When I fall, I fall hard and my heart can be hurt too easily. And after being hurt so much in life. I was dead set against falling in love again.
It took my kids pushing me that I deserved love, and self work to see men as more than just toys to play with (viewing men the way misogynistic men view women, after a long time of being a single mom), and a relationship where he had to fight with me to break down barriers to try and show me love was worth taking a gamble on.
Unfortunately I needed what I have with my master now, and that relationship with that ex wasn't it. When I had to shut down my ability to enjoy kink for that relationship, it shut down my desire in life all together.
My master tends to focus more on rebuilding my mental health, and attempts to get me back to when I was able to enjoy life, while ensuring I have the best of both worlds, fun while working, and I get my kink and love with him. And my submissive heart is protected by him.