Ask us anything part 3

[Lunaseraphim]

I want to let you know that you are not alone with this. I have pretty much the same issue as I have discovered since starting to see SPs late last year. Thankfully, the SPs I saw were very understanding and compassionate, assuring me that it is not uncommon. Just being able to talk with them openly without shame has been a huge relief and encouraged me to change my habits. I also bring this issue up with new SPs I meet before we get physically intimate so that we can both manage our expectation and the flow of the date (ex: "Before we get started, I want to let you know I have difficulty achieving climax/maintaining my erection..."). I also book longer dates (2 hours minimum) going in with the desire for companionship with a lovely lady, so that even if I don't achieve climax, I can leave still having had a wonderful time. So try to find other intimate activities with your partner that both of you can enjoy without needing to cum being the goal, and that could reduce the pressure to "perform".

It will certainly take time and effort to readjust the mind and body, so I wish us both good luck in this journey.

"Without needing to cum being the goal" is really important and I think I personally don't think it's rare that people have a difficulty to cum specially with a new partner or someone they don't have an emotional attachment with. Personally I don't like it when clients feel that pressure to perform and project that on us, it doesn't bring a positive energy to the booking

 

[twenty4seven]

"Without needing to cum being the goal" is really important and I think I personally don't think it's rare that people have a difficulty to cum specially with a new partner or someone they don't have an emotional attachment with. Personally I don't like it when clients feel that pressure to perform and project that on us, it doesn't bring a positive energy to the booking

Agreed. Besides, it's way more freeing and fun to just let the session play out organically. If you cum, great, if she cums, even better, or maybe you just spend time however feels the most natural.

 

[Sean007]

Really in the same boat as you guys. When I first started to see SPs I was also consuming porn on a very regular basis, almost daily. I was experimenting the same issues on difficulty to sustain erections and difficulty to climax. Since then i have almost completely stopped porn. I meet SPs to fulfill a need for intimacy and have stopped seeing that having sex/makimg love always has to end with climax. I have learned and appreciate the act by it self, a shared moment with a spécial lady with no judgement. And if I climax then it is perfect. And with that state of mind and having stopped porn, I must admit that I climax moré often…. Just to say I usually book 3 hour sessions, I climax once. The rest is filled with conversation, touching, having a drink, eating, and having sex and having fun.

 

[LC18]

i have been thinking if i should ever say this outloud but i do have a question about how to approach my situation or atleast what to look before approaching SP, so my issue is kinda simple i lack experience in general and i am 30+, and that is because i watch alot of porn and i do tend to jerk off and cum multiple times a day, i had an experience before with an SP so basically when i am getting a HJ or BJ i am great and ready and hard but the moment i get to penetration i just go limp and the issue is that this has affect me very deeply to the point i am scared of intimacy in general and i am scarred of letting a women close or sharing a bed with her in fear of her figuring this out, playing porn does help to a degree but it is not really respectful to be with a girl and play porn i have tried to stop jerking off and watching but i cant seem to get it done past 2 weeks and that has ruined relationship before they have become physical.
So my question is this something that can be coach out of me i am physically in great shape and everything is working but mentally i am anxious and scarred and i put so much pressure on me, i am not sure i can do it alone. and if yes how do i present the situation to an SP

It takes time but it’s definitely not impossible. I have tried a few times with people that were self described “porn addicts”

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

It takes time but it’s definitely not impossible. I have tried a few times with people that were self described “porn addicts”

It goes to show how destructive excessive porn use is, in that it is able to neutralize one of our most basic human instincts: enjoying intimacy with another person.

 

[LC18]

It goes to show how destructive excessive porn use is, in that it is able to neutralize one of our most basic human instincts: enjoying intimacy with another person.

That’s why porn has been or will be banned in a few countries. However, I can’t judge anyone. I used to watch a lot of porn and even download videos to make sure I would still have some in case my wifi went out