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Curiousity: Men of The Lounge, Why are you Here?

westwoody

nice gent
Jul 29, 2016
611
191
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Winterpeg
Maybe those who use the rating scales are mostly into the one hour wham bam do it with as many different sp's as possible.
So they have little interest in whether or not they hurt anyone's feelings because they won't see them again anyway.
You can argue all you want about sensitivity but those guys are not going to change.
Certainly, if you spend a lot of time, overnights, weekends, with someone her feelings become very important.
But that is completely different experience, something I never understood until I tried it myself.
Someone can go from a hot chick in a sexy picture to an actual person.
 

CaptRenault

A poor corrupt official
Jun 29, 2003
2,184
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Casablanca
...there can be often a lack of sensitivity towards other people's realities. It's not always on purpose, but if we put ourselves in the other's shoes before speaking up, we wouldn't have the same conversation.

Here's a strong example : take the N word...

What I mean by the example is that it's relative. In the history of transgenders, we haven't been sensitized to the realities they've been dealing with yet...

...I believe that when we think about others before we think about ourselves...

I strongly disagree with your implication that the use of the phrase "transgender woman" is somehow equivalent to using the "N-word."

Your post is a list of platitudes that almost no MERB member would disagree with. The key question is what specific actions, if any, should be taken against members who use certain words or review methods (i.e. numerical ratings) that a few members and some escorts find objectionable? And who should take those actions?

As I stated, it's up to the mods (and Fred Zed as owner) to set the rules and enforce them. I think the members can help influence the rules by expressing their views on what constitutes disrespect and insensitivity. But we should not allow a small group of individuals who say that their feelings have been hurt to set the norms of what can and cannot be said on MERB.

Also, I would remind escorts who feel that they don't like numerical ratings, that they have the option of having the mods enforce a "no-review" policy for them. Doing so takes care of the problem for them.
 

Julia Sky

Supporting Member
Oct 29, 2016
1,963
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Montreal
Also, I would remind escorts who feel that they don't like numerical ratings, that they have the option of having the mods enforce a "no-review" policy for them. Doing so takes care of the problem for them.

I have been informed by a mod that if I wanted to do that I would have to either retire, or have solid evidence that my privacy and security is being endangered by those reviews (probably like if a girl ran away from an abusive pimp and a review tells hints on her new location, I guess they mean stuff like that)....

So no, we don't actually get to do that lol
 

Sol Tee Nutz

Well-Known Member
Apr 29, 2012
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Look behind you.
But we should not allow a small group of individuals who say that their feelings have been hurt to set the norms of what can and cannot be said or done.

Funny, reminds me of socialists. The or done I added.
 

CaptRenault

A poor corrupt official
Jun 29, 2003
2,184
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I have been informed by a mod that if I wanted to do that I would have to either retire, or have solid evidence that my privacy and security is being endangered by those reviews..

In that case, if an escort is bothered by reviews that use numbers or that she perceives as insensitive, then she has three choices: retire; ignore reviews; or develop thicker skin.

Nevertheless, I don't agree that there is a big problem with insensitive/disrespectful reviews on MERB. Amber claims that there is a big problem, but where is the evidence? She claims to speak for many escorts but I think she is a self appointed spokeswoman attributing her personal views to a large group of ladies.

If ithere are relatively few escorts participating in MERB discussions, I think it's because 1) they either have better things to do with their time; 2) they are not that interested in the topics discussed here or 3) they don't think it will help their business or that it may even hurt their business.

I also think that most women don't really enjoy the free-wheeling and often rambunctious discussions that take place on a male dominated discussion forum. That generalization applies not just to sex related boards like MERB but also to other forums where men dominate such as sports or gaming boards.
 

gugu

Active Member
Feb 11, 2009
1,741
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In that case, if an escort is bothered by reviews that use numbers or that she perceives as insensitive, then she has three choices: retire; ignore reviews; or develop thicker skin.

There's a forth choice that will work most of the time: she can tell her clients that if they intend to do a review, she would appreciate that they avoid using rating numbers.
 

CaptRenault

A poor corrupt official
Jun 29, 2003
2,184
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There's a forth choice that will work most of the time: she can tell her clients that if they intend to do a review, she would appreciate that they avoid using rating numbers.

Gugu, good point. I think most guys would respect such a request. But I would not want to see a MERB rule that prohibited numerical ratings.

I don't use numerical ratings in my reviews on MERB. I also don't find them to be particularly useful when others use them.

But I don't think the use of numerical ratings is inherently insensitive or disrespectful. Moreover my general impression is that most reviewers give numerical ratings that are generally quite high (by that I mean 7 or above).

I also think that the importance of reviews is in general overrated. I have often seen ladies who have some negative reviews or comments. As long as the lady has some good comments and I like the her type and I trust the agency, then I will take a chance on her. The reverse is true too. I don't always like the most popular girls who have the greatest number of good reviews. I would rather trust my own instinct and judgment and meet ladies who are somewhat under the radar.
 

stephanie.brown~

Sweet Baby Succubus
Aug 27, 2016
25
0
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xstephaniebrownx.wixsite.com
Wow. Cool so this thread has taught me that I'm not going to really be interacting with most of you, because you can't handle me calling you transmisogynist for saying trans women aren't "real women", but you tell us to have thicker skin about you rating our looks in a way so arbitrary people have to like plot your reviewing history to make sense of it? Thinking we dont already have that skin is pretty absurd also I mean, we are here doing what we do in the face of you right?

Thanks to those of you trying to interact with your disrespectful brethren. Maybe they will listen better to you? Maybe.

Also I just wanna clear up that I never meant that you shouldnt mention sex acts at all lol, idk if yall can't detect sarcasm or if its like for some reason fun to pretend im afraid of sex acts I literally perform on the daily? Come on. There is a difference between "and she had a greek option that I really enjoyed the pacing of" and "yeah and she was burning for my dick so I put it in her ass hard and fast and she just rode it like I was a prize Harley" like, ok so you arent really interested in actual reviewing you just wanna read Penthouse forum, be honest.

Ok babes, peace xx
 

starry

Member
Oct 21, 2016
161
0
16
Wow. Cool so this thread has taught me that I'm not going to really be interacting with most of you, because you can't handle me calling you transmisogynist for saying trans women aren't "real women", but you tell us to have thicker skin about you rating our looks in a way so arbitrary people have to like plot your reviewing history to make sense of it? Thinking we dont already have that skin is pretty absurd also I mean, we are here doing what we do in the face of you right?

Thanks to those of you trying to interact with your disrespectful brethren. Maybe they will listen better to you? Maybe.

Also I just wanna clear up that I never meant that you shouldnt mention sex acts at all lol, idk if yall can't detect sarcasm or if its like for some reason fun to pretend im afraid of sex acts I literally perform on the daily? Come on. There is a difference between "and she had a greek option that I really enjoyed the pacing of" and "yeah and she was burning for my dick so I put it in her ass hard and fast and she just rode it like I was a prize Harley" like, ok so you arent really interested in actual reviewing you just wanna read Penthouse forum, be honest.

Ok babes, peace xx

So just so that I understand your issue is only with the use of language that may harm another's feelings. You dont have a problem with a client who would decline an encounter with a person who has transitioned for that reason and therefore needs to know. In other words you are ok with how the client feels, just perhaps not with how he chooses to express himself.
 

AmberRose

Sexual Deviant
Sep 1, 2014
370
2
0
33
Montreal, Ottawa
In that case, if an escort is bothered by reviews that use numbers or that she perceives as insensitive, then she has three choices: retire; ignore reviews; or develop thicker skin.

Nevertheless, I don't agree that there is a big problem with insensitive/disrespectful reviews on MERB. Amber claims that there is a big problem, but where is the evidence? She claims to speak for many escorts but I think she is a self appointed spokeswoman attributing her personal views to a large group of ladies.
Goodness gracious, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning :p

I didn't actually say there was a big issue with reviews, that was another provider, I actually had said a few times that reviews do serve a purpose? I personally like reviews so not sure why everybody is getting the impression I hate them. The problems I was actually talking about was what I listed a few pages ago.

Also yes, I'm sure you know so much more about how providers think and feel than an actual worker who spends all day every day talking and discussing about these topics with actual providers.
Silly me, I should really stop using the privilege I have of being an open and out sex worker who doesn't care about upsetting the clients on here to speak over those who actually can't talk freely ;) ;)
 
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westwoody

nice gent
Jul 29, 2016
611
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Winterpeg
you can't handle me calling you transmisogynist for saying trans women aren't "real women"

Like it or not, some people are going to have different opinions than you. Ad hominem attacks make you look just as closed minded as anyone else on this issue.

Lots of men AND women do not consider trans women "real women". If you want them to respect your opinion, you have to respect theirs. There is no right or wrong side to this matter. Sometimes you have to let things go.

Frankly I do not give shit either way. But I am sick and tired of how this one issue sends some people batshit crazy and takes over every thread it contaminates.
 

jalimon

I am addicted member
Dec 28, 2015
6,251
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That's makes us 2 westwoody!

I started to understand gay's when in discussion with one he once told me "it's not a choice!". I have the same frame of mind with Trans. It's not a choice, they were just born wrong.

That said, civility is that I simply want to know with whom I am having a sexual relation. A woman, a men, a trans? I just want to know.

Cheers,
 

Splotch

Member
Nov 21, 2010
176
0
16
That's makes us 2 westwoody!

I started to understand gay's when in discussion with one he once told me "it's not a choice!". I have the same frame of mind with Trans. It's not a choice, they were just born wrong.

Cheers,

"they were just born wrong"....
Yeesh! I hope you were trying to say "they were born in the wrong body", which is a bit more considerate LOL!
 

jalimon

I am addicted member
Dec 28, 2015
6,251
166
63
"they were just born wrong"....
Yeesh! I hope you were trying to say "they were born in the wrong body", which is a bit more considerate LOL!

Oups thanks! Yes sorry!

I have an excuse, I am french. I tough it was ok to write it that way. But now realize the meaning is completely different.

Cheers,
 

CaptRenault

A poor corrupt official
Jun 29, 2003
2,184
1,121
113
Casablanca
Wow. Cool so this thread has taught me that I'm not going to really be interacting with most of you, because you can't handle me calling you transmisogynist for saying trans women aren't "real women"...xx

Well, I guess there are some guys who are more turned on by the acronym SJW than GFE but not me. :D

À chacun son goût.
 

EagerBeaver

Veteran of Misadventures
Jul 11, 2003
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You on the other hand only seem to post when you are pissed off about something and start with attacking and sarcastic remarks like " I am really going to lose my shit", " who pissed in your cornflakes" and want to educate everybody. It is no wonder that people may not agree with you, they have probably lost sight of what you are trying to say by the way you are saying it.

While this may be true, the most irritating statement she has made is purporting to speak for multitudes of SPs (300 or more) as though she was their elected union representative. I don't doubt her views are shared by some and not by others, and some who share her views are nevertheless not inhibited from posting and let the allegedly offensive or crude or distasteful comments slide.

The truth is that there is no union rep for SPs nor is there one for clients. As CR mentioned there are Moderators whose job it is to address the standards of postings and to guide discussions, if they are believed to be getting off topic or becoming disrespectful or out of line. Anyone who passes judgments on what is or is not suitable posting content on MERB is in effect acting as a private Moderator, and usurping the actual Moderator's designated functions, which is disrespectful to the official Mods if not outright crapping on them.

I have been on MERB since 2003 when it was started (I had a prior EagerBeaver account that had to be deleted in July 2003 due to an early software glitch), and in that time I can count on one hand the occasions I asked the Mods to intervene in a thread that had gotten out of hand. On almost all of those occasions, the Mods acted and locked the threads. The most recent one I can think of was last year when someone under a fake handle started a shillfest for one agency. Although I was criticized for intervening in the thread and exposing the thread starter as a multi-handled impostor (which was actually done by other MERB members before me), the Mods agreed and shut his stupid shillfest down.

The race and gender threads are very thorny topics, as are the STD threads. In around 2004-2006 or so the STD threads were being used to impugn specific SPs, and the Mods started casting a very jaundiced eye upon them. They usually were shut down as containing utter nonsense and junk science by individuals who do not even have college degrees let alone an M.D. or doctorate in the sciences. Race and gender threads and political threads remain thorny dilemmas that are the bane of the Moderators' existence. The Trumped threads were allowed to live on beyond their useful shelf lives, but finally the Mods shut down both, much to the consternation of the antagonists therein (of which I was an infrequent contributor, as politics do not excite me). It was probably causing too many complaints and headaches so who can blame them. It is not their job to eat popcorn after all.

So in my eyes, all points of view should be respected and the Mods should be allowed to do their job which they have mostly done pretty well, since the beginning of the board and until now.

BTW, the last thread I recall on race and an accusation of racism was against the agency which just won agency of the year for 2016. The thread was shut down as unsubstantiated.
 

BookerL

Gorgeous ladies Fanatic
Apr 29, 2014
5,789
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Northern emisphere
In the very beginning MERB starting in 2003 was just a bunch of Anglophone male clients with a base of operations in Toronto area. Eventually it developed into a bilingual board.

This is really a funny one !
In Quebec their is French and then theirs French !
Please translate The Lounge > La Longe !:lol:





Cheers




Booker
 

Sol Tee Nutz

Well-Known Member
Apr 29, 2012
7,675
1,523
113
Look behind you.
Wow. Cool so this thread has taught me that I'm not going to really be interacting with most of you, because you can't handle me calling you transmisogynist for saying trans women aren't "real women",

Yeah, just my opinion but a high majority of the gents here are older and this trans thing is kind of new to many. For someone to say trans women are not real women and someone getting upset about it is kind of funny. Is Caitlyn Jenner a real woman? Sorry but no. Is a guy who has had breast implants, hormone shots, a dick cut off, replaced by a vagina and facial surgery a " real " woman? Again, sorry but no. Same with people against gay marraige and calling them a homophobe or people against Islam and calling them an Islamophobe, what the fuck is that.
And do not think you are not seeing most of us is due to your name calling.
 

westwoody

nice gent
Jul 29, 2016
611
191
63
Winterpeg
It is best if even the stupidest ideas are openly discussed rather than censored.

If an idea is really bad or wrong it can be proven so in the court of public opinion.

Many ideas we take for granted would have been scandalous at one time. Women voting? That's just crazy!
 
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