The Sports Humor, & FUN STUFF Thread...
- Thread starter Jman47
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Hello Doc,
Might want to start spreading the jokes around a little...
Geez, you're never happy! I've been making jokes about the Leafs as much as i've been making about the Habs.
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The Boston Bruins fan's car
A Boston Bruins fan wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car: "235,000 miles."
Her friend told her that was the problem. But the BB fan's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the BB fan went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the BB fan's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The BB fan told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"
A Boston Bruins fan wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car: "235,000 miles."
Her friend told her that was the problem. But the BB fan's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the BB fan went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the BB fan's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The BB fan told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"
Bruins fan wants to buy a tv
A BB fan went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to BB fans," he replied.
She hurried home and put on a Montreal Canadiens Jersey, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to BB fans," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color(red, white, and blue), new Jersey, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to BB fans," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Boston Bruin fan?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
A BB fan went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to BB fans," he replied.
She hurried home and put on a Montreal Canadiens Jersey, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to BB fans," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color(red, white, and blue), new Jersey, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to BB fans," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Boston Bruin fan?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Q: What do you do if a Boston Bruin fan throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
The Yankees Fan
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Red Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they're also Red Sox fans.
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Red Sox fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Red Sox fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Yankees fan, and proud of it," Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why pray tell are you a Yankees fan?"
"Because my mom is a Yankees fan, and my dad is Yankees fan, so I'm a Yankees fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Yankees fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were an idiot and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?"
"Then," Janie smiled, "I'd be a Red Sox fan."
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Red Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they're also Red Sox fans.
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Red Sox fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Red Sox fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Yankees fan, and proud of it," Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why pray tell are you a Yankees fan?"
"Because my mom is a Yankees fan, and my dad is Yankees fan, so I'm a Yankees fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Yankees fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were an idiot and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?"
"Then," Janie smiled, "I'd be a Red Sox fan."
Did you hear the one about Terry Francona's lawn?
He didn't cut it all summer. He couldn't get the mower to work. Seems he didn't know how to pull the starter.
He didn't cut it all summer. He couldn't get the mower to work. Seems he didn't know how to pull the starter.
A father and son are outside Yankee Stadium, and the young son is asking his father to buy him a "Red Sox Suck" T-shirt. The father hesitates, but finally tells his son, "You can have the shirt if you promise never to say that word."
"That's right," says the T-shirt vendor, wanting to make the sale. "'Suck' isn't a very nice word."
"No," replies the father. "I meant the word 'Red Sox'."
"That's right," says the T-shirt vendor, wanting to make the sale. "'Suck' isn't a very nice word."
"No," replies the father. "I meant the word 'Red Sox'."
Four baseball fans - a Cubs fan, a Cardinals fan, a Red Sox fan, and a Yankees fan - are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Cubs fan insists he is the most loyal. "This is for the Cubs!" he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Cardinals fan shouts, "This is for the Cardinals!" and throws himself off the mountain.
The Red Sox fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for everyone!" and pushes the Yankees fan off.
The Cubs fan insists he is the most loyal. "This is for the Cubs!" he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Cardinals fan shouts, "This is for the Cardinals!" and throws himself off the mountain.
The Red Sox fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for everyone!" and pushes the Yankees fan off.
Geez, you're never happy! I've been making jokes about the Leafs as much as i've been making about the Habs.
Thanks for the line up change buddy!
Actually I was hoping for some Patriots humor...lol...
Just kidding...we don't want to get Merlot all cranked up. I am looking for something Cowboyish with a waitress theme to honor the SuperBowl hostesses...
The Texas State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Dallas. For the first offense, they give you 2 Dallas Cowboy tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
Glad to see Jerry will be livin' it up as his well paid team serves up the drinks...LOL.
Glad to see Jerry will be livin' it up as his well paid team serves up the drinks...LOL.
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