I do think that there is a way to emphasize the transactional aspect of these encounters, or not. For instance if I welcome a client and I don't smile at him and I tell him to get in the shower and I do things in a very mechanical way, that feels transactional.. It's not enjoyable for either parties.
But I think having boundaries doesn't mean we are making things more transactional.. I see things differently. I have met people who just don't enjoy french kissing, they don't like the feeling of it. I've also met men who don't like getting blow jobs. I think for things to feel natural, boundaries have to be understood prior to the encounter and you work around them.. We all have our boundaries sexually. I think obviously daty and bbbj are included in casual sex or sex with partners usually.. but let's look at it differently. If someone is very sexually active with a lot of people, they are actually doing you a favor if they want to avoid risky things.
I don't know how true it is but I've heard that daty is riskier than bbbj for women. I've heard that it's easier to get an STI in your vagina than it is in your throat. This is my nurse who does STI tests who told me that, he might be right he might be wrong.. Sources online all say different things. That area ''down there'' is more fragile, tho. For instance HPV can cause cancer of the cervix.. Multiple exposures to STI's can mess you up down there too. You can also get UTIs, yeast infections, etc. from things like daty or digits..
It's also not because someone chooses to do something they truly enjoy it, or that if they choose not to do it with clients it means they don't. It can also really vary..