Montreal Restaurants: The Two Strikes And You're Out Club

[EagerBeaver]

This is a new thread on Montreal restaurants which should be the repository for bad reviews of bad restaurants. It is designed to be to restaurant reviews what Lion Heart's thread "Buyer Beware: Warning of Potential Bait And Switch Providers" was to reviews on bad and deceptive escort agencies. The thread is named in honor of Jeremy & Vinita's "Two Strikes And You're Out Club" on their cult favorite website. I have asked the Mods to splice in some warning reviews of bad restaurants from the thread I already started called "New Montreal Restaurant Thread." It was suggested in that thread that I start a new thread for the "Two Strikes and You're out Club." I decided to do that with the thumbs down icon since the "New Montreal Restaurant Thread" was created with a thumbs up icon.

So this thread is for bad reviews or warning reviews on restaurants. Review away!

 

[EagerBeaver]

Gotsome,

I am glad you liked their fries, but the readers should know that the La Belle Province on St. Catherine and Aylmer is listed in the "Two Strikes and You're Out Club" on Jeremy and Vinita's Montreal Restaurant Guide, with the comment that they are serving "horrid fast food." The "Two Strikes and You're Out Club" is essentially the restaurant equivalent of the "bait and switch agency" warning thread on MERB:

http://www.cim.mcgill.ca/~jer/visit/rest.html (scroll to bottom of list)

Other restos that Jeremy and Vinita list in this club and which could be a dangerous and sickening culinary experience (some of these may have already closed as the site is not up to date):

Indiana's
Amelio's
Sushi et Boulettes
Foxy's
La Belle Thailandaise (they really hammer this place)
Dunn's
Rahamim (Kosher Japanese, now confirmed as closed)
Moe's Deli and Bar (Dorval Airport; called a "disgrace to the fine culinary offerings of Montreal")

If anyone would like to add to the Two Strikes and You're Out Club, please do, as this thread is not confined to discussion of recommended restaurants only.

My first nomination to the Club, and I think I mentioned it previously in this thread some years ago, would be the hotel restaurant at the Delta Montreal which served me the most disgusting tasting pizza I ever had in my life. I know, it serves me right for ordering food at the hotel restaurant. Well, it was a few years ago in early April, it was raining like crazy outside, the college basketball Final Four was on TV, and I did not feel like leaving the hotel. That is the only time in my life I ever ordered a pizza that was so bad I could not even eat one slice. Despite being ravenously hungry! It tasted rancid and I nearly vomited.

As far as regular restaurants, honestly I have not eaten at too many bad restos in Montreal. I don't off the top of my head recall ordering food that was inedible at a regular non-hotel resto. I would say the closest would be Claddagh on Crescent Street which served me a burger that was mediocre at best and fries that were soggy and wilted like a 50 year old SP's breasts. It's definitely the weakest food I ever had on the Crescent Street strip.

 

[AllOverHer]

Gotsome,

I am glad you liked their fries, but the readers should know that the La Belle Province on St. Catherine and Aylmer is listed in the "Two Strikes and You're Out Club" on Jeremy and Vinita's Montreal Restaurant Guide, with the comment that they are serving "horrid fast food." The "Two Strikes and You're Out Club" is essentially the restaurant equivalent of the "bait and switch agency" warning thread on MERB:

http://www.cim.mcgill.ca/~jer/visit/rest.html (scroll to bottom of list)

Other restos that Jeremy and Vinita list in this club and which could be a dangerous and sickening culinary experience (some of these may have already closed as the site is not up to date):

Indiana's
Amelio's
Sushi et Boulettes
Foxy's
La Belle Thailandaise (they really hammer this place)
Dunn's
Rahamim (Kosher Japanese, now confirmed as closed)
Moe's Deli and Bar (Dorval Airport; called a "disgrace to the fine culinary offerings of Montreal")

If anyone would like to add to the Two Strikes and You're Out Club, please do, as this thread is not confined to discussion of recommended restaurants only.

My first nomination to the Club, and I think I mentioned it previously in this thread some years ago, would be the hotel restaurant at the Delta Montreal which served me the most disgusting tasting pizza I ever had in my life. I know, it serves me right for ordering food at the hotel restaurant. Well, it was a few years ago in early April, it was raining like crazy outside, the college basketball Final Four was on TV, and I did not feel like leaving the hotel. That is the only time in my life I ever ordered a pizza that was so bad I could not even eat one slice. Despite being ravenously hungry! It tasted rancid and I nearly vomited.

As far as regular restaurants, honestly I have not eaten at too many bad restos in Montreal. I don't off the top of my head recall ordering food that was inedible at a regular non-hotel resto. I would say the closest would be Claddagh on Crescent Street which served me a burger that was mediocre at best and fries that were soggy and wilted like a 50 year old SP's breasts. It's definitely the weakest food I ever had on the Crescent Street strip.

EB,
This guide is hard to follow and seems obsolete. We have no references. When did the review occurred? last week, last year? a decade ago?

We don't even know if this web page created in 1997 is still updated or the people graduated from McGill. Unless they're in a multi degree studies.

 

[Agrippa]

IKEA Cafeteria

I quickly scrolled down the review list and randomly came across the IKEA Cafeteria (9191 Cavendish Blvd & Autoroute 40 (738-2167)) review. Jeremy & Vinita gave it a decent review, but in my opinion they belong on the 'two strikes and you're out' list (even though I've only eaten there once and it was quite sometime ago). It was worse than airplane food. All I remember is that I had (obviously) Swedish meatballs. They were soggy, as was everything else on my plate. I would rather suffer of malnourishement while I am trapped in the IKEA with a g/f on a self-medication shopping spree than eat that again.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Ikea

Agrippa,

We have an IKEA in Connecticut and it is strictly cafeteria type food as you mentioned. Shop there, but don't eat there!

 

[EagerBeaver]

EDIT: I have moved this post to the position of thread starter. Doing this was to ensure that posts moved into this thread will not displace the starting post.

Mod 8

 

[montreal_monk01]

EB,
This is a great idea. How many times we give so many chances to a restaurant, and yet it keeps insisting with some bad generalized customer service. Whenever I get to experience some nightmarish restaurants, I'll drop couple of words on it (of course, I'll make sure to candidly take into consideration the difference between 1,2 bad employees Versus the entire matrix being bad ;p ) here. Thanks for the great idea.

 

[Agrippa]

City of Montreal food inspectors

Anything that appears on this webpage http://ville.montreal.qc.ca/portal/page?_pageid=2136,2655567&_dad=portal&_schema=PORTAL (you then have to click on 'les contrevenants' to see who was fined) should probably be mentioned in this thread... the page appears to only be available in French.

 

[mack]

Other restos that Jeremy and Vinita list in this club and which could be a dangerous and sickening culinary experience (some of these may have already closed as the site is not up to date):


Dunn's

I like Dunns.

 

[Agrippa]

Had one then saved the rest for golf practice (fucken hit the 300 yard mark with these dogs bollocks...).

So I guess it's true... the more dimples the ball has, the less drag, the further it travels.

I wonder how truffles would fare.

 

[Possum Trot]

I'm amused that anyone would even consider actually eating at IKEA.

I think the list of bad restaurants is a great idea. I have had breakfast and lunch at Moe's in the Montreal airport and didn't think it was horrible. Certainly in the top 50% of airport restaurants - although I admit it's a somewhat reduced standard.

 

[Agrippa]

I'm amused that anyone would even consider actually eating at IKEA.

Obviously, no one decides, "Hey, I have an idea! Let's go to Ikea for dinner!"

You go buy furniture, and if you make a day out of it you'll be hungry eventually, so you drop by their cafeteria... shouldn't be hard to not fail, but they manage to. I'm more amused that Jeremy and Vinita gave it a good review.

 

[EagerBeaver]

IKEA/Moe's

I ate at an IKEA in Connecticut once with my parents after I had taken them shopping there at their request. We ate there strictly for convenience. The food was not good. I had the swedish meatballs and they were similar in quality to a microwaveable frozen food entree (like Swanson's or Stouffer's). If you get off on this quality of food by all means eat there. Like Agrippa, I am very surprised that Jeremy & Vinita gave them a positive review.

As far as Possum Trot's comments on Moe's, in my opinion there should be a separate category for airport and hotel restaurants which are generally serving a category of food that is substandard. J&V lumped Moe's in with other restaurants and this was probably not fair. However, I think J&V felt that Moe's, being at the airport, does not do a good job introducing the Montreal traveller to the cuisine of the city. After all, a hungry traveller who is flying in to Dorval for the first time is very likely to have their Montreal culinarity virginity taken from them at Moe's. I think J&V must have felt that there must be a better way to introduce the hungry traveller to the otherwise stellar if not spectacular cuisine of Montreal, than to subject him to Moe's.

 

[Doc Holliday]

Doc endorses Moe's

This is the first time i've ever heard any negative feedback about Moe's, which also used to have a restaurant near the Bell Center until a couple of years ago when it was replaced by Baton Rouge.

I like eating at Moe's whenever i'm at the airport. As a matter-of-fact, i was eating there yesterday. It's a much better option than most of the other 'airport restaurants i've seen. Much better in my opinion than Burger King or St-Hubert Xpress, both located at Dorval.

What do people going to Moe's expect? Queue-de-Cheval? Gibby's? Come on people!

 

[Possum Trot]

After all, a hungry traveller who is flying in to Dorval for the first time is very likely to have their Montreal culinarity virginity taken from them at Moe's. I think J&V must have felt that there must be a better way to introduce the hungry traveller to the otherwise stellar if not spectacular cuisine of Montreal, than to subject him to Moe's.

Speaking for myself only - I eat there on departure, never on arrival. The other thing I was surprised about was that there was another smoked meat place on this list - Dunns. I can't remember eating there in the last 10 years but Montreal was famous for smoked meat at one point.

 

[chef]

What do people going to Moe's expect? Queue-de-Cheval? Gibby's? Come on people!

Doc, you hit the nail on the head. Keep your expectations low and you will not be disappointed. It's the same as eating on a plane or train. Or IKEA for that matter !

 

[EagerBeaver]

Watch Out in Chinatown

By the ways, I have eaten at a few restaurants in Chinatown that qualify for the Two Strikes and You Are Out Club. Problem is, I don't remember the names of these places, and I hope to keep the names forgotten. I do remember that one of them is on St. Laurent, on the right hand side as you walk north from Viger to Rene Levesque. It was at this place that they served me some spare ribs that were actually cold. I couldn't believe it. They also did not taste good and were served with a thick coating of sauce, way more than was necessary. I ordered two or three things and they were all lousy.

I have found that outside of Beijing, Ruby Rouge and Le Maison Kam Fung, there are very few reliable Chinese restaurants in Chinatown. This is a real Buyer's Beware area, but the good news is the bad meals being served here will not rake your wallet in addition to your belly. You should get out of Dodge with less than $15 spent at most of these places,

 

[EagerBeaver]

Zestos

Zesto's is without a doubt one of the lousiest late night food joints in Montreal, a late night eatery open to 4:00 am which was, in the past, known to service escort agency personnel, including ladies, drivers, and operators. The main reason for any hobbyist to go would be to hang with fellow horndogs, and not to eat the gross food, which consists of stiff, tasteless meatball griners and other sanwiches, and steak. I had probably the worst meatball grinder I ever ate at this place. The balls were hard as a horny bull's prick and tasteless. as was the sauce.

 

[Doc Holliday]

Zesto's is without a doubt one of the lousiest late night food joints in Montreal.

I agree it's not one of Mtl's finest, but most people who go into a restaurant at that time of the night (usually after 3am) don't really care what they're eating & most of the time they've had too many to drink & are looking to stuff themselves with anything in order to call it the night.

But how many late-night food joints are there in Mtl that are still open after 3am? To be honest, i haven't found many, especially during weekdays. So what i'm trying to say is that like someone who'll go to Moe's for a bite to eat, he shouldn't expect it to be La Pizzella, Amarone, Medusa or Angus Beef. It's a grease pit, nothing else, nothing more.

 

[AllOverHer]

I agree it's not one of Mtl's finest, but most people who go into a restaurant at that time of the night (usually after 3am) don't really care what they're eating & most of the time they've had too many to drink & are looking to stuff themselves with anything in order to call it the night.

But how many late-night food joints are there in Mtl that are still open after 3am? To be honest, i haven't found many, especially during weekdays. So what i'm trying to say is that like someone who'll go to Moe's for a bite to eat, he shouldn't expect it to be La Pizzella, Amarone, Medusa or Angus Beef. It's a grease pit, nothing else, nothing more.

Doc, you're comparing apples and oranges here. Huge difference between high end restaurants and hole in the wall places indeed. When it's good I don't care if it costs me 5$ or 50$

What this thread is about is talking about any of these places with unacceptable quality of food. Where some owners are just trying to save $$$ serving you 3 days old meatballs or have no skills cooking and they still own a restaurant.

I think that we can also mention in this thread dirty restaurants.