For the first time in my life, I am in therapy and on medication haha
She had to travel for a couple days, but she is coming back over tonight
Just do what is best for you. From what you have shared, this is quite a conundrum you are in. Just know love should feel good, and improve your life. It should not be hurting you as it seems to have been doing.
Do what you need to to take care of you, your heart, and mental state.