How did you find a GF/Wife who was open to you seeing Escorts, Sugar Dating and going to stripclubs?

[TheQuestion]

Hey guys,

I posted this topic on TERB but also wanted to get your take on MERB.

I have been thinking about this for awhile. At some point I might consider getting a Long Term GF/Wife but I wonder how can I find one who might be open to me going to stripclubs or Sugar date...etc.

I wonder how did you guys do it? It seems there's two possible either she is bisexual and wants to join in. Or she's asexual and has no interest in sex and doesn't mind you going to clubs...etc.

I'm still haven't figured it out so I would appreciate your insights.

 

[ThunderLipps]

Marry an escort.

 

[CuriousGent]

you should probably try and date someone who is into polyamorous or consensual non monogamy. Now where you find them I have no idea... maybe sex clubs and life style dating app. But keep in mind that she may also want to indulge in the freedom of seeing other people.

 

[Fradi]

You better start saving now for alimony payments, doctor bills, lawyer bills and training to be able to doge sharp and fatal flying objects.
The rest is a piece of cake.

 

[Flyingby]

I love how you are considering settling down eventually
Because it really is that simple
It’s more along the lines of. When you meet her. You will want to settle down.

Will you be the reacher. Or the settler. Cuz you might have to also allow her fantasies as well. Which could be with a guy way better looking

On that note. I recently read an article about why male pornstars are les and less attractive. It makes it easier for the watchers to feel like they could bang the hot chick as well

 

[vanhamm]

I love how you are considering settling down eventually
Because it really is that simple
It’s more along the lines of. When you meet her. You will want to settle down.

Will you be the reacher. Or the settler. Cuz you might have to also allow her fantasies as well. Which could be with a guy way better looking

On that note. I recently read an article about why male pornstars are les and less attractive. It makes it easier for the watchers to feel like they could bang the hot chick as well

Hahah at 52 I would love to meet a good women do activities travel and when I am in relation I don't see SP nor cheat. But for the last 11 years its been close to impossible for me to find anyone.

 

[Julia Sky]

Marry an escort.

Being an escort doesn't mean someone is poly or into open relationships! A job is a job

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Marry an escort.

Honestly, I wouldn't be comfortable with my partner seeing escorts. Being an escort is my job like Julia said. If I had a partner I wouldn't have affairs or one night stands or book escorts or have any type of sexual encounters that aren't part of my job.

 

[Fradi]

Honestly, I wouldn't be comfortable with my partner seeing escorts. Being an escort is my job like Julia said. If I had a partner I wouldn't have affairs or one night stands or book escorts or have any type of sexual encounters that aren't part of my job.

I would never allow an escort to continue working as an escort if I fell in love with her and married her.
I don’t believe in cheating and I wouldn’t consider fucking other men as viable work for her.
I would be able to support her without the need for her to work if she didn’t want to but certainly not as an escort.
I am way too old fashioned, I don’t believe in open marriages they are a recipe for jealousy and disaster and I don’t share the one I love with other people sexually.

 

[Julia Sky]

I would never allow an escort to continue working as an escort if I fell in love with her and married her.

But then again, you probably wouldn't ask an escort to stop working so she can marry you, I think? Because that would cross a line, in my opinion.

I personally think one does not "allow" a partner to do anything, we simply choose what we allow ourselves to accept and that determines whether or not we want to be or stay with someone.

I wouldn't dare to tell someone "please stop working so we can date", but if the person themselves expressed interest in dating and I didn't like their job, I would simply respectfully voice that and let them decide what the next step is.

I would date a sex worker but there are other professions I wouldn't personally lol

 

[Giselle Montreal]

I personally think one does not "allow" a partner to do anything, we simply choose what we allow ourselves to accept and that determines whether or not we want to be or stay with someone.

Exactly, I would never be in the first place with someone who "allows" me to do something.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I deleted my comment because the 2 ladies above explained it better.

Also, I have dated escorts before, and I'm not poly or non monogamous. I didn't feel cheated on or jealous. It was their job.

 

[Fradi]

I have dated escorts before, and I didn't consider they were cheating on me. They were doing their jobs. It never crossed my mind to feel jealous or cheated. To me this comment shows you don't view our work as real work. To me it's a little mind boggling how people in this forum complain about us being fake and putting on a show for money lol. It is a job after all, but that doesn't seem to compute. (which doesn't mean we don't care about our clients or appreciate them, of course, because we do!)

At the same time, yes, I totally understand why you wouldn't want your wife to fuck other men. It's reasonable and understandable. But it's just not the same as cheating to me. There is a lack of curiosity about our lives as escorts, our realities, why we do what we do, why it's real work, etc, and it doesn't seem like what I say or what any other SP says here says will change that, which is why I'm trying to post a bit less often here.

I don’t judge how you live your life or what you consider as cheating or not cheating you do what you are comfortable with and what makes you happy.
I don’t consider you fake or any other escort.
I think you provide a much appreciated service for lonely men and ones that are in need of some feminine companionship.
I adore my ATF and think I am so fortunate and lucky to have her in my life and one other young lady I see.
We are friends and have known each other for a long time.
I seriously doubt there is anything fake about our friendship and the fact that we enjoy each others company, I know I can’t wait to see them and they have made my life so much better after the loss of my wife. I will always be grateful to them.

We are all different and have different values.
I was married for over 35 years to the woman of my dreams it would never enter my mind to cheat on her as I was totally in love with her.and I would have been devastated had she cheated on me.
I would never be seeing escorts had cancer not taken her from me, but I still have my children, grandchildren that I see every week and a life time of memories.

 

[Fradi]

Exactly, I would never be in the first place with someone who "allows" me to do something.

Okay let me phrase it differently then you are right it was the wrong word to use.
I would never marry or have a serious relationship with an escort who would continue escorting.
For me 2 people who are in love with each other do not have sex with other people.
Old fashioned, yes.

 

[Fradi]

But then again, you probably wouldn't ask an escort to stop working so she can marry you, I think? Because that would cross a line, in my opinion.

I personally think one does not "allow" a partner to do anything, we simply choose what we allow ourselves to accept and that determines whether or not we want to be or stay with someone.

I wouldn't dare to tell someone "please stop working so we can date", but if the person themselves expressed interest in dating and I didn't like their job, I would simply respectfully voice that and let them decide what the next step is.

I would date a sex worker but there are other professions I wouldn't personally lol

Julia,
You are right allow was the wrong word to use.
However that does not change the fact that I would not marry or have a serious relationship with an escort if she continued to be an escort.

I simply couldn’t handle it, when I love somebody I do not share them sexually, yes you can call it old fashioned or what ever you like to call it.
We are all different and I am sure I am not the only one that thinks this way,

 

[Fradi]

To me it's completely different to accept that your partner is an escort VS accepting that your partner is seeing escorts.

You obviously have different values and live in a different reality than I do.
In the end what ever makes you happy and what works for you is all good.

For me when I love somebody and want to share my life with that person it is exclusive and it doesn’t include sex with any other person for either party.

 

[Julia Sky]

Julia,
You are right allow was the wrong word to use.
However that does not change the fact that I would not marry or have a serious relationship with an escort if she continued to be an escort.

I simply couldn’t handle it, when I love somebody I do not share them sexually, yes you can call it old fashioned or what ever you like to call it.
We are all different and I am sure I am not the only one that thinks this way,

Yes and that's totally fine, being different is what makes this world so interesting to live in Everyone has their own boundaries when it comes to relationships and that's perfectly fine as long as everyone involved communicates their needs clearly and respect each other at every step ! You are definitely not the only one with this boundary.

 

[Fradi]

Yes and that's totally fine, being different is what makes this world so interesting to live in Everyone has their own boundaries when it comes to relationships and that's perfectly fine as long as everyone involved communicates their needs clearly and respect each other at every step ! You are definitely not the only one with this boundary.

Julia,
You are not only gorgeous but an amazing young lady always so kind and understanding, just a total sweetheart.
You are far wiser than your age. Just an exceptional young lady in many ways.

 

[Doc Holliday]

One of the last girls i dated also happened to be an escort & it was possibly one of my many relationships which worked out the most as crazy as it may sound. It was an agreed-upon ‘open’ relationship & we not only encouraged one another to explore other sexual relationships but we often entertained one another telling some of the juiciest & funniest encounters we’d have. Of course experience & maturity was an asset in maintaining our relationship since i doubt very much this arrangement would have worked out as good as it did a dozen plus years ago when i was younger & still somewhat new to the nature of the business. It helps that today i no longer have an ounce of jealousy in my body & what’s more important to me is my partner’s happiness. Any partner.

 

[sphunter]

if you happen to find a girl who is cool enough with you seeing escorts, you should be wondering why, in the very rare cases, even if its just because she's so easy going, it would be most likely because she is kinda detached from "sex", she doesn't necessarily cherish it as much as others, this could be a good and a bad thing.

the 0.01% who get that 1 sided open relationship, one should not expect to pull this off. The only times I have seen this happen, is for the top tier type of guys, who have all the checkmarks (looks, status, money, charisma, personality etc...), where the girl is the one reaching (as opposed to settling). You could make the argument these men are the not the type of guys who book girls.

A very good friend of mine whose a big player in this world, he told me, whether it be a client or an sp, usually the only people who understand this "job" are people from the industry. He dates ex-escorts, who understand, it's nothing emotional, just a biological necessity, something to get out of the way. Same goes for the women in the industry, finding a civilian boyfriend usually entails lying because a regular civilian won't understand, and the civilians/clients who claim to understand, are usually the guys that women don't want to date.

bottom line, the guy needs to step up his game high enough for the girl to feel like she wants to be locked down by this said man.

my mantra: do better to get better

nonetheless I only met 1 other client who had a civilian gf, who didn't mind her bf seeing SPs, but then again, she was borderline a lesbian, so does it even count?

the goal of finding X lady who is just simply down with you seeing escorts on the side, is just a pipe dream. Hoping you stumble upon one is a bit delusional.

i aint got a dog in this fight, i hope to find someone here who can tell me otherwise.