Cheating

[Fradi]

Obviously you're missing the point. Has nothing to do with my GF/wife, but only with how I feel about myself.
But it's OK, I understand some people do not think farther than their nose.

I agree with you.
Then again some don’t think farther than their dick.

 

[No_Church_InThe_Wild]

A friend of mine once told me that anyone who had never cheated simply never had the chance.

I wonder how many out there that view cheating as morally wrong would have passed the test in this day and age if given the chance ...

I don’t judge but I’m personally against it without wanting to have a high horse on this matter
Everyone has their reasons I’m sure ... lots of unhappy relationships , lots of broken/unhappy marriages out there , narcissistic and selfish partners etc . Everyone rationalizes cheating differently and some even take immense pride when recounting about their extramarital affairs to their friends , they are convinced that it’s just lust/sex and not a big deal, so it depends who you ask ... But try explaining that to the women and girlfriends that love their husbands/boyfriends dearly ... for them that is the ultimate betrayal ...of course the cheater does not intend to hurt but how do you excuse the emotional and spiritual damage one can inflict not to mention the physical if they would be getting exposed to numerous std’s and the C virus from the ones they trust and love the most without their knowledge

But unfortunately we humans always had the ability to rationalize our weaknesses and shortcomings when it suited our selfish needs
I’ll quote John Wooden who said that the true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching...

 

[Stan Smith]

I agree with you.
Then again some don’t think farther than their dick.

I agree.

In English we say “ A tighten dick has no conscience“

une pissette bandée n’a pas de conscience

 

[The Nature Boy]

My buddy went to go watch Avengers end games with his wife. I couldn’t even stand the sound of his voice when he called me the next day

 

[Fradi]

I think it is not just cheating that is the problem.
Lasting relationships are usually built on two things love and trust.
When one cheats on the other that trust is forever broken and is almost impossible to repair.
Not long after the love begins to break down also.
In the back of your mind will always be when will it happen again and any ordinary delay in coming home or phone call change in behaviour will always create doubt.

 

[Flyingby]

The secret to cheating: either treat it as a business transaction and do not give your real name
Or. Make sure the other person has as much or more to lose than you
So if you are married, she needs to be as well
If you are married with kids. Same with her
And last secret. Shut your mouth. Tell no one. Don’t tell your best friend over beers one night. Practice inner content. No need to show off
Oh and lastly. If you are cheating...she probably is too

 

[JerryRogers]

Well guys thanks for the responses. I think I will just stick to CBJ and no FS, seems like the safest bet.

 

[sene5hos]

Well guys thanks for the responses. I think I will just stick to CBJ and no FS, seems like the safest bet.

Jerry if you would like to do an FS you could penetrate her from the back. Since your faces are not close to each other.

That's what I've been doing for two months, doing DOGGY is great fun too.

 

[chowzilla]

- either she says ok and it's officially not cheating, the agreement between you has been updated to allow it, congratulations you won the lottery!

'
Lottery yes, if she agrees to allow it and not exercise her own right to see other people. Otherwise its just an open relationship

I understand what others are saying in terms of whether it is cheating or not because it is more of a male biological need than an emotional investment. However at the end of the day... your partner is going to see it as a betrayal of trust. Kissing can be cheating, flirting can be cheating, sexting can be cheating, which in a way I kind of agree with because I wouldn't want my girl to do that to me. That is in terms of fairness on both parties. Other than that, I think men have a more justifiable reason to go out and mingle, doesn't mean I think we should be allowed. (well in an ideal world, yes, but im not the ruler of the world).

Like Iron Man said, if I was the ruler, I would reinstate Prima Nocta:

Everyone is in different circumstances, and I have seen men in situations, where hobbying does save them.

But if you ask me, do I want my girl to see other men? I would say no. Would I sacrifice my right to see other women so that she doesn't see other men, Yes. This is where I think the debate falls off.

no judgement on my part. Society on fairness has become something else.

 

[sene5hos]

Many men are hiding behind long years of history.

Luckily young men these days are really starting to change.

But a small number hide behind the words "sweet seductions", it's stronger than them, but they will not cross the barrier.

When it's no, it's no.

 

[Anwar]

The original post was about mongering without getting caught by an affliction, not whether it constitutes cheating or not

But this is an interesting question. Marriage or a committed relationship is a contract and the terms of commitment has to be agreed upon by both parties. If there's an implied agreement that none of the parties in the relationship shall have casual sex with other people (which is the default, unless stated otherwise), then it's cheating plain and simple. Is it moral? That is a moot point in my opinion. I like to see an escort or go to an MP once in a while, but my partner (who is the only woman I've ever been with and lost my virginity to) is the only person I love spending my "me time" with. My partner is the only woman I want to have kids and grow old with. I am clearly betraying my partner's trust that I will be sexually exclusive with her, but sexual exclusivity is not the only thing that sustains a relationship. You can have amazing sex in a relationship, but not enough investment to rip your heart out for your partner. The reverse could also be true - you could give it all for your partner but remain unfulfilled in bed. My partner is right to be aggrieved by my sexual promiscuity, but as far as my conscience is concerned, I know that she is the only woman with whom I love to lie in bed and pour my heart out. With escorts, I leave as soon as I am done. I pay for the hour, I leave as soon as the time's up. For the same reason, I prefer to pay for sex than go for casual hookups and risk leaving any string attached.

Cheating is the consequence of forcing sexual promiscuity into the socially contrived box that we call monogamy. In my version of an ideal world, men and women will have casual sex with anyone they want while being emotionally invested in their star-crossed lover. Casual sex, like pay-for-play, is an experience, not unlike smoking pot. A relationship is so much more than an experience.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

A friend of mine once told me that anyone who had never cheated simply never had the chance.

Never cheated while in a relationship and had opportunities. Figured I would not want my partner to fuck around so why would I. If I was planningbto cheat I would have broken off the relationship.
Just old fashioned I guess.

 

[The Nature Boy]

Did you notice more interested parties while you were attached Saul?

 

[cloudsurf]

Holdmedown , what you are saying is pure logic, but someone who is cheating is not thinking logically.
They don`t believe that they will be caught or of any of the consequences. They believe that their partner loves them so much that they`ll forgive.
My friend loved his wife yet he cheated anyway . He was shocked when she caught him and divorced him. He`s been on Lithium ever since.
Does a robber think of jail when he commits a crime?.....no he thinks that he is invincible and will never be caught

 

[sene5hos]

Holdmedown , what you are saying is pure logic, but someone who is cheating is not thinking logically.
They don`t believe that they will be caught or of any of the consequences. They believe that their partner loves them so much that they`ll forgive.
My friend loved his wife yet he cheated anyway . He was shocked when she caught him and divorced him. He`s been on Lithium ever since.
Does a robber think of jail when he commits a crime?.....no he thinks that he is invincible and will never be caught

I agree with you so much.

 

[Stan Smith]

my experience is that it will always catch up to you.

so simply ask yourself this, is it worth the risk and and are you willing to risk losing your partner.

You talk like someone who got caught and lost it all. If so, i'm very sorry and don't want to rub it in.

But you know what ? You made me realize how bad I felt about myself, (even if I said the opposite earlier) and also how lucky I am to have a loving wife and family.
Je me considère chanceux depuis 2016 alors que j’ai commencé ce hobby. C’était l’époque où ma femme prenait soin de sa sœur cancéreuse et ne portait aucune attention à moi.

4 années ont passées et ce post me fait réaliser qu’il est temps pour moi de quitter.

Thank you for kicking my ass and help me realize how lucky I am with my 2 young adults children and my wife/partner of 33 years.

Rein n’est arrivé et ça éveillé aucun soupçon, I quit while i’m ahead.

 

[sene5hos]

Thank you for this beautiful testimony, Stan

If you are very much at home, why look elsewhere.

You have a beautiful family and wanting to keep, it's wonderful.

Good luck with all that is to come.

 

[Stan Smith]

Thank you sene5hos I appreciate it

 

[sene5hos]

Lots of situations can happen.

When I was living with my partner, to keep my conscience clear, I said to myself "When we pay, it's for a service, so no link, just pure pleasure. But when we see another woman, without paying, there, it's is cheating.

Fucking for fucking without feeling is less serious than having sex with your whole body.

I wanted to find a good argument for giving permission.

I am certainly not the only one.

 

[Fradi]

Lots of situations can happen.

When I was living with my partner, to keep my conscience clear, I said to myself "When we pay, it's for a service, so no link, just pure pleasure. But when we see another woman, without paying, there, it's is cheating.

Fucking for fucking without feeling is less serious than having sex with your whole body.

I wanted to find a good argument for giving permission.

I am certainly not the only one.

These are just some of the BS excuses we try to use to make us feel better.
Cheating is cheating, I bet none of us would like to hear these same excuses from a partner that we are in love with.

We are all different, if these type of excuses work for you or you are wired differently that is fine and there are many different reasons some valid others not so much that someone would use to cheat on their partner.
I could never bring myself to cheat while I was married, simple reason I was totally in love and didn’t need some one else and I know how I would have felt if she would cheat on me.