To review or not to review? Good or bad.

[EagerBeaver]

I do not review my negative encounters either. But I had 3 positive encounters last trip and only really put up a review on one.

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

I do not review my negative encounters either. But I had 3 positive encounters last trip and only really put up a review on one.

I only give a negative review when a girl clearly doesn't do her job. If we don't click, I don't punish her by writing her up. Actually the last time I wrote a negative review was some three years ago only to have it rain holy-hell down on me, thoroughly defeating the whole purpose of this board. If guys can't write the good as well as the bad for fear of this kind of badgering, the board might just as well close down for all the use it would be.

 

[Doc Holliday]

I do not review my negative encounters either.

Why not???

p.s. Guys who don't review their negative encounters are usually the ones more pissed off at others who've had similar negative encounters with a girl, yet never posted about it. This board would be totally useless if it would contain only positive reviews since it groups up the credible reviews with the shilled ones.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Because I feel it could disproportionately harm a girl. I do not claim to be a great reviewer and my tastes are, in my own opinion, different than most of the people on the board. I tend to like pretty and wholesome girls with no tats and am willing to accept less in service in exchange for better looks. People would discard those tastes in favor of my seniority, attach more significance to any negative review that I write than it really deserves, and it could disproportionately harm the girl. I do not believe any lady I negatively review would deserve that.

There was a lady who worked at Eleganza for a few years that I really did not like from the looks standpoint. However, I thought she was a really nice person, and some other members (notably Sapman, as I recall) glowingly reviewed her. I did not agree with those reviews, but I felt voicing that disagreement would harm the girl. And I liked her as a person, if not as an escort.

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

For me the question is, did she perform her task to the best of her ability or did she not. If there are extenuating circumstances, i.e. we didn't click, she wasn't to my taste, and the like, I won't write a negative review. If she avoided contact, spent excessive time in the washroom, came to work on a day when she should not have (for any reason: ill, out of sorts, on period), I'll write about it. This is not a shill board, and should it turn in to one, it will become useless.

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

This seems to be a topic on another thread.
I usually only post on a TOFTT or if I had a different experience than the other posters, very seldom do I add to a post of 20+ people and say " I had a good time also ".
I posted a negative review to a thread due to one of the worst Bj's of my life and no one else mentioned the same experience until months later. People should know that it is just 1 persons opinion and if the SP/MP has a 80% good reviews she would be a good choice. We need the not so stellar reviews to let people know it is not guaranteed 100% you will have a great time. If there is such a SP/MP that there is no YMMV and always great service so be it but if you experience something not up to your standards or expectations let us know. If someone is always complaining no matter who they are with they are easy to spot and ignored.
So a yes for me post good and bad.

 

[Mod 8]

The original post of this thread is now post number 6. A series of posts from another thread that had gone off topic has been moved to this thread as it is a more appropriate place for them. I would like to remind the posters that if this thread had not been started, the off topic posts would have simply been deleted as they did not belong in a review thread.

M8

 

[Doc Holliday]

There are constructive ways to write a negative review. The review doesn't have to be entirely negative. First off, the positive aspects of the encounter can be listed, and then the negative side can be listed. I've had very good encounters over my lifetime, but there have been times that even though a 'date' was 80% good, some of the negatives absolutely had to be listed, for the sake of warning future 'clients' that they may or may not have the same experience i did, and quite often the negative comments were written constructively in order to help the girl improve her services or demeanor. If no one tells her about the negatives, how do we expect them to improve themselves?

A couple of months ago, i posted a review of a generally favorable encounter where the sp in question gave me a cbj. The cbj caught me off-guard, but as i wrote, i didn't mind if it made her more comfortable & it actually was a very good cbj. But i had no choice but to include this in my review since it was a very important item to mention. I later found out (both via pm and replies to my post) that the same thing had occurred to a few others, but were too shy or embarrassed to mention it previously because they thought they were the only person this had happened to.

I wound up getting the girl's side of the story & i totally understood her. I explained to her why i had mentionned this in my review, and tried to explain to her that i didn't really have a choice but to mention it. She seemed to understand my reasons & hopefully my review helped her improve her services. That's what a constructive negative review should be all about. It can be a very positive review, but at the same time an honest one since some of the negatives are also mentionned.

Maybe the problem is that too many johns care way too much about how the girls & agencies perceive them. Personally, i don't really give a crap on whether or not someone involved in the sex business likes me or not. For me, it's a business transaction and nothing more. I pay for services rendered and to have fun, not expecting anymore more. I'm not in this to have anyone like me or fall in love with me. If i'd be looking for love, i'd have no reason to see escorts. I pay for sex, sex is fun, and i seek nothing more. If i'd want a companion or find love, i'd join an online dating site.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Maybe the problem is that too many johns care way too much about how the girls & agencies perceive them.

I personally see it as a business transaction and don't care about how I am perceived, but the other end of it is I worry about doing damage to someone's business that is disproportionate to the actual experience.

I actually do not write reviews, positive or negative. The only comments I put up recently were just that, comments and not really reviews per se. About 80%-90% of the escorts and MPs I have seen in the past 3-4 years I have not commented on or reviewed. I have seen probably 10 SPs and MPs in New York City in 2012 and 2013 and the only one I reviewed was on a private blog of the MP.

 

[Merlot]

...too many johns care way too much about how the girls & agencies perceive them.

Agreed,

That's a big part of it. I know from responses to reviews and GFE polls I've made that clients don't like saying negative things about ladies because of "feelings", and another part of it is clients trying to keep ladies happy by avoiding indicating they have favorites over other ladies.

We can also see for ourselves when the same people jump in to protect the same agencies all of the time that clients are trying to curry favor with those agencies in various ways. Many might be genuinely honest and just happy with the services of those agencies. In other cases there's no doubt deals are going on. Once I was surprised myself to find out there was supposed to be an "understanding" when an agency objected to a marginal review I wrote.

I write reviews the way I feel about the lady and her participation. Very recently I wrote one review that was glowing with rapture because that's how she made it feel, while another was so-so because the lady had some very nice qualities but had areas with room for improvement. In the less glowing reviews I'm not trying to be negative, but I don't see any reason not to say where the quality might be lacking.

I love women, but this is a business and this board is meant to help other members. If guys don't want to write it's a fair choice. But playing games with reviews..c'mon.

Good luck,

Merlot

 

[UncleBob]

We can do analogy with municipal elections... Everybody should go vote but a very small proportion will actually do...

A fairly small amount of merbist are actually reviewing... It is a shame... And above that, many are reviewing just one side (the goods, or the bads...).

To answer the question To review or Not to review, for me the answer is VERY clear and obvious:
We are on a REVIEW board, please wake up and REVIEW... good, bad whatever...

Writing a Bad review is more thricky than writing a good one. You should take your time to analyse the situation.
Before writing a bad review make sure that you were not in cause in the bad session: make sure you were in the mood... You had good breath and you were clean & freshly showered, you were not late... etc...

 

[Doc Holliday]

I actually do not write reviews, positive or negative. The only comments I put up recently were just that, comments and not really reviews per se.

I have no problem with a john who prefers to keep things to himself and keeps reviews to a minimum. This is a personal choice. Some people like to entertain, brag or fool themselves, others may be totally the opposite.

But if someone who writes reviews constantly posts only the positive ones & leaves out the negative ones, or never includes some of the negatives in any of his reviews, then this is where i have a problem. If i'd contantly only post positive reviews & never mention the negatives, in my mind i'd be no different than a shill. What is to differentiate the shills from the honest reviewers if those reviewers only state the positives?

p.s. Johns should also diversify their reviews, in that girls they see from other agencies should also be reviewed, not just the girls from one or two agencies they commonly use.

 

[rumpleforeskiin]

I personally see it as a business transaction and don't care about how I am perceived, but the other end of it is I worry about doing damage to someone's business that is disproportionate to the actual experience.

Exactly. And if, in the course of business, what you receive as a customer is not that which was offered, extenuating circumstances notwithstanding, it is incumbent on you to share your experience with Consumer Reports aka merb. If you go to Gibby's, order a medium rare steak and receive one tough and well done, will you not report it on Yelp? Do you worry about doing damage to Gibby's business?

If i'd contantly only post positive reviews & never mention the negatives, in my mind i'd be no different than a shill. What is to differentiate the shills from the honest reviewers if those reviewers only state the positives?

Precisely! And not only that, but by posting nothing but thinly veiled shill reviews, they do damage to the credibility of the board as a whole

Johns should also diversify their reviews, in that girls they see from other agencies should also be reviewed, not just the girls from one or two agencies they commonly use.

Does this include johns who see their role on the board as one particular agency's public relations arm?

 

[rollingstone]

I had lots of negative experiences in Montreal I never wrote about. The problem is that I had started hobbying and was not clear on many issues. When a woman showed and up and her looks and attitude did not get my engine going, she was working on her period, or I felt that she didn't want to be there and was just going through the motions, I would think about writing a review. But then I would see that plenty of other people had no problems with her, so I would think the problem had to be me. I now know thats not true.

The second issue is one where the SP shows up and she is clearly not prepared for the session. Her breath smells of garlic chicken, hasn't shaved her legs, has that awful smell coming from her privates...etc. In these instances I should have definitely written a review and warned people. I did respond to 411's in PMs to warn people. In one instance the SP was very well liked I and it was literally my first trip to montreal so I felt intimidated. In another, the girl was working when she had a yeast infection (or something similar), and the operator of the HDH agency called me and begged me not to review the session and offered to compensate me with time with a different girl. This was not a 'bribe' at least in my opinion because the SP had walked out with the full donation (3 hours) despite spending spending only 1 hour (I asked her to leave). But in fact I never called or dealt with that agency again, never got any time with a different girl. It was just the agency owner/operator begging me not to write anything.

The third category is one where there is a very popular girl that you meet, and you do get the service, but she is not as awesome as people make her out to be. Her skin is not as soft as I would like, she has very light fuzz of hair on her body... just little things that reflect she does not have the same prep time as an HDH. Sometimes there are just intangibles that make a session not great and when you think about writing a review you invariably think about how you are going to defend it if challenged, and then you end up not writing it.

 

[EagerBeaver]

If you go to Gibby's, order a medium rare steak and receive one tough and well done, will you not report it on Yelp? Do you worry about doing damage to Gibby's business?

A totally inappropriate analogy. Gibby's or Starbuck's or Bell are faceless corporations, whom I have no trouble harming with online reviews, and no problem hammering if they give me shitty service. Although my transactions with escorts are also business transactions and I get that it is over when they leave my room, escorts are women, and women are people, just like me. They have faces and voices and feelings. I think about the fact that they are not working as escorts because they enjoy having sex with strange older men, but because they need money, whether it is for rent, for children whose father is absent or a deadbeat, for school, maybe for drugs or shopping or clubbing. And so fundamentally they are doing a job that they do not like and will do for only a short period of their lives, because their looks will fade over the course of time, or they will just move on before that happens. And basically I have a sense of empathy for the women who do this that I have never been able to separate from the business transaction itself. Which probably makes me a better client to the escort than I am a fellow hobbyist to the rest of the guys and board members. But I don't care about that because that is who I am as a person. It has sort of developed over time but that is how I feel and that is why I don't really write reviews any more. I don't expect anyone else to do the same and I realize my point of view is somewhat unhelpful, but it is what it is. There is not anything I can do about it.

 

[rollingstone]

For what its worth EB I have never tried a girl you praised and not had an amazing experience. So I wouldn't say you're unhelpful.

Mitsou: the ability to correspond and set expectations is the reason many people turn to independent operators.

 

[Mod 8]

A few posts have been removed and a few others edited. Let's keep the comments to your own reasons for reviewing or not and deal with the general idea of reviewing without attacking or taking shots at others for their own choices in the matter.

Thanks.

M8

 

[Red Paul]

And basically I have a sense of empathy for the women who do this that I have never been able to separate from the business transaction itself. Which probably makes me a better client to the escort than I am a fellow hobbyist to the rest of the guys and board members.

That's well said and I feel much the same way.

... that is why I don't really write reviews any more.

It's possible to write reviews that are respectful, that give needed information without spilling a girl's secrets. I don't go in for the acronyms, one reason being that I don't care about the activities they stand for. But I try to get across an idea of a girl's personality and of how a man should act with her if he wants a good time to be had by all.

I also say whether the agency's description and photos are accurate, and how she seems to feel about her work. Customers deserve info of this sort. I look for it on Merb and I try to provide some too.

I don't expect anyone else to do the same and I realize my point of view is somewhat unhelpful, but it is what it is.

Fair enough, but don't complain if you think a review by somebody else isn't helpful enough.

 

[tiannas]

And so fundamentally they are doing a job that they do not like and will do for only a short period of their lives, because their looks will fade over the course of time, or they will just move on before that happens. And basically I have a sense of empathy for the women who do this that I have never been able to separate from the business transaction itself. Which probably makes me a better client to the escort than I am a fellow hobbyist to the rest of the guys and board members. But I don't care about that because that is who I am as a person.

Bravo! EB, can I give you a big hug?

I do have to object to the assumption that all SPs do not like their jobs however, personally I happen to enjoy this work. Not all meetings of course, but I have more positive than negative. I like to meet new gentlemen, to share conversation and intimacy, and most of all I enjoy the feeling that I have provided a special experience for someone.

I don't mind reviews at all, but I have only had good ones so far, lol! (Of course I am still pretty new to the business.) Not all of my dates have been extraordinary, sometimes there just isn't that connection between two people, but I always bring my best attitude with me and I would like to think that I have given each client good value for their money. I have carefully read the reviews I have received and have learned what aspects of my service are most pleasing to clients; it's given me some insight into how they are viewing our experience, which I find both interesting and helpful. Additionally I have had clients specifically tell me they chose to see me because of a certain review, which helps to give me insight into their likes and desires.

A very small percentage of clients actually do review their experiences. I've talked to some of them about this, and the reasons vary, some are simply too shy, some see the experience as too personal, some just can't be bothered. But the most troubling reason I've heard for not reviewing here at merb is the perceived attitude of other board members, especially toward new non-established members. They do not want to write positive reviews for fear of their intentions being questioned, being called a shill, etc. This because they have seen this happen to others or it has happened to them personally. This I find unfortunate. I understand the importance of keeping it real, so to speak, but this should also be a forum where all members feel comfortable to speak freely. I'm not sure how to achieve that balance.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Fair enough, but don't complain if you think a review by somebody else isn't helpful enough.

I am going to disagree with you on this because if someone undertakes to write a review, do the job right or don't do it at all. This is the philosophy I live by and have the right to expect others to live by. I will complain if it is not done correctly. If information is left out on whether a lady has tattoos or can't speak English, for example. The comment that I made on Jenna ex-Asservissante that she was darker than her pics was something that was not in the original poster's review, but something I thought would be helpful.