Long distance relationships.. do they work out...?

[jeff teliska]

My fellow merbites i met a nice colombian lady last summer while traveling by myself ( cali barranquilla bogota cartagena ) and since then i went back in september and last month we spend a beautiful week in cuba.. we text everyday and talk on the phone once or twice each week..
The thing is you hear so many horror stories about girls using foreigners only for legal citizenship papers or being sent money etc..
I've always had trust issues when it comes to girls from poorer countries and i've met quite a few and as soon as they would ask for money i'd end it right there.
The colombian lady has yet to ask me anything but i have a hard time imagining her being faithful for some reason..
Anyways does anyone have advices or hints that could me see clearer or any horror stories out there that could be helpful...?
greatly appreciated.
P.S We applied for a tourist visa which was turned down by the canadian government due to her lack of travelling and insufficient funds etc.. and the last thing iwant to do is marry her and then be stuck with my horror story where she uses me just to bring her hidden boyfriend type of thing.. i might just be too paranoid lol

 

[malboro_man]

Anyways does anyone have advices or hints that could me see clearer or any horror stories out there that could be helpful...?
greatly appreciated.

Tell her you are really poor and in great debt....you need her to work as SP to pay off your debt....see if she still wants to see you. If so, it's true love.

Forget the SP part, I was just being sarcastic. But, the rest, I am being serious.

 

[MtlNewbie]

This isn't the typical long distance relationship. You should also worry that she suddenly gets pregnant. I know a guy who was dating a foreign national and she got pregnant and they have a kid now so they've moved in. She was a student so she stopped to take care of the baby, he said he has to pay for the baby and her so it's like he has 2 babies and she just takes his credit cards to buy stuff. On top of that she's the kind of girl that rags on him in public. Now the real kicker is that she doesn't speak French and she was studying to become a teacher but he keeps pressing her to learn French and she keeps saying it's impossible so she won't try. I'm pretty sure without French her chances of finding a job are 1/10th what they could be.

Back to OP's story, let's ask some hard questions, what is the age gap between you? She hasn't asked you for anything but have you paid for everything so far? I just don't want you to be deluding yourself because I know how guys' minds work; a girl knows your name and we'll immediately start high fiving everyone like we're in.

 

[jeff teliska]

Hmmm very interesting inputs so far.. to answer mtl newbie i am 40 and she is 26.. she also has a 8 year old. yes i did pay for everything. She earns 600 to 800 bucks working in an upscale restaurant.. funny thing i just got a text from her saying la visa me preocupa.. oh and mitsou what happened to your good friend...?

 

[malboro_man]

jeff: your response should be "hasta la vista baby!"....run, don't walk! Give yourself some time and distance and you'll realize this woman has an ulterior motive. This smells bad.

 

[Halloween Mike]

dude, your asking this on an escort board, where lots of members are not even "fidele", whats the word again..., well they see escorts while they have a wife... Of course the response is gonna be.... LOL

I mean, in real life, if you love somebody, and your willing to spend time, effort and trust into a relationship, yes it can work, only if it goes both side. I said goodbye to the woman i had view on today.. sadly it didn't work as i wanted, as i was too afraid to be too obvious, but we will remain friend. I know if she would had said YES i want to be your GF today, even as the last day of school, i would had no problem staying true to her...

 

[Rudolph]

dude, your asking this on an escort board, where lots of members are not even "fidele", whats the word again..., well they see escorts while they have a wife... Of course the response is gonna be.... LOL

I mean, in real life, if you love somebody, and your willing to spend time, effort and trust into a relationship, yes it can work, only if it goes both side. I said goodbye to the woman i had view on today.. sadly it didn't work as i wanted, as i was too afraid to be too obvious, but we will remain friend. I know if she would had said YES i want to be your GF today, even as the last day of school, i would had no problem staying true to her...

Apologies for hijacking the thread but just wanted to give Mike a shout out, sorry to hear that it didn't work out with the new love interest. Don't worry though, plenty more for you to meet!

 

[str8flash]

yes i did pay for everything. She earns 600 to 800 bucks working in an upscale restaurant.

is that per week ? per month ? How did you meet her and did you pay the first time you had sex with her ?

My advice to you : The only way she can come here is to marry you, so do it , but make her sign a prenup !

 

[MtlNewbie]

Apologies for hijacking the thread but just wanted to give Mike a shout out, sorry to hear that it didn't work out with the new love interest. Don't worry though, plenty more for you to meet!

HM, we need an update on your original thread. You're leaving out details! Or else what you said made no sense.

 

[jeff teliska]

the 600 bucks is the monthly pay.. btw i want u guys to know am not desperately in love with her and not interested in marriage for the moment.. as a matter of fact there are 3girls i fool around with here and if i were to ask them to marry me they'd say yes lol.. i just have the strange urge to procreate with her( she's just the second girl in my life who made me feel this way ) and also i consider her wifey material but am willing to take the time it needs to know her real motives. i feel no pressure. while in cuba she's the one who cried many times saying she was getting attached and that everytime we separated it was getting harder and harder.. she lives with her mom and daughter (both of them i met) and also has 5 older brothers who play the absent father's role.. she's religious and afraid of God but it doesn't mean she cant lie. i am just curious to know if am the only one in her life. this is the only way i'd take it to another level. only way. patience is a forte of mine:nod:
thx for the advices Mitsou

 

[jeff teliska]

to str8flash no i didnt pay her to have sex the first time and what kind of prenup you are talkin about...? thx

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

Simple reply................ NO.

 

[MtlNewbie]

judging by you re-hashing what she's said and how you're analyzing things, I think you're really into her and looking at things with the male brain that I talked about. Anyone can say these things. I'd love to go on a trip to Cuba all expenses paid and I'd be happy to introduce you to my parents.

But seriously, I'm not sure what advice you want, like real advice or just for people to support you in your endeavour.

I also actually for the first time ever, agree with JSB: there's no right or wrong between couples, it's whatever floats your boats.

 

[Pleasure_Seeker88]

Personally, the whole thing seems pretty suspect to me. I'd suggest keeping an eye out in case she starts asking for money or "help" getting a citizenship. I can safely attest that it most cases, long term relationships never end well as either both sides drift apart, one side meets someone new, or when both sides meet up again, they discover the other person to be nothing like they remembered. In the end, all you can do is take all of the advice fellow merbites have provided with a grain of salt, and make a decision after evaluating all the pros and cons.

 

[hungry101]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOjYsha6Hr8

Watch this series first about a guy who gets taken by his Thai wife. He was an idiot but it is worth reviewing and taking a few notes. Just consider this:

1.) Paternity suits know no boundaries.
2.) If you marry her and divorce and she can't support herself you will most likely support her indefinitely.

 

[jeff teliska]

thx hungry 101.. but just like in the article chris9inch posted i think this guy took huge risks which i am definitely not planning on taking.. btw in colombia rarely are there paternity suits.. one of the many reasons colombian girls become single mothers and jump all over foreigners thinking wrongly that we are more faithful or virtuous..

 

[Doggyluver]

With all the beautiful women in this country, why would anyone want to have a relationship that was so far away. I get it if you travel to another country and have great sex with someone for the week you are there but then come home and find someone here. Geese, I won't even travel to Longueil to see an SP which would be far cheaper and less complicated than travelling to another country so travelling around the world......I think not