personal life. Love my partner dearly, and still enjoy her company and our life as a family after 30 years.

 

[GreyPilgrim]

We all rationalize our hobbying differently. Some feel guilty. Some feel justified. Some never even stop for a second to consider the risks involved, let alone the morality of it all.

Arguing about semantics, the importance of the risks involved or the individual reasoning behind our actions... that’s all mostly pointless: we all have our reasons and why we do it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the fact that we choose to do it.

In the end, it all comes down to that pearl of wisdom from thegreatwalooo: « When the reward is worth the risk, you’ll be ready. »

 

[Batista Mason]

Well, an director who worked for Ubisoft just lost his job for having an affair.

Report: Ubisoft fired Assassin’s Creed Valhalla director

Ashraf Ismail, who stepped down in June, was accused of having an extramarital affair with a fan

www.polygon.com

 

[eric53sig]

Cheating is mostly cultural.

In the overall History of humankind, every society saw it differently. Some where surprisingly open about it. Kings (and Queens) usualy had there "favorites" and concubines.
And we must consider the religious factor to it as well.
Culture + Religion = Morality

A friend of mine once told me that anyone who had never cheated simply never had the chance.

 

[IamNY]

Cheating on your partner = it's cheating.

Cheating on your partner and telling her = it's not cheating, it's frankness, but you risk losing her.

Cheating on your partner and telling her is not cheating? I'm sorry, but I don't see it that way. If you murder someone is it not murder even if you admit to the crime?

 

[oobe]

Cheating on your partner and telling her is not cheating? I'm sorry, but I don't see it that way. If you murder someone is it not murder even if you admit to the crime?

Well, the cheating is in the hiding and the breach of the (explicit or implicit) agreement, so if you tell her:
- either she says ok and it's officially not cheating, the agreement between you has been updated to allow it, congratulations you won the lottery!
- or she says fuck off and it was cheating but it doesn't matter because she dumped you
Now if she says don't do it but doesn't leave and you continue, then it is cheating and that relationship is gonna go worse and worse.

 

[IamNY]

Well, the cheating is in the hiding and the breach of the (explicit or implicit) agreement, so if you tell her:
- either she says ok and it's officially not cheating, the agreement between you has been updated to allow it, congratulations you won the lottery!
- or she says fuck off and it was cheating but it doesn't matter because she dumped you
Now if she says don't do it but doesn't leave and you continue, then it is cheating and that relationship is gonna go worse and worse.

Uhm, I’m sorry, what? I feel as confused as Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School: