TWICE, including tonight, goddamn it.
1) First time was a blonde woman who went by "Eva" like 4 months ago. Received at a motel. I walked in. She looked nothing like her pictures even though they were "verified" by LeoList -- which means their verification is not reliable at all. Completely different woman -- the only thing she had in common with the person in the pic was hair color. Lucky my brain was working enough for me to walk out without paying or doing anything.
2) Tonight. On a LeoList ad, her name is currently "Olivia", and their phone number ends with 6514.
A red flag I should have seen is that LeoList marked the ad as "New User". A second red flag: price was too good to be true — 120HH, 200H. The only reason I thought it was somewhat believable was because the person in the pic wasn't that hot — I figured no one fake would advertise with a realistic photo, right? Wrong.
When I got there, the lights were dark and the person that greeted me was completely different. But somehow I didn't realize until I was already in the room. God I'm dumb sometimes, WTH.
It was a 50-year old Asian mom with a body built like Yoda WTF. I paid her for 1H because I'm an idiot, and when I realized she barely spoke any English, that's when it finally hit me. After I laughed at myself inside, realizing they got me, I asked for a deep tissue massage, which she was good at. And I guess since I was already there, I got a CBJ which I 100% regret because looking down made me realize she had a bit of a mustache. Literally the only thing making me feel better is that I'm able to share this story with you guys and hopefully make you laugh or cry.
Then I showered and left early because EW. I know I shouldn't be looking at LeoList in the first place, but all the well-reviewed agencies are inconveniently located for me, plus I've had a few good experiences on LeoList. But from now on, I'm always going to use this 5-step checklist before even texting someone:
- Do they have a Twitter/OF? (if so, good sign)
- Do they have realistic prices? (if not, avoid it)
- Did LL mark them as "New User"? (if so, RUN)
- Are their pics verified by LL? (can still be unreliable — see story #1 above)
- Has anybody on MERB talked about them? (search their name, last 4 digits of phone number)
I hate learning lessons the hard way. Don't be me — don't get head from Yoda. You deserve better. :'