Ask us anything part 3

[Lunaseraphim]

I literally had that thought yesterday and was thinking to ask here:
Because of your experience as an SP, you have learnt lot of skills, techniques. Meaning that in your personal relationship the person could benefit of all of that.

But will it be something that you'll re-use? Or is it like something that actually is "required" for work but not, maybe, enjoyable for yourself?

A lot of the skills I've learned as a SP were relational and business skills than anything else. But the relational skills helped me understand human psychology a lot. There are things I used to tolerate in my personal life that I don't anymore and probably never will again. I know this isn't the answer anybody wants to hear.

Of course I've had practice with certain things but I think my skills were good to begin with because I'm an intuitive lover. However I realized that really often in my past experiences in my civ life, it felt like "work" to have sex. It's not necessarily a bad thing because I like to please, but in a lot of situations I became submissive by default, or I just did what the person wanted me to, or what I thought they wanted.

Exploring my dominant side as a sex worker has been really healing and positive for me. Learning BDSM techniques and concepts. Being more assertive and learning to say no have been extremely important in my journey.

2 of the people I dated while being an escort never made me feel like I was working because we had so much romantic chemistry and there was an inherent trust in how we approached each other physically. The contrast was mind blowing to me and it made me realize that it's a dynamic and a story between 2 people that expresses itself physically, that I enjoy, rather than specific acts. I've always known this but I struggled to put it into words and I didn't have all of the tools I have now to explore complex romantic/sexual dynamics with somebody. Now I do.

I know this sounds very abstract but I think a few people may understand this.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Oh and before anybody asks, yes I have experienced this with a few clients, sexually. It wasn't romantic but there was joy and playfulness in how we approached each other.

 

[LeDodo]

A lot of the skills I've learned as a SP were relational and business skills than anything else. But the relational skills helped me understand human psychology a lot. There are things I used to tolerate in my personal life that I don't anymore and probably never will again. I know this isn't the answer anybody wants to hear.

Of course I've had practice with certain things but I think my skills were good to begin with because I'm an intuitive lover. However I realized that really often in my past experiences in my civ life, it felt like "work" to have sex. It's not necessarily a bad thing because I like to please, but in a lot of situations I became submissive by default, or I just did what the person wanted me to, or what I thought they wanted.

Exploring my dominant side as a sex worker has been really healing and positive for me. Learning BDSM techniques and concepts. Being more assertive and learning to say no have been extremely important in my journey.

2 of the people I dated while being an escort never made me feel like I was working because we had so much romantic chemistry and there was an inherent trust in how we approached each other physically. The contrast was mind blowing to me and it made me realize that it's a dynamic and a story between 2 people that expresses itself physically, that I enjoy, rather than specific acts. I've always known this but I struggled to put it into words and I didn't have all of the tools I have now to explore complex romantic/sexual dynamics with somebody. Now I do.

I know this sounds very abstract but I think a few people may understand this.

It is clear

I had that thought because clients tend to idealize the acts during intimacy after frequenting escorts. Obviously it will be a sharp contrast (or let down) with civvie life because it's still 2 individual interacting and not a service provided.

I was curious about the mindset from a SP perspective as she might just become a regular individual and not applying the SP "rundown".

 

[Lunaseraphim]

It is clear

I had that thought because clients tend to idealize the acts during intimacy after frequenting escorts. Obviously it will be a sharp contrast (or let down) with civvie life because it's still 2 individual interacting and not a service provided.

I was curious about the mindset from a SP perspective as she might just become a regular individual and not applying the SP "rundown".

I think it's unfortunate that a lot of people are so focused on specific acts rather than going with the flow and exploring what might happen. Obviously, clients are paying for a specific type of experience, and I understand that. However I don't know if our role as SP is to be acronym dispensers.

Intimacy isn't always linear "in real life". Just being naked with someone and cuddling while watching a movie and drinking wine can feel really intimate, even if there are only a few moments that are more sexual.

But this vibe isn't easily replicated with someone who is your client.. particularly when there's a pressure for the booking to happen a certain way.

 

[LeDodo]

But this vibe isn't easily replicated with someone who is your client.. particularly when there's a pressure for the booking to happen a certain way.

And within a very short timeframe...

 

[Lunaseraphim]

And within a very short timeframe...

I think it's complicated. You can't manufacture that energy between two people even if you get along very well. That's why I always smile a bit when clients talk about chemistry in reviews.

I'm not saying chemistry doesn't ever exist between clients and providers. I also think some people really mesh well and some don't. But I think that some clients confuse getting along with a provider + getting the service they wanted with genuine chemistry.

 

[DouMan]

A lot of the skills I've learned as a SP were relational and business skills than anything else. But the relational skills helped me understand human psychology a lot. There are things I used to tolerate in my personal life that I don't anymore and probably never will again. I know this isn't the answer anybody wants to hear.

Of course I've had practice with certain things but I think my skills were good to begin with because I'm an intuitive lover. However I realized that really often in my past experiences in my civ life, it felt like "work" to have sex. It's not necessarily a bad thing because I like to please, but in a lot of situations I became submissive by default, or I just did what the person wanted me to, or what I thought they wanted.

Exploring my dominant side as a sex worker has been really healing and positive for me. Learning BDSM techniques and concepts. Being more assertive and learning to say no have been extremely important in my journey.

2 of the people I dated while being an escort never made me feel like I was working because we had so much romantic chemistry and there was an inherent trust in how we approached each other physically. The contrast was mind blowing to me and it made me realize that it's a dynamic and a story between 2 people that expresses itself physically, that I enjoy, rather than specific acts. I've always known this but I struggled to put it into words and I didn't have all of the tools I have now to explore complex romantic/sexual dynamics with somebody. Now I do.

I know this sounds very abstract but I think a few people may understand this.

Your words are far from being abstract, all the opposite.
They are extremely wise and even touching.
Your post could easily be a "sticky" for many of us.
Je vous lève mon chapeau @Lunaseraphim