View Poll Results: Would You Have a Serious Relationship With a Single Mom?

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  • Yes

    44 65.67%
  • No way

    11 16.42%
  • Not sure

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Thread: Single Moms?

  1. #1

    Single Moms?

    There are so many single moms out there that it's brutal. Of course, some of them are quite hot but there are certain issues with chicks with kids. So would you be willing to have a serious relationship with a single mom? For me, the answer is no, but that's just me.

  2. #2

    Issues!

    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticSpirit
    There are so many single moms out there that it's brutal. Of course, some of them are quite hot but there are certain issues with chicks with kids. So would you be willing to have a serious relationship with a single mom? For me, the answer is no, but that's just me.
    I would now that I have my own. But perhaps it is more about the male desire to pass on a heritage in his children, to pass on his own genes, if you like.
    Another consideration is the awkward position you are put in in terms of validation within the family unit. They will always be her children and she will always have the ultimate say in matters of discipline. Try to discipline her children and "Prepare to repel boarders!" This can turn a household into a living hell if discipline on her part is somewhat less than effective. Or the unfortunate fellow is outnumbered. He is expected to pay half though. Often these kinds of relationships don't really have legs.
    It becomes a different matter if one of your own comes along. But then you often have two family units within the household.
    Oddly enough I have seen where the children from the previous sperm donor are sometimes put somewhat
    on the outside by a mother wishing to ensure her place with her new found mate.
    These relationships can and do work but it takes a pretty amazingly tolerant fellow who can tread the narrow path.
    Last edited by Regular Guy; 12-30-2008 at 09:57 AM.
    Confucius say: Man who take woman into house on side of hill - not on level.

  3. #3
    Wine, women, & song ... ck_nj's Avatar
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    I would, but I would be more comfortable if the children were older (like teenagers or young adults). But I like my women older, so that's just me.
    One thing you have to know if you decide to pursue a single mom though, is remember to never make her decide between you and the kids. Bad (and stupid) move. As long as you know (and understand) that you will be 2nd, and have no problem with that, go for it.
    Last edited by ck_nj; 12-31-2008 at 01:58 AM.
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  4. #4
    my ding-a-ling you kill me lol

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by My_dingaling
    My answer is maybe.
    Is she hot? Does she stop talking on demand? Does she swallow? Does she shovel snow and mow grass? Does she fancy three-somes?
    Let's assume a single mom is hot and she does all you wish for, except she might have her kids in the next room who could interrupt anytime because they can't sleep, or she's got to go early because of her kids' school schedule, or her kids are spoiled rotten, etc. You get the idea?

  6. #6
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    One BIG problem.

    Hello all,

    I voted yes.

    I asked one woman, how did your kids turn out so well? My husband and I supported each other in all decisions regarding them.

    I know another woman with kids who was in love with this guy. Her kids were middle and older teenagers then who gave their mother a very hard time. The guy gave advice on how things should be handled, basically not giving in so much. The couple argued about the kids often. Then one day the woman told her guy to mind his own business, she would decide how to handle the kids and he should stay out of it. Since the couple was living together, and had some thought of getting married, this meant the guy was supposed to sit back and endure all the arguments and issues between the kids and the mother while keeping his mouth shut. They broke up.

    For me, if you date a woman with kids and it becomes serious, then being a couple means equal say in all matters since decisions regarding the kid(s) clearly affects the lives of all equally regardless of the paternity of the kids. If both adults are supporting the household and the kids, then both have a say in everything. If either the man or the woman has kids and wants someone to be in their life and take on responsibilities then that means sharing all in their lives and responsibilities too...regardless of maternal or paternal feelings of responsibility, rights, or territoriality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dee
    I was in a relationship for a long time with a lady who had kids. I feared living with her because of the kids (one was still at home) but that aspect worked just fine. I was surprised. Only one dispute the whole time.

    I worked on the theory that her kids were first in her life and it wasn't my business to direct them. Even though I've been given the boot by the mom one of the kids still seeks me out for some help from time to time... I feel very close to him.
    Hello Dee,

    Is the view that it was none of your business because all was fine between her and the kids? What if there had been the common battles and it affected your life harshly. I am not saying anyone should usurp the mother's right to teach her children her beliefs and values. But when there is frequent battling isn't that inevitably your business. Or do you just leave her to endure it all alone while you live there. That doesn't sound like a couple to me. And hopefully two people are together because they have common view and values..not just sexual excitement...unless one is just using her for sex and there is no serious relationship. Or do I define "relationship" too "completely"?????

    Cheers,

    Merlot
    Last edited by Merlot; 12-31-2008 at 03:27 PM.

  7. #7
    I was in a relationship for a long time with a lady who had kids. I feared living with her because of the kids (one was still at home) but that aspect worked just fine. I was surprised. Only one dispute the whole time.

    I worked on the theory that her kids were first in her life and it wasn't my business to direct them. Even though I've been given the boot by the mom one of the kids still seeks me out for some help from time to time... I feel very close to him.

  8. #8

    what if the guy had kids

    hi all
    what if the guys have kids?
    would you girl have a meaning relationship with him?
    whitesoxs

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Merlot



    Hello Dee,

    Is the view that it was none of your business because all was fine between her and the kids? What if there had been the common battles and it affected your life harshly. I am not saying anyone should usurp the mother's right to teach her children her beliefs and values. But when there is frequent battling isn't that inevitably your business. Or do you just leave her to endure it all alone while you live there. That doesn't sound like a couple to me. And hopefully two people are together because they have common view and values..not just sexual excitement...unless one is just using her for sex and there is no serious relationship. Or do I define "relationship" too "completely"?????

    Cheers,

    Merlot
    A fair question. I was lucky as generally all was fine between her and her kids. Her kids respected her. The one at home was an easy going guy. About the hardest time to "stay out of it" was when I knew he was putting something over on her. He was a very bright guy but lazy and in the end it cost him academically (although he seems to be on track now).

  10. #10
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    I would date a single mom. Sure, there are children involved, but so what, if you really care about someone it shouldn't matter.

  11. #11
    not that simple remember you will always have to share her love with her kid or kids.She will always love her kids in a way you will not understand because they are not from you.........a bond that cannot be broken......

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by whitesoxs
    hi all
    what if the guys have kids?
    would you girl have a meaning relationship with him?
    whitesoxs
    Quote Originally Posted by oralover
    not that simple remember you will always have to share her love with her kid or kids.She will always love her kids in a way you will not understand because they are not from you.........a bond that cannot be broken......
    Sure, why not have a meaningful relationship with someone who already has children?
    Love is something that multiplies when shared. It is not as if a person has only so much love in them and if they have children there is less left for you.

    Ronnie,
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    They will forget what you said,
    they will forget what you did,
    but they will never forget the way you made them feel.

  13. #13

    If you date the Mom, you date the kid.

    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticSpirit
    There are so many single moms out there that it's brutal. Of course, some of them are quite hot but there are certain issues with chicks with kids. So would you be willing to have a serious relationship with a single mom? For me, the answer is no, but that's just me.
    Maybe.

    But in my experience, if you date the Mom, you date the kid. They generally comes as a package.

    Worse, if you do that, you are by definition walking into a failed situation.

    I am not saying no. But the prognosis on this sort of thing is not good.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by oralover
    not that simple remember you will always have to share her love with her kid or kids.She will always love her kids in a way you will not understand because they are not from you.........a bond that cannot be broken......
    It is as simple or as complicated as you want to make it. If you do your best to keep it simple, it won't get complicated.

  15. #15
    I've dated a single mom. The kid wasn't at all a problem, in fact I liked her kid a lot and her kid made me like her more, but there were other problems. I guess if it got more serious, the influence of the kid's father might have been a complicating factor. I never met him, but you have to consider that the other guy is always going to be a factor and possibly and option for her.

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