How do you raise daughters? And what's your worst fear regarding them pursuing this?
- Thread starter 613ottawaguy
- Start date
I completely agree.
I've always advice sp to save as much as possible and do not even begin escorting if you do not already have your plan for exit defined.
Cheers,
Every escort you guys have seen is someone's daughter. Treat her, and all the women you meet, as you would want your own daughter treated.
I agree with Julia's perspective.
Hungry's comparison of a hobbyist with an alcoholic is flawed. The better analogy is to a social drinker - someone who occasionally enjoys an indulgence. Everything in moderation. One could even argue sex is a healthier indulgence than drinking. Would I deliberately introduce a son or daughter to drinking ? To hobbying or escorting? No, that is a personal choice and IMO not the role of a parent. But I would have no issue if they decided to pursue those activities. Yes, in the case of escorting I would want a daughter to have a longer term financial plan.
Hungry's comparison of a hobbyist with an alcoholic is flawed. The better analogy is to a social drinker - someone who occasionally enjoys an indulgence. Everything in moderation. One could even argue sex is a healthier indulgence than drinking. Would I deliberately introduce a son or daughter to drinking ? To hobbying or escorting? No, that is a personal choice and IMO not the role of a parent. But I would have no issue if they decided to pursue those activities. Yes, in the case of escorting I would want a daughter to have a longer term financial plan.
I haven't read the whole thread yet....I'll do it straight after this post (while replying to my PMs lol)...As a mother of 2 daughters and as a daughter myself (and as a SP!)....I write quickly so please, do not mind about my mistakes...there will be many!! lol
My mother always have a very pejorative vision of the sex industry... My father owned strip clubs and my mother saw wayyy too much things in this period... I always lied to my mother, told her I was barmaid at l'Axe when in fact, I was stripping there...I even brought her once and the doormen confirmed my life with her when they introduced themself to her....she was dealing with cancer and IMHO back then, telling her the truth wouldn't have changed anything but stressing her out for absolutely no reason..so I was stripping from wednesday to sunday, 7 pm to 3 am....and she knew everything..I was just changing some words when telling her what happened lately...if someone was pissing me off in the booths, with her this same "someone" was pissing me off but at my bar...Having to do a thumb down to the real barmaid when I was having issues with clients inside the booths to let her know I want the doorman to come over? Then on the phone with my mom, I was doing the thumb down to as stripper/dj/shooter girl etc...
Why? Because no matter if she didn't have serious health issues, she wouldn't accept it at all, most probably she would have tried to get me out from there, thought I was abused by a pimp, a boyfriend etc...and having to argue with her constantly about something thats not real...I favored having to deal with her phobias than ending up lying to her just to make her stop with her paranoia...but no matter how worried she would have been, that would not make me ending up quitting...
As a mother, I do not normalize this kind of job, I do not demonize it either...I just do not point any job to my daughters at all (except if they ask about it...like a job where a vet would not have to kill any animal at all...one a;ready asked me that...)...I just encourage them to do what they want to do of their life...They do not know my secret life and it is not their business either...even when they will be over 18...If they ask, I won't lie at them like I did with my mother (it will depends on their personality when they ask it though...), but I just want to encourage them to do what they want and not what they have been told to do...trying to please everyone but them is a key to failure...
I also do know, as I am doing it right now, they can work and see clients from time to time meanwhile going to school or working in a real career... I do work and study...and do not need this job to earn my living...but to me, the money is the safest boundaries in order to respond to my carnal needs, without risking to introduce a man in my privacy (their privacy as well) and regret it afterward..so it keeps my parallel lives separates and set it both straight...there are so many way of doing it the way they want, with the boundaries they want, that's another reason why I encourage them in following their own judgement...if they end up working as SP, hopefully, their judgement will lead them to keep their self-respect and set their boundaries to enjoy their experience...I rather have their trust and make sure they will open up to me if this happens, then they might know what they are passing through...and guide them to avoid the sharks around..than starting to bitch about it and embarrass them to confess what they are living in their secret life....sometime this job can make SPs feel very lonely, afraid of being judge...and this is the last thing on earth I wish for them...No matter what they do, their mother will always be there for them both and that's the only thing that really matter...
There is no scientific data about it but many psychologists and studies say that the #1 predictor to see how a kid will get along in life is not the parents job, religion, not if they are still together or not...not their income...the really reliable predictor on our kid's futue is to let them run, experiment, try and fail but getting back up.,..live their life and no matter what happen in the day, there will always be a neck to wrap their arms around when comes the evening (or when needed! lol)...and their parent's voice in their ear telling them:"I'm here"
My mother always have a very pejorative vision of the sex industry... My father owned strip clubs and my mother saw wayyy too much things in this period... I always lied to my mother, told her I was barmaid at l'Axe when in fact, I was stripping there...I even brought her once and the doormen confirmed my life with her when they introduced themself to her....she was dealing with cancer and IMHO back then, telling her the truth wouldn't have changed anything but stressing her out for absolutely no reason..so I was stripping from wednesday to sunday, 7 pm to 3 am....and she knew everything..I was just changing some words when telling her what happened lately...if someone was pissing me off in the booths, with her this same "someone" was pissing me off but at my bar...Having to do a thumb down to the real barmaid when I was having issues with clients inside the booths to let her know I want the doorman to come over? Then on the phone with my mom, I was doing the thumb down to as stripper/dj/shooter girl etc...
Why? Because no matter if she didn't have serious health issues, she wouldn't accept it at all, most probably she would have tried to get me out from there, thought I was abused by a pimp, a boyfriend etc...and having to argue with her constantly about something thats not real...I favored having to deal with her phobias than ending up lying to her just to make her stop with her paranoia...but no matter how worried she would have been, that would not make me ending up quitting...
As a mother, I do not normalize this kind of job, I do not demonize it either...I just do not point any job to my daughters at all (except if they ask about it...like a job where a vet would not have to kill any animal at all...one a;ready asked me that...)...I just encourage them to do what they want to do of their life...They do not know my secret life and it is not their business either...even when they will be over 18...If they ask, I won't lie at them like I did with my mother (it will depends on their personality when they ask it though...), but I just want to encourage them to do what they want and not what they have been told to do...trying to please everyone but them is a key to failure...
I also do know, as I am doing it right now, they can work and see clients from time to time meanwhile going to school or working in a real career... I do work and study...and do not need this job to earn my living...but to me, the money is the safest boundaries in order to respond to my carnal needs, without risking to introduce a man in my privacy (their privacy as well) and regret it afterward..so it keeps my parallel lives separates and set it both straight...there are so many way of doing it the way they want, with the boundaries they want, that's another reason why I encourage them in following their own judgement...if they end up working as SP, hopefully, their judgement will lead them to keep their self-respect and set their boundaries to enjoy their experience...I rather have their trust and make sure they will open up to me if this happens, then they might know what they are passing through...and guide them to avoid the sharks around..than starting to bitch about it and embarrass them to confess what they are living in their secret life....sometime this job can make SPs feel very lonely, afraid of being judge...and this is the last thing on earth I wish for them...No matter what they do, their mother will always be there for them both and that's the only thing that really matter...
There is no scientific data about it but many psychologists and studies say that the #1 predictor to see how a kid will get along in life is not the parents job, religion, not if they are still together or not...not their income...the really reliable predictor on our kid's futue is to let them run, experiment, try and fail but getting back up.,..live their life and no matter what happen in the day, there will always be a neck to wrap their arms around when comes the evening (or when needed! lol)...and their parent's voice in their ear telling them:"I'm here"
Not all families are ashamed of family members that do sex work. Please see the clip below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56dPMEyPmTQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56dPMEyPmTQ
I see you are not a father. LOL.
Shit. I wouldn't want my daughter to be one that is for sure. That is me. Don't know nor care on what you decide. Your life your choice.
How many of us freely divulge that we do this in casual conversation? Would you put this on a resume as a hobby to show that you are a well rounded individual? I play golf, tennis, and see escorts. Of course not.
There are escorts that I consider friends. I like and respect many of the girls that do this. I see many as intellectual equals. When I was younger I could imagine myself falling in love with one...running off and having kids...but we would not raise them to be escorts! That was not part of the fantasy. This hobby is something that lurks in the shadows.
There are escorts that I consider friends. I like and respect many of the girls that do this. I see many as intellectual equals. When I was younger I could imagine myself falling in love with one...running off and having kids...but we would not raise them to be escorts! That was not part of the fantasy. This hobby is something that lurks in the shadows.
I think many of us as parents share the same opinion as Hungry.
So far the escorts I have seen were all fabulous ladies, they have treated me with kindness and I totally respect them.
If I was half my age I could see myself being totally in love with my ATF and living a life with her, she is one of the most gorgeous and kindest women I have ever known.
As it is I have lived my life with the woman of my dreams and my ATF deserves the same with someone her own age and any guy that she falls in love with will be lucky.
I don’t have a daughter, but I would not want this lifestyle for her.
It is difficult, dangerous, not accepted by society and not something that is out in the open and can be put on a resume.
Why would I want a life of hardship for my child, if however she still chose this lifestyle I would support her 100%, you never stop being a father, and my children are my life.
So far the escorts I have seen were all fabulous ladies, they have treated me with kindness and I totally respect them.
If I was half my age I could see myself being totally in love with my ATF and living a life with her, she is one of the most gorgeous and kindest women I have ever known.
As it is I have lived my life with the woman of my dreams and my ATF deserves the same with someone her own age and any guy that she falls in love with will be lucky.
I don’t have a daughter, but I would not want this lifestyle for her.
It is difficult, dangerous, not accepted by society and not something that is out in the open and can be put on a resume.
Why would I want a life of hardship for my child, if however she still chose this lifestyle I would support her 100%, you never stop being a father, and my children are my life.
So now we're discussing one of the the oldest, most insipid and hackneyed anti-prostitution arguments in the world "Would you want your daughter to do this???!!!"
It's a stupid, meaningless, hypothetical question, no different from asking:
Would you want your daughter to become a cleaning woman? Would you want your daughter to become a cashier in a convenience store? Would you want your daughter to become a prison guard?
There is no satisfactory answer to a question like that. The question itself implies an attitude of extreme condescension and scorn towards whatever job you insert at the end of "Would you want your daughter to...?"
So, I will answer the question with another question: Would you want your daughter to grow up to be an over-educated, elitist, condescending, radical feminist professor who looks down on women that have lower status jobs and tries to prevent them from making their own decisions about their lives?
My answer to that question is definitely, "NO."
Capt I think you’re spot on!!
Every argument that has been used in this thread is flawed.
"Society doesn’t like escorts" they also don’t particularly like prison guards or tax examiners yet we never see anyone having a problem with the idea of their daughter becoming one of these.
"Escorts deal with shitty clients" so do cashiers and waitresses. Yet nobody fears that their daughter will become a waitress.
"It’s a dangerous job!" Yeah... Why are people so proud when their sons enter the military? What about hold ups in gas stations? Bank workers who face risks associated with the job? What about people working with sharks? Miners? Circus and the risk of injury? Police officers and firemen? Fishing, which has a very high rate of workplace fatality? What about the unit that takes care of disarming bombs?
Every single argument can be said for so many other jobs. People don’t realize that their bias is only directed towards sex workers. You may respect the escorts that you meet but saying your daughter is better than that shows your respect towards this as a job isn’t as real as you think it is. Every escort you meet is someone’s daughter, in case you forgot.
P.s while escorts can screen their clients, nobody that works at the bank gets to screen for guns before someone enters the bank. Lol
Every argument that has been used in this thread is flawed.
"Society doesn’t like escorts" they also don’t particularly like prison guards or tax examiners yet we never see anyone having a problem with the idea of their daughter becoming one of these.
"Escorts deal with shitty clients" so do cashiers and waitresses. Yet nobody fears that their daughter will become a waitress.
"It’s a dangerous job!" Yeah... Why are people so proud when their sons enter the military? What about hold ups in gas stations? Bank workers who face risks associated with the job? What about people working with sharks? Miners? Circus and the risk of injury? Police officers and firemen? Fishing, which has a very high rate of workplace fatality? What about the unit that takes care of disarming bombs?
Every single argument can be said for so many other jobs. People don’t realize that their bias is only directed towards sex workers. You may respect the escorts that you meet but saying your daughter is better than that shows your respect towards this as a job isn’t as real as you think it is. Every escort you meet is someone’s daughter, in case you forgot.
P.s while escorts can screen their clients, nobody that works at the bank gets to screen for guns before someone enters the bank. Lol
Yes every escort I meet is someone else’s daughter and I struggled with that a lot and also with seeing someone half my age.
In the end will me not seeing that particular escort change her life, improve her life style. I don’t think so.
However when she is with me at least she will be treated with kindness and respect, will be safe, won’t be cancelled on or jerked around and she will not have to worry about haggling over her price.
No I would not want my daughter to be a miner or work with sharks, be a fireman or a police woman or an escort either.
I would want my daughter to be safe, be respected, have a lifestyle better than mine and most of all to be happy.
This I believe is what every parent wants for their child.
I wish SW wouldn’t have to hide in the shadows, wouldn’t have to use fake names, would be able to disclose their profession to their family and friends.
I wish they would be accepted by society like a doctor or social worker or any other respected profession but wishing it is not going to make it happen and until then no I would not want my daughter to be an escort.
BtW it is only stupid or hypothetical if you are not a parent and don’t have children and then it becomes easy to recommend all kinds of BS.
I have sons and no I would not want them to be SW either for the same reasons.
In the end will me not seeing that particular escort change her life, improve her life style. I don’t think so.
However when she is with me at least she will be treated with kindness and respect, will be safe, won’t be cancelled on or jerked around and she will not have to worry about haggling over her price.
No I would not want my daughter to be a miner or work with sharks, be a fireman or a police woman or an escort either.
I would want my daughter to be safe, be respected, have a lifestyle better than mine and most of all to be happy.
This I believe is what every parent wants for their child.
I wish SW wouldn’t have to hide in the shadows, wouldn’t have to use fake names, would be able to disclose their profession to their family and friends.
I wish they would be accepted by society like a doctor or social worker or any other respected profession but wishing it is not going to make it happen and until then no I would not want my daughter to be an escort.
BtW it is only stupid or hypothetical if you are not a parent and don’t have children and then it becomes easy to recommend all kinds of BS.
I have sons and no I would not want them to be SW either for the same reasons.
That is their choice not mine.
They have never had problems attracting civilians and are in relationships, so it is highly unlikely, but you never know.
I was also married for a lifetime until I lost her to cancer and I did not see anyone else, there was no need.
Even now I tend to see mostly one gorgeous fabulous SP who is unbelievably kind to me.
