Permanent NHL Free For All Thread

[joelcairo]

It's now 7 losses in a row and a record of 1-8-1 in the last 10 for the pathetic Leafs, following their latest 4-1 humiliation at home.

Here's the BEST part:

With his MINUS 38, Kessel of course is now ranked 858th out of 858 NHL skaters who have suited up this season.

Who is 857th? None other than Phil's roommate Bozak with a MINUS 37.

And, golly gee, who is 856th? Yes, that's right, it's their LINEMATE JVR with a MINUS 36.

So, Toronto's "top line" is a cumulative MINUS 111 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) thus far on the season and contains the THREE WORST PLUS-MINUS PLAYERS IN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE.

"Thank you Mr. Burke." "Thank you Mr. Nonis."

And the Leaf fans will no doubt gleefully point out that Brian Burke should be arrested for the ROBBERY he pulled off in acquiring Kessel from Boston.

The closest competitor for the top line is now Buffalo's Rasmus Ristolainen at minus 34. He's 855th out of 858, and his plus minus is STILL 2 better than JVR, 3 better than Bozie, and 4 better than "future Hall of Famer" Phil.

Boy oh boy, do the Leafs ever stink!

 

[joelcairo]

Being a Leaf must be like living in Hell.

PS: Maybe Booth and Kessel are not the best of friends.

 

[joelcairo]

I see that CBC plans to show the Ottawa-Toronto game tonight.

I think this is a brilliant marketing decision:

Hockey fans will tune in to watch the Sens.

Soap opera fans will tune in to watch the Leafs.

And comedy fans know that there are always laughs galore when the Leafs "play".

 

[joelcairo]

Why are the Leafs so wretched?

Some possible reasons:

Worst ownership
Worst previous ownership
Worst current GM
Worst previous GM
Worst GM before that
Worst "captain"
Worst top d-man
Worst "star" player
Worst "top line"
Worst THREE (!!!!!!!!!) plus-minus players
Worst team spirit
Worst mental attitude
Worst use of the salary cap
Worst drafting
Worst history since 1967
Worst playoff presence in the past decade
Worst collapse in a game 7
Worst team chemistry
Worst "core group"
Worst fitness level (overweight players, slow players, made-of-glass players)
Worst attitude toward fans
Worst wimps and cowards
Worst backchecking
Worst ticket prices (HIGHEST in the league for the LOWEST quality)
Worst and most fragile egos

 

[joelcairo]

Congratulations Leafs!

Really and sincerely!

Last season the Leafs allowed 35.9 shots per game, ranking 30th out of 30 in the league.

So far this season they are a VERY impressive 28th out of 30, allowing only 33.1 shots per game.

Well done Leafs:thumb:

 

[joelcairo]

A Guide for Parents

If you have young children that you are teaching about hockey, the scary day will come when you have to bring up the sickening subject of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

To help prepare you for this traumatic experience, I have compiled a mini-dictionary of the terminology that you will have to explain to your young pupils. Be prepared with this list of words:

sad sack
pylon
overweight
team cancer
made of glass
48 years
epic collapse
game seven
pathetic
Kordic
fired
toaster
Colton "Not Bobby"
whiners
losers
Spinner Spencer
wretched
Koolaid
Ballard
most overrated as voted by fellow players
Nelson Mandela
Hogtown
cowardly
plus-minus - oops, sorry: for the Leafs you ONLY need the "minus"
no future
backchecking - oops, sorry AGAIN: you don't need that word for the Leafs!

 

[joelcairo]

The Rolling Stones are touring North America this summer but will be skipping Toronto.

This goes to show that you can learn something new every day: until today, I had no idea that the Stones were hockey fans!

 

[wolfie7]

LMAO. :lol: Talk about piling it on, with zero responses from Leaf Nation!!!! ROFL. eace: :deadhorse: eace:

 

[anon_vlad]

The Leafs have now won two in a row against a playoff contender and a very good team, a definite pain in the pocketbook for me. I never understood the "Lightening doesn't strike twice in the same place" cliche as I do now. I guess that they can try a little to keep their jobs now that they have secured their customary spring golf vacations.

Tonight they play Buffalo, so it is even possible that they have a 3 game winning streak in 2015! They still have to be careful not to stumble into 26th place in the 30 team league and slightly decrease their chance of obtaining yet another saviour.

 

[joelcairo]

It took a shootout for the Bruins to beat the Leafs and even then it was only 2-1. Give all the credit to Reimer for keeping it close by stopping 49 of FIFTY shots. Yes, as usual the rest of the Leafs absolutely ROTTED.

I must apologize for ragging on the "big" (ha ha) line and on "captain" Dion all the time....because after watching this game I realize I ALSO should have been ragging on Kadri and Lupul. No wonder the Leafs suck!

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

My Oilers had a chance to redeem themselves last night and beat the Flames to lessen their chances for a playoff spot ( I admire the Flames for what they have done but this is just a rivalry thing ). Anyways Flames 4 Oilers 0................................ Fuck.

 

[smuler]

I'm totally confused why the Oilers can't get their shit together..

What are the attendance figures there Sol ?

I still always make sure to watch the Rangers west coast swings through Canada..

I remember two nights in particular
The first game that we saw Pavel Bure and the first night I saw Teemu Selanne

I was like WTF

Best Regards

Smuler

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

I think all the Oilers games are sold out. http://espn.go.com/nhl/attendance

I was at the Oiler Leafs game a few weeks ago and wall to wall people.... almost as many Leafs fans as Oilers...

 

[joelcairo]

Rob Ford Named to the Board of the Hockey Hall of Fame

Reaction from Bruce Arthur, Toronto Star:

"This move is in keeping with Toronto's proud and lengthy history as the global capital of hockey pratfalls and embarrassments , and is a shame for the Hall."

 

[joelcairo]

The pathetic Leafs picked up an amazing 3 of 4 possible points this weekend.

Reimer stole a point against the Bruins when his horrible team allowed 50 shots.

Bernier - no doubt following in the footsteps of his hero Nelson Mandela - stole 2 points against the Sens when his horrible team allowed 45 shots.

2 games, a total of 95 shots against. Typical Leaf garbage but as occasionally happens their goalies saved their sorry asses. Not that it matters since they were long ago eliminated from playoff contention - as usual. Fore!

 

[joelcairo]

Hart Trophy Candidates

People are talking about Price, Ovie and Tavares.

WHAT!!!!!! NO Kessel? No JVR? No Bozie? No "captain" Dion? No Glass Man? No Kadri? RIDICULOUS!

Oh well, at least the great Peter Horachek might win the Jack Adams as Coach of the Year.

 

[november]

The Leafs win when most people wanted them to lose. They hurt the Senators chances to making the playoffs. It's going to be an interesting finish in the standings. Two points separate four teams.

 

[gohabsgo]

The pathetic Leafs picked up an amazing 3 of 4 possible points this weekend.

...thereby lowering their odds at the draft lottery. There's the irony - when the Leafs win, they actually lose ... :lol:

 

[joelcairo]

The Hockey News has an article about the possibility of trading Marc Savard.

I think he would be an IDEAL acquisition for the Leafs. He could join Nathan Horton as another individual drawing a HUGE salary from Toronto for NEVER PLAYING AGAIN.

Leaf fans would undoubtedly be overjoyed if Nonis could sign Savard, exactly as they were when he made the "fantastic, just FANTASTIC" move of picking up Horton.

 

[joelcairo]

Saw an article today called "The Most Embarrassing Losses in Sports History." The author obviously knows nothing about hockey because he did not mention the EPIC LEAF COLLAPSE against Boston in game 7.

One of the so-called embarrassing losses was Tyson losing to Buster Douglas but in my opinion that wasn't "embarrassing" - it was simply a major MAJOR upset.