Now you have our curiosity, I am guessing there are a few reasons but graphic reviews could be one of them.
Curiousity: Men of The Lounge, Why are you Here?
- Thread starter stephanie.brown~
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Now you have our curiosity, I am guessing there are a few reasons but graphic reviews could be one of them.
I mean there's not really a way for me to voice it in public without all the gents here throwing their hands up shouting "That's absurd!!"
But to give a sneak peek: basic disrespect for the providers, graphic reviews are one, but when done in a way that shows not seeing them as people, a good amount of behind the scenes info that came to light that made lots of us turn away, the fact that we as providers can't talk about the same stuff you guys are allowed to without getting infractions(hence my boys club comment), manipulatation, entitlement, degrading and disgusting language being used about women, POC, trans folks, and many other people we hold dear and close, etc etc.
Again, this is not every member on here, there are plenty of lovely folks on here that shine a light over the other crap, but a lot of us couldn't handle participating n the lounge without compromising a lot of our moral code or just downright feeling gross.
But to give a sneak peek: basic disrespect for the providers, graphic reviews are one, but when done in a way that shows not seeing them as people, a good amount of behind the scenes info that came to light that made lots of us turn away, the fact that we as providers can't talk about the same stuff you guys are allowed to without getting infractions(hence my boys club comment), manipulatation, entitlement, degrading and disgusting language being used about women, POC, trans folks, and many other people we hold dear and close, etc etc.
Again, this is not every member on here, there are plenty of lovely folks on here that shine a light over the other crap, but a lot of us couldn't handle participating n the lounge without compromising a lot of our moral code or just downright feeling gross.
I am talking about reputation. Experience is a personal thing for you, reputation is how others see you.
Well there is a big difference. The first one is an accident, guy will apologies, feel bad about it and ill be like "well shit happen man, its ok, you didn't do it on purpose" While in second case if he hit me on purpose, well im not sure if i would just simply call the cops or hit him back, but in both ways ill be pissed and there will be consequences for the guy. The intention to hurt somebody vs no malicious intents make a big difference to me...
The clients that post the reviews
None, but reputation is earned on merb as i post above. I see different toward a long time vet like Eager Beaver or Iggy for exemple that i see with the brand new guy with no reviews and 3 post.
Not at all, i am simply discussing point of views with you. And i see yours as valid and certainly true for some peoples. But i think you generalize a lot... In any case me discussing this with you does not mean i don't respect or understand your point of view.
My Super Nintendo cartridge of Mortal Kombat 3 told me the same thing
Hello HM
When you read someone that has experience ,that is normally noticeable because of the coherence in any given subject .
As for reputation ,well there is many different possibilities .
Cheers
Booker
Amber and Maria, ladies like you can do a great service to the board simply by providing alternate points of view.
Anyone with common sense understands that two people with different opinions can both be right. They have different points of view or different circumstances, and what is right for one is not right for the other.
This board has a real risk of being an "echo chamber", when a bunch of people with very similar opinions get together and tell each other they are right. They may be completely wrong! But the group think, the desire to be one with the group, and fear of isolation, the ignorance or ridicule of anyone who is different, all mold the individual's opinions.
Different points of view make a better board. The more the better.
Anyone with common sense understands that two people with different opinions can both be right. They have different points of view or different circumstances, and what is right for one is not right for the other.
This board has a real risk of being an "echo chamber", when a bunch of people with very similar opinions get together and tell each other they are right. They may be completely wrong! But the group think, the desire to be one with the group, and fear of isolation, the ignorance or ridicule of anyone who is different, all mold the individual's opinions.
Different points of view make a better board. The more the better.
I guess we are distiguishing between merb lounge and merb reviews. I consult the reviews for reliable information which by the way I have found to be very accurate. Nobody wants to waste time and money.
I check out the lounge mainly for knowledge, occasionally regarding matters of general interest, but more often for insight into the psychology of participants in the business, both clients (including myself) and SPs. I've come across a few excellent threads that have given me food for thought on my own journey of self discovery and helped me also gain insight into the hearts and minds of my favourite ladies.
The lounge can be helpful in this regard as a source complimentary to actual personal experience. The topic fascinates me.
I haven't noticed posters disrespecting women (they seem to like them and be free of parochial attitudes) but thats not to say it doesn't happen.
I check out the lounge mainly for knowledge, occasionally regarding matters of general interest, but more often for insight into the psychology of participants in the business, both clients (including myself) and SPs. I've come across a few excellent threads that have given me food for thought on my own journey of self discovery and helped me also gain insight into the hearts and minds of my favourite ladies.
The lounge can be helpful in this regard as a source complimentary to actual personal experience. The topic fascinates me.
I haven't noticed posters disrespecting women (they seem to like them and be free of parochial attitudes) but thats not to say it doesn't happen.
Starry,
My experience has been the same as yours in regards to Lounge threads.
In the past there were a few very misogynistic type posters and they were not tolerated on the board and were more heavily criticized by fellow clients than by SPs. Those posters eventually were banned, left on their own accord or modified their posting style in order to avoid further issues and complaints.
Differing opinions is another subject altogether. Some posters are feistier in voicing their opinions than others and do not back down. It's of course permitted that we all have different opinions and we are also free to stick to them but I do like that a lot of different people have voiced their opinion.
Threads on race and gender have proven to be thorny because some people have trouble separating concepts of attraction with those of equality. When HM started the thread on transgender advertising there were some posts on physical attributes of men vs. women and I fell in line with those who posted that there is a difference between a natural woman and being attracted to a natural woman and not being attracted to someone who is a transgender. Along the same lines were posts by persons not attracted to persons of one race or another. To me it's all like whether you like the taste of chocolate or vanilla better and it's a pointless argument. Yet some tried to argue a lack of open mindedness. It's like saying I am not open minded because I don't like this flavor or that. These threads are where I find there is a disconnect between opinion and fact sometimes. Everyone has their own unique appetites and we just have to respect that.
My experience has been the same as yours in regards to Lounge threads.
In the past there were a few very misogynistic type posters and they were not tolerated on the board and were more heavily criticized by fellow clients than by SPs. Those posters eventually were banned, left on their own accord or modified their posting style in order to avoid further issues and complaints.
Differing opinions is another subject altogether. Some posters are feistier in voicing their opinions than others and do not back down. It's of course permitted that we all have different opinions and we are also free to stick to them but I do like that a lot of different people have voiced their opinion.
Threads on race and gender have proven to be thorny because some people have trouble separating concepts of attraction with those of equality. When HM started the thread on transgender advertising there were some posts on physical attributes of men vs. women and I fell in line with those who posted that there is a difference between a natural woman and being attracted to a natural woman and not being attracted to someone who is a transgender. Along the same lines were posts by persons not attracted to persons of one race or another. To me it's all like whether you like the taste of chocolate or vanilla better and it's a pointless argument. Yet some tried to argue a lack of open mindedness. It's like saying I am not open minded because I don't like this flavor or that. These threads are where I find there is a disconnect between opinion and fact sometimes. Everyone has their own unique appetites and we just have to respect that.
Yeah... my thread was just about the advertisement and if it should be disclose if a provider adversise as a woman that she/he was actually a man at birth. Accepting peoples in life is normal and should be done at all time. Sleeping with somebody tough is a different thing.
Thanks. Much appreciated. Perhaps beside the point but I have twice been attracted to people who have medically transitioned from male to female. They were attractive as women but I suspect that they retained some male attributes, although these may have been perceptible to me only subconsciously. I wonder whether my attraction in those cases may have been explained by a hormonal imbalance or tendencies that I was unaware of. How we can be motivated by forces within us that we do not control and of which we may be ignorant is a fascinating subject, as we all know. Anyway, both individuals were upfront with me and knowing the truth my interest evaporated. May just have been my social conditioning asserting itself. In any event I offer no apologies or excuses. It just is what it is. Accordingly I also think that you should not be criticized for expressing your preference.
Oh for the love of... Can we please not get into these awful discussions again?
Here's the thing, and this is kind of exactly my point, none of you realize or think that the things you're doing and saying are disrespectful, but you're also not the one it's about so you guys don't get to decide what's disrespectful and what isn't.
Some female providers have felt very disrespected by the tone and wording used on a lot of these threads by a lot of these posters, and so that's kind of the end of it. If you would like to know what it is they're finding to be that way, that's perfectly reasonable, but it's not okay to say "well I never felt anything written here was disrespectful to women sooo, I guess it wasn't!".
And here is why I got so upset at the last thread on trans women, and why I will absolutely lose my shit if this starts again, but the words you guys use to talk about them is so problematic and degrading and rude.
"Natural woman vs transgender" nope sorry, a trans women is a natural women too, who was also born a women. The term you should be using is AFAB - assigned female at birth. Gender is a social construct and not the same as a person's sex.
I can understand not knowing how the small words we think are meaningless actually have very loaded meaning behind it, but the thing is that many of our friends, lovers, partners, co workers, and even advertisers on here who are trans, and we get upset seeing the things written about them.
It's true, there's a bit of a blurred line between the lounge and reviews. Reviews themselves for the most part do serve several purposes, but the lounge is where people end up showing a lot of their views and opinions, both good and bad, but a fair amount of providers feel strongly about several topics discussed on the lounge and feel it's better to remain silent then to join in and get heated.
Here's the thing, and this is kind of exactly my point, none of you realize or think that the things you're doing and saying are disrespectful, but you're also not the one it's about so you guys don't get to decide what's disrespectful and what isn't.
Some female providers have felt very disrespected by the tone and wording used on a lot of these threads by a lot of these posters, and so that's kind of the end of it. If you would like to know what it is they're finding to be that way, that's perfectly reasonable, but it's not okay to say "well I never felt anything written here was disrespectful to women sooo, I guess it wasn't!".
And here is why I got so upset at the last thread on trans women, and why I will absolutely lose my shit if this starts again, but the words you guys use to talk about them is so problematic and degrading and rude.
"Natural woman vs transgender" nope sorry, a trans women is a natural women too, who was also born a women. The term you should be using is AFAB - assigned female at birth. Gender is a social construct and not the same as a person's sex.
I can understand not knowing how the small words we think are meaningless actually have very loaded meaning behind it, but the thing is that many of our friends, lovers, partners, co workers, and even advertisers on here who are trans, and we get upset seeing the things written about them.
It's true, there's a bit of a blurred line between the lounge and reviews. Reviews themselves for the most part do serve several purposes, but the lounge is where people end up showing a lot of their views and opinions, both good and bad, but a fair amount of providers feel strongly about several topics discussed on the lounge and feel it's better to remain silent then to join in and get heated.
Sorry but I think we have a different opinion on what is a natural woman. I didn't think what HM or anyone else wrote was offensive. I also don't agree with inventing politically correct terms in lieu of what I think if that isn't what I think. There are many companies who call their products natural, and they aren't. This is kind of a pointless debate. We have different views on what is natural. Mine isn't wrong because yours is "right." It's like the argument over not being open minded due to not liking a flavor. Am I offensive because I don't like chocolate and you do?
This is not the same as ice cream flavours at all, this is people's lives!
And this is an exact example of why we avoid joining in on conversations.
I think it work both ways Amber. As you find it direspectfull, wich is your opinio and you have all the right to have it, it does not mean its a fact or reality.
Wjats wrong with this wording. Do you get upset when people say FAKE BREAST also? There still breast and they still are partly natural ... But we define fake by them having been artifically transformed and augmented by a humain. Why we also sometimes say man-made.
Transgender last i recall have had surgery done and they have been having there penis removed or transformed into a vagina (not a doctor, not sure exactly how they proceed but you get the idea) Last i check that organ can't have babies... it does not have "periods" either.
I don't believe a state of mind is what define what gender or race you are. Its the way you where born. You may change your name and maybe even your sex legally to the views of the law, i dunno, but that person will certainly never be a "natural" woman. And i won't excuse myself for having this opinion or trying to go politically correct. Especially in a case of where there is nothing ofensive what so ever. I know its a trend these days to try to "SJW" everything but at some point when there is nothing to sjw it get a little ridiculous. Its like if somebody said to me "man, you are fat... you should loose weight to be more healthy". I am not gonna go and say "you call me fat?? how dare you" No because its true. I am fat. He didn't said i was a big fucking disgusting pig, he said i was fat. I don't see him stating the truth offensive. Im not just 10 lb above my healthy weight...
So when we talk about the escorting business, where things get intimate, where its all about sexuality, yes its important to disclose your gender even if it was changed.
If i was participating in a TV show where the goal was just to survive in the woods (a la survivor) with a group of peoples, i couldn't care less what sex they are, what sexual orientation or what race or whatever. Peoples are peoples, the goal is to survive by helping each other. But if i would participate on a date show, obviously i want to know what my potential date is. I wouldn't be interest to meet another man cause i am not homosexual. So just as much i am not interested to meet (for a date) a man wich then became a women.
Anyway.
edit : I think you generalize too much when you say '"we" . You can say this is why YOU don't participate more, but i am sure los of women, be it SP or not, have different point of views than you on this.
Wjats wrong with this wording. Do you get upset when people say FAKE BREAST also? There still breast and they still are partly natural ... But we define fake by them having been artifically transformed and augmented by a humain. Why we also sometimes say man-made.
Transgender last i recall have had surgery done and they have been having there penis removed or transformed into a vagina (not a doctor, not sure exactly how they proceed but you get the idea) Last i check that organ can't have babies... it does not have "periods" either.
I don't believe a state of mind is what define what gender or race you are. Its the way you where born. You may change your name and maybe even your sex legally to the views of the law, i dunno, but that person will certainly never be a "natural" woman. And i won't excuse myself for having this opinion or trying to go politically correct. Especially in a case of where there is nothing ofensive what so ever. I know its a trend these days to try to "SJW" everything but at some point when there is nothing to sjw it get a little ridiculous. Its like if somebody said to me "man, you are fat... you should loose weight to be more healthy". I am not gonna go and say "you call me fat?? how dare you" No because its true. I am fat. He didn't said i was a big fucking disgusting pig, he said i was fat. I don't see him stating the truth offensive. Im not just 10 lb above my healthy weight...
So when we talk about the escorting business, where things get intimate, where its all about sexuality, yes its important to disclose your gender even if it was changed.
If i was participating in a TV show where the goal was just to survive in the woods (a la survivor) with a group of peoples, i couldn't care less what sex they are, what sexual orientation or what race or whatever. Peoples are peoples, the goal is to survive by helping each other. But if i would participate on a date show, obviously i want to know what my potential date is. I wouldn't be interest to meet another man cause i am not homosexual. So just as much i am not interested to meet (for a date) a man wich then became a women.
Anyway.
edit : I think you generalize too much when you say '"we" . You can say this is why YOU don't participate more, but i am sure los of women, be it SP or not, have different point of views than you on this.
Let me repeat: I'm talking about like 300+ providers here so I think I can generalize a certain amount in this context.
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