Curiousity: Men of The Lounge, Why are you Here?

[stephanie.brown~]

Hi boys x

I advertise on this board, and occasionally check out the lounge to see if there's anything I'd like to weigh in on, but infrequently see anything, and perhaps more important get this vibe that you want to talk with each other, but aren't really interested in shooting the shit with us. Is that accurate? Ladies, do any of you have perspective on this? No hard feelings either way, just wondering~

 

[SilverDust]

Hi, there used to be a chat option a few years ago, who knows what happened to that?

 

[Halloween Mike]

Sorry Stephanie but i don't understand what you mean. What exactly does "get this vibe that you want to talk with each other, but aren't really interested in shooting the shit with us" mean?

This is tons of thread made by SPs or that SPs participate in and guys answer to them...

Personally i always been a forum guy since my teen years when it became super popular in early 2000s. Im often on merb to read reviews, see ads (often just as curiosity and staying up to date) so naturally i come here in the lounge and participate in the subject interesting me.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Hi, there used to be a chat option a few years ago, who knows what happened to that?

There was indeed a chat room which was on certain nights full of SPs and clients and Mods too (occasionally). I participated somewhat regularly. I don't know why it was discontinued, you would have to ask Board Administration. But nothing important was ever discussed there, and the more important chats occurred privately by means of a private message within the chats. I had whole chats privately, sometimes 3 or 4 at once. The only thing that I did not like in that chatroom is that I would always be targeted for private chats by 2 or 3 members and then I would be present but sort of absent for the larger chat taking place among say 15 or more people.

Based on this the MERB superchat went on from around 2006 to 2014 which is what I seemed to recall:

https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?16068-Merb-Superchat&highlight=chat+function

On another note, Adagio has a live chat which I have used quite a few times and it's a very good client service. Either Pat or the receptionist always answers my questions.

 

[EagerBeaver]

I advertise on this board, and occasionally check out the lounge to see if there's anything I'd like to weigh in on, but infrequently see anything, and perhaps more important get this vibe that you want to talk with each other, but aren't really interested in shooting the shit with us. Is that accurate? Ladies, do any of you have perspective on this? No hard feelings either way, just wondering~

I don't get the same vibe, but because most of the members/clients on the board are males, there are many topics that may be more interesting to males than to you, like the hockey and baseball threads, the hotel threads, and other threads discussing things of general interest to men and male clients and not really related specifically to why we all are here. I have seen some condom threads recently and that would be of interest to me but I imagine you have never worn one and don't know or care too much about how they feel, although you probably would care about breakage factor.

I have seen some threads in which male posters have asked for an SP's take or response, and unless Maria Divina happens to see the question, it's usually crickets from the girls because they do not read the interior of the thread. In other words, like you, I don't think most of the women or SPs read or care about most of the lounge threads.

Threads are sometimes badly named and go off topic. Halloween Mike started a thread on Transgender advertising and what disclosures were appropriate and it became a referendum on gender identity and what distinguishes a man from a woman besides the obvious. That thread took on a life of its own especially after a few transgender persons started posting in it. In the end it was just an exchange of opinions on the subject.

 

[curious2012]

Three main reasons for me....curiousity, curiousity, curiousity! :smile:...hope it doesn't kill the cat!!!

And I am absolutely interested in everyone's perspectives.....especially the women!

 

[westwoody]

Most ladies are probably cautious about saying anything that could alienate customers.
The Pacific board, perb, has lots of women in their lounge.
They can give the other side of the story, and add a lot to the lounge.
Some of them are very well spoken and interesting, and that attracts me more than their ads.

 

[Valdo]

1) By the way, Stephanie, the link to your personal website in your profile does not work.


2) Personally I am always curious about the opinion of the ladies. But as EagerBeaver says, these are rare.

Yesterday, for example, I started a French-language thread (my English is too bad to express myself seriously in this language) about the writer and escort Nelly Arcan who committed suicide. As a movie about her comes out on the big screens Friday of this week.

Here is the thread link:
https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?151875-Escorte-et-%E9crivaine-l-histoire-de-la-qu%E9b%E9coise-Nelly-Arcan-au-cin%E9ma

And I specifically solicited the opinion of the courtesans on Nelly ( I wrote: J'ai hâte de voir ce film et de lire les commentaires, en particulier ceux des « Ladies of the Night »!) ... but none of the women on this board has answered until now. Yet I am convinced that the majority of escorts on this forum speak French.

Then it is certainly false that I am in a vibe of only talking with the males.

3) I fully agree with Westwoody.

 

[Julia Sky]

I have the impression that it's the girls who don't really participate. Not the guys that leave us out hahaha. If you look at my number of posts vs my date of subscription to merb you can see it's totally possible to be active as a girl, and I never felt rejected by the gents But I do wish more ladies were active in the lounge

 

[Valdo]

I have the impression that it's the girls who don't really participate.

Yes I agree.

Maybe they're like me? Maybe they find it difficult to express themselves in English? It seems to me that this could be one factor (one among several) explaining the low participation rate of girls here while it is higher on PERB.

But this does not explain why they do not participate in threads in French ...

 

[lgna69xxx]

I could never leave you out, not after seeing you in those stripper boots at the last party :eyebrows:

I have the impression that it's the girls who don't really participate. Not the guys that leave us out hahaha.

 

[Julia Sky]

I could never leave you out, not after seeing you in those stripper boots at the last party :eyebrows:

You're too sweet. I can't wait for the next party, I'm still thinking of my outfit but my boots will ROCK that night. They totally fit with the event . I looked at them closely a few days ago and noticed they're missing a few sparkles here and there.. I hope I still have the spare ones.

Anyways ! Valdo, I also suspect that the rules of different boards could be a factor. I don't use many boards but the rules do vary from a board to another (as well as the mods perception and how they manage the board) and sometimes it's just difficult for the girls to post anything without it being considered advertising in a way or another.

Or maybe there is just the same % of guys and girls participating ? Like if 80% members are men, and 80% posts are from men, then it makes sense. It's like saying girls barely even drive in a (fictional) city where 75% of the citizen are men, so like obviously most drivers will be a man but in the end maybe 50% of the men and 50% of the woman drive. Poor example LOL but you get the idea (or maybe you don't I suck at explaining those things)

 

[AmberRose]

It's definitely a boys club here, but don't expect to get an honest answer about it unfortunately Stephanie.

I do know a large majority of providers feel as though our opinions are only welcome here if it goes along with the views of the male members, or strokes their egos in some way.
If you're speaking honestly as a provider and your comments don't match up with theirs, you get shut down pretty quickly, so most of us have learned it's better to just stay off the board for the most part.

There are plenty of gentlemen on here who welcome open conversation from all folks, including providers, but unfortunately most of these guys don't post much or left the board themselves, so we're stuck with the country club the rest of us aren't invited to.

Hope that helps

 

[Splotch]

... Well said Amber (sadly!). As an ex-lurker who started posting in the last 6 months, the avalanche of negativity I witnessed on the board kinda turned me off the community and I just... dropped out and went back to mostly lurking...

 

[Valdo]

Valdo, I also suspect that the rules of different boards could be a factor....

Like if 80% members are men, and 80% posts are from men, then it makes sense.

Yes I understand the two points of view you are expressing and you are right.

It's definitely a boys club here

Yes it is a punter's forum. Then it is normal that the point of view of men is predominant. But that does not mean that we are not careful, interested and open to what women want to say.

But if the Canadian escorts want a forum where their views are predominant, they should act like their British colleagues: they should launch a forum that is equivalent to the British SAAFE forum.

 

[gugu]

I do know a large majority of providers feel as though our opinions are only welcome here if it goes along with the views of the male members, or strokes their egos in some way.

If you're speaking honestly as a provider and your comments don't match up with theirs, you get shut down pretty quickly, so most of us have learned it's better to just stay off the board for the most part.

I think some of us are allergic to sweeping generalizations like:

1 a large majority of providers... You just do not and cannot know that because most providers I know just don't give a shit about this board. They don't even read it. Their interests are elsewhere, so they don't lose their time.

2 "your comments don't match up with theirs". "They" don't have common believes on anything. They argues strongly, the way guys often do, and then, when the occasion occurs, they go for a beer. It's probably not the issues that matter. You'll almost every time find people who agree with you and others who don't. I think it's the way discussions go that troubles you.

3 "so we're stuck with the country club the rest of us aren't invited to." Please attack the ideas, argue your points. I'm quite sure many would read this as an insult.

 

[AmberRose]

I think some of us are allergic to sweeping generalizations like:

1 a large majority of providers... You just do not and cannot know that because most providers I know just don't give a shit about this board. They don't even read it. Their interests are elsewhere, so they don't lose their time.

2 "your comments don't match up with theirs". "They" don't have common believes on anything. They argues strongly, the way guys often do, and then, when the occasion occurs, they go for a beer. It's probably not the issues that matter. You'll almost every time find people who agree with you and others who don't. I think it's the way discussions go that troubles you.

3 "so we're stuck with the country club the rest of us aren't invited to." Please attack the ideas, argue your points. I'm quite sure many would read this as an insult.

It was certainly not meant as a compliment

But yes, I'll agree I did some generalizations, though I do believe I probably know more about the opinions of providers then you would good sir But you're right, I'll try to watch the sweeping generalizations for the future.

However if you are truly allergic to them, I would have thought you'd have gone into anaphylactic shock by now by just being on this board, since it seems to be the norm here.

 

[chowzilla]

First of all most SPs, don't enjoy forums, let alone participate in them. So the majority of threads will be made by men.

The vibe I get, is that when a girl weighs in a topic, everyone pays attention and the thread goes off topic lol.

I always enjoyed forums, this is the only private community where I can share with people who enjoy the same hobby as much as me... a hobby I would think would have to be kept to myself forever.

At least for me, this forum has benefited me so much, I just enjoy being part of it.

 

[gugu]

I would have thought you'd have gone into anaphylactic shock by now by just being on this board, since it seems to be the norm here.

Good one! I'll admit it kills part of my argument.

 

[westwoody]

I do know a large majority of providers feel as though our opinions are only welcome here if it goes along with the views of the male members, or strokes their egos in some way.
If you're speaking honestly as a provider and your comments don't match up with theirs, you get shut down pretty quickly, so most of us have learned it's better to just stay off the board for the most part.

I admire a woman, or anyone really, who can make a decent argument.
They can disagree with me and that is fine, as long as they can back it up with facts or logic. They may convince me to change my own opinion.
Someone who stands up for what they really believe is admirable.
Trolls who spout nonsense, I put them on ignore.

One woman I saw tore a strip off me over something I did that really annoyed her, but I wasn't aware of. She made me realise how badly I had been behaving and I have tried to change my behaviour going forward. So yes she did criticise me but also did me a huge favour.

Some guys with a fragile ego would have a problem with that, but it's their loss if they cannot accept constructive criticism.

I have observed, and other perb members have said to me: this board and the industry in Montreal is much much more cynical and impersonal. A couple of guys have called it "transactional" and said the agency women in Montreal were mechanical and boring. Very attractive, but robotic and sterile, halfway through the hour they are already thinking about the next hour long meeting. I think this is the agency's business model of getting maximum revenue per escort per hour. Maybe because it is so open and routine it has become industrial. It has become a victim of its own success.