Part VI: The ultimate condom taste test
When it comes down to gastronomic pleasures of the tongue, taste is everything. No matter how good (or bad) the food looks, if you close your eyes or have a blindfolded taste test, it will heighten your senses and enable complete appreciation of the naked taste of food on the millions of sensors of your tongue.
When it comes down to sexual pleasures of tongue, there is a role reversal and sensations are mostly felt by the body part submitted to the expert action of the tongue.
The method: This brief but necessary introduction allows me to expose an important scientific sexual experiment that I performed during one of my initial encounters with an expert lady (Chef). When she offered me a choice of condoms, I realized that I did not have any preference. A brief discussion on the potential virtues of Brand A vs Brand B ensued, and we determined that the potential advertised advantages of one vs the other had to be rigorously tested during a future encounter.
The experiment: When the day of the experiment came, she cleverly designed a single-blind condom taste test. Her expert tongue (and mouth) would be used to apply a rigorously controlled stimulus on my erect penis covered with Brand A or Brand B condoms. As I was blinded to the order of applications, she diligently proceeded with scientific expertise and I was more that happy to serve as a guinea pig. With Brand A in place, I concentrated on the sensations and transmission of warmth. She then switched to Brand B and we performed the same experiment while I tried to make mental notes of the sensations and differences. After we tested brand B, I was “very excited” and she proceeded to a control experiment without condom.
The results: You are probably all anxiously waiting for me to give you the official results of this milestone scientific endeavor. I preferred Brand B, and so did she. This raises many interesting questions about the claims of condom manufacturers and how they are being tested!
Conclusion: I strongly recommend that you pass a condom taste test. It is inexpensive, fun, exciting and a great way to determine your preferences. It is delicious and I challenge you to last more than two brands…
F.C.