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MERB help me, I fell in love with an escort

Aficionado

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Sep 10, 2016
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Considering I'm barely sleeping these days, I must figure this out soon or I'll bust.

I'll just tell you one thing, actually two: your statement above, I feel the same way, and I'm just in the same situation as you, only not with an escort but with an MP, and it all ended in August and I still think of her every fucking day of my life

Good luck!
 

EagerBeaver

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I would disagree with CaptRenault, do not become a bank. I.

SB, I think Captain R was being facetious. His post referred to a real life situation in which some hobbyist(s) became banks and, like you, found out the hard way about loaning money. I frankly believe that SP just worked you for the money, set you up. Guys like Babou or you seeing her 5 times in 8 days, are easy targets for the calculating, manipulating SP and the client usually realizes it too late. But you learned your lesson and moved on. Never bankroll anyone who is in the business, unless you don't want the money back.
 

CaptRenault

A poor corrupt official
Jun 29, 2003
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SB, I think Captain R was being facetious...

Guilty. :lol:

Here's my real advice--just tell her:

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

I'm still hurtin' from the last time
You walked on this heart of mine
I can't find much to believe in
You let me down so many times
Heaven knows how I love you
But I'm tired of holding on

You better kiss me
'Cause you're gonna miss me when I'm gone

Not much chance we're gonna make it
If I'm the only one who's trying
You know I'm running out of reasons
We're running out of time
Someday, girl, you're gonna wake up
And wonder what went wrong

You better kiss me
'Cause you're gonna miss me when I'm gone

You're good at going through the motions
All I hear are alibis
Now I get this empty feeling
When I look into your eyes
I don't see the love light shining
I don't know what's going on

You better kiss me
'Cause you're gonna miss me when I'm gone
 

sugarbear1966

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Jul 30, 2011
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Hey EB, yes I get it that the post was drenched in sarcasm. It is just generally concluded by a statement indicating as such. Which he didn't do.

As for the SP, I knew I would most likely never see that money returned to me. That, in hindsight, I suppose was a gesture to see if she could prove to herself that she was capable of doing the right thing. She would have made more money just charging me for the time we spent together off the clock. Hence why it didn't seem she was playing me. Who knows... end result remains the same.

Babou...heed the warnings of your fellow hobbyists!!
 

Babou

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Sep 16, 2012
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Patron, Sugarbear, thanks for the stories/advice. Maybe I do have it better than most. But like women, I want it all. And we all know what the Buddha has to say about that.

CaptRenault, thanks for the poem, even that helps!

Aficionado, I feel for you. We'll get out of it.

So I think I'm succeeding in channeling my thoughts for escort #1 (in love) to escort #2 (amazingly beautiful) and I was able to sleep better last night. I just booked another "therapy" session with her tomorrow. After that I'll switch to another one because I fear I might be emotionally vulnerable right now.

I think I'm already doing slightly better (but beware the relapse once #1 is back in town). I'll let you know.
 

EagerBeaver

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Babou, that’s a good strategy for now. It will also gain for you experience and perspective. The more experience I gained with women, the more I knew what I wanted. Less is not more. More is more.
 

Gobroncosgo

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Apr 27, 2016
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As long as it makes you realize this is a hobby and not real all good. Don’t throw away your life with your SO for this illusion. Just enjoy the illusion.
 

hungry101

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Oct 29, 2007
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Yes, but it doesn't sound like his significant other is that significant to him.

If this is true, hide your money and find a way to get away from your SO for as little as possible. Hang out in Montreal. Take vacations to Thailand, Germany, Spain, Brazil, Colombia....have a ball hobbying all over the world. I do not regret this hobby of mine. The only thing I regret was that I didn't start earlier. Many, if not all of us, live double lives on here. We love our SOs. We would just rather be having sex with young 20 somethings...maybe two at a time and maybe several over a long weekend. But when I read someone speak about their significant other like they were insignificant I wonder why you would stick it out with this person? Are there children you are responsible for? If not, ditch the ball and chain and throw yourself into this hobby. Fall in love with as many of these girls as you like. Leave a string of broken hearts all over the globe. Have a ball with your new found freedom.
 

Babou

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Why would you bet that first hundred bucks?

She is touring with another girl with which she offers duos, but given the fact that I had to change hats every time I assumed they weren't together.
 

Babou

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Yes, but it doesn't sound like his significant other is that significant to him.

If this is true, hide your money and find a way to get away from your SO for as little as possible. Hang out in Montreal. Take vacations to Thailand, Germany, Spain, Brazil, Colombia....have a ball hobbying all over the world. I do not regret this hobby of mine. The only thing I regret was that I didn't start earlier. Many, if not all of us, live double lives on here. We love our SOs. We would just rather be having sex with young 20 somethings...maybe two at a time and maybe several over a long weekend. But when I read someone speak about their significant other like they were insignificant I wonder why you would stick it out with this person? Are there children you are responsible for? If not, ditch the ball and chain and throw yourself into this hobby. Fall in love with as many of these girls as you like. Leave a string of broken hearts all over the globe. Have a ball with your new found freedom.


She is significant and I regret if I gave the impression she weren't. I wouldn't put up with the rest if it weren't the case. But the sexless life is weighing heavier and heavier on me. And no, seeing escorts is not a relief for that, quite the opposite. The more I see them, the more I crave it. I've gone from seeing escorts about once a month (doubling me sexlife) for the past few years (with the occasional binge when the occasion arose) to about once or twice a week this fall. At some point, it will become a financial drag. So yeah, I am considering a change. I start to wonder if my sudden and uncharacteristic crush for that escort is the direct result of my subconscious telling me it's time to move on. And if I weren't at that other crossroad in my life (other complicated story I will not get into), I think I just might've done it already.

In other news, I saw that other escort #2 again today. Really amazingly beautiful woman. We had a great talk afterwards about this and her life (the poor next customer kept calling because we were way overtime) and hearing the same things once again, but this time from a beautiful naked woman was somehow more convincing. I feel emotionally freer (if not sexually; it already seems so long ago), but the real test will be the next time escort #1 shows up in town.

I will watch that movie this weekend if I can be alone long enough.
 

Babou

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Sep 16, 2012
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give up her life: Yeah, which is not gonna happen.

Touring: This is happening in Europe and she is from the eastern block. This probably doesn't change a word you've said which, incidentally, has many close points with what escort #2 (although she is touring now, she is usually based in the same city) explained to me. Don't worry, I might've been fantasizing a lot about this (including I'm dying of cancer and will blow all my monies on her during my last year on Earth), but my brain was never under the illusion she'd be tempted to give anything up for me.

Science: Didn't think of that, but I might've. Might explain it.
 

Babou

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Sep 16, 2012
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Update on my situation. Things went from bad, to better, to worse and to hopeless.

I saw escort #2 three times in total and we kept contact afterwards. We talked a lot, I was doing better. Then I did something stupid. I looked at the pictures from escort #1 and I was all the way back to square 1. I couldn't take it, so I texted her asking where she was going to be next (this) week. She tells me she'll be in town until Christmas. So being the dope I am, I booked her for two hours on her first working day 4 days later. In the meantime, I figured I'd go see someone else, try to detach myself. The meeting was really bad and I felt horrible, so I went back to looking at pictures of #1. I tried porn, but that doesn't intererst me anymore.

So yesterday was my meeting with #1. Great entry, she acts as if I'm her boyfriend she hasn't seen in one month. I start by DATY, which I never do with escorts, but then again, never booked one for two hours and I was never in love with one before. After a while we move on to even more exciting things and eventually she asks doggy. After a while things are really hot, I'm really thirsty, so I pull out to have a drink... and I notice the condom is completely broken. As in, I might as well not be wearing one. So that broke the mood, she starts stressing out, asks me a few times if I have something which I don't. Fortunately, I happen to have had a complete test this summer and the results were on my phone, so I show her. Twice. And then we start talking. And I tell her I love her, I know I shouldn't, but I do. And I talk about our last meeting, about the month she hasn't been around, she talks about her, I talk about me, she tells me she wants out of the biz, that she likes and doesn't like her job, but that life is difficult (don't forget she's from the eastern block), I mention I'm at crossroads, the troubles with my wife, that she doesn't want kids, that we barely ever have sex, she tells she sees herself with a husband, a kid and a house in a few years. A few times during our conversation I can see she's being overtaken by emotion, that she's trying to keep her cool. By then, my brain has almost been completely kicked out of the door and I basically propose her a relationship. As in, 'I might be moving to Switzerland, would you come with me?' Eventually we move back to doing sexy things, I finish and we talk some more. She tells me to give her my e-mail, to come back soon (which I can't because I'm back in Mtl tomorrow), she doesn't want me to go, but she has this other client (which is true, I even know the guy). And then she tells me something that sounds a dim alarm in my head. She's 18. As in, really, no lies. I assumed the profile age was a lie as it generally is. As a reminder, I just turned 40 this year. Getting out is difficult, but alas reality awaits. Or does it?

So we exchange a few more sms. She tells me this work is really hard for her. She'll tell me more later which she does during the night (she's not into trouble). This morning I send her a long mansplaining message about life, choices, not to overdo this job as this could lead to problems. She tells me not to worry, that she is strong and perhaps she'll meet someone that loves her like I do. I tell that she'll meet tons, all she has to do is pick the right one that she loves and would be good to her and that I envy that lucky person. She then tells me I can't be envious of myself. This gives me an instant erection. We've been chatting ever since. She sends me pictures, she asks for one, etc.

I feel like I'm foolish 20-year old boy. I sure am acting like one. But I can't help it. Apparently Asians consider that the "being in love" phase is a mental sickness to be overcome before marriage. I can't blame them, but wouldn't it be nice to be sick this way all the time?

Now I don't even want to go to Montreal. I just want to go spend time with this young flower, I dream of having kids with her and blissfully try to ignore three tiny little annoying facts:

1. I am still in a relationship which should be broken if it deserves breaking, but not broken on a whim because I met an escort girl 22 years younger than I.

2. She's 18. It's sexy in porn, nice with an escort, but aside from the unavoidable mentality difference that comes with significant age differences, which I might be able to handle (René was able with Céline. So's the Donald with his wife, although not sure what that means considering his mental age), at 18, we're not complete adult yets. It's the following years that define you. Most people change a lot in those years. I could enjoy whatever happens, but if I leave my wife to have kids, I can't just be having fun with young girls. I need to find the spouse that will bear me kids. And fast.

3. She could be conning me. Yes, I did watch 'My thai bride'. No, I don't want to be that sucker. Yes, a lot of escorts would jump at the opportunity of conning an older man having his midlife crisis. But also, escorts ending up with clients for love reasons is not unheard of. The way I read things, she seems sincere. I think being young, she just could be having a crush on this young looking and still not bad looking older dude who is covering her of compliments. Plus she might go for the father figure. Escort #2 (who is begging me NOT to fall for it, that she routinely tells clients who are in love with her that she loves them) tells me 40 yo is the perfect age for a man. So you know, is the dream true or just an illusion? I have no intent on dishing out more money than I would simply hiring her services, not until I can be sure.

All my adult life I've made wise and respectable decisions, followed my head and ignored my heart. Twenty years later, it has earned me a career, a good financial position, great physical and emotional health and endurance. Everything my head wanted. But what of my heart's desires? They haven't come true, whatever they were, and I have steadily grown unhappier. So what if, for once in my whole adult life, I did something my brain says it stupid but which my heart says is genius? Would that be so bad? Aren't I allowed to do ONE thing my family, friends and society will all judge to be foolish? I have a saying: "if what you're doing isn't working, try something else".
 

Willgill

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Apr 9, 2017
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You've made your mind so I'd say go for it. In the meantime, if I can bet, I will bet with all my fortune that this will end ugly.
 

Sol Tee Nutz

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Apr 29, 2012
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Look behind you.
You are not falling in love but falling in lust would be more accurate.
Who would not lust to be with someone half your age or more and out of your league.
Keep your head on straight and remember escorts are sales people.
 

EagerBeaver

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In the meantime, if I can bet, I will bet with all my fortune that this will end ugly.

I kind of think the odds in favor of this happening are so good, that it would not be worth betting your fortune. You would only incrementally increase it, maybe 1%, but lose it on the odd chance that this ends well.
 

CaptRenault

A poor corrupt official
Jun 29, 2003
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Update on my situation. Things went from bad, to better, to worse and to hopeless.

...I feel like I'm foolish 20-year old boy. I sure am acting like one. But I can't help it. ...So what if, for once in my whole adult life, I did something my brain says it stupid but which my heart says is genius? Would that be so bad? Aren't I allowed to do ONE thing my family, friends and society will all judge to be foolish? .

GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!
 

Steely Dan

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Well, I agree ,listen to Sam and CptRenaut...

What you describe would look good on a big screen,saving the poor lost child-woman... this is real life.
Well it is not it is fantasy life that you want to change to real,that is a recipe for disaster...

Take a pause and no, trying to see others ladies is not a solution,stop seeing anybody including your mirage girl and at this point I think you should use your hobby money for a another kind of session where there is a couch but you stay dressed...

:thumb:.........
 

Babou

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Sep 16, 2012
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Thanks all.

Of course I'm currently insane, out of my mind, illogical and in need of therapy. I booked a session with a therapist yesterday before writing that crazy cry-for-help msg.

I am not married as someone suggested.

She's not 18, couldn't be. It's just part of the web of lies.

I've been spending the last 24h crashing down hard. I wouldn't call it 'reality sinking in', more like 'reality crushing in'. I'm a pathetic total mess.

I've decided to not contact her again. If all goes well, she won't contact me. I might be able to avert financial and social disaster.

As for other girls, I currently can't fancy anyone else and am thinking about giving up the hobby.
 

EagerBeaver

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Babou,

You probably can and will meet other ladies even better than this one you have a crush on, but you need to clean up your attitude towards escorts and view them as business partners you have sex with. This board and its advertisers are not dating services and seeing escorts should not be a quest for love or a girlfriend or a wife. Frankly, guys in the industry who do this drive girls out of the business and it hurts the real clients who just want to have some casual fun.

That girl probably isn’t 18 and is trying to lose you as you spooked the shit out of her and possibly even caused her to leave the business which would be everyone else’s loss. This may have been your subliminal intention.

And please mention this post to your therapist and see what he or she thinks about it because I think you need reinforcement of this.
 
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