Ask us anything part 3

[Lunaseraphim]

Some of my thoughts on the expression ''natural beauty''.. I'm not a man but I've often had men tell me I look ''natural'' and it made me smile.. even before I got lip filler. It's not just things like fillers, implants, bbls and fake nails that are ''not natural''. Most women in this industry and in other beauty focused businesses enhance their looks in different ways and people don't notice. Even filler can be barely noticeable or not at all, specially if you haven't seen the person before she got them. Hair dye, hair extentions, fake hair, hair straightening and curling are all fake. A lot of people get lash lifts, chemical peels, microneedling, body contouring treatments, laser resurfacing etc to look more youthful and although it doesn't look ''flashy'' it's still not natural... Usually I've noticed that when men say ''she has natural beauty'' they just mean she doesn't have obvious and exaggerated enhancements and doesn't wear dramatic makeup. Here's another question.. no one has to answer it. Is someone who works out so much and eats in such a restrictive way that they have drastically changed their body shape ''natural''?

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Question for you ladies, what do we think of those kind of tools?

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These look like they might be from amazon and not super solid. I don't know if the question means : ''would I let someone use these on me''.. I would never let a client put me in a restricted position like this, even if I trusted him.. It's just not part of my service. Would I use similar tools on a client if he wanted me to? probably, but chances are I would use a different kind of restraints..

 

[Rebaynia]

Question for you ladies, what do we think of those kind of tools?

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Tools I would love to play with, with my Master, or use on a client. But I do not trust clients enough to allow myself to be in such a vulnerable position with them. Only in the presence of my Master would I allow being bound like this as my protection becomes his responsibility.

My hands and feet may not be bound, so I can always fight back if I need to for my protection.

 

[Johnny test]

These look like they might be from amazon and not super solid. I don't know if the question means : ''would I let someone use these on me''.. I would never let a client put me in a restricted position like this, even if I trusted him.. It's just not part of my service. Would I use similar tools on a client if he wanted me to? probably, but chances are I would use a different kind of restraints..

Thanks for the very clear answer, and no, they're not from Amazon.
I voluntarily stay vague in my questions to have different kind of reactions

 

[Johnny test]

Tools I would love to play with, with my Master, or use on a client. But I do not trust clients enough to allow myself to be in such a vulnerable position with them. Only in the presence of my Master would I allow being bound like this as my protection becomes his responsibility.

My hands and feet may not be bound, so I can always fight back if I need to for my protection.

Thanks for the answer, i would have thought that when you have a "regular" or someone you know well enough to trust, using those on you would be an option.

 

[Johnny test]

Some of my thoughts on the expression ''natural beauty''.. I'm not a man but I've often had men tell me I look ''natural'' and it made me smile.. even before I got lip filler. It's not just things like fillers, implants, bbls and fake nails that are ''not natural''. Most women in this industry and in other beauty focused businesses enhance their looks in different ways and people don't notice. Even filler can be barely noticeable or not at all, specially if you haven't seen the person before she got them. Hair dye, hair extentions, fake hair, hair straightening and curling are all fake. A lot of people get lash lifts, chemical peels, microneedling, body contouring treatments, laser resurfacing etc to look more youthful and although it doesn't look ''flashy'' it's still not natural... Usually I've noticed that when men say ''she has natural beauty'' they just mean she doesn't have obvious and exaggerated enhancements and doesn't wear dramatic makeup. Here's another question.. no one has to answer it. Is someone who works out so much and eats in such a restrictive way that they have drastically changed their body shape ''natural''?

Completely agree, that's what i meant in my previous answer, there's no really such thing as "natural" (forgot about the nails in my list ), i rarely meant a woman who didn't wear any makeup, the fact that we don't notice it doesn't mean it's not here.

 

[Rebaynia]

Thanks for the answer, i would have thought that when you have a "regular" or someone you know well enough to trust, using those on you would be an option.

I have seen full blown relationships with men I have trusted go volatile in the end.

You never truly know someone unless you live with them, and are around them on a daily basis. Anyone can pretend to be on their best behavior for an hour or so in a day. You only find out someone's darker intentions once you let them feel comfortable enough to show it, and a client isn't going to have me in that position.

Not to mention, yes some clients show you you can trust them. But there are many more who serve as a warning to be careful about who you trust. Sometimes you learn only after you trusted them, you shouldn't have, and I prefer to be guarded, and not go threw the lesson of finding out after the fact for this one.

 

[Craic.n.banter]

Why might a SP side-step an up-front conversation about boundaries/wants/willings?
---And how could I follow-up so as have to have greater clarity (without being pushy)?

I like clear, direct communication b/c there’s a wide spectrum of activities I like and I’m asking to find out:
*what they’re genuinely into (i.e. Giving & Allowing (for them)),
*what they’re happily willing to do (i.e. taking & receiving (for me)), and
*what their objective-boundaries are.
And thinking out loud here...
I get that there’s a lot of nuance and subjectivity to most of sex and I happily engage in (hot) ongoing check-in’s (like “How light, how hard, how long, etc.,”), but that sometimes follows knowing whether they’re even objectively interested in going into that general area.
I’ve gotten different responses like “You’ll know.” and “I’ll tell you.” and I’ve tried following up by sharing & asking them about specific activities that I’m into. This issue is also why I favor regular-tionships. A lot of this takes time and space to work through.
(The first genuine “negotiation” I had was with the Montreal Unicorn Healers, but this isn’t just about kink. It’s about the vanilla-variations as well.)
I can think of a few reasons why they might want not to have that conversation (e.g. vibe-management, shyness, awkwardness, inexperience, personal preference, flow-preference (i.e. "those conversations take one out of the moment/focus”), etc.,). I wonder if you all could share other motivations that might be playing out?

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Thanks for the answer, i would have thought that when you have a "regular" or someone you know well enough to trust, using those on you would be an option.

Its not that I don't trust my regulars overall, I just don't trust them to understand these types of dynamics well enough. When I entered this industry I had a lot of clients who assumed I was a sub because I was still shy and intimidated, and the way they approached it was really not consensual and their lack of knowledge showed.

It's the same thing with some people I've been in relationships with in the past who would try to dominate me without my consent or who wanted to try BDSM but had no idea what they were doing. A lot of men call themselves dominants which is fine but they don't do enough research and work on themselves to provide a pleasant experience. Also even if someone is a regular client, he's still not someone I'm close to or at least not necessarily. Anything could happen like Rebaynia said..

 

[Rebaynia]

Why might a SP side-step an up-front conversation about boundaries/wants/willings?
---And how could I follow-up so as have to have greater clarity (without being pushy)?

I like clear, direct communication b/c there’s a wide spectrum of activities I like and I’m asking to find out:
*what they’re genuinely into (i.e. Giving & Allowing (for them)),
*what they’re happily willing to do (i.e. taking & receiving (for me)), and
*what their objective-boundaries are.
And thinking out loud here...
I get that there’s a lot of nuance and subjectivity to most of sex and I happily engage in (hot) ongoing check-in’s (like “How light, how hard, how long, etc.,”), but that sometimes follows knowing whether they’re even objectively interested in going into that general area.
I’ve gotten different responses like “You’ll know.” and “I’ll tell you.” and I’ve tried following up by sharing & asking them about specific activities that I’m into. This issue is also why I favor regular-tionships. A lot of this takes time and space to work through.
(The first genuine “negotiation” I had was with the Montreal Unicorn Healers, but this isn’t just about kink. It’s about the vanilla-variations as well.)
I can think of a few reasons why they might want not to have that conversation (e.g. vibe-management, shyness, awkwardness, inexperience, personal preference, flow-preference (i.e. "those conversations take one out of the moment/focus”), etc.,). I wonder if you all could share other motivations that might be playing out?

For starters, it seems like your questions might also play along the line of questioning, that we can picture the person on the other end looking to just jack off to the mental image of the visit he is trying to plan, and question if it is a timewaister just looking to get off on this comunication, or does this person actually have intentions to book an appointment.

That's the first thought.

Second is, visits entirely planned out before we even meet in person, is trying to fulfill a pre-established expectation to live up to, rather than to just expierience the moment. We don't want to fill a role.

There is a matter of fact ways to discuss these things, but many providers find all these questions too time-consuming, for what might likely lead to no visit. It's 1 thing if the providers seen you before, and knows you are serious in your questions for followup appointments. But for a first timer... There are a lot of people who will reach out ask many questions and never follow threw, you might be redflagging yourself before the initial visit ever happens.

We don't want to lay every one of our cards on the table. People who ask us so much about our boundaries, is often looking to push them. It raises distrust right away when what someone wants to know is the no's, rather than asking for what the yes's are.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Why might a SP side-step an up-front conversation about boundaries/wants/willings?
---And how could I follow-up so as have to have greater clarity (without being pushy)?

I like clear, direct communication b/c there’s a wide spectrum of activities I like and I’m asking to find out:
*what they’re genuinely into (i.e. Giving & Allowing (for them)),
*what they’re happily willing to do (i.e. taking & receiving (for me)), and
*what their objective-boundaries are.
And thinking out loud here...
I get that there’s a lot of nuance and subjectivity to most of sex and I happily engage in (hot) ongoing check-in’s (like “How light, how hard, how long, etc.,”), but that sometimes follows knowing whether they’re even objectively interested in going into that general area.
I’ve gotten different responses like “You’ll know.” and “I’ll tell you.” and I’ve tried following up by sharing & asking them about specific activities that I’m into. This issue is also why I favor regular-tionships. A lot of this takes time and space to work through.
(The first genuine “negotiation” I had was with the Montreal Unicorn Healers, but this isn’t just about kink. It’s about the vanilla-variations as well.)
I can think of a few reasons why they might want not to have that conversation (e.g. vibe-management, shyness, awkwardness, inexperience, personal preference, flow-preference (i.e. "those conversations take one out of the moment/focus”), etc.,). I wonder if you all could share other motivations that might be playing out?

I like direct and clear communication during the booking process as well but really often when clients ask too many questions that feel unnecessary it feels like they are wasting our time and trying to sext for free.

Personally I feel like if you know what services a SP provides, it's unnecessary to ask these types of questions unless we're talking about kink.. and even then I feel like it's better to discuss these details in person at the beginning of the booking.

This is just me but I don't like being asked questions like "what is a booking with you like" because I prefer if the client sees for himself.. having a very long discussion about the booking often makes me feel like the client will be finicky .. more questions and more comments just feel like an excuse to keep talking to me. And in my experience when I set a boundary with a client like this they get mad and cancel.

I prefer if a client is clear about his expectations. If it doesn't match what I'm comfortable offering, I will let him know. When I've made exceptions for clients like crossing a personal boundary or offering a service I no longer offer I've almost always regretted it.. it's often been a bad experience. Same thing when I follow through with a client who asked too many questions and seemed skeptical or pushy ...

 

[Darcy]

Clients : why would anyone think it's a good idea to tell a SP, "I just had a booking with xyz so I'll take your cheapest service that you don't offer anymore because I can't afford your full GFE rate"?

That's what the "end call" button on our cell phones are for. lol Some people just don't have a whole lot of tact.

 

[Johnny test]

Its not that I don't trust my regulars overall, I just don't trust them to understand these types of dynamics well enough. When I entered this industry I had a lot of clients who assumed I was a sub because I was still shy and intimidated, and the way they approached it was really not consensual and their lack of knowledge showed.

It's the same thing with some people I've been in relationships with in the past who would try to dominate me without my consent or who wanted to try BDSM but had no idea what they were doing. A lot of men call themselves dominants which is fine but they don't do enough research and work on themselves to provide a pleasant experience. Also even if someone is a regular client, he's still not someone I'm close to or at least not necessarily. Anything could happen like Rebaynia said..

I don't want to argue semantics (well a bit ) but yes, it is an issue of trust. I completely understand that point since the level of danger you face is much higher than ours.

 

[Johnny test]

Montreal Unicorn Healers

We need another agency like Unicorn in Montreal, best experiences i had were at Unicorn

 

[Johnny test]

I like direct and clear communication during the booking process as well but really often when clients ask too many questions that feel unnecessary it feels like they are wasting our time and trying to sext for free.

Personally I feel like if you know what services a SP provides, it's unnecessary to ask these types of questions unless we're talking about kink.. and even then I feel like it's better to discuss these details in person at the beginning of the booking.

This is just me but I don't like being asked questions like "what is a booking with you like" because I prefer if the client sees for himself.. having a very long discussion about the booking often makes me feel like the client will be finicky .. more questions and more comments just feel like an excuse to keep talking to me. And in my experience when I set a boundary with a client like this they get mad and cancel.

I prefer if a client is clear about his expectations. If it doesn't match what I'm comfortable offering, I will let him know. When I've made exceptions for clients like crossing a personal boundary or offering a service I no longer offer I've almost always regretted it.. it's often been a bad experience. Same thing when I follow through with a client who asked too many questions and seemed skeptical or pushy ...

Usually first date(s) (for me) is/are very vanilla cause it helps building trust and know each other.
If i'm looking for something a bit different and i usually am, i will be opening a discussion at the end of a date probably.
I do enjoy direct communication, usually through bluesky before a date to exchange ideas, general directions (i don't like detailed scenarios, they usually never work outside of my head) and set everyone's expectations.

For many reasons I tend to follow that sequence as much as i can.

 

[Rebaynia]

I don't want to argue semantics (well a bit ) but yes, it is an issue of trust. I completely understand that point since the level of danger you face is much higher than ours.

Women have been killed doing this job, and to some, that isn't even the worst case senario, though it is an ultimate fear, as what you can live threw, you will carry with you for the rest of your life.

Yes it is a really stupid thing, and a calculated risk for those who do it, to let your guard down entirely and trust a client with your body and life because you allow yourself to be put in a position you can't protect yourself from.

Trust of that sort should never be freely given to someone you aren't 100% sure of, and I can't trust someone I spend an hour once in a while with. It only takes 1 time for things to fuck you up for the rest of your life.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Usually first date(s) (for me) is/are very vanilla cause it helps building trust and know each other.
If i'm looking for something a bit different and i usually am, i will be opening a discussion at the end of a date probably.
I do enjoy direct communication, usually through bluesky before a date to exchange ideas, general directions (i don't like detailed scenarios, they usually never work outside of my head) and set everyone's expectations.

For many reasons I tend to follow that sequence as much as i can.

I think it's a good idea to have a first date to test the waters. It's really hard to figure out what kind of dynamic you'll have with someone over text or DMs before meeting them. Sometimes I'll be more open to a certain idea when I understand what kind of bond I develop with a client sometimes certain things are out of question.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

That's what the "end call" button on our cell phones are for. lol Some people just don't have a whole lot of tact.

When I told this gentleman I'd make an exception for him but asked him to avoid messaging me until he has a specific date and time. (He was sending me my own photos and making outfit requests for a 45 min booking..) He got really mad at me and called me pretentious. This is a really good example of everything I mentioned above.

 

[LC18]

Question for men: When you say you’re looking for a girl who’s natural. Does that include lip injections?

Thanks for answering that question. I guess it’s just like makeup, men don’t always notice that women are wearing makeup because they do a “no makeup-makeup” look

When someone asks for a natural woman I tend to not refer my colleagues that have lip injections

I think for me natural is linked to how easy it would be to reverse that enhancement


Yet another subjective thing

 

[Johnny test]

Women have been killed doing this job, and to some, that isn't even the worst case senario, though it is an ultimate fear, as what you can live threw, you will carry with you for the rest of your life.

Yes it is a really stupid thing, and a calculated risk for those who do it, to let your guard down entirely and trust a client with your body and life because you allow yourself to be put in a position you can't protect yourself from.

Trust of that sort should never be freely given to someone you aren't 100% sure of, and I can't trust someone I spend an hour once in a while with. It only takes 1 time for things to fuck you up for the rest of your life.

As i said i don't want to argue (too much ) about this and i completely get the dangerous aspect of what you do.
On the other hand i really disagree about your choice of words "it is a really stupid thing", i know several ladies with which we had sessions where they were restrained and i wouldn't qualify their attitude and trust in me as stupid.